Wedding Venue nightmare update...

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/30/2008 5:26:39 PM
Author: Gypsy
Oh honey. Please please listen to me.


You are marrying the love of your life. Even if a freak tornado blows through the middle of the library in the middle of your reception, nothing will change the enormity and wonder of that. As long as everyone is healthy everything WILL be alright. So please, keep things in perspective, DO NOT let someone so miserable and unworthy affect your health and impact your life in such an a a way. She''s not worth it. And even if you DO get her removed (by whatever legal means possible), IF you are a mess about it she STILL WILL HAVE WON. So, please don''t let her win. Please.

I KNOW this is easier said than done. I REALLY DO because I work with a witch every freaking day of the week. But, please do try to the extent that you can to remain calm and picture yourself in your mind''s eye your FI''s face as he sees you walking toward him, wearing that gorgeous bespoke gown, ready to pledge your life and love to him.

Aw Layla, you just about made me cry

You are so, so right and I''ve been trying to hold onto this - I guess I just know that she is the kind of bullying, bossy interfering cow who will do everything possible to get into things.

When I organise events I try to blend into the background as much as possible so everything looks like it happens by magic (rather than me frantically calling the AV people and tearing my hair out), whereas she very much wants to be centre of attention at all times.

Everytime I sit and day dream about that moment, I see her appear to tick someone off for not sitting in the right chair or something! Geez, it''s like one of those nightmare wedding films!

Frankly I don''t care what goes wrong on the day as long as we both turn up, the officiant turns up and everyone has a good time. Most things that go wrong you can look back and laugh about, but her pulling stunts wouldn''t fit into that one.

I really got to the point where I wished like crazy that we had eloped and I had none of this to pull me down.

I am sooooo grateful that I have such a great shrink and that my drugs are working so well. Normally this kind of stress will trigger a major depressive episode, but other than a couple of migraines I''m feeling VERY stable.

With any luck it will be all fixed and sorted in the next couple of weeks and then I can go back to enjoying everything like I was before. She''s already made my wedding go from super-simple and enjoyable to do to somewhat traumatic and I want to get past that and back on track as fast as possible.

FI is being great. He decided not to get involved at all so he can be there for me rather than being equally wound-up. He does ask for updates though (I think it''s his new favourite soap opera

).

You guys have all been great as well - and made me feel that I''m not entirely silly and over-reacting!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/30/2008 6:34:38 PM
Author: Pandora II

Aw Layla, you just about made me cry

You are so, so right and I''ve been trying to hold onto this - I guess I just know that she is the kind of bullying, bossy interfering cow who will do everything possible to get into things.

When I organise events I try to blend into the background as much as possible so everything looks like it happens by magic (rather than me frantically calling the AV people and tearing my hair out), whereas she very much wants to be centre of attention at all times.

Everytime I sit and day dream about that moment, I see her appear to tick someone off for not sitting in the right chair or something! Geez, it''s like one of those nightmare wedding films!

Frankly I don''t care what goes wrong on the day as long as we both turn up, the officiant turns up and everyone has a good time. Most things that go wrong you can look back and laugh about, but her pulling stunts wouldn''t fit into that one.

I really got to the point where I wished like crazy that we had eloped and I had none of this to pull me down.

I am sooooo grateful that I have such a great shrink and that my drugs are working so well. Normally this kind of stress will trigger a major depressive episode, but other than a couple of migraines I''m feeling VERY stable.

With any luck it will be all fixed and sorted in the next couple of weeks and then I can go back to enjoying everything like I was before. She''s already made my wedding go from super-simple and enjoyable to do to somewhat traumatic and I want to get past that and back on track as fast as possible.

FI is being great. He decided not to get involved at all so he can be there for me rather than being equally wound-up. He does ask for updates though (I think it''s his new favourite soap opera

).

You guys have all been great as well - and made me feel that I''m not entirely silly and over-reacting!

Do hold on to it. And tight. I''m very glad that your psychiatrist and your FI are there for you and that this isn''t triggering any episodes (and I''ll admit to being concerned about the toll the stress was taking on you, knowing I myself would be stark raving mad)! She probably IS just that much of a control freak to do something completely innappropriate at the wedding. But at least it will give you guys something to talk to the grandkids about when they are planning their weddings and going nuts.

