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Wanting to Propose: Would a CZ be OK for now?

J

jackofdiamonds

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2010
Messages
16
Ok, so here's the situation. I want to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. Problem is that our budget is pretty tight at the moment. What I was planning on doing is actually to get a really nice mounting but with a 1.5ct CZ in the middle for now. When finances allow, we'd reset a real diamond there. Would this be a really awful thing to do to a girlfriend or not? That's my question I guess. The thing is, is that I'm going to be getting a really nice mounting that 's going to cost about 3-4K which I really really like, that I've found from a jeweler I've been speaking to. I'm just thinking that it would be easier to buy a nice mounting and upgrade the stone as opposed to the other way around. What do you guys think?

Thx
Jack
 
We aren't allowed to talk about CZ's here. My question to you is would you tell your GF that it's a CZ?? How would she feel about that? If she's fine with it, then go right ahead.. Will you be able to afford a 1.5 CT diamond down the road??
 
Hi Jack-I think it depends on your girlfriends preferences. There are several vendors who sell diamonds with great upgrade policies, so it would be fairly easy to upgrade the diamond. You can always propose with a simple solitaire setting and then upgrade the setting for an anniversary-that way she has the option to help choose her setting. If you do go with the fancy setting now, you would need to ensure that it could be fitted to an upgraded stone. I personally would choose the real diamond now with a 14k solitaire
 
Oooo. Interesting approach...

Usually, people get the diamond now in a basic white gold setting (say $400-500) and upgrade the setting later. Settings should really be cast to fit the diamond, and moving prongs later can weaken the prongs and / or the rest of the setting because it stresses the metal. So if you were to reset a better stone in the same setting, the upgrade diamond would have to be the same dimensions (length, width, height, depth%, and possibly crown height) as the old diamond to fit in the old setting properly. Finding a good diamond is hard enough IMO, without worrying about l x w x h, etc.

I would get her as much diamond as you can afford now, from a dealer with a 100% upgrade policy (everything you spend now on the diamond, you get back if you upgrade to another diamond from the same dealer). GOG, ERD, and a few other PS merchants have some version of this policy on some of their diamonds. What you spend on the setting is usually not applied toward the cost of the upgraded diamond, which is why it's best to go for a nice (but inexpensive) WG setting if you intend to upgrade.

So basically, with $4k to spend, I'd spend it on the diamond rather than the setting because who knows if you'll find another diamond (or other gemstone) to fit the setting later.
 
Not sure if this is what you're planning, but please don't give her a CZ without telling her it's one. Things like that backfire.

Personally speaking, if it's going to be a while until you get a real diamond to put in the setting, I would much rather get a smaller real diamond that is well within our means and budget, with the idea that we'll upgrade later when we have more money. Or, if a smaller diamond isn't ideal, a fabulous colored stone e-ring, or a blingy band that can double as both e-ring and w-band (and get a more traditional e-ring later).

ETA: If you're set on getting the perfect, more expensive setting now, I'd rather have a gemstone (maybe her birthstone?) put in it than a CZ. She can always take the gemstone out later and make a right hand ring or a pendant when you get the diamond. Waste not, want not ;)
 
Hi, Definitely going to do the full disclosure about the stone not being a diamond.:) My budget is more like 3K range right now. I'm still debating at the moment as to what to do so. I have the mounting picked out, I've even have a nice 1.5ct Diamond that I can pull the trigger on. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and possibly do some kind of financing or something. We'll see. I'm going to have the ring by next week and I'll post in the forums to get you guys' opinion.
 
