Ughhh.. how would you handle this situation?

[totheleft]

Not sure where else to post this; let me know if there's a better choice!

My husband's wedding ring was purchased at Christian Bernard before we got married in 2006. It was sold to us as "platinum", but we recently discovered when trying to have a B&M jeweler resize it down (thanks, P90X!) that it's .585 Platinum. The jeweler was confused, saying "585 usually means gold", but research shows 585 platinum IS a thing - it's not supposed to be sold as "platinum" without a disclaimer, which we were not given. Which is annoying enough in itself, but we didn't know the difference, as we were 23 years old and clueless. Our fault, and their profit, as Christian Bernard is out of business now.

(Info on the alloy: http://jcrs.com/newsletters/2006/2006_01.htm )

ANYWAY - we found another jeweler willing to size it, said it wouldn't be a problem even with us saying it was 585 plat, etc. Two weeks later, when my husband picked it up, he noticed shortly after leaving that there's a very visible, ~5mm dark line where it was resized (the ring was polished, too, so it isn't that).

he called the jeweler today who immediately got defensive, saying "we'll never do that alloy again, it was a pain in the ass, wasn't worth the effort, come down here and we'll talk." My husband went and they said "look we'll give you your money back, or we'll give you a comparable ring." He ended up, long story short, with what they viewed a "comparable" ring - a .950 plat, comfort fit, 5mm band, retail valued (according to the price tag and the description/valuation sheet they gave him) at $1787. Quality wise, sure, it's much better than the .585 plat one he has now.

My husband's ring is a 6mm, and regardless, he LIKES his wedding ring (he has sentimental attachment to it). his ring FITS now.. just has an awkward line on it. And this one puts a bad taste in his mouth.

WWYD? I'm going to a jeweler tomorrow (a legit one, haha) to have a custom setting done and some prong work on my RHR solitaire. I'm going to have them look at husband's wedding ring and see if they can fix it.

-Anyone have experience with this?
-Should he just.. sell the new platinum band? Where/how? He doesn't want it and eventually wants a designed upgrade for our 10 year anniversary, so replacing his current band for this one puts us no further ahead really.

The whole situation is awkward and we just want done with it.

What's the best way to dispose of/get value back for a nice, brand-new wedding ring?

 

[sonnyjane]

If he won't wear it, go back down and get a refund rather than taking the replacement ring. You just got it today, correct?

 

[audball]

If he won't wear it, go back down and get a refund rather than taking the replacement ring. You just got it today, correct?

Idk...I'm guessing the value of the replacement ring is worth more than what you paid for the sizing job. Just to clarify, they gave him a new band AND let him keep his original band? If that's the case, I'd probably just sell the one you were given and wear the sized band until you upgrade in the future. If it's a plain band, just put the weird spot on the bottom and nobody will likely notice.

It's unfortunate about the mixup and alloy situation! I hope your other jeweler can fix it!

 

[AllieLuv83]

So you have your old ring and a new ring too?

 

[totheleft]

If he won't wear it, go back down and get a refund rather than taking the replacement ring. You just got it today, correct?

Idk...I'm guessing the value of the replacement ring is worth more than what you paid for the sizing job. Just to clarify, they gave him a new band AND let him keep his original band?

Correct - it's more effort to have to sell the new band, but it does give us extra "play money" when we sell it.. which will be able to go into savings and better in the long run.

He still is wearing the original band

 

[totheleft]

So you have your old ring and a new ring too?

Correct. Would love to know the best place to sell the ring. I know I won't get the value of it, but even half would be better than nothing.

 

[audball]

Well then I definitely wouldn't take the refund over the band. It may be a bit more effort, but hell, even if you sold it for half it's value or so, it'll probably move somewhat quickly on Diamond Bistro.

It still stinks that they messed up his real band. I hope your other jeweler will be able to do something about it, but if not, I'd probably wear it trying to hide the mark on the bottom and sell the 'replacement' one for the future upgrade fund.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Can you sell the replacement band and use those funds to fix your DH's ring and try and get rid of the line? I'd sort of think it's unethical to keep the new ring IF the jeweler told you up front there could be problems working with that alloy, but since you had been told that it'd be an easy job, then it sounds like they messed up and you should use the new ring toward your dh's original one. It sucks that that the ring has the line, but at least the jeweler tried to make things right the best he/she knew how...many would not provide such a generous offer!

