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Verlobungsring - The German Engagement Ring

SallyBrown

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
332
So I was just on IG checking out some Verlobungsring (German engagement rings). Because I have no life. Anyway, I was suprised at how small the stones are in these rings. I have heard that the average size is about 1/10 carat from a German student I knew.

Are there any Germans on PS? If so, what do you think is the average carat size of a German engagement ring? And what is the German engagement/wedding ring tradition? I always like to hear from PSers from other countries!

 

GliderPoss

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I definitely think it's more "low key" in Europe. My sister married a Dutchman and her e-ring is I think only 0.20ct but with perfect stats. He was far more focused on quality than quantity. She said it was easily comparable amongst her colleagues & friends there, in fact many women never receive a e-ring at all - just the wedding band! She said anything showy/ostentatious is considered bad taste...
 

SallyBrown

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Oct 2, 2020
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I definitely think it's more "low key" in Europe. My sister married a Dutchman and her e-ring is I think only 0.20ct but with perfect stats. He was far more focused on quality than quantity. She said it was easily comparable amongst her colleagues & friends there, in fact many women never receive a e-ring at all - just the wedding band! She said anything showy/ostentatious is considered bad taste...
Interesting @GliderPoss. I wonder then about RHRs, earrings, necklaces, etc. If those tend to be less showy than what Americans wear as well. I’ve travelled through Europe, including the Netherlands, several times but never really paid much attention to what women from specific countries wore. I was more focused on finding jewelry stores to browse when I wasn’t hitting up the museums. :)
 

kenny

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People vary.
 

kipari

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Yes, @GliderPoss is spot on!

In western / northern Europe anything showing off your wealth is a fine line to tread. I'd also say that jewelry is much less important than in many other cultures that I've been confronted with. No showering the bride with jewels e. g. or much less fine jewelry for distinct occasions.

I'd say 0.2 carats is a common solitaire size and engagement rings are not a "must" when getting engaged. Some people get a plain wedding band for their engagement which they switch from their left the to their right hand after the wedding.

However, this very much depends on where you are coming from and your social circle. All my female family members back to my great grandmothers from both sides of my family have received engagement rings. My mom got a small diamond solitaire from my dad. All my friends got engagement rings. I totally expected a ring. Sizes are more between 0.5 -1. 2 carats where I used to live (big city).
Quality is supposed to be as perfect as possible, but diamonds are often bought mounted at maul type stores and certs are not always available. Think Jared's etc.
Fancy shapes? Forget about it.
I wanted an oval and it was impossible to get a decent oval around 1 CT other than at Cartier for 4 x the price,

My now DH bought it in the US.

That's how I found PS: absolutely no selection of fine jewelry where I lived and people generally not caring / taboo to speak about it without coming across as gaudy or a show off.

Upgrading is basically unheard of, btw. The concept just doesn't work with the general mindset. One can have bigger rings later on in life, but switching out the stone of the original Verlobungsring is not happening. Most men (all I've ever had that discussion with personally, anyway) would feel very hurt.
 
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Alex T

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Oct 24, 2012
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I am in the UK & even here, whilst we are getting a bit braver with the bigger diamonds, engagement rings tend to be smaller & we don't upgrade. At all. Unless there is theft or loss etc. When i got my pear cut many years ago (1.02ct) it was the biggest diamond my family & friends had ever seen, though not unexpected given my interest in gems & a now husband who understood that & wanted for knock my socks off.

I have 2 close friends who married Finnish guys. They were both proposed to (much to their shock!) with plain platinum bands. They were both obviously expecting diamonds, but that's not really tradition in Scandinavia. When they married, one friend got an understated half eternity ring as her wedding ring & wears them stacked, the other insisted on her wedding ring being a 1ct solitaire. The family of the guy who had to fork out for the solitaire made comments about my friend being flashy, vain & not a good fit. Needless to say they were not close to her & the marriage, for many reasons, ended in divorce.
 

Roselina

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Feb 1, 2020
Messages
586
When my Western Europe DH proposed, he did so with a IF F 0.5 ct ring and it felt huge. He only did that because he knew my love for jewellery. It was not so common to propose with a ring at all then. That changed a bit now and girls “expect” to get a ring. Like many other American traditions this found it’s way to Europe. But nothing like 1/3 of ones income for the ring (which I honestly also think is silly). It still has less meaning here I guess. Otherwise it just depends on one’s personal taste and social circle. There are certainty many European women out there with big big rocks and beautiful jewellery far from understatement. But it’s usually not engagement related. I also would never “upgrade” my ering. I received other rings and wear them on my left hand but my ering is my ering. Quite European I guess.
 