I would be wary about financing-you don't want to go into debt! you can get a pretty nice sized diamond for 3k with a white gold solitaire setting. I definitely think it's worth considering your options before you make such a large purchase
 
I would definitely not get her a CZ. You can definitely get her a nice ring within your budget. Here are some suggestions:

1) What about getting her an antique ring? These rings are often more reasonably priced than new ones. There are many great vintage ring vendors, but here are a few that people here often buy from

These are in your budget: http://antiqueengagementrings.com/shopping/shopdisplayproducts.asp?page=6

Jewels By Erica Grace has some great well priced antique rings as well and many people here have loved working w/ them:

http://jewelsbyericagrace.com/antique_vintage_and_reproductions_rings

You could also buy a loose stone from them and set in a plain more affordable setting that you upgrade later.

http://jewelsbyericagrace.com/loose_antique_and_estate_diamonds

2) What about buying a gemstone as a center stone (maybe sapphire, or emerald or some other stone she likes) and having it set in a beautiful setting? If you search the colored stones forum on here you can find many examples.

Good Luck!!
 
Please don't finance! You can get a gorgeous ring for your budget without going into debt, and we PSers will be more than happy to help you look! :)

What is the setting that you're set on? Do you have a pic?

For your budget, you can always get her something like this and put it in a plain gold or white gold setting like this or this, and then upgrade the diamond (BGD will let you trade in that diamond) and setting later (I assume you were looking at a round, btw, so apologies if you're not!)
 
Do you have any idea how she feels? It's really better to surprise her with the proposal than the ring. Do not, repeat, do not finance an engagement ring. Three thousand is nothing to sneeze at. You can get a very nice diamond in a simple setting and upgrade later. And don't forget the added cost of insurance.
 
I've already found a ring that I really like. I'm pretty positive that my girlfriend would love it too. It's a split band with a round in the middle. In the middle of the split, it has a small design looks like a flower or something. I saw the ring in real life a few weeks back while I was in L.A. I just got that feeling you know, that this needs to be our engagement ring. I'll try to find the email the designer sent me with its picture to get your opinions.
 
In that case, do you think she'd be open to being proposed to with a gemstone in the setting instead? Maybe in her favorite color? One of my favorite rings on PS is Frekechild's blue spinel in an engraved split shank setting - I think it's a lovely look.
 
jackofdiamonds said:
I've already found a ring that I really like. I'm pretty positive that my girlfriend would love it too. It's a split band with a round in the middle. In the middle of the split, it has a small design looks like a flower or something. I saw the ring in real life a few weeks back while I was in L.A. I just got that feeling you know, that this needs to be our engagement ring. I'll try to find the email the designer sent me with its picture to get your opinions.
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Oh, this just sounds like a baaaaaad idea. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's a lot of money to spend on a setting, without any input from your girlfriend on the style and without any input from her on the idea of a CZ. Have you priced out the cost of 1.5 carat diamonds? Is a 1.5 carat diamond feasible in your budget within a few years? Often couples get engaged with a plan to upgrade the ring in a few years -- and that few years turns into 10 -- or 20! -- because of other priorities, like buying a house, having children, etc.

The only way I would say okay to this plan is if others in your social circle wear CZs, and/or if your girlfriend would rather have a large blingy ring above everything else even if it means not wearing a real diamond.

High Performance Diamonds is where I bought my diamond (which I've upgraded twice) and they do not have a restrictive trade-in policy like some other vendors. All you need to do to trade-in your diamond is to trade it in for a stone that's $1 more. Other vendors require you to spend double what you spent the first time; upgrade 2 out of the 4 C's (carat, color, clarity, cut), so make sure you look at the vendor's upgrade policy -- including the policy of any retail jewelry store you are working with! And check their return policy, too.
 
First congratulations on you imminent proposal. Second, I agree with the majority of the posts and would not recommend using a CZ. I also agree that a budget of $3-4k can you get you a really nice diamond with a beautiful setting. Unless your girlfriend is dead set on the setting you are thinking of buying it would probably work better to spend the majority of your budget on the stone and get a simple setting. You should also take advantage of the several vendors who offer an upgrade on their stones. My first engagement ring cost $4000 for a .4 stone on a simple platinum solitaire setting and that was purchased at a mall with significantly high margins. At any rate, good luck and hope you find what you're looking for.
 
