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To those naturally really thin

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lilylover

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Not sure if I''ll get any support here as it seems most of you are trying to loose a few pounds, but here it goes.

I''ve always been naturally really thin (except for a two year period when I was on BC and gained 15 pounds!!) and recently I am becoming hurt by comments that I have read/heard (not on this site) about "REAL women with REAL curves."

Sorry, but I am a real woman! I don''t try to be this way, I just am. It hurts to think that people would look at me and think that I am doing something drastic to be as thin as I am and that I am not a "real" woman.

I am 5ft 4in, weigh 108lbs. and wear a size 0. I don''t personally feel that I look too thin (I have a small frame) but sometimes I wonder and it makes me self-conscious. I''d LOVE to have bigger breasts (32b, here!) and I wouldn''t mind a bubblier butt.

Anyway, not really sure what I am trying to say here, just needed somewhere to vent. :)
 

soocool

Ideal_Rock
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I understand where you are coming from. I am about 5''9" and weigh about 130 lbs. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I am in my 50s. When I was in my teens and twenties I weighed about 110- 115 lbs. My mom freaked out and thought I must be anemic or something because she dragged me to the doctor who put me on these nutritional supplements to help me gain weight. Otherwise, I was very healthy. (This was in the early 70''s). I drank 2 of these each day (I was only supposed to have 1 a day, but I liked they way they tasted) and did not gain any weight. I was so mad with my mom about this and she was quite overweight most of her life. This is my natural metabolism and I am happy. I eat whatever I like, but II do watch what I eat...low cholesterol, low saturated fats, and easy on the carbs, plus no soda whatsoever. People always ask me what diet I am on and when I say that I have never dieted in my life they look at me strangely.

Now my daughter (16) evidently takes after me and is tall and thin and I know she eats well. But one girl in school who is somewhat overweight and hates it when people call her fat, finds it necessary to tell my daughter that something is wrong with her because she is so thin. She is 5"8" and about 110 lbs.

I don''t understand people''s insensitivities either and just let it go as jealousy. I have never commented on someone else''s weight because I know it is not right.
 

canuk-gal

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HI:

I understand what you are saying. Because of my size, other''s have always assumed I have an issue with food/eating. I cannot tell you how many times I''ve been out at a party, only for another woman to comment that they are "gratified to see me eating". Very hurtful. My sister finds similar comments come her way. I don''t have an issue wiht my weight and size, but apparently others do. My DH is 6''4" and 190 lbs, muscular, athletic and lean. He has never faced the same kind of comments from male colleagues/friends/acquaintences.

My sister and I are both small framed and what would be considered by most, as "thin". I don''t think about my weight and size--b/c I am what I am.

cheers--Sharon
 

JulieN

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Sure, it''s easy to get offended by comments like that. I used to.

But, you know, it''s cool. women who say that aren''t mad at other skinny women. They''re mad at the pressure to be thin. It''s not personal.
 

Haven

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I''m not naturally thin, but I have a good friend who is. It sounds like she''s in a bit of a different situation than you, because she does look like she is "too thin." She''s been on the receiving end of a lot of hurtful comments throughout her entire life, and now at 30 she''s finally learning to just let them roll off her back. It''s been hard to see her cry after a dance teacher told her it''s okay to talk about her issues with food, or after a random guy yelled out "Eat something!" when he passed us on a bike path. It''s horrible and mean, and I really don''t think people understand how much their comments can affect others.

She cannot gain weight. She once spent an entire two-week winter break sitting on her couch eating high fat foods in an effort to put on pounds. She literally sat in one place and ate for fourteen days. It didn''t work. She is thin, and that''s how it''s always going to be.

Honestly, as someone who has no idea how it feels to not be able to put on extra weight, I didn''t know how hurtful the thin comments could be before we became good friends. Now I know, but my guess is that most people don''t really grasp that ANY comments about a person''s weight are hurtful, not just the ones about being too heavy.

I suppose that as soon as you are comfortable with who you are and what you look like, the comments will have less bite. Until then, try to remember that people say a lot of things out of ignorance or jealousy rather than malice.
 

