Verlobungsring - The German Engagement Ring

[SallyBrown]

Im releaved
We have absorbed a lot of Americans culture here in NZ since WW2 ( mostly for the good) but not quite the huge weddings and huge rings
My grandparents would have got engaged durring the depression so not sure if it would have been two months wages for my grandad, but its small by PS standards (and dwarfed by mum's 1960s ER ring) its still a similar size to a lot of rings that some people have today, i feel bad looking at it and suffering the dreaded PS diamond shrinkage
I also don't know a single person who has ever upgraded here

I have a German freind who was a small girl at the end of WW2, she can remember how her family literly had nothing for quite a long time while she was growing up
ER's are not necessities when your kids don't have enough food in their bellies
I wonder if the world wars and the depression were at least partially the reason why DeBeers marketing didn't seem to make much inroad into the European market ?
Here (and i would also think in America) people at home had a very different war to the ordinary people of Europe

Excellent point about the war, @Daisys and Diamonds! I hadn’t thought about that.

 

[SallyBrown]

What is a typical American size diamond for engagement rings anyway? Or does it very much differ by state/city/town etc?

It definitely varies by big city vs. small town. I’m not sure what the average size in the U.S. is - I’ve seen a lot of different statistics.

 

[pearaffair]

Im releaved
We have absorbed a lot of Americans culture here in NZ since WW2 ( mostly for the good) but not quite the huge weddings and huge rings
My grandparents would have got engaged durring the depression so not sure if it would have been two months wages for my grandad, but its small by PS standards (and dwarfed by mum's 1960s ER ring) its still a similar size to a lot of rings that some people have today, i feel bad looking at it and suffering the dreaded PS diamond shrinkage
I also don't know a single person who has ever upgraded here

I have a German freind who was a small girl at the end of WW2, she can remember how her family literly had nothing for quite a long time while she was growing up
ER's are not necessities when your kids don't have enough food in their bellies
I wonder if the world wars and the depression were at least partially the reason why DeBeers marketing didn't seem to make much inroad into the European market ?
Here (and i would also think in America) people at home had a very different war to the ordinary people of Europe

Interesting observation!

I would also suggest that as far as Parisian fashion goes (something I enjoy reading about) - the goal is to look effortless. Perhaps massive rings do not suggest effortless

 

[pearaffair]

What is a typical American size diamond for engagement rings anyway? Or does it very much differ by state/city/town etc?

I’m in Canada and it can differ a lot by region but generally most will fall within the 0.3ct-1ct range.

 

[pearaffair]

Exactly. My DH gave me a two carat (vintage) diamond for the birth of our first child. I hardly ever wore it because it felt strange and way too huge (I got over it by now, he he). A bit after I went to Florida to visit my friend and I brought my ring because I knew it would be - for once - in good company. At a dinner party this lady pointed out my ring and said: oh goodness, your ring is so cute! I laughed so hard - different worlds indeed.

Lol what a great story! A “cute” 2ct ring! Omg. I’d love to see a pic!

 

[pearaffair]

I remember going to Canada (from the UK) in the mid 80’s for a work placement. All the female residents in the hospital were sporting huge solitaire diamonds in flashy settings, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Knowing how much diamonds cost in my home town, I was amazed anyone could afford them! Or get access to them. Even my fairly modestly off Canadian family (second and third cousins I met for the first time that year) had a daughter who’d just received a 1.5ct stone. Most of the ERs I’d seen up until then made use of much smaller stones in 3 stone or cluster rings. And there are certainly very few “heirloom” stones that people are inheriting here now so this must have been going on for some generations.

I see nice rings on doctors but I mean if you’re married to a doctor or becoming one yourself your budget will be healthier than most of your peers!

 

[Begonia]

I’m in Canada and it can differ a lot by region but generally most will fall within the 0.3ct-1ct range.

Right? My .7 ct is spot on. Anything over a carat would raise eyebrows and invite comments, mostly nice but...

 

[AprilBaby]

I think a majority of American rings are under 1 ct but what you see here is not typical. Most women don’t care that much about diamond specs. Remember lots of the younger women in America have moissanite rings for size. The big rings you see on here are usually older women or higher earning couples. I personally don’t know a single person who got over 1 ct mined diamond for their first ring.

