clarity1264
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2022
- Messages
- 25
When I was younger, in my teens, I didn’t have the same values or beliefs that I do now. Being older, I know realize the importance of trust, respect, and kindness. I know these traits aren’t common these days, which makes relationships and forgiveness harder. I’m curious what others have to say or what their opinions are on on this, or people who have dealt with people like this. I know personally, that my actions and words prior to who I am now were harmful and toxic. I have since, getting older and coming to all of these realizations, have a hard time practicing forgiveness and patience. However, I am also aware that actions and words don’t always necessarily reflect the relationships people have with each other. As both an abuser and victim of each of these scenarios, I realized that trauma is a huge factor in how people respond to each other. Yet, it is still hard for me to offer grace to the ones I have felt wronged me. However, when I was recovering from being an abuser, I found that in order to change I first needed to change my thoughts as the reason why I would hurt the people I cared about in my life was because my thoughts and actions turning into behaviors. As someone who practiced these toxic behaviors, but also experienced harm from the actions and behaviors of others do you think it is possibly to forgive and also practice forgiveness? To me, I often have a hard trusting that people are capable of changing due to their consistent harmful behaviors. Yet, I have seen it happen and have experienced it happening. As a victim of abuse, but also the abuser I am not only trying to change and gain forgiveness, but also practice it. If you are a victim, or an abuser how would you respond to either your perpetrator or victim of abuse? As an abuser, I have not yet reached out to my victims as I don’t want to cause them distress nor make them think the cycle of my abuse if starting over again. Yet, I also wish to make amends as my behaviors have changed and seeing the harm I caused. However, as a victim as well I often long for the change and possible apology from the behaviors of the people who abused me and hurt me. I want to know what everyone thinks, from both the perspective of an abuser but also the experience of the victim.