too many weddings!

[leoslove730]

FF and I already have 3 weddings lined up for next year, one as soon as January. I am SOOOOOO not looking forward to attending any of them because I know that we''re gonna get the "geesh - you guys have been together for a long time, so when''s it gonna be your turn????" questions, that are ultimately only going to end up upsetting me. We get asked that anytime we attend a wedding.

Anyways, I''m wondering what the best way to deal with those kind of topics, or even better, how to throw people off so that they will shut up?

Another thing I am wondering is, do I HAVE to line up to catch the bouquet? I mean, seriously, I have my guy already and we are planning on getting engaged and married to each other, so is it necessary for me to get up there and look like an ass fighting over the bouquet? Even though I am with my guy, I still get dragged up there because I am "single" when it comes to my marital status.

Gawd, how I hate weddings!

 

[mimzy]

argh, that is the worst! i think/guess the best way to deal with that would be to maybe point out the things that you have done both separately and together recently (maybe you could bend your own rule a little and look at a few houses first just for kicks), and then mention that you are pacing yourselves.

but who knows! you might be fretting for nothing and will have your own sparkly ring by then!

and absolutely no you do not have to get in that bouquet lineup! slip out of the room once the time comes if you have to, but absolutely do not let them force you into it! if all else fails, grab your guy and make sure he knows to let them know that you are indeed spoken for

 

[baby monster]

In my mind, anyone with any sense of tact and decorum would not ask such stupid questions

. It''s nobody''s business when you get married (well, I''ll make an exception for your mother LOL). Your friends know that you have a great relationship and will eventually get married. Only busybodies who like to gossip and don''t mean you well ask such personal questions but you shouldn''t give them the satisfaction of seeing you get upset. Just smile sweetly and say: "Well, marriage is so much hard work. We''re just trying to savor the good times and enjoy every day."

And no, you don''t have to catch the bouquet if you don''t want to. If you''re feeling peer pressure, just go hang out in the restroom for a few min untl the bouquet is thrown.

 

[*RubyRN*]

Been there.. all summer, in fact!

It can be hard to graciously respond to the "when are you guys getting engaged?" questions. I used to get really irritated and just stupidly say"I don''t know"; then I started saying "ask him" LOL to put him on the spot and make him see why it was frustrating for me.. nothin like making them squirm to put a little pressure on them! Actually, at the last wedding we went to, a girlfriend asked me "so when do you think he''s finally gonna pop the question?" to which I replied in a hushed, excited manner, "I don''t want to say, I''d hate to steal ____''s thunder on her wedding day". HAHAHA they all starting talking and thinking I was about to get engaged. That kept em quiet for a while.

Actually, my friends haven''t mentioned it since!

 

[gwendolyn]

Oh, that was my year last year! I think in all I went to 8 weddings last year--blarg. Here's what I have to say about your stuff:

1. If they ask you nosy and intrusive questions, feel free to a) ask 'em right back, or b) shut them up by telling them you'll let them know when you are officially engaged and then change the topic.

2. I hate the bouquet toss too. I either excuse myself to go to the bathroom as I see them preparing for it, or my friend Kelly (who's been with her man for 6 1/2 years and who says he won't marry her) drags me off to go to the bathroom before I have a chance to make it look like a coincidence.

 

[Sassee]

I NEVER partipate in the bridal bouquet bun fight. I find it so degrading! Thankfully most of the weddings I''ve been to recently have not involved such a thing!!

8 weddings Gwen? That''s amazing!

We have had lots of weddings to attend in the last 3 years.

Now 2 of my dear friends are getting hitched next year (one in May, the other in October).

The worst thing for us is that we actually have a proposed wedding date of June next year. So we are currently attending engagements/weddings etc where people are saying "when''s it going to be your turn?". I feel like saying "actually, we are planning on getting hitched in June 08"... but i can''t because its not official yet!

As for you LL, I understand your pain but there isn''t much you can say except for "when we are ready" which is a standard line. I would never say "when HE is ready" otherwise it can put him off side (even if it is totally 100% true!!). The other way is to tackle it with humour such as by retorting with "in about 2020" or "why would I want to go and do a silly thing like that?". Just stir them up with tongue firmly planted in cheek, so that they know to back off a bit...

It is upsetting but people often miss the famous "sensitivity chip" and think they are making light hearted conversation when in reality it is often something that really touches a nerve for us girls... especially when we are devoting ourselves to a forum like this. i.e. we WANT to be engaged and married, but these things aren''t a one-man show. They require participation from the other half, and if the other half isn''t on the same page in terms of timing/commitment etc, then it can throw a bit of a spanner in the works!

 

[Aloros]

It''s been wedding central here too. Bf and I just went to my cousin''s wedding last Saturday, have another one to go to next weekend (and this one''s on the fast track - three months dating, three months engagement). Just go and have a good time! Good food, good company (?).

If people ask when I''m getting engaged or married, I just say "later" and laugh it off. Sure, it''s a little bit uncomfortable, but these people are probably a little intoxicated and have good intentions.

My sister''s one of the few people who knows that he has the ring, so she kept telling people to ask me at my cousin''s wedding. Brat!

 

[leoslove730]

Thanks for all of the advice! I really love the "later" response, Aloros. A short and simple as it is, it''s brilliant!

I have a feeling that from now until the end of the year there are going to me a number of new engagements popping up with people we know, just because everyone seems like they are at that point where it is "the thing to do". Oh brother - I''m just trying to stay positive and brace myself for this bridal wave that is going on. It sucks.

 

[Delster]

I agree with Aloros, these people are usually a little tipsy and normally they mean well - they genuinely want to see you happy and are looking forward to celebrating with you. I''m gentle with these ones! The ones who are just being spiteful or nosey, though, they get an arched eyebrow and a "when we feel like it"!!!

It''s funny though, cos over here people very rarely ask when you''re going to get engaged. Instead, they ask "sooooooo... when are you going to give us a good day out?" (or ''an excuse to dress up'' or ''a party'' etc etc...) I always fob them off cos two of my cousins are getting married next year and I say that they''ve got those parties to look forward to. But what am I gonna do after those cousins get married?!?