Rockinruby
Ideal_Rock
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Update on my horrible, awful, no good, very bad summer
- Thread starter random_thought
- Start date
NewEnglandLady
Ideal_Rock
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RT, I'm so sorry...it's been an awful year for you. And I know you were dealing with quite a bit even before all of this. My father passed away suddenly this summer as well and it's been very difficult. I'm hoping (for your sake), that the death of your mother last year prompted your father to express his wishes for his own ceremony so that at least you know what he would have wanted. I'm also sorry about your sister--honestly, you're dealing with so much right now that you are probably getting to the point where you just don't care if she's being awful.
random_thought
Brilliant_Rock
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I can't even make this up. We took a week to visit my husbands family in ND. While here, his uncle passed away today. His grandpa was put into hospice yesterday and isn't expected to make it the week. Funerals will be next week and we used up bereavement on my dads funeral 
Feeling so awful and helpless right now....
Feeling so awful and helpless right now....
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RT, I'm so sorry for all your losses. I know it feels like the universe is conspiring to make your lives as awful as possible right now.
I can relate because in less than a year and a half I lost my husband, my mother, a close friend, and my dog. I also know from experience that, as hard as it is to imagine at this moment, you will eventually start to feel that life can be okay again. I promise, it will.
I can relate because in less than a year and a half I lost my husband, my mother, a close friend, and my dog. I also know from experience that, as hard as it is to imagine at this moment, you will eventually start to feel that life can be okay again. I promise, it will.
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Ellen
Super_Ideal_Rock
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random_thought|1471988481|4069184 said:I can't even make this up. We took a week to visit my husbands family in ND. While here, his uncle passed away today. His grandpa was put into hospice yesterday and isn't expected to make it the week. Funerals will be next week and we used up bereavement on my dads funeral
Oh, man.... You just keep getting knocked down
I am so very sorry that you're having to go through all of this at once. I wish you strength and peace. Hugs to you.
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Random thought,
I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband's uncle and grandfather.
As I mentioned earlier, sometimes it seems as though its one terrible thing after the next, and we wonder if it will ever end.
Things really will get better. You'll feel joy and peace, and memories will bring you comfort and strength.
However, at this point, its no wonder you feel awful and helpless.
If you can't take leave from work to attend a funeral, don't beat yourself up.
What matters is our interactions with people while they're living. Attending or not attending a funeral doesn't reflect your love and respect for the person who has passed.
If you do attend the funeral, be prepared to relive your Dad's funeral since it was so recent. If the feelings are too powerful, step outside and go off by yourself if need be. You might want to give your husband a head's up and perhaps have a sign, such as a squeeze of his hand or touch on his arm, to let him know you need to leave.
Do not feel bad about stepping outside if necessary, or not being able to attend the funeral. Understood.
I wish I could make things better, but that will only come with time.
We're all mortal and can't control how long we or anyone else has. But we do have control over how we interact with others while we're here. The pain you feel is because you're a compassionate and loving person. The loss you feel for the loved ones who have passed is because of their wonderful, caring ways. We can't prevent the pain at their passing, but we can be blessed for having had them in our lives and try to reflect their positive attributes in how we live.
You, your husband, and your families are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband's uncle and grandfather.
As I mentioned earlier, sometimes it seems as though its one terrible thing after the next, and we wonder if it will ever end.
Things really will get better. You'll feel joy and peace, and memories will bring you comfort and strength.
However, at this point, its no wonder you feel awful and helpless.
If you can't take leave from work to attend a funeral, don't beat yourself up.
What matters is our interactions with people while they're living. Attending or not attending a funeral doesn't reflect your love and respect for the person who has passed.
If you do attend the funeral, be prepared to relive your Dad's funeral since it was so recent. If the feelings are too powerful, step outside and go off by yourself if need be. You might want to give your husband a head's up and perhaps have a sign, such as a squeeze of his hand or touch on his arm, to let him know you need to leave.
Do not feel bad about stepping outside if necessary, or not being able to attend the funeral. Understood.
I wish I could make things better, but that will only come with time.
We're all mortal and can't control how long we or anyone else has. But we do have control over how we interact with others while we're here. The pain you feel is because you're a compassionate and loving person. The loss you feel for the loved ones who have passed is because of their wonderful, caring ways. We can't prevent the pain at their passing, but we can be blessed for having had them in our lives and try to reflect their positive attributes in how we live.
You, your husband, and your families are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace.
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random_thought
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Random Thought, I'm sure the people you work with understand. Please say your boss was understanding. You have been through so much in a short amount of time. We are always here for you if you need to talk. Please take good care of yourself and try to do things you really enjoy as a distraction.
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random thought,
Its no wonder you broke down.
You've lost so many loved ones in such a short time period. There hasn't been time for you to grieve, heal and move to a less painful stage in which you're able to remember loved ones with comforting memories and a smile. Ideally, following the death of a loved one, we have time to go through the grieving process. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work that way. What you've been through is terrible, painful and depressing.
Cope in whatever way you can. If you can take some time off work, do so. If you can minimize demands on your time or energy, do so. If those things aren't possible, and they aren't always, then try to get through this however you can.
Talk to your doctor, ask about grief counseling, find out if there's a support group in your area, take out library books on dealing with grief, hug your child and DH, keep a journal, go for walks, visit local animal shelters, etc. Whatever helps you get through this difficult time, do it.
Know that we care.
My condolences, thoughts and prayers go out to you, your family and loved ones who have suffered such terrible losses.
Hugs
Its no wonder you broke down.
You've lost so many loved ones in such a short time period. There hasn't been time for you to grieve, heal and move to a less painful stage in which you're able to remember loved ones with comforting memories and a smile. Ideally, following the death of a loved one, we have time to go through the grieving process. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work that way. What you've been through is terrible, painful and depressing.
Cope in whatever way you can. If you can take some time off work, do so. If you can minimize demands on your time or energy, do so. If those things aren't possible, and they aren't always, then try to get through this however you can.
Talk to your doctor, ask about grief counseling, find out if there's a support group in your area, take out library books on dealing with grief, hug your child and DH, keep a journal, go for walks, visit local animal shelters, etc. Whatever helps you get through this difficult time, do it.
Know that we care.
My condolences, thoughts and prayers go out to you, your family and loved ones who have suffered such terrible losses.
Hugs
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- 33,852
RandomThought, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your suffering. I know it's hard to believe, but you will get there. I had a series of devastating losses in my early forties and, although the pain eased, it took a long time. You can't rush it. But the day will come when a sense of normality returns and although you'll never forget your losses, everyday life will get much easier. I know of other people whose losses all happened to come at once, too - which does not make it any better for you, but I just wanted to say that you aren't alone. I think what's hard as well is that others who haven't experienced this don't really understand. It's not that they don't care, but they don't realize that you need ongoing support for a long time. But there are people here who get it. Big, big hugs and lots of love to you xxx
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