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

My mother in law is Portuguese and they don’t do the big ER’s. she had a very understated pearl.
They don’t expect anyone to be able to afford anything extravagant and going into debt for something like that is not an option.
She thought my ring was waaaay over the top and my partner (her only son) was smart enough to not tell them he was doing it.
It did cost him two months salary (probably three months at the time) considering what we earn now compared to then. We were lucky though and had traded some shares for cash which had tripled in value so he cashed in the shares and walked across the street from the bank and walked the cash on the counter at the jewlery store. He was able to buy the ring for $2000 less just because he had the cash in front of him.
I still can’t believe he bought it all these years later.
We never actually did the wedding thing. We were on a round the world trip when he proposed.... and I came home three months pregnant! Everytime we have money we chose to use it to travel.
weddings just seem like a huge waste of money to us.
I did attend the most incredible wedding ever in Portugal last year so .... you never know - lol

 

[chemgirl]

I remember going to Canada (from the UK) in the mid 80’s for a work placement. All the female residents in the hospital were sporting huge solitaire diamonds in flashy settings, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Knowing how much diamonds cost in my home town, I was amazed anyone could afford them! Or get access to them. Even my fairly modestly off Canadian family (second and third cousins I met for the first time that year) had a daughter who’d just received a 1.5ct stone. Most of the ERs I’d seen up until then made use of much smaller stones in 3 stone or cluster rings. And there are certainly very few “heirloom” stones that people are inheriting here now so this must have been going on for some generations.

Interesting because I live in Toronto and it’s rare to see anything that size. A few friends have 1.0 ct and my 1.6 ct makes heads turn.

Maybe we’ve downsized?

 

[pearaffair]

Right? My .7 ct is spot on. Anything over a carat would raise eyebrows and invite comments, mostly nice but...

Agreed.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Interesting because I live in Toronto and it’s rare to see anything that size. A few friends have 1.0 ct and my 1.6 ct makes heads turn.

Maybe we’ve downsized?

Maybe! It was Toronto, though. Now I think about it, there were a few Princess cuts in there too, I’d never seen them before either.

 

[chemgirl]

Maybe! It was Toronto, though. Now I think about it, there were a few Princess cuts in there too, I’d never seen them before either.

Princess cuts were big here in the 90’s.

Culturally though we don’t tend to go for giant diamonds. University friends were engaged with 0.5 to 0.75 ct with most considering a 1.0 ct to be big. My 1.6 ct gets talked about in public. I’ve been at events where strangers approach me to ask about it. I also get a lot of comments about being rich when I’m not.

There isn’t much choice when it comes to cut either. Round or princess seems to be the norm. I had to bring my cushion to 4 different jewellers for appraisal before I could find one who recognized a cushion cut. That was only last year!

Sorry to be so argumentative, your earlier comment was just so surprising to me. I’m in my mid 30’s in the Toronto area and I almost never see large diamonds. Three friends in high paying careers were married this year and none of the rings were over a carat.

 

[inne]

Princess cuts were big here in the 90’s.

Culturally though we don’t tend to go for giant diamonds. University friends were engaged with 0.5 to 0.75 ct with most considering a 1.0 ct to be big. My 1.6 ct gets talked about in public. I’ve been at events where strangers approach me to ask about it. I also get a lot of comments about being rich when I’m not.

There isn’t much choice when it comes to cut either. Round or princess seems to be the norm. I had to bring my cushion to 4 different jewellers for appraisal before I could find one who recognized a cushion cut. That was only last year!

Sorry to be so argumentative, your earlier comment was just so surprising to me. I’m in my mid 30’s in the Toronto area and I almost never see large diamonds. Three friends in high paying careers were married this year and none of the rings were over a carat.

I have lived in or just outside Toronto for a while now and I see a lot of bigger rings. I never get any comments on the size of mine and my sister-in-law—the most unassuming person I know—has a 1.4 or 1.5ct. The women whose ring 'stories' I know typically have rings they and/or their partner custom designed using all sorts of cuts. My newly engaged friend has the most beautiful 3-stone emerald cut I've ever seen!