Phoenix

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I think any criticism about someone else's weight, be it "you're too thin, or you're too fat" or anything similar is just mean, mean, mean!!

Some people just have a higher metabolism, some have a lower metabolism. We're all different and we have different builts too.

Why can't people just see that being fit and healthy is the most important thing (?!). ARRRRGGHHHH!!

(Btw, 32B is not small! That's what I am now and I LOVE it!
. Clothes fit much better and when men talk to you, they look at your eyes instead of to your chest!

I have a curvy butt, small hips (now) but my butt kind of jutts out a bit. Believe you me, it's better to have a smaller butt, it sags a lot less when you get older and you don't have to do as much butt exercise!
).
 

White Orchid

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We''re just a little green with envy! Every day I look in the mirror and I feel SO FAT at size 10! No matter how hard I work I just can''t lose any weight! The worst part is I know I''m actually a healthy size... I just really miss being skinny!

So on behalf of us jealous women, I apologize for taking our frustrations out on the skinny girls. It ain''t right and in my life I make every attempt to not act that way. My husband on the other hand... he''s not so tactful!



Btw, I''d kill for 32B boobs! I''m 36DD and finding good bras is such a chore! Worse still, I can''t wear low cut tops or those really cute V-neck wrap-type shirts without looking like a skank! But thank you for starting this topic, I am now sufficiently motivated to go work out!
 

vespergirl

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I think part of the problem is that overweight and obese has become the new "normal" in the US. Since 60% of American women are now overweight or obese, then medium to thin women are viewed as "too thin," even though that size is the actual healthy weight.

Don''t feel bad about yourself - it sounds like you have a lovely body. As long as you are eating a healthy diet and exercising, you should fell good about yourself.
 

vespergirl

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I also wanted to add that for some women, being very thin can also be healthy. My MIL was 5''3" and only weighed 85 pounds when she got married. She is a good eater - that''s just her metabolism. Now that she''s in her 60s and weighs around 115, she says that she feels "huge" compared to her old body (she wears a 4!) I also have several aunts who eat carbs every day, and they are 5''10" and around 125. They are also in their 60s, and it''s always been their metabolism. They are all extremely healthy.

You should be happy that as you age, even if you gain the normal few pounds as your metabolism slows, you''ll still be thin!
 

elrohwen

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I''m somewhat naturally thin, but not nearly as much as you. I''m 5''9.5" and have always been around 140-145lbs (now 5lbs heavier ... grrr ... ). Anyway, that''s not ridiculously thin by any means, yet I have gotten the comments too. If we have an office party and I decline a piece of cake (I''m just picky about cake and don''t like the grocery store kind) I get comments "You''re too skinny! You should eat cake." "Oh, *you* don''t need to diet. You''re so skinny already." And if I do ever eat less in order to lose these 5+lbs I''ve put on in the last year or so, the comments get even worse. Just because I''m a healthy weight doesn''t mean I''m not allowed to eat healthier too


I think it stems from jealousy; with so much of the population significantly overweight now, there''s gotta be a lot of jealousy for the naturally thin people. And even though I see myself as 5-10lbs over my ideal weight, I know a lot of women would kill to look like me (as I would kill to look like the women who are my height and naturally 130lbs
). The majority of people always want to be a little bit skinnier or a little more beautiful or whatever, and sometimes that desire comes out as hurtful comments towards others. Just try to let them roll off your back, even though they can definitely be hurtful sometimes.
 

soocool

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Date: 3/25/2009 4:04:14 PM
Author: elrohwen
I''m somewhat naturally thin, but not nearly as much as you. I''m 5''9.5'' and have always been around 140-145lbs (now 5lbs heavier ... grrr ... ). Anyway, that''s not ridiculously thin by any means, yet I have gotten the comments too. If we have an office party and I decline a piece of cake (I''m just picky about cake and don''t like the grocery store kind) I get comments ''You''re too skinny! You should eat cake.'' ''Oh, *you* don''t need to diet. You''re so skinny already.'' And if I do ever eat less in order to lose these 5+lbs I''ve put on in the last year or so, the comments get even worse. Just because I''m a healthy weight doesn''t mean I''m not allowed to eat healthier too


