Vent, and advice needed

[mayerling]

As I've mentioned before, we're in California for a couple of months (5 more weeks to go!) and we live in a crappy place with really noisy upstairs neighbours - who've managed to reduce my 11+ hours-a-night son to a baby that gets woken up multiple times by the noise of furniture moving around, bags dragged across the floor, dog barking etc.

Anyway, given that he doesn't sleep well at night, I'm really concerned with making sure he gets a decent nap. Once a week, they have a cleaner and I guess today is cleaning day. I saw the cleaner when we got back from the park and asked what time she gets off. She said 12. At 12:40 she was still making a lot of noise - understandable, it's the nature of the job. So I went upstairs to ask when she'll be finished as I see no point in putting my son in his crib while she's still making a ton of noise and struggling because he's not able to sleep. I'd prefer to put him down when she's done. So I go upstairs and I ask what time she gets off. She says 12. I say but it's 12:40 now. She says well maybe 1. Why? I say because he needs to sleep. So she proceeds to tell me "it's the job" and to close the door to my face!

I knock on the door and ring the bell multiple times (during which point I can hear talking on the phone, maybe to my neighbours but who knows) and about 5 minutes later she comes back to the door (during this whole time I'm holding my son in my arms). She tells me she's finished and it's the job. She keeps saying it's the job and won't let me explain that the reason I came up was to ask what time she finishes, not to tell her that she's making noise and needs to stop! Seriously, I must have started to explain this at least 10 times in both English and Spanish (and my Spanish is very good) but each time she cut me off to tell me "it's the job", and she slammed the door to my face again!

So now I don't know what to do. Should I tell my neighbours about this? I don't want it to be an issue as there's still 5 weeks to go and if I were to complain about anything it would be about them and the noise they make at 5am, not about the cleaner. But at the same time she may say something (she might have already) and I'm sure she'll misrepresent it as me interfering with her work and telling her she should stop making noise. Help!

 

[zoebartlett]

I wouldn't say anything to the neighbors about this. The cleaning woman was doing her job for them, and I don't see that she was doing anything inappropriate.

 

[mayerling]

You don't think it was inappropriate of her to slam the door to my face before I could tell her that the reason I went to speak to her was to ask what time she'll be finished so I know when to put my baby down for a nap?

 

[CJ2008]

I think I might actually leave a note, so that you get to explain yourself without being interrupted or taking the chance of things escalating.

I'd say something to the effect of...

I'm not sure, but I think there might have been a misunderstanding...

The other day I came up when your cleaner was here to ask what time she gets off so that I could plan on when I could put my son to sleep.

She had told me 12 but at 12:40 she still hadn't finished so I wanted to get an update. I did not at all go up to tell her to stop, or to complain...I realize she's going to make noise while she's cleaning. But I did not want to put him to sleep until I knew she was done for sure since he gets even crankier if he can't sleep all the way through.

But I get the feeling she took my coming up to ask again the wrong way because she interrupted me several times and kept telling me it's the job.

I just wanted you to know what happened straight from me. I wanted it to be clear I had simply gone up to ask her what time she'd be done, even though I realize she probably found it annoying that I asked twice. I do realize it's not your problem or hers when my son can go to sleep or not, I was just trying to do what I can to plan around her cleaning.

Thanks.

ETA - Zoe has a good point in the sense that you're assuming the cleaner said anything to the neighbors...she may not have...but I'm not sure if you'd like to tell the neighbors so they know what the cleaner did...I''ll have to reread your post...but if that's the intention, I'd probably agree with Zoe and not say anything to them...my only reason for saying anything is to try to create LESS tension not more...

 

[mayerling]

Thank you CJ, that's very helpful. I actually considered the note but they have a dog, so I'm not sure when he'll just chew it up or something.

 

[CJ2008]

Thank you CJ, that's very helpful. I actually considered the note but they have a dog, so I'm not sure when he'll just chew it up or something.

Oh. Hmmm...I just think if it's already kind of a tense situation with them a note is the best option...do they have a mailbox? or can you tape an envelope to their door?

OK - I reread your post - sounds like you're just afraid the cleaner may have said something to them...but since you're not sure...

I would actually just ADD something to that effect in the note - like...