Of course, one of the great things about Toronto is its cultural diversity (so many immigrants! part of why I feel at home), so there are people with all kinds of attitudes about these things. But things also change very quickly as soon as you get outside the city (and where outside). It feels much more difficult to pinpoint an overall Canadian cultural norm to me. Even Toronto 20 years ago feels like a different planet than Toronto in 2020.

 

[chemgirl]

I have lived in or just outside Toronto for a while now and I see a lot of bigger rings. I never get any comments on the size of mine and my sister-in-law—the most unassuming person I know—has a 1.4 or 1.5ct. The women whose ring 'stories' I know typically have rings they and/or their partner custom designed using all sorts of cuts. My newly engaged friend has the most beautiful 3-stone emerald cut I've ever seen!

Of course, one of the great things about Toronto is its cultural diversity (so many immigrants! part of why I feel at home), so there are people with all kinds of attitudes about these things. But things also change very quickly as soon as you get outside the city (and where outside). It feels much more difficult to pinpoint an overall Canadian cultural norm to me. Even Toronto 20 years ago feels like a different planet than Toronto in 2020.

Ok interesting! Most of my friends are trying desperately to jump into the real estate market so that might have something to do with it. Buying downtown right now is no joke.

Maybe it depends on which area as well, I live closer to Etobicoke and most of my friends are still renting condos downtown.

I grew up in Northern Ontario and that’s a completely different world.

With anything it probably comes down to specific area. I never considered Canada to be the land of bling and we tend to see much bigger diamonds when we visit family in the UK. At the same time, I’m sure I’ve heard posters here mention smaller rings being the norm in Britain so who knows.

 

[inne]

Ok interesting! Most of my friends are trying desperately to jump into the real estate market so that might have something to do with it. Buying downtown right now is no joke.

Maybe it depends on which area as well, I live closer to Etobicoke and most of my friends are still renting condos downtown.

I grew up in Northern Ontario and that’s a completely different world.

With anything it probably comes down to specific area. I never considered Canada to be the land of bling and we tend to see much bigger diamonds when we visit family in the UK. At the same time, I’m sure I’ve heard posters here mention smaller rings being the norm in Britain so who knows.

My mother-in-law is from Northern Ontario too - 4 hours north of Thunder Bay - and you're not kidding about it being a different world! The range of experiences here is wild.

 

[Snowdrop13]

Princess cuts were big here in the 90’s.

Culturally though we don’t tend to go for giant diamonds. University friends were engaged with 0.5 to 0.75 ct with most considering a 1.0 ct to be big. My 1.6 ct gets talked about in public. I’ve been at events where strangers approach me to ask about it. I also get a lot of comments about being rich when I’m not.

There isn’t much choice when it comes to cut either. Round or princess seems to be the norm. I had to bring my cushion to 4 different jewellers for appraisal before I could find one who recognized a cushion cut. That was only last year!

Sorry to be so argumentative, your earlier comment was just so surprising to me. I’m in my mid 30’s in the Toronto area and I almost never see large diamonds. Three friends in high paying careers were married this year and none of the rings were over a carat.

No probs! In 1987 everything was big and blingy here in the U.K., massive shoulder pads, excess in everything etc etc. Maybe it was just that group of residents (all ob/gyn and anaesthetics) all trying to outdo each other!

Loved Canada, by the way x

 

[chemgirl]

No probs! In 1987 everything was big and blingy here in the U.K., massive shoulder pads, excess in everything etc etc. Maybe it was just that group of residents (all ob/gyn and anaesthetics) all trying to outdo each other!

Loved Canada, by the way x

That makes perfect sense. My friends in the medical field are all trying to pay their student loans. Hopefully they enter the bling stage stage soon!

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I was curious and looked up avg. ring sizes in the US and what I found was that the majority of money spent depending on region doesn't exceed 6k (for middle income earners) for stone and mounting with the amount slowly trending down. People are spending less and I wonder at a possible cultural shift happening along with a necessity factor. Upgrading is also quite rare. Rings are also more frequently utilizing alternative stones. Anything over a carat in natural diamond is still notable in the vast majority of the country.