 

[totheleft]

Well then I definitely wouldn't take the refund over the band. It may be a bit more effort, but hell, even if you sold it for half it's value or so, it'll probably move somewhat quickly on Diamond Bistro.

It still stinks that they messed up his real band. I hope your other jeweler will be able to do something about it, but if not, I'd probably wear it trying to hide the mark on the bottom and sell the 'replacement' one for the future upgrade fund.

Thanks. I always assumed diamond bistro (which I've seen mentioned around here) was only for.. well.. diamond jewelry. I'll check it out.

They told us it would not be a problem; it wasn't until they returned it to us that they expressed an issue. I wish they had told us beforehand; we would have gone somewhere else

 

[audball]

Well then I definitely wouldn't take the refund over the band. It may be a bit more effort, but hell, even if you sold it for half it's value or so, it'll probably move somewhat quickly on Diamond Bistro.

It still stinks that they messed up his real band. I hope your other jeweler will be able to do something about it, but if not, I'd probably wear it trying to hide the mark on the bottom and sell the 'replacement' one for the future upgrade fund.

Thanks. I always assumed diamond bistro (which I've seen mentioned around here) was only for.. well.. diamond jewelry. I'll check it out.

They told us it would not be a problem; it wasn't until they returned it to us that they expressed an issue. I wish they had told us beforehand; we would have gone somewhere else

Nope! People even post fakes and colored gemstones, plain bands, etc on DB...list it and see what happens. Don't forget to post a link in the PS Preloved section to your DB ad in case any PSers are interested.

 

[totheleft]

Thanks! I posted it to DB and will post it here. Hopefully this will recoup fixing DH's ring. I'm not even sure what to expect for how to fix it (rhodium plating it? idk)

 

[audball]

I don't know either....good luck though!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Thanks! I posted it to DB and will post it here. Hopefully this will recoup fixing DH's ring. I'm not even sure what to expect for how to fix it (rhodium plating it? idk)

Yeah, I don't know it would be fixed, but maybe hold off on selling the new ring until you can get an idea of the process? Or will your DH just wear the original ring with the line if it can't be covered with plating or smoothed out somehow?

 

[totheleft]

Thanks! I posted it to DB and will post it here. Hopefully this will recoup fixing DH's ring. I'm not even sure what to expect for how to fix it (rhodium plating it? idk)

Yeah, I don't know it would be fixed, but maybe hold off on selling the new ring until you can get an idea of the process? Or will your DH just wear the original ring with the line if it can't be covered with plating or smoothed out somehow?

he's attached enough to the original ring to wear it, even with the line.

 

[aviastar]

Ask your jeweler if they will take it for credit against either your current custom project or for his future re-do. My jeweler does this and it's better value than trying to resell or simply scrap.

 

[Christina...]

Not sure where else to post this; let me know if there's a better choice!

My husband's wedding ring was purchased at Christian Bernard before we got married in 2006. It was sold to us as "platinum", but we recently discovered when trying to have a B&M jeweler resize it down (thanks, P90X!) that it's .585 Platinum. The jeweler was confused, saying "585 usually means gold", but research shows 585 platinum IS a thing - it's not supposed to be sold as "platinum" without a disclaimer, which we were not given. Which is annoying enough in itself, but we didn't know the difference, as we were 23 years old and clueless. Our fault, and their profit, as Christian Bernard is out of business now.

(Info on the alloy: http://jcrs.com/newsletters/2006/2006_01.htm )

ANYWAY - we found another jeweler willing to size it, said it wouldn't be a problem even with us saying it was 585 plat, etc. Two weeks later, when my husband picked it up, he noticed shortly after leaving that there's a very visible, ~5mm dark line where it was resized (the ring was polished, too, so it isn't that).

he called the jeweler today who immediately got defensive, saying "we'll never do that alloy again, it was a pain in the a$$, wasn't worth the effort, come down here and we'll talk." My husband went and they said "look we'll give you your money back, or we'll give you a comparable ring." He ended up, long story short, with what they viewed a "comparable" ring - a .950 plat, comfort fit, 5mm band, retail valued (according to the price tag and the description/valuation sheet they gave him) at $1787. Quality wise, sure, it's much better than the .585 plat one he has now.

My husband's ring is a 6mm, and regardless, he LIKES his wedding ring (he has sentimental attachment to it). his ring FITS now.. just has an awkward line on it. And this one puts a bad taste in his mouth.