Lessics

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I'm german and in almost every social circle it's about 0.2- max. 1 ct. From middle class to high networth individuals. Bigger stones get common if the german couple have a lot of international friends or went abroad for university so the woman could develop a different set of “expectations” ;-)
 
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Polished

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From a marketing point of view I think the emphasis is on tempting people with something where tradition might dictate a simple gold band as being all that is necessary.

To my mind the product is tempting. The small diamond has been paired with some very lovely, dainty, well executed settings:

 

SallyBrown

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Oct 2, 2020
Messages
332
From a marketing point of view I think the emphasis is on tempting people with something where tradition might dictate a simple gold band as being all that is necessary.

To my mind the product is tempting. The small diamond has been paired with some very lovely, dainty, well executed settings:

These are engagement rings are so cute! There are so many differences between this company’s home page and the ones of U.S. companies. Here’s a quote:

”As a budget, the sum between half a month and a net month’s salary is a great general guide. We consider the three months’ salary guide which is common in America to be a fairy tale.”
:lol::lol::lol:
 

SallyBrown

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And here are their bestsellers:


My German aunt, who really took pride in her frugality and bought everything in her house from garage sales, wore only a simple gold band.
 
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inne

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Sep 12, 2019
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130
I am Swedish and engagement rings have historically been plain bands or very very small solitaires. My mom is in her 60s and her engagement ring is like a little diamond speck. My grandmothers both had plain gold bands. It is changing - more people are getting "American style" rings - but I doubt it will ever be like in the US, partially because getting engaged/married isn't really the same sort of extravaganza type of thing. Now that I think about it, I hardly know anyone who was proposed to in the way people are in the US. Everything around engagement and marriage is quite different in my experience.
 
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SallyBrown

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Oct 2, 2020
Messages
332
I am Swedish and engagement rings have historically been plain bands or very very small solitaires. My mom is in her 60s and her engagement ring is like a little diamond speck. It is changing - more people are getting "American style" rings - but I doubt it will ever be like in the US, partially because getting engaged/married isn't really the same sort of extravaganza type of thing. Now that I think about it, I hardly know anyone who was proposed to in the way people are in the US. Everything around engagement and marriage is quite different in my experience.
It is so nice to hear about the engagement/marriage traditions of other cultures. We Americans can be in our own little worlds sometimes. Thanks for sharing!
 

inne

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It is so nice to hear about the engagement/marriage traditions of other cultures. We Americans can be in our own little worlds sometimes. Thanks for sharing!
I lived in America for part of my childhood and when I visit the US I know my 1.67ct ring is nothing remarkable, but when I go back to Sweden I feel like I'm some sort of outrageously bejewelled woman :)
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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I am Swedish and engagement rings have historically been plain bands or very very small solitaires. My mom is in her 60s and her engagement ring is like a little diamond speck. My grandmothers both had plain gold bands. It is changing - more people are getting "American style" rings - but I doubt it will ever be like in the US, partially because getting engaged/married isn't really the same sort of extravaganza type of thing. Now that I think about it, I hardly know anyone who was proposed to in the way people are in the US. Everything around engagement and marriage is quite different in my experience.
Im releaved
We have absorbed a lot of Americans culture here in NZ since WW2 ( mostly for the good) but not quite the huge weddings and huge rings
My grandparents would have got engaged durring the depression so not sure if it would have been two months wages for my grandad, but its small by PS standards (and dwarfed by mum's 1960s ER ring) its still a similar size to a lot of rings that some people have today, i feel bad looking at it and suffering the dreaded PS diamond shrinkage :lol:
I also don't know a single person who has ever upgraded here

I have a German freind who was a small girl at the end of WW2, she can remember how her family literly had nothing for quite a long time while she was growing up
ER's are not necessities when your kids don't have enough food in their bellies
I wonder if the world wars and the depression were at least partially the reason why DeBeers marketing didn't seem to make much inroad into the European market ?
Here (and i would also think in America) people at home had a very different war to the ordinary people of Europe
 

Roselina

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Feb 1, 2020
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586
These are engagement rings are so cute! There are so many differences between this company’s home page and the ones of U.S. companies. Here’s a quote:

”As a budget, the sum between half a month and a net month’s salary is a great general guide. We consider the three months’ salary guide which is common in America to be a fairy tale.”
:lol::lol::lol:
Sorry, I got this wrong in my post. I knew it was something with 3... 3 months salaries. And yep, I think it is silly.
 

