My friend got engaged to her boyfriend, whom she very much adores, so I was very happy for her. Without me asking, she showed me her e-ring (she's much more extroverted than I, so there was nothing too abnormal about her thrusting it in my face for me to appreciate.)
I said it was "so nice", and that it looked "peaceful." She seemed offended/confused. Not sure why but trying to backpeddle out of offending her, I hastily added that "it gives me a peaceful, zen like feeling, just looking at it, because of the design" hoping that would clear up any misunderstanding. She still seemed unimpressed with this, but we moved on to talking about the proposal/wedding.
Anyway, I've been feeling guilty about this ever since, and also confused. Is "peaceful" a euphemism for "not-so-great"? Because that's not how I meant it.
To be honest, the ring kind of surprised me, only because she is very wealthy (much more so than I) and her boyfriend does alright for himself as well, and she likes to be fashionable... so I was expecting something much more gaudy. It was a smallish (for my expectations of her), round stone, set recessed into a plain wide band to be level with the surface (sorry, I'm sure there is a proper term for it.) No other adornment.
I was surprised... not judgmental - I am not a size queen, and honestly I was impressed with her that she didn't think gaudiness was vital (she was obviously thrilled with it even though they could have easily afforded a much huger honker). And I didn't show surprise, either... I've got a good poker face and I was looking at the ring, not her face, anyway. But the first appropriate compliment that came to me to say about someone's ring ("it's huge!") seemed wrong, and I didn't want an awkward pause, so I quickly scrambled for what I like most about her ring, and that's what came to mind -- that it had kind of a peaceful, zen-like feel to it.
In retrospect I wish I had thought to say "Wow it's beautiful! Congratulations!" (who can be offended by "wow' and "beautiful"?) but I was winging it and she got "so nice" and "peaceful".
Another possibility is that I didn't put enough oomph into my verbal enthusiasm as she was hoping (As an introvert, I generally don't show as much verbal oomph as a lot of girls. She's known me for forever so she should know that). But I'm sure I didn't sound sarcastic or negative.
"Peaceful"... if someone said this about your ring...would you feel offended? How could it be taken as an insult, any ideas?
I said it was "so nice", and that it looked "peaceful." She seemed offended/confused. Not sure why but trying to backpeddle out of offending her, I hastily added that "it gives me a peaceful, zen like feeling, just looking at it, because of the design" hoping that would clear up any misunderstanding. She still seemed unimpressed with this, but we moved on to talking about the proposal/wedding.
Anyway, I've been feeling guilty about this ever since, and also confused. Is "peaceful" a euphemism for "not-so-great"? Because that's not how I meant it.
To be honest, the ring kind of surprised me, only because she is very wealthy (much more so than I) and her boyfriend does alright for himself as well, and she likes to be fashionable... so I was expecting something much more gaudy. It was a smallish (for my expectations of her), round stone, set recessed into a plain wide band to be level with the surface (sorry, I'm sure there is a proper term for it.) No other adornment.
I was surprised... not judgmental - I am not a size queen, and honestly I was impressed with her that she didn't think gaudiness was vital (she was obviously thrilled with it even though they could have easily afforded a much huger honker). And I didn't show surprise, either... I've got a good poker face and I was looking at the ring, not her face, anyway. But the first appropriate compliment that came to me to say about someone's ring ("it's huge!") seemed wrong, and I didn't want an awkward pause, so I quickly scrambled for what I like most about her ring, and that's what came to mind -- that it had kind of a peaceful, zen-like feel to it.
In retrospect I wish I had thought to say "Wow it's beautiful! Congratulations!" (who can be offended by "wow' and "beautiful"?) but I was winging it and she got "so nice" and "peaceful".
Another possibility is that I didn't put enough oomph into my verbal enthusiasm as she was hoping (As an introvert, I generally don't show as much verbal oomph as a lot of girls. She's known me for forever so she should know that). But I'm sure I didn't sound sarcastic or negative.
"Peaceful"... if someone said this about your ring...would you feel offended? How could it be taken as an insult, any ideas?