WWYD? I'm going to a jeweler tomorrow (a legit one, haha) to have a custom setting done and some prong work on my RHR solitaire. I'm going to have them look at husband's wedding ring and see if they can fix it.

-Anyone have experience with this?
-Should he just.. sell the new platinum band? Where/how? He doesn't want it and eventually wants a designed upgrade for our 10 year anniversary, so replacing his current band for this one puts us no further ahead really.

The whole situation is awkward and we just want done with it.

What's the best way to dispose of/get value back for a nice, brand-new wedding ring?

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, but it seems that now you are profiting from a jeweler because a dishonest one ripped you off back in 2006. And part of the reason was because you didn't educate yourself before making the purchase. Does it make it right, of course not, but the same goes in this instance. Obviously this jeweler didn't know what he was getting into with the ring, but I don't think that he should be out $1800 because of the mistake, especially when your husband plans to continue to wear the ring. Just my 2 cents

 

[totheleft]

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, but it seems that now you are profiting from a jeweler because a dishonest one ripped you off back in 2006. And part of the reason was because you didn't educate yourself before making the purchase. Does it make it right, of course not, but the same goes in this instance. Obviously this jeweler didn't know what he was getting into with the ring, but I don't think that he should be out $1800 because of the mistake, especially when your husband plans to continue to wear the ring. Just my 2 cents

Thanks for your input. It was how the guy chose to "reimburse" us, and based on prices on other rings elsewhere, I'll be lucky to get $500-$600 for the ring. We paid close to $200 to have it sized (which the man did NOT reimburse us), and god knows what it's going to cost to have the actual ring somehow "fixed", which is our main priority (and I'm taking it to the jeweler tomorrow), not to mention this giant pain in the ass (Im' reallllllllly hoping we can have the original ring fixed, as he's currently wearing it with the line.. if not, I have no idea WHAT we will do but we're still hopeful that won't be the case.. ugh). Point being, we may financially profit by a couple hundred bucks, but it's not like we're laughing all the way to the bank, lol.

 

[sonnyjane]

Not that it matters, but I'm with Christina. This seems unethical to me. The jeweler made you a VERY generous offer after the failed sizing ($200 refund vs. giving you a nearly $2,000 band). It would be one thing if your husband was going to wear the new ring, but since he basically knew right off the bat that he wouldn't, it seems wrong to accept it to turn a profit. Obviously I'm in the minority since others are ok with your decision, but I personally don't agree with it.

 

[swingirl]

Not that it matters, but I'm with Christina. This seems unethical to me. The jeweler made you a VERY generous offer after the failed sizing ($200 refund vs. giving you a nearly $2,000 band). It would be one thing if your husband was going to wear the new ring, but since he basically knew right off the bat that he wouldn't, it seems wrong to accept it to turn a profit. Obviously I'm in the minority since others are ok with your decision, but I personally don't agree with it.

I agree with you. I think the jeweler should have refunded the $200 and called it a day.

 

[Gypsy]

Not that it matters, but I'm with Christina. This seems unethical to me. The jeweler made you a VERY generous offer after the failed sizing ($200 refund vs. giving you a nearly $2,000 band). It would be one thing if your husband was going to wear the new ring, but since he basically knew right off the bat that he wouldn't, it seems wrong to accept it to turn a profit. Obviously I'm in the minority since others are ok with your decision, but I personally don't agree with it.

I gotta say, it's awkward, and I would have just preferred a refund. But there was damage and it's not fixable, to your original ring. So a refund wouldn't have been enough to address the irreparable damage to your original ring. So I can see why the jeweler just threw a new ring at you to make the problem go away.

Here's what I'd do. I'd go to the new jeweler and say: look if you can fix this, with this alloy which INCIDENTALLY is a PITA to work with, and make it LIKE NEW only the right size... I'll fix it with you and tell me how much it will cost.

Then whatever the cost of that repair and sizing is what I'd call the jeweler about. Tell him, look my husband won't wear the new band he just wants his original repaired so we'd like to bring the band back, thank you, and we'd prefer it if you would just pay us the price of the repair at this other place which is: _______.

Because the new place doesn't have to just size they have to fix the damage done too so it will cost you more than just sizing and the place that damaged it should pay for it. IMO.

