Updates...

[Grlsbestfrnd]

I feel like it's time we had a new update thread!

Here's mine:

There hasn't really been too much going on on my end. I still don't know when the proposal is going to happen but since he wants it all to be a surprise (and so do I), I wont know until it happens. I've been doing great LIWitis-wise and I've felt content and relaxed lately. Our 7 year anniversary (yep, 7 whole years) is coming up in a couple weeks so I'm very excited for that. I don't have high hopes for it happening then because I don't think he's been able to save up the money or really have time to ring shop. Still, you never know. I'm not going to let myself get my hopes up and then be disappointed. I just want to enjoy the day .

 

[gummy-bear]

Great idea. I wish I had more to report but I don't. My ring was technically "done" about a week and a half ago but after seeing the pictures I noticed some problems that needed to be fixed. This past Friday I was told they finally had a meeting to discuss the future of my ring. I am told it will take another few days to work on the issues. I figure it will probably be at least a week before we see a finished product given their track record so far.

LIW-wise I've been doing ok but I'm getting a bit discouraged about this whole process :s.

 

[Hospatogi]

My ring is finished and is currently with the appraiser. I havent seen pics of the ring yet but I should hopefully have some today or tmrw. I am excited yet anxious to see it and am so scared that after 12 weeks of waiting it will look completely different from the picture I have of it in my mind My boyfriend is planning to propose but since my friends gave away his original proposal date I have no idea what he is up to. Hopefully it will be in june when I visit him.

 

[kateydid05]

Hmm...my update is that we came to the conclusion that we want to do a destination wedding in Mexico (possibly next year) and now we're trying to figure out where we want to go. I posted a threat in BWW about it if anyone wants to offer their opinion. I would assume that means engagement sometime this year but I really don't know. Obviously we're a little backwards here.

As far as I can tell he does not have any money saved up for it and has not been doing any preliminary searches. I have pictures of what I want saved on my computer and have told him a few times what interests me. I brought something up to him the other day when a friend of mine got engaged. She and her now fiance designed the ring together. I asked him if that was something he would be into doing and I got the vibe that he wanted full control and surprise. While I'm excited about that it also makes me nervous because he has NO concept of the research required and would end up going into a store, pointing, and saying "that one" and probably overpaying for something awful. So when the opportunity arises in conversation I'm trying to slip in ways to educate him here and there. We'll see.

 

[MayFlowers]

Not much going on here. Most of you know that BF's brother passed away three weeks ago. Because of that, engagement has been postponed. I don't know when BF will be ready as I'm sure that he will be missing his brother tremendously for a while and will miss him celebrating with us. BF really looked up to his brother and sought his guidance for many things. So, I know that he probably would have gone to his brother first when he began making plans to propose. That is going to make things much harder for BF.

The main reason we had been waiting is because we didn't have our finances where we wanted them to be and BF was continuing to save for a ring. BF's brother was engaged and had a 1 year old daughter. Because they weren't married, his brother's fiance is suddenly without the income that supported their household. She is really in a horrible bind. So, BF and his dad have been helping her out financially as much as possible until she can get Social Security benefits set up for their daughter and until she can find a job (she was a SAHM). So, obviously that all puts a dent in BF's savings to get a ring. He has money to get an average size ring now (at least what I consider average). But, he has said time and time again that he wants something better for me.

This whole situation though has both of us all mixed up and confused. Like shootingstar said in her thread, I am feeling so many different emotions at once. I am disappointed that BF and I will no longer be getting engaged this summer. I am grieving and sad over the loss of BF's brother. Selfishly, I am angry that this all happened at the end of my undergraduate career when I should be happy and celebrating. I am also completely confused because a situation like this could make someone put off engagement or it could convince someone to propose sooner.

One good thing is that this whole thing really has made BF and I much closer. I know that engagement is still on his mind. At graduation the other day, I was asking him to help me phonetically spell my last name on my call card (I have an unusual last name). He wasn't sure how we could do it so that the announcer would say it correctly. Then he suggested I put his last name since my last name will change to it soon anyways. Remarks like this remind me that even though we are both grieving, I know he still wants to marry me and it comforts me to know that engagement is still on his mind, no matter how far away it may or may not be.

So, basically right now, I am completely in the dark about when it will happen. I don't want to bring it up to BF just yet because I am afraid he may not be ready to talk about it. So, I will just wait and see.

 

[INdmbLove]

Nothing to report..... which sucks. It seems we had so much momentum... and now-- flatlined. The whole when/where/ what to our engagement is a surprise. This is something that is very important to both of us- I can't wait, and am SO excited to see how he does it!

I kinda burned myself out on looking for just what I wanted within my price limit AND having a good warranty. I told BF last week that I was just kinda done with it for the moment, and felt discouraged. He said that was fine-- he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to do-- and I think he was also discouraged.

