Ugh - Am I turning into THAT girl?!

[IrishEyes08]

I think I have gone insane. I told myself a few weeks ago to lay off the wedding/engagement talk. BF never said anything, but I suspect I was becoming a little overbearing with it all, so I took a step back.

Yesterday we had a fabulous day together, just spending a really nice, chill Sunday together. And it was all I could do not to ask "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO PROPOSE?!?!?". I didn''t, but it was tough.

The more he talks about his finances and how excited he is to have all this extra money and to save and pay down debt, etc. the more it seems that buying a ring isn''t at the top of his priority list right now. I had thought we''d be engaged by June, but now I am doubting myself.

Tell me I shouldn''t ask. I want to be surprised. We looked at rings last summer, talked extensively about the type of wedding we want, our future family and house and our lives together. I know we''ll get married, it''s an issue of how soon, not if ever. We''ve been living together over a year, are aiming for a spring/fall 2010 wedding. There''s plenty of time to plan, etc. but I WANT TO KNOW NOW!

 

[tlh]

Some guys talk about saving money, and paying down debt, to show stability, a promise of your future together, unclouded by debt. That is exciting, but isn''t what we women hear at all. He may be subtley telling you, that he''s saving money... (ring)

But I''d also listen to see if he talks a lot about this great future and a lot of we''s and us''s... you said you''ve been shopping and looking together... that is a good step... lay off your talking, and listen, see what clues he''s giving you... the SAVING money clue, is a good one.

 

[IrishEyes08]

I know, you''re right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said "next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we''re filing jointly." Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Maybe hes so excited to share paying off his debt and getting his finances together because hes waiting to tackle the debt before getting the ring?

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

It sounds like he is trying to tackle his debt first, which is really great. I think it shows that he is looking forward to the future AND is excited about it. He may not be saying the words saving and ring in the same sentence just yet, but there is no need to worry. Guys tend to think about things differently and I believe it is his way of showing you he is getting ready.

So, don''t ask just yet. Give it time and like TLH said LISTEN. Listen to how he phrases conversations and when he talks about the two of you. You will probably learn a lot more by just doing that.

 

[musey]

Date: 2/9/2009 5:49:49 PM
Author: IrishEyes08
I know, you're right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said 'next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we're filing jointly.' Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

It sounds like he's got you guys on a much faster track than you'd anticipated if you're going to be filing jointly next year!!!!! That spells 2009 wedding!

Sorry, I didn't mean that in a "get your hopes up" way...

You guys are obviously on the same page. If you've talked about a wedding sometime in or before fall 2010, and it's been mutually agreed upon, then of COURSE you are on the same page. Not being on the same page would be if he wanted fall 2010 and you wanted this summer.

Don't worry about it so much

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

Date: 2/9/2009 5:49:49 PM
Author: IrishEyes08
I know, you''re right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said ''next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we''re filing jointly.'' Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

Somehow I missed this.. I would say you are for sure on the same page! Filing jointly!? Yep, sounds like same page.

 

[tlh]

Date: 2/9/2009 5:49:49 PM
Author: IrishEyes08
I know, you''re right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said ''next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we''re filing jointly.'' Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

That is when you say... man weddings take a lot longer than you think to plan... and the tax deadline for next year is Dec 31 of THIS YEAR....
interesting development!

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Date: 2/9/2009 8:22:31 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 2/9/2009 5:49:49 PM

Author: IrishEyes08

I know, you''re right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said ''next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we''re filing jointly.'' Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

That is when you say... man weddings take a lot longer than you think to plan... and the tax deadline for next year is Dec 31 of THIS YEAR....

interesting development!

YES! You need to talk to your SO and tell him how long it takes to plan! (How exciting, though

)

 

[xoxo]

Hi IrishEyes, from what you have added it does seem like he already have everything planned out towards getting engaged soon. Like what Definitely,Maybe said it is such a good thing that he is taking care of all his debts so that's a great thing. Also since he brought up about filing together by next year maybe that's a great way for you to bring up the subject again and ask. hope that helps

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 2/9/2009 5:49:49 PM
Author: IrishEyes08
I know, you''re right. It is a big clue. I am just venting a bit. Ironically immediately after I posted this he called to talk about our tax returns and said ''next year our taxes are going to be much more complicated when we''re filing jointly.'' Soooo... maybe we are on the same page?!

oooh! Good sign!

 

[jcarlylew]

i think he is on the right track - i know its hard!you have us to lean on!