Roselina

Brilliant_Rock
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Feb 1, 2020
Messages
586
I lived in America for part of my childhood and when I visit the US I know my 1.67ct ring is nothing remarkable, but when I go back to Sweden I feel like I'm some sort of outrageously bejewelled woman :)
Exactly. My DH gave me a two carat (vintage) diamond for the birth of our first child. I hardly ever wore it because it felt strange and way too huge (I got over it by now, he he). A bit after I went to Florida to visit my friend and I brought my ring because I knew it would be - for once - in good company. At a dinner party this lady pointed out my ring and said: oh goodness, your ring is so cute! I laughed so hard - different worlds indeed.
 

chemgirl

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Sep 16, 2009
Messages
2,207
These are engagement rings are so cute! There are so many differences between this company’s home page and the ones of U.S. companies. Here’s a quote:

”As a budget, the sum between half a month and a net month’s salary is a great general guide. We consider the three months’ salary guide which is common in America to be a fairy tale.”
:lol::lol::lol:
Is the 3 month salary thing common? Is that before or after tax?

It’s just hard to believe. I attend conferences with Americans and I don’t recall ever seeing anything that would fall into that price range.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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Messages
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Is the 3 month salary thing common? Is that before or after tax?

It’s just hard to believe. I attend conferences with Americans and I don’t recall ever seeing anything that would fall into that price range.
Ok im not in America, but i always
thought it was 2 months salary

It might just be marketing but i don't think its a bad guide

I wish mum was still around to ask -
her ring definatly looked bigger than 2 (or 3 months) of my dad's 1963 apprentice wage

Over the 18 years my other half and i were both working i would have been happy to contribute my 2 months to get a bigger ring
alas it never happened
 

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
544
Is the 3 month salary thing common? Is that before or after tax?

It’s just hard to believe. I attend conferences with Americans and I don’t recall ever seeing anything that would fall into that price range.
I think it's just a De Beers marketing campaign that really took. There's no hard and fast rule that it was to be 3 months, especially nowadays when young couples are paying off their student loans, buying a house and getting married etc.

"In the 1930s, the marketing masters at De Beers created the idea that one months’ salary was the magic number for an engagement ring. Sometime in the 1980s, this grew to two months’ salary, and the supposed standard today lies somewhere around the three-month mark."
 

Snowdrop13

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I remember going to Canada (from the UK) in the mid 80’s for a work placement. All the female residents in the hospital were sporting huge solitaire diamonds in flashy settings, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Knowing how much diamonds cost in my home town, I was amazed anyone could afford them! Or get access to them. Even my fairly modestly off Canadian family (second and third cousins I met for the first time that year) had a daughter who’d just received a 1.5ct stone. Most of the ERs I’d seen up until then made use of much smaller stones in 3 stone or cluster rings. And there are certainly very few “heirloom” stones that people are inheriting here now so this must have been going on for some generations.
 

Alex T

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I remember going to Canada (from the UK) in the mid 80’s for a work placement. All the female residents in the hospital were sporting huge solitaire diamonds in flashy settings, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. Knowing how much diamonds cost in my home town, I was amazed anyone could afford them! Or get access to them. Even my fairly modestly off Canadian family (second and third cousins I met for the first time that year) had a daughter who’d just received a 1.5ct stone. Most of the ERs I’d seen up until then made use of much smaller stones in 3 stone or cluster rings. And there are certainly very few “heirloom” stones that people are inheriting here now so this must have been going on for some generations.
An American that worked here in the UK with me many years back, got engaged with a 1.5ct beautiful solitaire. As she was showing it to me & I was wiping away my dribble, the first thing she said was "obviously this is just a small starter & we intend to upgrade a couple of times over the next few years....." I was like, WHAT???! :-o My brain, being English, was completely stunned at the fact that this beautiful ring wasn't received as I expected it should have been, but was considered more as the first stepping stone of many to a bigger rock, rather than being loved & cherished forever.
 

Yelena

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Aug 7, 2019
Messages
408
Most of my European relatives only wear plain gold bands to signal that they are married. Any other rings that they wear are usually dress rings that they have acquired at a later stage. They also usually wear necklaces and earrings as well. So they do wear jewellery, just not engagement rings.

I also think that women in Australia don’t wear large diamonds or lust after large diamonds in the same way that they do in the US. Sure our diamonds are bigger than they are in Europe, but I think they are a bit smaller than in the US. I think there is a little bit of distaste in the Australian culture for people who are too flashy. The largest diamond that I have ever seen IRL was on the finger of an American woman who was married to an Aussie.
 

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
544
I also think that women in Australia don’t wear large diamonds or lust after large diamonds in the same way that they do in the US.
Yeah from my friendship circle in Australia with friends who have got engaged and married over the last few years, their rings are around 0.8-1.5ct max. With the majority between 0.8-1ct. Although since its their first ring which is pretty recent, I can't say they'll upgrade. I'm the only one I know that is getting an "upgrade" but I never got a diamond engagement ring first.

At work (hospital/healthcare), it's rare to see anything above 2ct but there's a few of them around. But nothing larger than that.
 
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