The stories I could tell you about my boss. Techinically, I''m kinda supposed to invite her to the wedding (unless I get a better job before then!)... but I can''t imagine disliking anyone I''m inviting to the wedding enough to sit them next to her. I''d have to give her a table for one!

I too am either wishing the day would GET HERE ALREADY, or being frustrated that I didn''t fight harder for elopement to a tropical local with rum drinks... large ones. I think it''s natural. Don''t let her traumatize you any more. Even IF the worst happens and the ''cow'' IS at your wedding, you will still get married and have a wonderful life with a loving man.... and she''ll still be a miserable cow stuck in miserable life of her own making.


And. Admittedly, this soap opera, aside from the HUGE toll it is taking on you, is fascinating-- like a car wreck really. She just keeps digging a hole for herself... pretty soon someone is going to bury her in it.

You aren''t overreacting, and we appreciate the updates, and wholeheartedly support the venting. Just take care of yourself, and your family and FI, please.

 

[Pandora II]

PANDORA V THE WICKED VENUE WITCH
EPISODE 4:

My father just called me.

The head of the school where my venue is called him earlier today. The woman my father spoke to last night had gone into see him and told him about the witch''s behaviour with her and with us.

He spent nearly an hour on the phone with him and is horrified at the situation and some of the ''rules'' that she has been setting out. (Like - you can''t use the grand piano in the venue, you have to supply your own - but it can only be delivered at 7.30pm on the day during the meal (the piano has to be set up and tuned!) despite the venue being empty for a week before my wedding).

He wants me to call him tomorrow am about some things I found online about her on other wedding forums. I have carefully not used the venue name here and had a thread removed so that I can''t be found by google. The posts I found are all by other people saying how awful she is.

Then he''s asked if I will come into see him to discuss things - especially vis-a-vis my job as an Events Organiser. I''m going to try and take the day off next Friday and go down there.

I''m to go in a semi-professional capacity rather than to have a rant about her (I come here to do that

) and I''m going to take him a load of brochures, contracts etc that I get from venues I use for work so he can see what a bad deal he is getting and how things should be done. I feel very bad for them. The school is a very good one, the place is incredibly beautiful and should be a doddle to market and yet people are not booking because of her. Also if she does something similar in the future that leads someone not as well-connected to the venue as I am to take legal action, the lawsuit will be against them not her.

Anyway, I am feeling very happy and relieved that he is taking this so seriously - I had wondered if he would protect her and it seems that this is a complete shock to him and he''s very worried.

I have the feeling that other people must have just sucked it up to avoid the upset or antagonising her - my mother wanted to go that route...

All this PS fairy dust is working wonders!

 

[Gypsy]

Ooooooooooh. Things are heating up now. Is it terrible that I''m in pins and needles for episodes 5 and 6???

 

[Stephanie]

That is just wonderful, Pandora! Glad someone is actually sitting up to hear your side (and the other people that have complained about her) of the issue. Her actions will not go unpunished.

 

[bee*]

Best of luck for you meeting! That''s brilliant that he wants to speak to you and sort it out. That woman seems to be so bad at her job.

 

[allycat0303]

What a B*(?&! I can''t believe the nerve of someone wanting to charge you 100$ to move computers. Please. I am glad to hear that something is getting done now. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

You don''t deserve this, keep your cool and try not to let it upset you too much (I want to throttle her for you, so obviously, I am in shock). It''s times like this you need to believe in karma. Karma. Karma. Like the grand piano will drop out the sky and onto her head. Or at the very least she gets fired.

 

[sera]

I'm so glad that you are going to be listened to.

I think it's great you're going in a semi-professional capacity because this will actually help him, so he may listen more carefully. If he listens and takes corrective action, it will not only right a wrong done to you, but prevent it for others and just be better business for him. I hope everuthing works out for you.

Hopefully the plug will be pulled on her power trip!

ETA: I also think it's great he'll be informed about what others are saying about her (and thus his venue).

 

[Selkie]

Good for you for sticking to your guns. Why do I have the feeling you''re going to come of that meeting with a job offer? (HERS!)

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 5/1/2008 6:57:26 PM
Author: Selkie
Good for you for sticking to your guns. Why do I have the feeling you''re going to come of that meeting with a job offer? (HERS!)

LOL, sadly its 2.5 hours from where I live and they couldn''t afford me (well that last bit''s a bit of a lie, but I can dream

).