I think it stems from jealousy; with so much of the population significantly overweight now, there''s gotta be a lot of jealousy for the naturally thin people. And even though I see myself as 5-10lbs over my ideal weight, I know a lot of women would kill to look like me (as I would kill to look like the women who are my height and naturally 130lbs
). The majority of people always want to be a little bit skinnier or a little more beautiful or whatever, and sometimes that desire comes out as hurtful comments towards others. Just try to let them roll off your back, even though they can definitely be hurtful sometimes.
I feel exactly the same way. I am in my 50s and comments about my weight doesn''t bother me at all anymore, but it does when someone comments about my daughter''s weight.At the end of the school year, the school ,along with the final report card, sends out a letter with your child''s weight and BMI. My daughter''s is BMI was something like 14, below the norm. I just threw the paper out. She was so concerned and her doctor told her, consider yourself lucky. Most girls would do anything to be like you and besides if you did not have enough body fat you would not be menstruating. That put her at ease hearing it from a doctor.

Currently I hover around 130 lbs (my weight first thing in the am when I weigh myself). I was around 115 when I got married. Though everyone says I am thin, I certainly don''t think so, because I remember how I used to look. Ihave never dieted, just make smart food choices. I''ll eat fruit before I''ll eat cake, but I never say no to ice cream. Another thing is that food fills me up rather quickly and I know to stop eating when I am full, instead of cleaning off my plate and feeling uncomfortably full.
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
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I too am sometimes hurt by the "real women have curves" and "you''re too thin" comments. I am a very small person--5''0" and about 90 lbs. Hips? Barely. Chest? 32A. Clothing size? Too small to be carried in pretty much any mainstream store. When I lose a little weight (it happens very easily if I get sick at all), I start getting the "eat a cheeseburger" comments, and it is so hurtful. I have had people offer me pamphlets about eating disorders. I think that the love-your-body propagandists should focus on just that--loving your body as it is--not just on loving "curves."
 

canuk-gal

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HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were "well". I replied "perfectly so". She responded, "are you sure"?

cheers--Sharon
 

Phoenix

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Date: 3/25/2009 8:42:28 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were ''well''. I replied ''perfectly so''. She responded, ''are you sure''?

cheers--Sharon
That''s SHOCKING!! She should be shot!
 

DiamondsforDee

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Date: 3/25/2009 8:42:28 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were ''well''. I replied ''perfectly so''. She responded, ''are you sure''?

cheers--Sharon
My little sister gets asked this everytime she gives blood too. Drives her nuts. I''m not as thin, but at 5''6", 115 lbs I get tons of comments about being thin if I don''t want cake or don''t want to go out to lunch. I love going out to lunch, but I bring my own lunch everyday and I try really hard not to waste money on going out to lunch. I have a wedding to pay for people!

It is definitely frustrating when people comment but I do agree that part of it stems from a misperception Americans have about weight. What is average is actually overweight so those of us below average are now being called too thin when in reality we are (ok most of us, some are definitely too thin) a normal healthy weight. Yes, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12, but not a 12 in todays sizes, a 12 in 1950s sizes, which is tantamount to a 4 or 6 today. But all you can do is brush it off and focus on why you love your body.
 

canuk-gal

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Date: 3/26/2009 12:52:38 PM
Author: DiamondsforDee

Date: 3/25/2009 8:42:28 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were ''well''. I replied ''perfectly so''. She responded, ''are you sure''?

cheers--Sharon
My little sister gets asked this everytime she gives blood too. Drives her nuts. I''m not as thin, but at 5''6'', 115 lbs I get tons of comments about being thin if I don''t want cake or don''t want to go out to lunch. I love going out to lunch, but I bring my own lunch everyday and I try really hard not to waste money on going out to lunch. I have a wedding to pay for people!

