Waiting on the ring...

[showmethebling]

Hi everyone.

This is my first time on one of these forums. Me boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years. We have been talking about getting engaged, gone as far and ring shopping and figuring out what I want. I have a family jeweler that my family has gone to and trusted for 30 years. To me I want to love my ring for a lifetime and I feel it's important to find someone you trust and will help you pick out a ring that expresses your style. Very early in our relationship my boyfriend expressed that he went to school with my jewelers son (whom he dislikes) and would never give a penny of his hard earned money to this family owned jewelry store. I was kind of willing to chose my battles and give in to him but then the game changed a little bit...

My mother has given my grandmothers 1 ct engagement ring which I'm so excited to have and would like re-set in a setting of my choice. I would really feel most comfortable going to to my jewelers. I already brought them the ring and discussed possible options. Plus I've heard you have to be careful that places don't switch your diamond out for something else. Anyways this diamond means a lot to me as it is a family heirloom... Do I stand my ground and insist that we get this ring made at my jeweler? Or do I respect his decision and try to come up with an alternate option? I'm not sure which one of us is being more ridiculous. I don't want to get in a a huge fight over this. Can someone please shed some like on this situation.

 

[madelise]

#1 rule of PS: never buy from a friend, or family friend.. Family jeweler, etc. They WILL take advantage of your trust.

If your BF doesn't want to spend his money there, he shouldn't have to just because your family has perused them. Don't forget that the engagement ring is JUST AS important for him as it is for you. Don't push him on this. HE's proposing, and letting you choose your setting. Let him choose his jeweler of choice.

Besides, why would you want to blindly go to just ONE jeweler? It would be much smarter to get quotes from multiple vendors, and choose based on those quotes.

 

[madelise]

If you're scared of the diamond being switched out, you should loupe it and find out where the inclusions are. Then loupe it after you get it set again.

 

[mary poppins]

Welcome to the board, showmethebling.

Perhaps you and your boyfriend can compromise. You already have the diamond, you want a different setting, and you need a jeweler to put the diamond in the setting. Perhaps you can get the setting somewhere other than the family jeweler, then have the family jeweler put the diamond in the setting. That way, your bf would be paying the bulk of the money to someone other than the family jeweler, and minimal to the family jeweler. In the meantime, you would have the peace of mind you seek in knowing and trusting the jeweler who is handling your grandmother's diamond. Make sure ahead of time that the family jeweler will set the stone in a setting that was not purchased from him. Some jewelers are finicky about that. Since you and your family already have a relationship with the jeweler, maybe he will be flexible.

In addition to looking for inclusions, as madelise suggested, you could also see if there is a diamond grading report number inscribed on the girdle of the diamond. Depending on the setting you and/or bf choose, the number may be viewable upon setting.

Good luck and let us know how it works out.

 

[pandabee]

Welcome! Agreed with all the advice given previously. I would hope that your family jeweler is a reputable business and would not switch out your ring. However, it definitely would not hurt to get quotes from other jewelers to see if they would be able to do the same job for less or for better quality. It's great that you have an heirloom you can use! Will you share a picture of it currently so we can ogle?

 

[antiquesparkler]

Welcome!

This is tough. I definitely think it’s important to find a jeweler that you trust but at the same time respect your SO’s wishes.

In my experience, it’s hard for some guys to NOT buy the diamond... I inherited a diamond from my grandmother as well and I was (and still am!) so excited to wear it as my engagement ring but my SO was feeling a little strange about the whole thing because he really wanted to buy my ring. To help with that I let him research jewelers and decide where to go for the new setting and luckily he allowed me to choose my setting but the rest was up to him.

I don’t know how your SO is feeling about it but I think it’s important that you compromise and find something that makes you both happy. What if you buy the setting from your family jeweler but your wedding bands elsewhere?

I also totally agree with Madelise, before you bring it ANYWHERE, loupe your diamond and learn its imperfections. I have learned to love the tiny black spot on the table of my diamond- I always know its mine!

Pictures?

 

[SMC]

You and your bf should shop for jewelers together and choose one that you both trust. I don't think that you have to be worried about a jeweler switching out your diamond. Any jeweler you've heard of (or you find on PS with good reviews) won't be willing to put their reputation on the line for one diamond (unless it's like the Hope Diamond or something). Louping it is always good though because you can see right away if there are any damages from the setting process or not. I bought my loupe off Amazon for $5.

I was very involved with my ring creation and selection process but it's only because my bf really cared very little. It seems like yours will be more involved than mine was, and it will be a fun project for you to tackle together!

 

[BriBee]

Welcome showme!

I agree that you and your SO should research jewelers together and pick one that you're both comfortable with. If you don't mind telling people where you live (just give the general area or something) you can post in RockyTalky and see if anyone can recommend some reputable jewelers for you to check out in your area. While I like the idea of buying the setting somewhere and then having your family jeweler set it...if you decide to look into this make sure you talk to the jeweler first because some jewelers don't like to set a stone they did not sell into a setting they did not make/sell, the profit margin just isn't there for them (they have to pay the bills too) so you'll need to look into that first. I also suggest you check out some of the PS vendors on here. Maybe you can find a setting you like and ship your stone to them to be set. You can be confident that PS vendors are trustworthy and would not switch out your stone.

 

[showmethebling]

My grandmothers ring

Here is the picture of my grandmothers ring that you all asked for. The other thing I'm having trouble deciding is if I want to make it a solitair or 3stone. Any suggestions. Thanks.

 

[SMC]

What sort of settings are you considering? I think either would be pretty. Three-stone will provide more finger coverage.

 

[pandabee]

It's a very pretty ring! Have you tried on any settings to see what type you would prefer? Even if you don't go to a jewelry store, if you play around at the mall or a department store just to get a feel of styles that is a good way to start. I think it would be lovely as is, but of course depends on your taste in metal/style.