She may not have said anything to you about my interaction with her, but just in case, I wanted you to know what happened...I did not want you to think I went up there to tell her to stop. ETA: I hope you can understand. (sorry I keep adding to it, I just keep thinking it MIGHT be an opportunity for you to try to get them to be understanding about the noise!)

 

[zoebartlett]

Mayerling, no, of course I don't think it was polite of the cleaning woman to slam the door in your face. To me though, honestly, telling the neighbors seems a bit like tattling, and I'm not really sure what that would accomplish. I think leaving a note about this or explaining your thinking would just escalate things and I just don't see the point.

Again, the woman was just doing her job, and maybe I'm assuming she felt frustrated in a "I'll be done when the job is finished -- can't put a time on it, please let me continue working" kind of way.

 

[mayerling]

Mayerling, no, of course I don't think it was polite of the cleaning woman to slam the door in your face. To me though, honestly, telling the neighbors seems a bit like tattling, and I'm not really sure what that would accomplish. I think leaving a note about this or explaining your thinking would just escalate things and I just don't see the point.

Again, the woman was just doing her job, and maybe I'm assuming she felt frustrated in a "I'll be done when the job is finished -- can't put a time on it, please let me continue working" kind of way.

Zoe, my question was not about telling the neighbours on her. It was whether I should talk to them to explain that I was not complaining to her, and the reason I went up was to enquire when she'd be finished so I could plan when to put my son down for a nap. Basically, I don't want her to complain to them with her side of the story (which would obviously be a misrepresented version of actual events since she never let me finish what I went up to ask).

 

[CJ2008]

Mayerling, no, of course I don't think it was polite of the cleaning woman to slam the door in your face. To me though, honestly, telling the neighbors seems a bit like tattling, and I'm not really sure what that would accomplish. I think leaving a note about this or explaining your thinking would just escalate things and I just don't see the point.

Again, the woman was just doing her job, and maybe I'm assuming she felt frustrated in a "I'll be done when the job is finished -- can't put a time on it, please let me continue working" kind of way.

Zoe, my question was not about telling the neighbours on her. It was whether I should talk to them to explain that I was not complaining to her, and the reason I went up was to enquire when she'd be finished so I could plan when to put my son down for a nap. Basically, I don't want her to complain to them with her side of the story (which would obviously be a misrepresented version of actual events since she never let me finish what I went up to ask).

Yeah I could understand this - I'd probably be feeling the same way...in case she DID say something...I'd leave a note. I think as long as the note is nice, doesn't say anything more than the minimum (I would not even at all say anything about the door slamming) you can't go wrong with a note.

 

[mayerling]

CJ, thanks again. I've just taped a note to their door.

I suppose I'm just extremely frustrated because we put up with a lot of noise from them (partly because the house is so badly constructed that even walking on a wooden floor sounds like constant stomping to us) as we know it's not worth arguing over a situation that will finish in 5 weeks, only to have this interaction with the cleaner create problems.

 

[Indylady]

You don't think it was inappropriate of her to slam the door to my face before I could tell her that the reason I went to speak to her was to ask what time she'll be finished so I know when to put my baby down for a nap?

I think you seem to have existing animosity toward the neighbors, which was exacerbated by the noisy cleaning woman. I don't think there is anything to say to the neighbors, and think its unlikely she'll say anything to them either. And if she does, what would, or could, they do anyways?

You interacted with her 3 times in the course of her cleaning assignment; she was probably as frustrated as you. She was rude to you, which would have made me upset as well. But, she was there to do a job, and probably wanted to get it done and leave as much as you wanted her to get it done and leave. Her primary duty is cleaning that house and getting paid for it; she probably felt both 1) pressured to finish quickly and 2) distracted from her work when you knocked on her door. She probably shut the door so she could get back to work and just get out of there already. I agree, that was rude. But, if someone that doesn't pay my bills knocked on my office door, while I was working, asking me when I'd be done, I probably wouldn't be very accommodating either.

 

[CJ2008]

CJ, thanks again. I've just taped a note to their door.

I suppose I'm just extremely frustrated because we put up with a lot of noise from them (partly because the house is so badly constructed that even walking on a wooden floor sounds like constant stomping to us) as we know it's not worth arguing over a situation that will finish in 5 weeks, only to have this interaction with the cleaner create problems.

Cool.

I hope the note helps start a dialogue about the noise that is cooperative...