slg47 said:
I would be wary about financing-you don't want to go into debt! you can get a pretty nice sized diamond for 3k with a white gold solitaire setting. I definitely think it's worth considering your options before you make such a large purchase
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yep!! ... :appl:
 
Ooooohh.. I just joined this group today, and the only rule I know for certain is we are not allowed to talk about this stuff.. and with good reason. Are you seriously going ot pick her a ring out of avon catalog for $19.99?? You do want her to say yes right?.. My suggestion is ...Do not do that!!.. Imagine that everytime she shows her friends or someone notices her ring and complements her on her "diamond", she is going to feel like she need to tell them its not a diamond or she will feel like she is lying. That puts her in a bad position and if she is an honest person and does feel that she should correct them when they say she "has a beautiful diamond", think about the sorts of conversations that could follow that. Your setting yourself up to be talked about behind you back, although unintentional, it will happen. And even if she is thrilled that you asked her to marry you and didnt care about the ring at all, she might start to care when she had to lie about it or explain it, and other peoples looks and comments could persuade her as well.. never underestimate the power of persuasion.. I understand if you cant afford the diamond ring you feel she deserves, but how about you buy her a promise ring instead.. with a little chip of a diamond in it.. you can get one for a couple hundred bucks, and you get a better one for her later. (and you really need to not "forget" to get the better one later) If you dont have a couple hundred bucks, or cant save enough in a few weeks to have a couple hundred bucks.. then i would say that you should refocus your energy elsewhere and not worry about asking someone to marry them.. cause nice diamonds are pennies compared to a wedding!!
 
jackofdiamonds said:
Hi, Definitely going to do the full disclosure about the stone not being a diamond.:) My budget is more like 3K range right now. I'm still debating at the moment as to what to do so. I have the mounting picked out, I've even have a nice 1.5ct Diamond that I can pull the trigger on. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and possibly do some kind of financing or something. We'll see. I'm going to have the ring by next week and I'll post in the forums to get you guys' opinion.
Click to expand...
but what about her friends??
 
Financing luxury items is an unnecessary risk, and 3k is a great budget for a lovely (real) diamond ring if that's what she decides she would prefer.

Please, please ask for her input on the ring - remember, she's the one who will be wearing it! And her tastes/desires might be quite different from what you may expect, and what an unwelcome surprise that would be after the fact!
 
jackofdiamonds said:
Hi, Definitely going to do the full disclosure about the stone not being a diamond.:) My budget is more like 3K range right now. I'm still debating at the moment as to what to do so. I have the mounting picked out, I've even have a nice 1.5ct Diamond that I can pull the trigger on. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and possibly do some kind of financing or something. We'll see. I'm going to have the ring by next week and I'll post in the forums to get you guys' opinion.
Click to expand...

As others have said, with a budget of $3k, you can get a pretty decent ring with an ACTUAL, ideal-cut H&A diamond, albeit it will be smaller than 1.5ct. Nevertheless, IMHO, I'd much rather have a .70-.80ct H&A diamond versus a 1.5ct CZ ring. Also, bear in mind that if you pay with a wire transfer, you'll save even more money (~3%). Here are some examples of diamonds within your budget, going from highest to lowest in price:

$2916 - 0.81ct I SI1 Round Hearts & Arrows - http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7619/
$2904 - 0.73ct G SI1 Round Hearts & Arrows - http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7620/
$2509 - 0.7ct G SI2 Round Hearts & Arrows - http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7612/
$2275 - 0.74ct J SI2 Round Hearts and Arrows- http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7288/
$2087 - 0.72ct J VS2 Round Premium Ideal Cut (while not technically a H&A cut, looking at the reflector images, it certainly exhibits distinct H&A patterning) - http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/7456/

Then, as others have suggested, have the diamond set into a simple setting, like this 4-prong solitaire from Brian Gavin Diamonds ($250 for white gold, $575 for platinum) - http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/home/ring-details/?product_id=5342

Think about it, for about $3,000, you not only get a real diamond ring, but a ring that features some of the best-cut rarest stones around. In fact, if you opt for the $2509 stone and wire the money, that brings the price down to $2425, which leaves you with EXACTLY enough for the 4-prong solitaire setting in platinum! So, given your options, a 0.7ct G SI2 Round Hearts & Arrows diamond set in a platinum setting vs. a 1.5ct CZ ring, which would you choose? Now, far be it for me say which you and your girlfriend would prefer, but to me, it's a no brainer.
 