It is definitely frustrating when people comment but I do agree that part of it stems from a misperception Americans have about weight. What is average is actually overweight so those of us below average are now being called too thin when in reality we are (ok most of us, some are definitely too thin) a normal healthy weight. Yes, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12, but not a 12 in todays sizes, a 12 in 1950s sizes, which is tantamount to a 4 or 6 today. But all you can do is brush it off and focus on why you love your body.
HI:

I hear ya. I am sensible to the weight restriction the blood services collection agency has; it was being questioned further that threatened my integrity: I mean was I attempting to conceal simply something b/c I am smalll? We were a hetrogenous group donating and yet I was the only one questioned++, rather like discrimination. "Weight-ism''s" work both ways.....

cheers--Sharon
 

Julianna

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Just wanted to add my support.
5''9" here, 127 on a good day (130 on a bad one!). Sick and tired of people saying they''re "surprised" to see me eat. I eat plenty. I eat plenty of Froot Loops, plenty of bread, plenty of chocolate, plenty of steak, potatoes, cheese, you name it. My metabolism runs like a steam engine. If I skip a meal I lose a pound. Sick and tired of people spreading rumors about me being anorexic/bulemic/undereater. I eat three or four meals a day. I can''t help anyone but myself; everyone else needs to do what they need to do to keep themselves happy. Sick of people telling me I should stop working out because I don''t "need it". Yes I do! I want some effin'' muscle tone! The cake hurts my system as much as it hurts the next person''s! It''s just as bad for me as it is for the next person!

I''m happy at my weight, not worried about my smaller-than-Bs.
Feels good to vent a little.
 

bebe

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Date: 3/25/2009 8:42:28 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were ''well''. I replied ''perfectly so''. She responded, ''are you sure''?

cheers--Sharon
When I was in college and wanted extra cash, I''d go to the blood center to give blood.
Well, I was dreadfully thin (5''7" and 103). They wouldn''t take me. So the next time I put
a bunch of heavy stuff in my jacket pockets - worked like a charm. I was fine!
 

Lorelei

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Date: 3/27/2009 10:47:28 AM
Author: Julianna
Just wanted to add my support.
5''9'' here, 127 on a good day (130 on a bad one!). Sick and tired of people saying they''re ''surprised'' to see me eat. I eat plenty. I eat plenty of Froot Loops, plenty of bread, plenty of chocolate, plenty of steak, potatoes, cheese, you name it. My metabolism runs like a steam engine. If I skip a meal I lose a pound. Sick and tired of people spreading rumors about me being anorexic/bulemic/undereater. I eat three or four meals a day. I can''t help anyone but myself; everyone else needs to do what they need to do to keep themselves happy. Sick of people telling me I should stop working out because I don''t ''need it''. Yes I do! I want some effin'' muscle tone! The cake hurts my system as much as it hurts the next person''s! It''s just as bad for me as it is for the next person!

I''m happy at my weight, not worried about my smaller-than-Bs.
Feels good to vent a little.
THERE you are J, I was looking for you!!!!
 

DivaDiamond007

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Date: 3/22/2009 1:56:31 PM
Author:lilylover
Not sure if I''ll get any support here as it seems most of you are trying to loose a few pounds, but here it goes.

I''ve always been naturally really thin (except for a two year period when I was on BC and gained 15 pounds!!) and recently I am becoming hurt by comments that I have read/heard (not on this site) about ''REAL women with REAL curves.''

Sorry, but I am a real woman! I don''t try to be this way, I just am. It hurts to think that people would look at me and think that I am doing something drastic to be as thin as I am and that I am not a ''real'' woman.

I am 5ft 4in, weigh 108lbs. and wear a size 0. I don''t personally feel that I look too thin (I have a small frame) but sometimes I wonder and it makes me self-conscious. I''d LOVE to have bigger breasts (32b, here!) and I wouldn''t mind a bubblier butt.

Anyway, not really sure what I am trying to say here, just needed somewhere to vent. :)
I totally could have posted this myself! When I got married in 2005 I was a mere 100lbs and I''m 5''0" if I stand up really tall. I stayed that way until I had a baby and now I''m hovering around 115lbs (almost 9 months post-partum).