BF said we'd work on it more when we got back from vacation (end of June) and he didn't want for my ring to put a financial damper on our vaca (like... what if I found this amazing ring... and it was the last one ever made (like they tell you at some stores)--- and it'll probably be gone before he gets back to buy it-- and he'd feel pressured to buy it right then... and drain our little vacation fund). I get it, but I was pretty bummed out when he said he wanted to put it on hold for the moment... Good news is, it's only for a month or so. BUT, One little tiny part of my brain is wondering still... does he already have it--- and just telling me to stop looking "for now" b/c there is no longer a need to look? hmm... IDK, I Very highly doubt it, but... I can't get that little voice to shut up!

BF is so very very very patient with me. I met two girls at a concert this weekend- both engaged and had high recommendations for their jeweler (they used the same one). I mentioned it to BF yesterday and he seemed kind of annoyed. He's NEVER once been annoyed with me about this topic (or... anything for that matter)... So I guess I'll just shut-up about it for now.

 

[dandyandi]

Not much to update on the topic of rings/proposals... however, in a couple of weeks bf and I are visiting my parents and plan to tell them we're planning to move in together in a couple of months (once both our current leases run out). I'm very anxious because my parents are quite traditional and have always been strict in the relationship (read: boys) arena. The last time I casually mentioned living together before marriage, my mom had about 50 cows and just yelled forever. Agh. Bf and I have been together 3.5 years, and we spend so much time together that living together makes more sense. It would save us a lot of time and money! Not to mention, we want to take the next step in our relationship, and this is the next logical step for us.

We have talked to his parents, who are also traditional, but in the end are letting him make his own decision. My parents, on the other hand, will be a bigger challenge. Bf decided that this would be a good time to share our timeline with them, so that they know he plans to marry me in the near future. (One of my mom's reasons against this idea was that she's had girlfriends who moved in with their man and ended up getting robbed of marriage, or if they did get married it was without her dream wedding despite man's promises to give her everything she wants). She thinks that will happen to me if I agree to move in with my bf before any sign of "commitment". To my parents, my bf is not truly committed until he puts a ring on it... and he would, but he's still saving up for one! So we kinda have to do things a little out of order than what my parents would like. Anyway... he says engagement will take place between 7 months to 2 years from now... and we'll probably get married 1-2 years after that. Hopefully having a concrete timeline (and having him there to tell them that in person) will quell some of my parents' fears.

Another issue is financial reasons... my parents have helped me pay for rent through my undergrad career and currently as I am finishing grad school... and while I am extremely grateful for their help, they often hold my financial dependence on them over my head when I want to make my own decisions (i.e. visiting my boyfriend's family during a holiday. It's a big no-no, but "once you are financially independent you can do whatever you want"). So I suspect this is another reason they will bring up, to which I will let them know that they know longer need to support me. I am planning (HOPING) to get a teaching job this year, which will enable me to support myself comfortably. Plan B is to find any old job... as long as I can work full time, with minimum wage I figured out I can still support myself. So I hope that showing them the numbers (of expected income and expenses) and telling them that I will be able to support myself will render them unable to hold financial dependence over my head as a reason why I'm not allowed to make my own decisions. And since my dad is a very "numbers" person, I think he would appreciate the fact that I have considered finances and different options. In an ideal situation, I would already have a full-time job and be supporting myself for some time before talking to my parents about this... but since both our leases are over soon, and we don't want to live with other people for another year (or more), this is the opportunity for us to take the leap.

I guess my biggest worry is how to have this conversation without making my parents feel offended, because despite the ups and downs in my relationship with them, I still care very much about what they think. I know that they will bring up our culture, and how it is unacceptable for women in our culture to move in with a man before marrying him, and it's hard to argue with culture/tradition. I respect many aspects of our culture and do adopt many of the same values and beliefs that my parents taught me... but decisions about my relationship have always been cause for debate between my parents and I, because oftentimes they conflict with what they believe should happen. It's frustrating because they are very old-fashioned and they never want to hear my reasons for wanting to take a different path. They don't seem to understand that I grew up in a different country, different culture, and different age... not to mention I and my bf are different people from my parents, and will have different preferences and opinions. I want them to be supportive of our relationship but I know it will take them a long time to be okay with this decision, if ever. They take it very personally whenever I want to do something that does not align with their beliefs. And it's not like they're awful, horrible things!! I consider myself to be a pretty good daughter who has stayed on the right path... I think that I have proven myself to be smart and thoughtful in decision-making. Just not sure how much weight that will hold in my parents' eyes when I am going against what they believe to be the "right" thing.