Can you tell us or show us what the setting looks like we may be able to find one that is exactly like it or really close? And at a better price. Then maybe you could have your cake and eat it too. Get a REAL diamond and the setting.

That being said. My FIRST engagment ring my hubby bought the setting and I had a CZ in it for the first year. Then I got my stone on our first anniversary. But I didn't tell anyone that it was a CZ. Really thought it was my business. If I could go back I think I would have rather had the best stone i could in a beatiful though simple setting and then UPGRADED when we could. But like other have said alot of times once you get married other things become more inprtant than jewelry. Kids, homes, ect. I didn't get my upgrade til year 13. I know it is a lot to think about but this is a big decision ao take your time and do what is right for you guys.

We at PS are more than happy to help make sure you get the MOST for your $$$.

:bigsmile:
 
Alright, I got the idea everyone... Just graduated from Uni is all and just started to work.
 
I think that you have a healthy budget for an e-ring given your stage in life. Most women where I live do NOT have rings that cost any more than that. You can geta nice halo mounting for under $1000 then spend $2000 on a lovely diamond in the .70ct range and I/J color with spectacular cut and it will knock her socks off, and be a real jewel.

I personally don't like fakes.
 
jackofdiamonds said:
Alright, I got the idea everyone... Just graduated from Uni is all and just started to work.
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A lot of us can completely relate. There are a lot of young people on this site, myself included. Spending this level of money on something isn't easy. In fact, it's easy to feel like you're just a sucker but the fact of the matter is: These gems are often far more important to women than you or I will ever realize (and a lot of girls have been thinking about them and looking forward to this moment the way you or I might look forward to owning our first nice car) and it's not just the "status" but more the statement that you've made a big financial sacrifice for somebody other than yourself (You could have bought a new car/Xbox 720 whenever that comes out, etc) but, no, you decided to instead put your hard-earned money aside for something selfless that will last well past the point when you're both old and gray.

I'm not a salesman and I'm not trying to guilt you but I have talked about this with a bunch of different guys and I grew up in a house with two older sisters (both of them married in their twenties) so I think I understand both sides a bit better than most people my age. As a result of that I tell you that if you:

a) Get the CZ and don't tell her there's a very good chance she'd be suspicious of the size, dig around and the next big argument you get in she'll pull that out of the woodwork on you, start crying, and a huge portion of trust and respect for you will drop.

b) Get the CZ and tell her but can't deliver the diamond relatively soon... you'll start to wonder what the point of even getting a real one is anyway because you'll feel like the CZ is good enough and tricked most people... You'll start to convince her she doesn't need it. She might even accept that at first because she loves you but deep down it may eat away at her every time she sees another girl she works with having a smaller, but real, diamond ring. Subconsciously, you run the risk of having her questioning your commitment-levl and ability to make sacrifices for her and your future family.

You, me and many other guys might think it's "just a ring" but to a lot of women it means a whole lot more than just that. And you want that thing to be something that she can look at when she's mad/sad and have it cheer her up, not bring her down. Because if your girl's not happy... you won't be happy. A happy wife is a happy life.
 
Hey Jack

I don't think people aren't meaning to sound really harsh, its more that actually $3k is not a bad budget for a stone! I get why you are suggesting a cz because my SO is at uni right now and rather then wait he is going to propose with a cz in a gold setting as a sort of "first ring" but our budget is more like $500. From a girlfriend's perspective, for what it's worth, I am happy with that as I want us to move forward in our relationship even if the finances aren't there, however if he had a $3k budget I would definitely want him to get as beautiful a diamond as he could afford from a store with a great upgrade policy and replace it as soon as we could afford to.

