Vent.Sorry.

[Amzizzle]

OK. So my Fiance and I are in the beginning stages of are wedding. We have always had a $1500 budget for my dress,because we have always been planning to pay.

I have tried on a few dresses and found one I keep going back to and the cost is around $1145.I love it! My father who is kind of unreliable and honestly really has never come through with much (I love him,but this is just a fault he has),well he and his wife offered to pay for my dress. I said on the phone it would be around $1100.He didn''t seem to object so I''ve assumed this is ok.

My grandmother (his mother) chimes in about that this is outrageous to spend on a wedding dress,and that I''m not having a REAL wedding so I should just go to a department store like Macy''s and find something there. I am having a small wedding of around 60 people,at a historic garden and B+B in Orlando,Fl. She said "well it''s not like your walking down a long aisle in a church or something so don''t go crazy". Then I told her I was thinking of not wearing a veil (just cause it''s not my style) and she said "Well your not having like some formal wedding and that''s more for those" It''s fine if she disagrees about cost because she sees it as to expensive,and if she disagrees about the veil because she wants me to wear one or whatever.

I''m just sick of hearing that "I''m not having a real wedding" and that''s why I shouldn''t have any of these things. I love her she is like a mother to me,but I think I''m just going to stop talking about these things with her because simply said it just hurts my feelings. If anyone has any advice or just supportive words I''ll take them.Oh and sorry it was so long.

 

[House Cat]

Groom...check.
Bride...check.
Officiant...check.
People who love you...check.

Hmmm...sounds like you''re having a "real wedding" to me!

Now, wear whatever makes your heart soar and don''t let people put a damper on your joy! People always bring their own issues to the table. Remember that always.

 

[JerseyGrl81]

Your wedding sounds like it will be amazing! If it is what you and your fiance want, then don''t let anyone else upset you or put down your choices. I had a wedding on the beach in Bermuda and wore a traditional wedding gown with a veil. I wouldn''t have changed a thing!

 

[dani2142]

Date: 11/28/2009 12:51:53 PM
Author: JerseyGrl81
Your wedding sounds like it will be amazing! If it is what you and your fiance want, then don''t let anyone else upset you or put down your choices. I had a wedding on the beach in Bermuda and wore a traditional wedding gown with a veil. I wouldn''t have changed a thing!

+1 except (-) bermuda and (+) jamaica

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 11/28/2009 12:16:15 PM
Author: House Cat
Groom...check.
Bride...check.
Officiant...check.
People who love you...check.

Hmmm...sounds like you''re having a ''real wedding'' to me!

Now, wear whatever makes your heart soar and don''t let people put a damper on your joy! People always bring their own issues to the table. Remember that always.

ditto. especially since a "real wedding" is really the document from the courthouse!

i just say to my mom (who sounds similar to your grandmother) is "oh. thats an interesting idea! i will have to look into that".
and then never do

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Date: 11/28/2009 12:16:15 PM
Author: House Cat
Groom...check.

Bride...check.

Officiant...check.

People who love you...check.


Hmmm...sounds like you''re having a ''real wedding'' to me!

Now, wear whatever makes your heart soar and don''t let people put a damper on your joy! People always bring their own issues to the table. Remember that always.

YES!

Your wedding will be as real as they come. Attire and locale don''t make a wedding- it''s the BRIDE AND GROOM that are the essential elements!

And $1100 is a pretty gosh darn good deal for a dress. Tell your grandmother to watch an episode of "Say Yes To the Dress"

I''d say to your father, "I''m appreciative and thankful for any contribution, but don''t feel obligated."

 

[tyty333]

I think I would tell her that to her it may not be a real wedding (because its not in a church) but to you it is a real
wedding. You will officially be married when its all over. Is she the kind of person who will respond if you tell her she
is hurting your feelings? Otherwise, stop talking cost/numbers with her (and pretty much everything) so she wont
have anything to say. Its really unfortunate when you want someone''s input but when its constantly negative its just
not worth it.

 

[joelly]

Just because it doesn''t happen in a church, doesn''t make it any less real. I can''t believe the nerve of some ppl calling any wedding not a real wedding. I''m so sorry that this comment is coming from your grandmother.

 

[junebug17]

I re-read your post a few times, and I''m going to offer a slightly different view of your grandmother''s comments...IMO, I don''t think she''s saying your wedding isn''t "real" or an important event, she might be trying to convey that it is somewhat informal since it''s a garden wedding, so some of the traditional, more formal components aren''t neccessary. I don''t think she''s purposely being hurtful, I just think she views your setting as casual, and as such you can tone things down a bit. Now, that said, I think you should do whatever you want! If you want a formal gown with veil, go for it by all means! I''m just saying that she may not mean to belittle your wedding, even though it may be sounding like that to you. Maybe you could talk to her, and explain that even though your wedding will be taking place in a somewhat informal environment, you would still like to do some traditional things to make it really special, and a day you''ll always remember. Or, it might be easier to just not discuss the details with her from now on, that''s up to you. I''m sorry you are hurt by her comments, you shouldn''t have to be put in a position where you have to explain all of your choices. Don''t let her comments bother you, as I said I don''t think she''s intentionally trying to hurt you, she just has a different view as to what this type of wedding should entail.

Her comments remind me of things my mother would say. How old is she? My mom is 84, and has an opinion on EVERYTHING, and let''s me know every one of them. I''ve learned to nod politely, then go ahead and do what I want! Oh, and your dress is reasonably priced, but it may sound like a tremendous amount of money to an older person. I''m still hearing from my mother that a loaf of bread was 10 cents in 1950...sigh...