 

[Circe]

Not that it matters, but I'm with Christina. This seems unethical to me. The jeweler made you a VERY generous offer after the failed sizing ($200 refund vs. giving you a nearly $2,000 band). It would be one thing if your husband was going to wear the new ring, but since he basically knew right off the bat that he wouldn't, it seems wrong to accept it to turn a profit. Obviously I'm in the minority since others are ok with your decision, but I personally don't agree with it.

I agree with you. I think the jeweler should have refunded the $200 and called it a day.

I respectfully disagree - it's not like the OP went into this hoping to make a profit. The issue isn't simply that they failed to fulfill their duty, but that they also damaged a sentimental piece in the process. I figure that a jeweler's job isn't dissimilar to a doctor's: first, do no harm. He offered the new band in compensation (and it really didn't cost him anything close to 1800), so I say the OP can walk away with it without a qualm, aside from any heartache over the damage done to the band itself.

And I say this as somebody who tends to sympathize with the jeweler, hands-down.

That said ... given the odd alloy and the best-case fix, I'd sort of leave well enough alone at this point. I don't know if there are many jewelers around who could work with this metal (normal platinum is tough enough but this ... eesh). It's wearable now, so I'd vote for wearing it short-term, and getting the new band blessed in a renewal, or just wearing the old one indefinitely until you chose a different set together ....

 

[Gypsy]

Circe and I are on the same page. I think that it needs more than a refund, cause there was damage.

And she's right, if it's really a pain to work with the alloy then you might be better off just cutting your losses and reselling the band he gave you and put the money toward some new band to be blessed at the renewal.

 

[Christina...]

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this, but it seems that now you are profiting from a jeweler because a dishonest one ripped you off back in 2006. And part of the reason was because you didn't educate yourself before making the purchase. Does it make it right, of course not, but the same goes in this instance. Obviously this jeweler didn't know what he was getting into with the ring, but I don't think that he should be out $1800 because of the mistake, especially when your husband plans to continue to wear the ring. Just my 2 cents

Thanks for your input. It was how the guy chose to "reimburse" us, and based on prices on other rings elsewhere, I'll be lucky to get $500-$600 for the ring. We paid close to $200 to have it sized (which the man did NOT reimburse us), and god knows what it's going to cost to have the actual ring somehow "fixed", which is our main priority (and I'm taking it to the jeweler tomorrow), not to mention this giant pain in the a$$ (Im' reallllllllly hoping we can have the original ring fixed, as he's currently wearing it with the line.. if not, I have no idea WHAT we will do but we're still hopeful that won't be the case.. ugh). Point being, we may financially profit by a couple hundred bucks, but it's not like we're laughing all the way to the bank, lol.

You may not be laughing all the way to the bank, but doesn't it seem more honest to request that the jeweler incur the cost of having the ring repaired somewhere else? For all anyone knows it may be a simple fix. Additionally, if your husband wasn't satisfied with the platinum band that the jeweler offered, he might have mentioned that he would be happier with a ring of similar design and quality as the original, instead of cutting and running with the $1800 one with big plans to find out where and how much to sell it for, while he continues to wear the damaged one.

 

[ChrisES]

I don't know about these ethics questions. The jeweler offered a new ring, the jeweler is a tradesperson, the jeweler knows exactly what he/she was giving away. It was a generous offer, no question, but there is nothing wrong with accepting it.

Point of fact, the jeweler made a pretty big mistake (thinking the alloy would be no problem when it actually was a problem), and probably calculated that it was worth the value of the new ring to have a customer walking away thinking "X jeweler is generous and really took care of me when there was trouble" rather than "x jeweler is an idiot who doesn't know his/her alloys."

But, as we say, mindclean and all that. You should do whatever you're comfortable with - but I do think that the offer of a ring was a clear gesture of "we ruined this and can't fix it, sorry."

 

[totheleft]

if your husband wasn't satisfied with the platinum band that the jeweler offered, he might have mentioned that he would be happier with a ring of similar design and quality as the original, instead of cutting and running with the $1800 one with big plans to find out where and how much to sell it for, while he continues to wear the damaged one.

We don't WANT a ring of similar design and quality as the original. We want OUR WEDDING BAND.

The jeweler, however, washed his hands of it by saying "Look we ruined your ring so here's another one". They didn't HAVE another one of comparable quality - they don't sell that same platinum alloy (or know how to work with it, clearly). So they had two options: give us a white gold band (which is of LESSER quality -- why would we be OK with that?) or give us a platinum band. And he didn't have the 6mm, not that it matters, because again, we want him to have HIS ring, the ring he got married in. And while one day we may upgrade his ring, we certainly don't want some random ring thrown at us by a jeweler who wanted to wash his hands of us. That's like replacing a ring with fantastic sentimental value with a ring that just agitates us and puts a bad taste in our mouth.