Oh man... didn't realize how long this post has become. Thanks for reading through all of that! I've been wanting to get some outsiders' opinions/thoughts/advice regarding our situation... maybe I should start a new thread?

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Well it seems like most of us don't really have a good idea of when a proposal is coming . Oh well, let's just try to enjoy this time. It could be sooner than you think. ~*~*~*DUST*~*~*~ to everyone and I hope we get some good news from one of the ladies on the list soon.

Keep the updates coming!

Oh, and to Dandyandy: The best advice I can give is to just try to be honest with your parents and hope that the talk you have with them about your plans for your timeline will ease their minds some. As much as you may want to always please them and have their blessing, you can't live your life and make all your decisions by their rules. Even though they may never understand your decision, they will one day get over it because they love you. Good luck!

 

[dandyandi]

Oh, and to Dandyandy: The best advice I can give is to just try to be honest with your parents and hope that the talk you have with them about your plans for your timeline will ease their minds some. As much as you may want to always please them and have their blessing, you can't live your life and make all your decisions by their rules. Even though they may never understand your decision, they will one day get over it because they love you. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice, Gbf. Many of my friends have been telling me the same thing, that I need to work through this need to please my parents, because I am an adult. I really do want their blessing, but at the same time I am sure of my decision no matter what they say. So I hope they get over it sooner than later... we'll see! Thanks for wishing me luck and everything, it helps a lot and I will need it! I'll be sure to update afterwards

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

It'll happen sooon!

BF will receive a substantial amount of money at the end of the month that is more than enough to cover my dream ring and anything else we need... He's been saying for years that I would get a diamond ring when he gets this payment. Of course we would have liked it to happen sooner (we are celebrating 7 years at the end of June), but things were never right with our finances. And now the time has finally come!

I have a few diamonds from BGD bookmarked on my computer and I look at them every day to see which have been sold. (Obsessed much?) My top pick is still available! Must be a sign!

We have been "planning" a wedding for some time now and have gone back and forth with ideas about what kind of event we wanted. Well, I finally convinced him to elope (which is what I wanted in the first place) on the condition that we will have a party afterwards to celebrate with alllll the family (aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc.)

Things are moving forward for me.

 

[gummy-bear]

Another update. Got pictures of the ring. I'm not sure if it's the lighting or angle but something looks off about the band. I'm going to try to trust the company's quality control and hope that everything is fine. Should be here early next week so I guess I'll have to see it when I do.

 

[MayFlowers]

Chloe, I'm so glad things are moving forward for you! I have always followed you because we had basically lived the same timeline since we started. We both joined right at the same time. We both thought it would happen that coming spring because of tax refund season. Neither of us got a proposal and we have both been waiting since then because of financial reasons! So, I'm very happy for you and excited for you!

I would ask which diamonds you are following but I don't want to give them away to any lurkers. I have been following their inventory myself because I'm starting to think now that I would be happier with a branded H&A diamond than with an unbranded ideal cut from our local jeweler. It's completely a mind thing as I know many GIA EX and AGS 0 diamonds are great too. BF really wants to go local because he just doesn't feel comfortable making that kind of purchase online. I don't know what to do yet. I feel like we need to decide though because he insists that we get the ring after the proposal so that it is a surprise for me (and because if I knew he had the ring, I would probably bug him about proposing all the time). But, I want to be able to tell everyone we are engaged soon after and have a ring to show them. I feel like if we haven't decided who we are going to use for the ring, then it could take weeks for us to decide and then get the ring made!

I'm obviously horrible at decisions. But we will figure it out eventually.

ETA: grlsbestfrnd, thank you for starting this thread! I know I said I would last week, but things just got busy with my graduation and continuing to deal with the drama in BF's family. So THANK YOU!!!

ETA 2: To throw more confusion in the mix, I just found out BGD is starting a new line of square H&A diamonds called "quadex". The name isn't all too great, but I have been debating whether I wanted a squarish diamond or round for a while. Plus, these have significantly lower depths than GOG square H&A diamonds which means they face up larger for their carat weight. They also seem to be reasonably priced. GAHH! Sometimes I just wish I lived in Texas so I could visit BGD for an entire day and just try on everything!

 

[kateydid05]

Dandy, I certainly know how you feel. My boyfriends grandmother has become unbearable about us living together prior to marriage. She literally flew off the handle at both of us. "He's 28 and unmarried, people are going to think something is wrong, what is he waiting for, it's just wrong to live together so long, you should move out." It's gotten pretty bad to the point where I think it has pushed my boyfriend farther away from engagement (I don't blame him really). In reality, we've been together almost 7 years and living together for close to 3. Anyone who truly knows us, knows that we're just going with the flow and not in a real rush. No one but the two of us know about the prospect of a destination wedding and the research we've been doing. I'd like to keep it that way for now.