Hope that helps!
 
Oh, by the way, all of the H&A stones at GoodOldGold have a lifetime trade-up guarantee, so if in the future, you can/do have the finances to upgrade, you won't lose anything and the full purchase price of the stone can be used towards the purchase of a bigger stone - something else to consider.
 
Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!
 
rosetta said:
Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!
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My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.
 
gaby06 said:
rosetta said:
Getting a CZ could potentially embarrass your GF when others compliment her engagement ring. There are some types of catty women out there who would secretly love to watch her squirm. Your heart is in the right place, but unless she has asked specifically for a CZ, it's not a good idea at all.

Please find a cheaper setting and a smaller diamond in your budget, and I'm sure she will be proud to wear it. Good luck!
Click to expand...

My friend got a CZ as ER, they are getting the real deal next year. Nobody has made fun of her, the ring actually looks very pretty and a lot of people complement it. Not everybody gets diamond rings and not everybody thinks getting a CZ it's a reason to make fun about. Just a thought.
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While I agree with this- not everyone gets a diamond- some get gemstones, etc.- BUT societal norms- pressure- what have you put the idea of a diamond into every girl's mind & heart (for the most part). While the setting you described sounds amazing, how much will she like it looking down at a 1.5 CZ everyday for...... how long? If you were to say that you could afford it by the time of the wedding - to replace with a 1.5 diamond then I say, ok... explain to her that for the "wedding gift" you and her are picking out a 1.5 diamond to get set into the setting for the wedding day....

If not, don't put her in the positiion to potentially look at the setting for years upon years, wishing the stone matched the quality and beauty of the setting.

BTW, 1.5 ct diamonds are very expensive... think around 10,000.... will you be able to afford that relatively soon as opposed to 10-20 years later.... You will have a wedding and honeymoon..... moving out on your own- rent/buying a place.... then kids come along While your intentions may be to replace the stone soon, life happens in the meantime.

When discussing wedding bands with me- a friend said- "Go with what you want now.... we bought a plain platnium band for 500 because we didn't want to spend the extra money with the wedding and everything else coming up, but decided to replace it with the eternity band I really wanted for our 5 yr anniversary... guess what, 6 years later and no eternity in sight! Do it now". Lesson is, they had the intent to get what she wanted and what he felt she deserved, but didn't choose to spend right now due to expenses from life.... well one house and one baby later and it's not happening any time soon.

Point is- do it right and within your budget now- a nice .7-.8 stone with a nice setting, get a nice wedding band- blingy!- and let life happen, you have the best of intentions to replace with a real 1.5 diamond down the road, but it's a long bumpy road and things come up that you might not plan for... all the while she is staring down at the 1.5 cz that she may or may not be disappointed with.
 
I think the idea of putting a nice gemstone in the Perfect Setting is a good idea. You can find some truly gorgeous inexpensive colored stones out there- check out the colored stones forum, there's a whole huge list of vendors in one of the pinned threads at the top. You can find something much nicer than a CZ for a placeholder stone IMO that way, and for not much more $$.

Also, I really wonder if you could shop around for the setting somewhere else and save a decent chunk of change too. It sounds like it's a fairly popular style and thus, comparison shopping is your friend. It sounds a bit pricey for how you described it, but tough to tell of course w/o details... it could be a designer setting or something of course.
 
If she is OK wearing the CZ for a while, then I don't see an issue going with the nice setting now. That's what I did several years ago. No one knew my "diamond" wasn't real, and I wore it for over 2 years. I was more about the ring as a whole package, and would have hated wearing a soltaire. When it came time to buy the diamond to put in my ring I actually sold the whole thing and bought a different shape.

A colored stone in the fancy setting is also a great option, it might get more respect from friends/family than a CZ, and who knows, she might decide she likes color!
 
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