Strangers would accuse me of having an eating disorder or starving myself to be thin and I wasn''t. I''ve also dealt with the comment that "real women have curves". Ugh. Why can''t some people just be thin?!

I''m also fairly flat chested - I''m now a 34B but still want to be bigger there
I got a bigger butt and thighs as a result of giving birth and I''d gladly give you some of it if I could!

I wouldn''t say that I''ve ever been self-conscious about my weight but I am sometimes about my height. When you''re as short as I am people tend to treat you like a little kid and it''s really quit offending, especially in a professional/work situation. I''ve come to terms that I''m never going to get taller so I embrace my shortness and don''t dwell on it.
 

Mara

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I am NOT a naturally skinny girl, but I sure wish I was cuz I like to EAT. I used to be like that, rail thin, til my early 20's but then my metabolism started to slow and now I have to work out and stay very active in order to stay thinner.

But I have a coworker who is absolutely tiny, she is about 5'5" and typically about 110 lbs. She just had a baby and it was hilarious because she only grew in her belly and from behind her waist looked normal. She had an 8lb baby and has 24" hips and I always tell her she is a miracle of nature! It's crazy. This is her 2nd child. She has told me that she used to drink these hugely fatty shakes and things to try to gain weight, but really she just eats whatever she wants and hardly works out. So jealous BUT in a way, I like the way I am 'forced' to stay active, because I could easily be lazy and just eat and be one of those 'skinny fat girls' that people talk about. This gal is not like that, she has muscles you can see but she just doesn't need to stay active.

It's funny because most guys seem to find more curves more appealing, at least my hub does, when I got too thin he was complaining because everything was smaller and he thought I was bony. But I notice more girls wish to be thinner than guys would wish them to be...Greg says it is to 'impress other girls'....HA. No I just want my clothes to fit well!


Bottom line is that our bodies are what they are. You can't change your bone structure, maybe your metabolism a tiny bit with artificial methods but not really. I think that socially it's more acceptable to be very thin, and that is why all this big 'push' towards real women, real curves, but in reality, everyone is what they are..and as long as people are healthy, who cares! Enjoy life.
 

Burk

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I''ve been dealing with some of these comments lately. I had a baby 14 months ago and am lucky to have fast metabolism and good genetics. I lost all the weight pretty quickly. Now I get comments like "It''s about time you eat" and "are you STILL losing weight?" and my favorite from my MIL "You''ll never get pregnant again at THAT weight...you''re too thin!" Seriously?!?! What is wrong with people? I eat healthy and work out. I''m 5''10 and 135-140 lbs with a pretty small frame. My sympathies to all the other ladies dealing with this. Sucks!
 

Inanna

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565
I despise the word "skinny".


Having people come up to you and say "OMG you''re so skinny... why are you SOOOO skinny???" gets really damn old. I have boobs (small boobs, but still) and I have a butt. I exercise, I eat A LOT, and I can shop at most stores. But, "OMG... SOOO Skinny." It''s obnoxious.

If the tables were turned, that behavior would be unacceptable.
 

Julianna

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Date: 3/27/2009 11:15:30 AM
Author: Lorelei

THERE you are J, I was looking for you!!!!
Hello my favorite poster! I switched jobs and am now busy, it cuts into my slacking/posting time.
I do lurk some, though!
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/27/2009 11:50:58 AM
Author: Julianna

Date: 3/27/2009 11:15:30 AM
Author: Lorelei

THERE you are J, I was looking for you!!!!
Hello my favorite poster! I switched jobs and am now busy, it cuts into my slacking/posting time.
I do lurk some, though!
I was CRYING for you, I thawt you had abandoned me.....


Are you still doing computers?
 

Julianna

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Date: 3/27/2009 11:52:27 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 3/27/2009 11:50:58 AM
Author: Julianna


Date: 3/27/2009 11:15:30 AM
Author: Lorelei

THERE you are J, I was looking for you!!!!
Hello my favorite poster! I switched jobs and am now busy, it cuts into my slacking/posting time.
I do lurk some, though!
I was CRYING for you, I thawt you had abandoned me.....


