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Trading in, trading up...?

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Junkenpo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
115
Kinda long...sorry!

I''m not officially enganged, however...bf and I have been discussing "the future" a lot recently...

...here''s my dilemma...

BF has the e-ring he gave to his ex-fiancee (they were high school sweeties & she broke it off 3yrs before he & i started dating). He purchased it from a B&M w/a trade-up policy saying it can be traded in for credit toward something double the original price. The ex-ring is worth $2.5k. The idea of having a ring worth around $5k makes me swoon...thats a lot of money in my book.

My problem? Originally I said I wanted to pick my own ring, but now I''m intimidated with the idea of actually going into the store & looking at diamonds and haggling the list price. I told him I''d research, get him specs & setting suggestions & let him do the purchasing.

I know a little too much...what I want in color & clarity & cut... and not enough...how to judge a good cut & how much I should expect to pay so as not to get snookered.... and everything I''ve read on PS & elsewhere emphasize "Cut is King".

If I had not known about having the other ring to trade in, I''d''ve been happy with a 40-50pt G/VS2... which I''m pretty sure he could purchase for much less that $5k...

...but if he''s going to spend $2k on ME anyway...why not put it toward a nicer/bigger diamond?

But I don''t know what to expect from a B&M...how much do they actually mark-up? How much can BF expect to them to discount? What kind of increase in carat weight (assuming we get the best cut in a G/VS2 )can I actually expect? I wear a ring size 4, I always thought a 1/2ct looked "big enough" and I''m afraid of looking show-offy (in my circles
) if I can go larger.

(sigh) And why am so freaked out??? LOL

I have to keep reminding myself there''s no time limit... although I know he won''t officially propose until he''s got that ring!

And he can''t the ring until I know what I want....

...and I don''t know what I want....!!!

Sorry that was so long...and I appreciate any and all comments/suggestions/help I can get!!!
Thanks!!
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
I''m sorry I have no advice - but congrats and I wish you the best!!
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
Junkenpo,

If you''re afraid of going a lot bigger, remember, your fiance can always spend the remaining $ on the setting, your matching wedding band, and his wedding band. Your setting alone (depending on diamonds, platinum vs. white gold, designer) could eat up $2k alone.
 

Junkenpo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
115
Thanks for that suggestion!


I''ll have him dig out his ring papers to see if the trade has to be ring-for-ring or if it just covers total purchase amount. I like the idea of getting the matching bands....

...I''ve got little fingers, so I''ve ruled out a fancy setting (you wouldn''t see much anyway!) .. I want a simple 4prong solitaire in platinum.

LOL.. I''ve spent hours on these forums today, my eyes hurt! I gotta learn to pace myself... I just found the links to Good Old Gold and peeked at the settings... love the vatche comfort fit royal x-prong... hmmmm...
 

E B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 31, 2005
Messages
9,488
Date: 2/4/2007 12:47:25 AM
Author: Junkenpo

Thanks for that suggestion!


I'll have him dig out his ring papers to see if the trade has to be ring-for-ring or if it just covers total purchase amount. I like the idea of getting the matching bands....

...I've got little fingers, so I've ruled out a fancy setting (you wouldn't see much anyway!) .. I want a simple 4prong solitaire in platinum.

LOL.. I've spent hours on these forums today, my eyes hurt! I gotta learn to pace myself... I just found the links to Good Old Gold and peeked at the settings... love the vatche comfort fit royal x-prong... hmmmm...
I love the Vatche X-Prong! Another gorgeous Vatche is the Royal Crown, if you haven't seen it yet.

ETA: Although hers isn't a Vatche, here's PS member Blenheim's gorgeous .56ct x-prong e-ring:

Blenheim's e-ring

(Hope it's okay that I posted your ring, Blen!)
 

justjulia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2006
Messages
2,308
Ok, first of all, that is a good question whether you can get 100% and it has to go into one diamond or can be spread out. The B&M my husband purchased from has a policy that you only have to spend 1$ more to trade up a solitaire diamond (whether that be for a pendant, earrings, or the engagement ring diamond-as long as it was purchased as a loose diamond) but if you want to trade anything else bought there, they give 100% if you spend that much again. See? So, I am wondering if you have the whole story- make sure the facts are what they are, since it has been a while since he purchased there. If you can spread out the money, then you can get another slightly different diamond (upgrade color, clarity, or size) and put the rest into a setting of your choice. If you have to spend the 100% on the diamond alone, then consider the old stone a down payment (by trading in) for your fabulous stone that he chose specifically for you! Also, don''t be afraid to go in there and look. You might fall head over heels for a fancy cut that you would have never thought you would remotely like-and you know pears and marquise tend to look larger for their weight than they actually are (possibly ovals, too). I think you should be involved in the looking--they are working for YOU! Go and be bedazled. It''s supposed to be fun!
 