It is really hard to deal with sometimes though. His grandmother's first marriage ended because her husband was unfaithful and she had a very long term relationship with another man that never ended up in marriage. I think that is what makes her this way. I feel for you though...it's really hard to convey to other people and deal with the reactions.

 

[maebelle]

My boyfriend's mother was NOT pleased at all about us moving in together. I was afraid to go over there for a week. Now she buys us furniture. You never know how it'll turn out!

as for an update: My BF has been snooping all the links I left him for sapphires. I don''t think he's made a purchase yet, but now at least I know I can be hands off and still get a precision cut sapphire (and not an inky one from a local store). I left him Jeff White, Andrew Gulij, Roger Dery, and a couple of single stones from other vendors. crossing my fingers...

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Mayflowers,
Thanks for the support. It's so exciting when things fall into place. As far as diamonds go, I haven't even really been looking at BGD's own cuts, just the diamonds available on the database that I guess many jewelers have access to. (Is that how that whole thing works? Lol.) But I am in love with one of his settings so I figured it would be more convenient to get a diamond and a setting through him. I am lucky that I live in Houston and am looking forward to getting to go see everything in person. Has anyone else noticed that diamond prices have just gone up in the past couple days?! My first choice diamond is all of a sudden a bit pricier. So strange!

Dust to all!

 

[Glitz]

I don't have a lot of progress to report on. We're still paying down our appliances we had to buy for our new house, after those are paid off then we can progress with the ring. A while ago he gave me a timeline of June to start working with a jeweller, but I know his second income hasn't panned out like he thought it would (yet). We did however find the perfect setting!!! We knew we wanted a 3 stone ring with tapered baguette sides, but there was always something I didn't like about the profile. Then I found a different design, it's an x-prong style so the profile is more what I was looking for. This is the setting we would work from (we want a few minor modifications): http://www.whiteflash.com/engagemen...-ring-with-baguettes-and-x-prong-head-743.htm

Here's a typical LIW scenario that happened over Easter weekend with SO's Family:
SO's cousin: So do I hear wedding bells in your future, I love a good party?
Me: Yeah, I'm not sure when though, you'll have to ask SO.
SO's cousin: Well I have to know when, I want to make sure I'm not pregnant so I can party at your wedding!
we all look at SO, his mother is also VERY alert and listening into the convo by this point
SO: Yeah, we'll get married, we're working on it.
SO's cousin: Thank God! We're all wondering ... so you're not opposed to marriage?
SO: I'm not opposed to marriage, it's coming soon.

This July will be our 6 year anniversary. I'm secretly hoping that he proposes then, but I doubt it. It's a little over 2 months away, and that would mean he would have to be working with a jeweller now or in the VERY near future to have the ring finished by that time. He seems to think that everything will just happen overnight when he's ready. He has no concept of how long things actually take, he was astounded when a friend mentioned she had booked her wedding venue 1 year in advance, and ordered her dress 8 months in advance. Guys definitely have a different concept of time... when he says soon, I wonder what that means to him. I don't want to pester him and ask, since he already told me June a few months back and soon to his cousin. I know he feels a lot of pressure from everyone around him to marry me and I don't want to add to that.

I did order a cute dress from white house black market for our anniversary, and got a new ring for myself (to tie me over). It's Rose gold with a ball of clustered raspberry garnets.

 

[NCSUchick27]

The only update I have is that SO took me to look at engagement rings settings the other day and I found one that I really like. I had mentioned going to look at them about a year ago, but he seemed pretty opposed to the idea so I didn't mention it again. Well, the other day we were out driving around and he suggested we go to a local jeweler so I could try some rings on.

I am also pretty sure the proposal will happen this summer or fall. I know he has a specific plan and date in mind.

 

[DuckLovingVegan]

I don't really have an update. I talked to my SO about going to source these two diamonds I'm interested in to look at while were in NYC this June. I just decided to cancel it seeing how the only time we would have would be Friday when were getting into town. Once we get back from NYC I suggested we got to Quest jewelers to just go browsing. I've been obsessed with theses two diamonds too much time on my hands right now. They fit the criteria I like and fit into my SO budget. Money isn't a problem for him his just waiting I guess for the perfect time. He won't give me any type of a timeline. He wants to pick the ring and diamond out all on his own. While its admirable I'm just giving him a little push ok maybe a big push in the direction of the diamonds I like. He doesn't know the first thing about diamonds when I gave him a break down about the four C's he got overwhelmed. We haven't even begun to talk about table, depth, crown and pavilion angles lol. I'm not expecting anything this year but he told me he does have a timeline. It'll happen eventually I guess. I'm really excited for all the progress and almost finished rings in the works for my fellow LIW. I'm looking forward to reading about a lot of proposals this year.