If not - and maybe you won't even get a reply - at least you'll know they have a different side of the story to consider if she in fact did complain to them (it's possible she realized immediately after slamming the door on you that it probably wasn't the best way to act - even if yes, she doesn't owe you anything or any explanations - and may have made your demeanor sound more negative just to make herself look better).

 

[zoebartlett]

Okay, maybe I misunderstood but that's how I read your original post. Still, I don't think I'd bother saying anything. You don't know that she spoke to your neighbors and I still think it could escalate things if you tried to explain yourself.

 

[zoebartlett]

You don't think it was inappropriate of her to slam the door to my face before I could tell her that the reason I went to speak to her was to ask what time she'll be finished so I know when to put my baby down for a nap?

I think you seem to have existing animosity toward the neighbors, which was exacerbated by the noisy cleaning woman. I don't think there is anything to say to the neighbors, and think its unlikely she'll say anything to them either. And if she does, what would, or could, they do anyways?

You interacted with her 3 times in the course of her cleaning assignment; she was probably as frustrated as you. She was rude to you, which would have made me upset as well. But, she was there to do a job, and probably wanted to get it done and leave as much as you wanted her to get it done and leave. Her primary duty is cleaning that house and getting paid for it; she probably felt both 1) pressured to finish quickly and 2) distracted from her work when you knocked on her door. She probably shut the door so she could get back to work and just get out of there already. I agree, that was rude. But, if someone that doesn't pay my bills knocked on my office door, while I was working, asking me when I'd be done, I probably wouldn't be very accommodating either.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way.....but I don't think I would let my kid's sleeping and napping schedule cause friction between short term neighbors. I'd use this opportunity to train my child to be a less sensitive sleeper and put him down to sleep regardless of what's going on around him. I'm a firm believer that if a child is tired, they can sleep through anything! Have you ever seen kids sleep in their strollers at restaurants, amusement parks etc. If they are tired enough, they'll sleep...and this is coming from someone who had has kids within 2 years of each other. There's no way to have a toddler and baby with the same schedule, the baby will sleep more hours than the toddler and learn to sleep with a babbling, noisy older sibling running around

 

[Circe]

I think you've gotten good advice re: the neighbors, so I'll keep mum on that one, but as the mum to another light sleeper ... have you tried a white noise machine? We got one for our son a few months ago, and it's made a difference.

 

[mayerling]

Okay, maybe I misunderstood but that's how I read your original post. Still, I don't think I'd bother saying anything. You don't know that she spoke to your neighbors and I still think it could escalate things if you tried to explain yourself.

She was on the phone when I went up so I don't know what "work" she was in the process of doing; nor do I care. She got off the phone and after the door slammed the first time I heard her repeatedly use my neighbour's name. I don't know if the neighbour was home, if she was calling her to complain or if I just misheard.

Thank you all for your thoughts. It's good to get the perspective of others who share the same culture as my neighbours. Where I'm from it would be extremely rude to make noise, and there would be huge apologies if you were called on it. I suppose here it's a culture of "it's my job, deal with it". I kind of knew this, which is why I didn't go up to tell her to stop, and I was willing to just deal with my son being cranky until she finished so I could put him to bed then.

 

[mayerling]

I think you've gotten good advice re: the neighbors, so I'll keep mum on that one, but as the mum to another light sleeper ... have you tried a white noise machine? We got one for our son a few months ago, and it's made a difference.

I have a white noise machine. There is no way it can disguise the noise that goes on here.

 

[mayerling]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way.....but I don't think I would let my kid's sleeping and napping schedule cause friction between short term neighbors. I'd use this opportunity to train my child to be a less sensitive sleeper and put him down to sleep regardless of what's going on around him. I'm a firm believer that if a child is tired, they can sleep through anything! Have you ever seen kids sleep in their strollers at restaurants, amusement parks etc. If they are tired enough, they'll sleep...and this is coming from someone who had has kids within 2 years of each other. There's no way to have a toddler and baby with the same schedule, the baby will sleep more hours than the toddler and learn to sleep with a babbling, noisy older sibling running around

Interesting. I think there's a misunderstanding here. The noise does not wake him up (at naps - obviously it wakes him up at 5am as it wakes my husband and me up). It does not allow him to go to sleep in the first place. He's not a robot. He's a person. He cannot be "trained" to fall asleep when furniture is being moved around, as I cannot be trained to fall asleep in that situation. If he happens to already be asleep, great! By the way, my husband and I use earplugs since we moved in as it cannot be dealt with otherwise. Unfortunately, we cannot use earplugs with a 23-month-old.

