shape
carat
color
clarity
  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. PriceScope Upgrade Completed
    For issues, questions and comments click the link below
    https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/pricescope-upgraded-comments-and-issues.229551/

    Dismiss Notice

Too much pressure

Discussion in 'Proposal Ideas' started by MarlonN, Nov 21, 2016.

  1. MarlonN
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    47
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2016
    by MarlonN » Nov 21, 2016
    I don't know if ladies truly appreciate the amount of pressure that a guy goes under in order to pull off the best proposal he can, and how they worry about being able to create a unique memory for their chosen one - but I'm hoping that in the future we'll see more ladies proposing instead. What do you feel about that?
     
    sachiemay and valeria101 like this.
  2. elizabethess
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    182
    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    by elizabethess » Nov 23, 2016
    It depends on the individual lady, of course! Some ladies love a romantic swoon-fest and MORE POWER TO THEM, and bless the partners who give them a big production. And let's be honest, some men do actually enjoy creating the big production! Then there are some ladies (like me! :wavey:) who have zero interest in a grand proposal.

    I found out, after the fact, that my husband had initially planned a very grand proposal, that involved a series of clues that would start with a card left on my car after work and lead me home, then eventually to the spot of our first kiss, where he would be at the end of a candlelit path on bended knee. He actually got so worked up and nervous about it the night before he was going to propose that he couldn't sleep and ended up getting a terrible migraine the next day and didn't follow through.

    After talking to me more and really listening to me he realized that MY perfect proposal was to simply be honestly and sincerely asked during a quiet moment between the two of us. He was putting pressure on himself to create floof and drama that really wasn't my thing. So a day or two later he just came up behind me in his kitchen and popped down on one knee.

    I still have a box with all his clues and the candles and stuff. It's sweet, but I am so thankful he changed plans! :lol:
     
  3. MarlonN
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    47
    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2016
    by MarlonN » Nov 24, 2016
    Reading through your post, I couldn't help recalling the one episode on Desperate Housewives (Don't say it, I know...) where Lynette's husband Tom tried to do that whole 'romantic' leaving clues and all that, and something went wrong and Lynette ended up stranded alone on a lonely road at night. I have to agree that sometimes simpler is better.
     
  4. Jacquiemalta
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    4
    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2017
    by Jacquiemalta » Jan 27, 2017
    I like to watch elaborate proposals on TV/youtube or whatever but wouldn't particularly want one myself, especially if it involved being the centre of attention in public. Not my style at all. You know your lady though so trust your gut.

    Regarding women proposing, I know a guy who was proposed to and secretly felt a bit cheated out of his moment - he never told his wife though. I know he intends to "propose" a renewal of their vows after 5 years of marriage.
     
  5. MattP725
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    13
    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2017
    by MattP725 » May 3, 2017
    My personal opinion is that by the time of the proposal, your SO should know you well enough to know if you put thought and effort into it or not. I've heard some horror stories of guys just proposing on the couch at home or even tossing the ring box at their SO after a fight as a guilt trip. I think its all about expressing your thoughtfulness and I agree with the other poster that I don't think most women want to be part of a flash mob or made to feel like a spectacle. It should be a special moment (obviously) between you two and bigger isn't ALWAYS better.

    I don't like the idea of women proposing but I do still have some old school mentalities. I think it is a gesture in chivalry and a tradition I wouldn't want to see change.
     
  6. Austina
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    512
    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2017
    by Austina » May 7, 2017
    I'm like @elizabethess, I'm sorry, I just don't get why the proposal has to be a huge drama and event. Why not just say "I love you and I want to marry you"? Surely it's the sentiment that matters and not some elaborate scheme to stage it? Maybe I'm just not romantic, but it didn't matter to me that we were sitting in the car talking, after a night out, when my husband told me he wanted to marry me. It didn't mean he loved me any less than if he'd concocted some elaborate scenario, the result was the same. We've been married 38 years now.
     
    ILikeShiny and ctyke like this.
  7. valeria101
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,305
    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2003
    by valeria101 » Jun 18, 2017
    Never knew why the dread - by the time you are asking, you do know the answer
     
  8. ILikeShiny
    Shiny_Rock

    Messages:
    393
    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2015
    by ILikeShiny » Jun 18, 2017
    This is an interesting perspective, because it implies that us women want something grand and unique. I think that if you were to take a poll you'd find that most of us want something sentimental more than grand.

    My boyfriend and I had this discussion a few months ago when we started talking about designing my engagement ring. He was acting a little "off" and when I asked what was up he said he was just feeling nervous about planning the perfect proposal. So he put the pressure on himself; I didn't. I'm so glad we had that talk, because I was able to reassure him that grand, elaborate proposals weren't my thing and I was sure that if he just thought about us and what was special between us it would be wonderful. I told him it could be as simple as overlooking a beautiful spot that we rested at during a bike ride, or the top of a mountain we hiked, or simply holding each other while watching a sunset together. It doesn't take being serenaded by concert violinists while doves are released in the background... just pure, honest exchange of love and emotions. That'll get a girl every time.
     
  9. sachiemay
    Rough_Rock

    Messages:
    40
    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2017
    by sachiemay » Jun 24, 2017
    I'm the kind of woman that appreciates the plan of grand romantic gestures and the execution of all of the details to honor his lady by expressing his love through creativity tailored to adoring her. Those make the best stories, imo.
     
  10. aljdewey
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    9,129
    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2002
    by aljdewey » Jun 27, 2017
    "I've heard some horror stories of guys just proposing on the couch at home".....

    That's a horror story? In my opinion, far from it.

    My (now) husband did just that. We'd woken up late, cooked a late breakfast together, and spent a cold New England Sunday together cuddling and watching movies. Into the evening, he remarked what an awesome day we'd spent, how easy it was to be together, and how he wanted to spend the rest of his days that way.

    I can tell you there was nothing horrific about it; I was touched that he was moved in the moment and decided to just say how he felt. I was not surprised he proposed, but very surprised he proposed then. We spent the next few weeks picking out the perfect ring together, and I wouldn't change a thing.

    Grand gestures sound like winners, but I'd honestly rather have heartfelt sincerity that lasts a lifetime than worrying about a story for the sake of impressing others. Our story impresses me, and that's just fine by me. :)
     

Share This Page