 

[Lucia Berliner]

Hi there, it is almost a year from the last reply to now.

I am reflecting to the original post as a wifey of a German husband.

I have Eastern European roots, many friends of mine there are sitting on the ER money flush or buy fake ones.

My ex husband was buying me a big rock when we moved to the states to fit in. It was very typical that you made ring contact before eye contact. And I HATED it. People judged and categorized by size.

We divorced and I got rid of the ring. I always loved the cute German bands and modest European sizes. Google some European celebs (Dutzent Kroes f.e) they are NOT really into big rocks.

I got for my second marriage a very cute artistic ring and I adore it much more over my big rock. Besides I got a big Pearl ring for flashing on dressy events.

I could not be happier.

Also we spent reasonable and I drive a Benz and we live in an almost payed home.

I am much more aligned with these priorities than showing off with a ring.

 

[HS4S_2]

I was born in Germany (American father and German mother) and my husband is from France. The European people in general have very modest engagement rings. When I visit I have felt uncomfortable with attention from family members. It just isn't standard to change rings or upgrade either.

 

[Mreader]

I was born in Germany (American father and German mother) and my husband is from France. The European people in general have very modest engagement rings. When I visit I have felt uncomfortable with attention from family members. It just isn't standard to change rings or upgrade either.

That is neat to hear about your background @HS4S_2 - do you speak German fluently as well? I'm not European but sometimes I feel partly so since I work in Europe most summers (before Covid - ugh). And yes I usually see bands and very rarely an e-ring or anything really blingy. I wear my Cartier trinity when I'm over there.

 

[Lucia Berliner]

Yes I speak fluently!

 

[LilAlex]

Also we spent reasonable and I drive a Benz and we live in an almost payed home.

I am much more aligned with these priorities than showing off with a ring.

Status car is more sensible than a status ring? I don't know. Different sides of the same coin, maybe.

 

[Lucia Berliner]

It is not status car here (that would be a Maserati or a an AMG). Just a good quality.

In Germany many people drives German car.

 

[DutchJackie]

I am in the Netherlands and it’s mostly wedding bands. When you’re ready to show that you’re in a committed relationship many couples start wearing simple and often cheap bands. For the wedding it’s a more special set with one or more small diamonds for the women in the band. I added a picture as an example. There are endless possibilities

 

[Lucia Berliner]

Nice ones! Yes all is possible, and it is personal preference!

My ring is with lab grown stones from sustainable diamond factory.

We have just different priorities, I love the minimalist style in ring and general. There is nothing wrong with different tastes and opinions!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

This thread was interesting to read! I find it quite cool how perceptions vary so wildly depending on where you live.

I also think it’s really funny that though all my married/engaged European friends have rings that are more understated than the other nationalities (either no ring, just a band, or if a solitaire it’s between 0.5-1ct I would say); my one friend who presented his now wife with a larger ring (I think it was around 1.6 or 1.7, I can’t remember exactly) is German. Her ring gets some eyebrows around town, but she LOVES it. The largest ring I have seen on a European woman in real life is probably around 2.75-3ct - which is quite substantial, but I have definitely seen bigger rocks and she could have DEFINITELY purchased a bigger one. She just felt uncomfortable with something bigger.

 

[Austina]

In the UK the average size ER is apparently .25pts. I didn’t even have an ER, and although I had a wedding band, I didn’t wear it. One friend had a sapphire ER the other had diamond, probably 25pts, both still wearing their original rings. Upgrading isn’t a thing here, one friend did buy a half carat solitaire from me that I got at auction and it looks huge on her tiny fingers. Her daughter has a half carat ER and her DIL has a 1ct emerald cut also on a tiny finger. I doubt either of them will ever think about upgrading.

People do stare at Bella and probably think she’s not real

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

I have a relative who married into a very prominent Dutch family. No flashy jewelry at all except her MIL wears some, but she was an entertainer and used to bling. I always found it interesting because you'd never know they are famous. They look average. It certainly takes the pressure off everyone asking to see your rings!