 

[momhappy]

I would have never gone upstairs and confronted the cleaning lady in the fist place. I sort of feel like it's not really any of your business when their cleaning lady is finished with her work on any given day. It's no wonder she shut the door in your face - she was likely offended. I had a neighbor once confront my lawn crew and ask when their work would be completed and yes, my lawn crew told me about it and yes, I was offended/irritated that my neighbor would interfere in their/my business in that manner. I also don't think it's fair to say that it's some sort of cultural thing. The woman was cleaning (doing her job), which has nothing at all to do with your son's nap schedule (or any "cultural" thing). You chose to live beneath someone, which is an acceptance that you will likely have to deal with a certain amount of noise related to those living conditions.
Unfortunately, your issues are quite common when living in a shared space and since you have a toddler, it's probably something that you should have taken into consideration before moving in because like you said, adults can compensate/adapt (like wearing ear plugs), but toddlers can't. If I were you, I'd tough it out (buy a sound machine, etc.). I'm sorry if that sounds harsh - I have children, so I can sympathize with sleep schedules, etc. I do feel bad for the situation that you're in, but you crossed the line when you confronted your neighbor's cleaning lady, IMO. Maybe you could offer your neighbor an apology and a brief explanation if you think that might help to add some clarity to the situation?

 

[jaysonsmom]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way.....but I don't think I would let my kid's sleeping and napping schedule cause friction between short term neighbors. I'd use this opportunity to train my child to be a less sensitive sleeper and put him down to sleep regardless of what's going on around him. I'm a firm believer that if a child is tired, they can sleep through anything! Have you ever seen kids sleep in their strollers at restaurants, amusement parks etc. If they are tired enough, they'll sleep...and this is coming from someone who had has kids within 2 years of each other. There's no way to have a toddler and baby with the same schedule, the baby will sleep more hours than the toddler and learn to sleep with a babbling, noisy older sibling running around

Interesting. I think there's a misunderstanding here. The noise does not wake him up (at naps - obviously it wakes him up at 5am as it wakes my husband and me up). It does not allow him to go to sleep in the first place. He's not a robot. He's a person. He cannot be "trained" to fall asleep when furniture is being moved around, as I cannot be trained to fall asleep in that situation. If he happens to already be asleep, great! By the way, my husband and I use earplugs since we moved in as it cannot be dealt with otherwise. Unfortunately, we cannot use earplugs with a 23-month-old.

Bad choice of wording, I didn't mean "train", but I meant to adapt. Everyone can adapt to their environment. It may not be the ideal sleep situation, but when kids in are in a car, they'll adapt to sleeping in a carseat....just has I've adapted to falling asleep with the lights and the TV on (because dh is still up watching TV). I don't like it, but I deal with it.

 

[CJ2008]

You all make good points for the other perspective.

Just to be clear about how I feel since I seem to be in the minory by suggesting the note and all the other things I said...I agree that:

1. It's nobody's problem but my own if I have a situation - a baby, school, an aging parent - that makes me/my family especially susceptible/bothered by noise.

2. It's none of my business if my neighbor has a cleaning lady come, and when, and what time she leaves. So technically, yes, it could be rude to ask the cleaning lady what time she's going to be done. However, I think sometimes you can get away with these kinds of things by being polite and courteous - you never know what you might get. The cleaning lady might, for example, try to do the vacuuming a little earlier (just an example). Does she have to? Should I expect that she'll change anything? No. But sometimes by asking you get.

3. It sounds like there was already animosity because of all the previous noise situations.

However -

It sounds like Mayerling has not previously said one word to her neighbors about the noise - so they're not aware of any animosity she may feel towards them. So in my opinion she can use this interaction with the house cleaner as a way to open up a dialogue and perhaps appeal to them to see if they can be more aware of the noise.

 

[mayerling]

You all make good points for the other perspective.

Just to be clear about how I feel since I seem to be in the minory by suggesting the note and all the other things I said...I agree that:

1. It's nobody's problem but my own if I have a situation - a baby, school, an aging parent - that makes me/my family especially susceptible/bothered by noise.