Are you still doing computers?
Yes ma''am I''m your friendly computer support human.
My scope of duties has grown quite a bit as late though so no HLT for me.
But I have not abandoned you! I am still around, I promise.
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 3/27/2009 11:59:04 AM
Author: Julianna

Date: 3/27/2009 11:52:27 AM
Author: Lorelei


Date: 3/27/2009 11:50:58 AM
Author: Julianna



Date: 3/27/2009 11:15:30 AM
Author: Lorelei

THERE you are J, I was looking for you!!!!
Hello my favorite poster! I switched jobs and am now busy, it cuts into my slacking/posting time.
I do lurk some, though!
I was CRYING for you, I thawt you had abandoned me.....


Are you still doing computers?
Yes ma''am I''m your friendly computer support human.
My scope of duties has grown quite a bit as late though so no HLT for me.
But I have not abandoned you! I am still around, I promise.
Thats alright then!
 

canuk-gal

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Date: 3/27/2009 11:11:17 AM
Author: bebe



Date: 3/25/2009 8:42:28 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

The gal at the blood donor clinic almost refused my donation--asked me if I were 'well'. I replied 'perfectly so'. She responded, 'are you sure'?

cheers--Sharon
When I was in college and wanted extra cash, I'd go to the blood center to give blood.
Well, I was dreadfully thin (5'7' and 103). They wouldn't take me. So the next time I put
a bunch of heavy stuff in my jacket pockets - worked like a charm. I was fine!
HI:

In all fairness to the donor lady, I was close to that weight when (5'6", 105 lbs) when I was donating on a regular basis--my Dad was terminally ill/soon died and the stress precpitated weight loss. Normally I am around 112 lbs, but when I am under stress my eating is affected....

I have this marvellous appetite, always have. I just happen to be a athletic and thin. My Mom would prefer me rounder--but she saw the difficulty I had putting on weight when I was pregnant, so she really doesn't say anything, since it is what it is. Last summer I was in a dress shop in Cali and the saleslady said to me"oh my you are thin--are you a model"? I replied "you think I am thin? and she said "oh you think you aren't? I said "I don't think about it at all!" She paused and realized how she came across--and then rather apolegitically said "that is a very sensible answer--sorry; good for you for taking care of yourself."

cheers--Sharon
 

Julianna

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Date: 3/27/2009 12:12:22 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

In all fairness to the donor lady, I was close to that weight when (5''6'', 105 lbs) when I was donating on a regular basis--my Dad was terminally ill/soon died and the stress precpitated weight loss. Normally I am around 112 lbs, but when I am under stress my eating is affected....

I have this marvellous appetite, always have. I just happen to be a athletic and thin. My Mom would prefer me rounder--but she saw the difficulty I had putting on weight when I was pregnant, so she really doesn''t say anything, since it is what it is. Last summer I was in a dress shop in Cali and the saleslady said to me''oh my you are thin--are you a model''? I replied ''you think I am thin? and she said ''oh you think you aren''t? I said ''I don''t think about it at all!'' She paused and realized how she came across--and then rather apolegitically said ''that is a very sensible answer--sorry; good for you for taking care of yourself.''

cheers--Sharon
Well said, Sharon.
I, for one, will try that next time instead of getting defensive.
 

soocool

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I have to laugh at the boob part. My mom started me with a training bra when I was 12 and I needed a real bra. When I was 16 I was a 34 c and weighed about 110 lbs. After I had my daughter I was a 36 D and stayed there, though the girls do hang a bit low. I can''t imagine what size I would be if I were much heavier (I am 130 now) What would I do with them?

Oh, now I know the added weight is because of the bigger boobs!!!!
 
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    Horses for Courses: Polo Match Jewelry
    Horses for Courses: Polo Match Jewelry
    An Excellent K Color Graded Diamond
    An Excellent K Color Graded Diamond
    Astounding AVR
    Astounding AVR

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