Junkenpo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
115
Date: 2/4/2007 8:42:10 AM
Author: justjulia
Ok, first of all, that is a good question whether you can get 100% and it has to go into one diamond or can be spread out. The B&M my husband purchased from has a policy that you only have to spend 1$ more to trade up a solitaire diamond (whether that be for a pendant, earrings, or the engagement ring diamond-as long as it was purchased as a loose diamond) but if you want to trade anything else bought there, they give 100% if you spend that much again. See? So, I am wondering if you have the whole story- make sure the facts are what they are, since it has been a while since he purchased there. If you can spread out the money, then you can get another slightly different diamond (upgrade color, clarity, or size) and put the rest into a setting of your choice. If you have to spend the 100% on the diamond alone, then consider the old stone a down payment (by trading in) for your fabulous stone that he chose specifically for you! Also, don''t be afraid to go in there and look. You might fall head over heels for a fancy cut that you would have never thought you would remotely like-and you know pears and marquise tend to look larger for their weight than they actually are (possibly ovals, too). I think you should be involved in the looking--they are working for YOU! Go and be bedazled. It''s supposed to be fun!
Thanks Julia! I''m definetely having him look for his papers to see exactly what the trade-in policy is...

I think I''m just intimidated by the idea of spending that much money.... and probably having to take up so much of a SAs time. Right now I feel like I have to pick something "perfect" for me now b/c I''m still holding onto the romance of the idea that I will "never never" trade in/up the ring I''m getting... lol... although I recognize I might feel differently in the years ahead...

I didn''t agonize this much when I had to buy my 1st car...and that was waaaay more money....and of course, way less permanent, and unlike a diamond, depreciates over time... lol..... I guess that helps me put things into perspective, too...
 

FacetFire

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Messages
1,879
Honestly, the first time my FI and I went into a store to look at rings, I was a bit freaked out too. It''s a funny, scary, exciting, big moment! It took visiting several shops with him before I settled down a bit. I don''t know why, but I was nervous. I guess just because it was a big moment. I also never dreamed I''d end up with a ring as big as the one he gave me. I always told myself that 1 carat was perfect, 1.5 was amazing, and 2 was beyond my wildest dreams (and maybe too big). Now I have 2.3 carats on my finger, and it doesn''t seem that big anymore! :) It''s crazy how comfortable you get wearing something expensive on your finger. SO, I guess my advice is to go look...it''s normal to be a bit nervous, don''t worry about it. And go for the bigger stone! Trust me, it won''t be long before you are REALLY happy that you went bigger. You are lucky to have the old ring to put toward a nicer, bigger one for you! You deserve it! You are the one he''s gonna marry! Good luck, and remember to enjoy it!!
 

upgrading mama

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2005
Messages
1,826
congratulations!!

now, breathe, and enjoy this wonderful time. :) I would have to agree with the others, that you should go in and try on many different sizes and styles. There are people on this site with smaller ring sizes (think 2) that were very large stones, or fancy settings, so your ring size could handle a fancy setting, if you choose.

Also, since your BF needs to double the original price, than I would just try to come to terms with that or I think the only other choice is to try and sell it on Ebay or a paws shop, and risk losing money.

Here is a lovely set from Ben Bridge and maybe you could get another band to wear on the other side too??

http://www.benbridge.com/store/catalog/Diamond-wedding-set-14K-p-8392.html#detail_image

or this princess

http://www.benbridge.com/store/catalog/Diamond-ring-in-platinum-p-8382.html#detail_image
 

Junkenpo

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 28, 2007
Messages
115
Date: 2/4/2007 7:10:49 PM
Author: Sophie
congratulations!!

now, breathe, and enjoy this wonderful time. :) I would have to agree with the others, that you should go in and try on many different sizes and styles. There are people on this site with smaller ring sizes (think 2) that were very large stones, or fancy settings, so your ring size could handle a fancy setting, if you choose.

Also, since your BF needs to double the original price, than I would just try to come to terms with that or I think the only other choice is to try and sell it on Ebay or a paws shop, and risk losing money.

Here is a lovely set from Ben Bridge and maybe you could get another band to wear on the other side too??

http://www.benbridge.com/store/catalog/Diamond-wedding-set-14K-p-8392.html#detail_image

or this princess

http://www.benbridge.com/store/catalog/Diamond-ring-in-platinum-p-8382.html#detail_image
Would you believe... with all this information at the tips of my fingers, I hadn''t gone to BB website? lol... I used to work in the mall where BB is, so the sales ladies are used to me breezing in and out & sighing over the jewelry... they''re nice to me b/c I bought my dad''s very expensive christmas watch from them....but I''m shy about hovering too near/too long around the e-ring section.... lol. It''s a small community, and I don''t want to get caught out before anything is "official"!
 
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