2. It's none of my business if my neighbor has a cleaning lady come, and when, and what time she leaves. So technically, yes, it could be rude to ask the cleaning lady what time she's going to be done. However, I think sometimes you can get away with these kinds of things by being polite and courteous - you never know what you might get. The cleaning lady might, for example, try to do the vacuuming a little earlier (just an example). Does she have to? Should I expect that she'll change anything? No. But sometimes by asking you get.

3. It sounds like there was already animosity because of all the previous noise situations.

However -

It sounds like Mayerling has not previously said one word to her neighbors about the noise - so they're not aware of any animosity she may feel towards them. So in my opinion she can use this interaction with the house cleaner as a way to open up a dialogue and perhaps appeal to them to see if they can be more aware of the noise.

Once again, thank you CJ.

 

[mayerling]

Momhappy, I never actually chose to live here. This was a place we found on airbnb (since we only needed a place for two months) and nowhere did it say we'd have upstairs neighbours. If so, I never would have picked it because I know the kind of noise you have to deal with when living in a wooden house. The pictures on the website showed an apartment above a garage - turns out it's their apartment and garage, and our place is behind their garage and under their house. I don't know whether I was allowed to complain to the owner about the misrepresentation, so I've said nothing to him, but he's certainly getting a bad review when this is all over.

As for people doing their job. Noise is noise; it's discourteous not to take into account how loud you're being. People might have to have teleconferences from their house, might be sick and have to sleep, might have babies, etc. Your freedom ends where somebody else's freedom begins. You can't expect somebody to deal with inordinate amounts of noise just because you're in "your house". Your neighbours had every right to ask when your crew would finish (just as I did). They didn't ask you to be done by a certain point, they didn't ask you to cease and desist, they asked because they're willing to work around your schedule. You should appreciate their courtesy. I might be in a band and decide to practice in my house. Should I expect people to deal with the noise? No.

 

[momhappy]

Momhappy, I never actually chose to live here. This was a place we found on airbnb (since we only needed a place for two months) and nowhere did it say we'd have upstairs neighbours. If so, I never would have picked it because I know the kind of noise you have to deal with when living in a wooden house. The pictures on the website showed an apartment above a garage - turns out it's their apartment and garage, and our place is behind their garage and under their house. I don't know whether I was allowed to complain to the owner about the misrepresentation, so I've said nothing to him, but he's certainly getting a bad review when this is all over.

As for people doing their job. Noise is noise; it's discourteous not to take into account how loud you're being. People might have to have teleconferences from their house, might be sick and have to sleep, might have babies, etc. Your freedom ends where somebody else's freedom begins. You can't expect somebody to deal with inordinate amounts of noise just because you're in "your house". Your neighbours had every right to ask when your crew would finish (just as I did). They didn't ask you to be done by a certain point, they didn't ask you to cease and desist, they asked because they're willing to work around your schedule. You should appreciate their courtesy. I might be in a band and decide to practice in my house. Should I expect people to deal with the noise? No.

Sure, my neighbors may have had every right to ask my lawn crew when they'd be finishing up, but I have every right to be irritated with them as a result of them not minding their own business….
As far as where you chose to live, you still chose because you learned of the living arrangements upon your arrival. My husband and I chose an apartment online shortly before our cross-country move. When we arrived, we found out that the apartment complex was not as advertised (they "forgot" to mention that it was located next to a stinky water treatment plant). We got out of the rental agreement as you likely could have based on the misinformation that you've provided.
It sounds to me like you're talking about fairly normal noise levels - it's not a band practicing, it's a house cleaning. Some structures are poorly built and transfer sound much more than others. It'e entirely possible that your upstairs neighbors aren't being exceptionally loud, but the structure magnifies the sound. Have you ever talked to them? Did you meet them when you first moved in? If the noise was an issue, I would have made some opportunity to have casual, polite conversation with them - making mention of you son's schedule (napping, etc.). If they don't have kids, they may not even be aware that their noise level has disrupted his sleep. Confronting the cleaning lady (probably with a negative attitude, etc.) was the wrong approach.

 

[mayerling]

Momhappy, I will say it once again. I did not confront her. All I managed to get in was to ask her what time she would finish. She never gave me a chance to say much else.