And - to be clear - my husband certainly did not give any impression to the jeweler that he was going to wear the new ring, nor did he ASK for the new ring. He was visibly upset about what had happened to HIS ring (and honestly - not even as much that as that the jeweler took the project on without telling us he was not confident in the ability to do so - and then charged us/gave us the ring back without even telling us it was messed up - we noticed it after we left the store) - and the jeweler said 'look we both know that me reimbursing you back doesn't fix this, but we can't fix it - so the best i can do is give you a new ring so that i'm basically replacing what i ruined.'

And it's not exactly helpful or useful sitting in a jewelry box.

 

[totheleft]

I don't know about these ethics questions. The jeweler offered a new ring, the jeweler is a tradesperson, the jeweler knows exactly what he/she was giving away. It was a generous offer, no question, but there is nothing wrong with accepting it.

Point of fact, the jeweler made a pretty big mistake (thinking the alloy would be no problem when it actually was a problem), and probably calculated that it was worth the value of the new ring to have a customer walking away thinking "X jeweler is generous and really took care of me when there was trouble" rather than "x jeweler is an idiot who doesn't know his/her alloys."

....I do think that the offer of a ring was a clear gesture of "we ruined this and can't fix it, sorry."

Yes, and the jeweler is huge on online reviews. He basically bought himself out of a crappy review on Yelp.. though my husband still wants to tell the story on yelp - with the disclaimer that the man financially covered his ass, if not having rectified the emotional part of it!

 

[ruby59]

JMO, of course, but the seller offered the platinum band as compensation. If he did not think he was culpable, he would not have offered it. I can understand where the OP's husband is coming from. Engagement rings and wedding bands are not interchangeable. Her husband feels strongly about wanting to wear the wedding band he was married in, and I am sure that came over loud and clear to the jeweler.

The jeweler should have done some reasearch into 585 platinum before doing the work. And you can do another search to see that the OP would probably be lucky to get 1/3 to 1/2 of that price selling it on the secondary market. Ebay is flooded with platinum wedding bands, and they just sit there.

I do not see a winfall at all. All I see is a wedding band that in this couple's eyes cannot just simply be replaced. They are entitled to offset that with the proceeds from the other band to make theirs more presentable.

 

[audball]

JMO, of course, but the seller offered the platinum band as compensation. If he did not think he was culpable, he would not have offered it. I can understand where the OP's husband is coming from. Engagement rings and wedding bands are not interchangeable. Her husband feels strongly about wanting to wear the wedding band he was married in, and I am sure that came over loud and clear to the jeweler.

The jeweler should have done some reasearch into 585 platinum before doing the work. And you can do another search to see that the OP would probably be lucky to get 1/3 to 1/2 of that price selling it on the secondary market. Ebay is flooded with platinum wedding bands, and they just sit there.

I do not see a winfall at all. All I see is a wedding band that in this couple's eyes cannot just simply be replaced. They are entitled to offset that with the proceeds from the other band to make theirs more presentable.

VERY well said. I don't get the ethics question either...they didn't demand it, the jeweler offered it because they screwed up. OF COURSE it doesn't replace his wedding band, it never could.

 

[totheleft]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

I sold it for scrap platinum to my jeweler today toward another project (total: $320). And they can't fix my husband's wedding band.

So, I'm "ahead" a few dollars, but his ring was not fixed. He'll still wear it, but no profit in my mind.

 

[Jim Summa]

Hi totheleft,
I have experience working with Platinum, but have never worked with the 585 alloy so I held off with any advice.

What I can tell you is I called a Platinum expert who had given a lecture at an AGS conclave a couple years ago about using a laser welder with Platinum.

He told me that there are 2 alloys with 585 Platinum...one using copper and one using base metal (Zinc?).

The trick on sizing your ring is to use a laser welder with the same alloy as your ring. I am assuming that you had the ring sized down, so you would have (or hopefully be able to get back) the piece that was cut out to size the band. This would allow the shop with the laser to weld the same metal as the ring....so no seam would show.

Since I have never come across this alloy I quizzed him pretty hard about any Goblins (brittleness, flaking, color change) that come from working this alloy and he told me it is pretty straighforward...

Hope this helps and good luck!