It''s the sort of job that would be perfect for a semi-stay-at-home mother as they have very few events and 90% of the job could be done from home.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Pandora, I''m so glad things seem to be working out. Keep us posted. That stuff about the piano was surreal - what was the woman thinking of?

Gypsy, did I read that right? You''re supposed to invite your boss? The horrible one? Why? A table for one sounds about right (or get the venue owner to give her the cheque at the end of the evening ha ha).

Jen

 

[lliang_chi]

Date: 5/2/2008 11:14:00 AM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
Pandora, I''m so glad things seem to be working out. Keep us posted. That stuff about the piano was surreal - what was the woman thinking of?


Gypsy, did I read that right? You''re supposed to invite your boss? The horrible one? Why? A table for one sounds about right (or get the venue owner to give her the cheque at the end of the evening ha ha).


Jen

Maybe you can stick her in the closet. "This is the ultra VIP section. You''re so important we don''t want anyone to bother you."

 

[Gypsy]

I''m just not inviting her. I''m not. Going. To. Do. It. And if she gets offended? Oh well.

 

[Pandora II]

PANDORA V THE WICKED VENUE WITCH
EPISODE 5

The headmaster rang me this morning and we had a long chat.

He is horrified and very worried. I was very, very nice to him and said very nice things about the venue itself - which is stunningly beautiful.

He asked me if I felt the relationship between me and the witch had broken down beyond repair, and I said I thought it probably had.

He could not believe the piano situation - ''But the piano is there to be played... why did she say you couldn''t???''

Ditto the photographer and a whole load of other things.

I said I wasn''t the kind of person who would normally make complaints - he said that actually I hadn''t made a complaint as HE had called me.

Yay, that means the witch can''t accuse me of going to the boss behind her back (not that I would care, but it works better for me that she is hauled in without my doing this).

So things are going better than I could have possibly dreamed of.

He said to leave it all with him and that he''s going to contact me over the weekend.

Keep that dust coming - we''re on the home straight.

I think I might just have to buy a new rock to celebrate if she goes.

What would be a suitable ''Demise of the Venue Witch'' reward?

 

[Gypsy]

Dust...
I think a Jeff White Gem would be a suitable reward, personally.

 

[bee*]

Wow-that seems very promising! I''m dying to see what he''s going to do!

 

[Octavia]

Date: 5/2/2008 5:57:46 PM
Author: Pandora II

I think I might just have to buy a new rock to celebrate if she goes.

What would be a suitable ''Demise of the Venue Witch'' reward?

Well, the only thing left when Dorothy''s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East was a pair of ruby slippers...

 

[sera]

Date: 5/2/2008 7:37:54 PM
Author: Octavia

Date: 5/2/2008 5:57:46 PM
Author: Pandora II

I think I might just have to buy a new rock to celebrate if she goes.

What would be a suitable ''Demise of the Venue Witch'' reward?

Well, the only thing left when Dorothy''s house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East was a pair of ruby slippers...

OOH, there ya go- a pair of rubies! You deserve it! Glad to hear he is going to take care of things.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 5/2/2008 5:57:46 PM
Author: Pandora II
PANDORA V THE WICKED VENUE WITCH

I think I might just have to buy a new rock to celebrate if she goes.

What would be a suitable ''Demise of the Venue Witch'' reward?

As soon as I read this, I thought, "something red". And then I read that everyone suggested rubies-so I say a awesome Jeff White ruby.

Yum.

And can I just say that she is going down? She dug her own huge hole and I can''t wait to see her fall into it.

She doesn''t even need a push!

 

[doodle]

okay, Pandora, i''ve been wondering about this all weekend! did the headmaster contact you over the weekend like you said before?? what happened????? is the witch canned?

 

[lliang_chi]

Pandora, let us know what happened over the weekend. We need to ring the bells etc.

 

[Pandora II]

I haven''t heard from him yet, but it is a Bank Holiday here today, so most people are away with family etc.

I will email him tonight though just in case he had my number wrong or something.

I''m not feeling nervous that he''ll do nothing or anything, but I don''t want to hope too much in case I jinx things. I have been thinking of all the nice things I should be able to do if I get a nice normal person.

My worst nightmare is that he just ''talks'' to her. Then I''m left with a witch who now has reason to hate me. I can''t bear the fake niceness that she does as it is...

I''m not sure it''s going to be rubies (I have expensive taste in those

), but it will be ruby coloured I think!