As for choosing to live here, we moved here from Europe for two months. Unlike you, we did not have the luxury of pulling out as that would have meant that we're homeless. Dragging suitcases across a wooden floor at 4:45 in the morning does not qualify as normal sound levels.

 

[kenny]

Different levels of noise is usual for different kinds of housing.

Neighborhoods with more home owners are probably more quiet than neighborhoods with more more rentals.

Apartments are the worst.
Duplexes better.
Detached houses on small lots better.
Detached houses on larger lots better.
Detached houses on acreage even better.

We are in the middle of that list since we live in a tiny detached house on a tiny lot.
My neighbor's house and mine is only 13 feet apart.
Between the building is a concrete driveway that reflects sound.
Both houses are covered with hard sound-reflecting stucco.
Their windows are always open so I hear their TV, music, parties, children screaming, dogs barking, etc etc.

I wish we had more money so we could live on a house in the middle of 3,000 isolated acres.
But since I don't have that kind of money I guess I just have to accept the annoyance that comes with housing that our income level can afford, or work to make more money to improve my lot in life.
I'm certainly not entitled to more peace and quiet than what's typical for the level of housing I paid for.

People who pay different amounts for housing do not all get the same thing.

IMO, you expect too much quiet for where you live.

 

[mayerling]

Different levels of noise is usual for different kinds of housing.

Neighborhoods with more home owners are probably more quiet than neighborhoods with more more rentals.

Apartments are the worst.
Duplexes better.
Detached houses on small lots better.
Detached houses on larger lots better.
Detached houses on acreage even better.

We are in the middle of that list since we live in a tiny detached house on a tiny lot.
My neighbor's house and mine is only 13 feet apart.
Between the building is a concrete driveway that reflects sound.
Both houses are covered with hard sound-reflecting stucco.
Their windows are always open so I hear their TV, music, parties, children screaming, dogs barking, etc etc.

I wish we had more money so we could live on a house in the middle of 3,000 isolated acres.
But since I don't have that kind of money I guess I just have to accept the annoyance that comes with housing that our income level can afford, or work to make more money to improve my lot in life.
I'm certainly not entitled to more peace and quiet than what's typical for the level of housing I paid for.

People who pay different amounts for housing do not all get the same thing.

IMO, you expect too much quiet for where you live.

Perhaps, but while I'm willing to accept what you might call "normal" sound levels during daytime hours, I'm not willing to accept the same sound levels during the night (well, I accept them as I've done nothing about them, but I still think it's extremely rude to behave during the night as you would during the day).

Also, Kenny, as I've said before I didn't realise that we'd be living under somebody, otherwise I wouldn't have taken this place. So I'm not sure where the comment about getting what I paid for comes in.

 

[mayerling]

Anyway, thank you all for considering my predicament.

 

[momhappy]

Momhappy, I will say it once again. I did not confront her. All I managed to get in was to ask her what time she would finish. She never gave me a chance to say much else.

As for choosing to live here, we moved here from Europe for two months. Unlike you, we did not have the luxury of pulling out as that would have meant that we're homeless. Dragging suitcases across a wooden floor at 4:45 in the morning does not qualify as normal sound levels.

Puling out of our apartment lease was not a "luxury" - we would have been homeless had we not found a replacement apartment the day that we arrived (with U-Haul full of our belongings in tow).
Activity at 4:45 may not be normal to you, but maybe it is to them? Having silence during the day time hours (for a napping toddler) might not be normal to them, so this sort of comes down to what kenny referred to as your (and your neighbor's) expectations of noise levels.
Also, what you described when you knocked on the neighbor's door seems to imply a confrontation of sorts, but I apologize if that's not what it was. You sounded irritated (which may have come across in your tone, your words, the look on your face, etc.), you were holding your toddler and you were questioning why she wasn't done at 12 when it was after 12… Then you rang the doorbell and knocked repeatedly after she slammed the door in your face. That sounds like a confrontation of sorts.
Look, it is what it is at this point. You asked for opinions and you got them. I would not have approached the cleaning lady, but you did and that's your choice. Like I said, if it was me, I might try to establish a a connection with the neighbors to explain myself - unless I thought that it might cause further harm. Again, I'm sorry that you're dealing with it - I had my kids on fairly strict schedules so I know how frustrating it can be when routines get turned upside down. Take comfort in the fact that you will be leaving soon. Best of luck.