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Tekate

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AGBF|1469929963|4060991 said:
This is a little off-topic, I guess. I was feeling a little self-congratulatory today, thinking I must be a sensitive and wonderful person (I'll tell you why in a moment.) ;)) (Perhaps it your fault. You all praised me so much that you set me up in my own conceit.!) Then another explanation (a more plausible one) occurred to me.

Here is the back story.

People have been crying to me yesterday and today. Strangers. And none of them knew I was a social worker/therapist in the past, either. They were all people whom I was hiring as health care workers.

The people had nothing in common in terms of sex, age, income level, religion, or race. Two were men; one was a woman. One owned a business; one was a high level health care professional; one was a low-level health care worker. One was born outside of the United States and two were born inside the United States. One was African-American; two were white. The cause of the crying-not the cause, the occasion of the crying-was different in each case. In one case the person recounted the recent the loss of a dog. In one case the person recounted the loss (not to death, but to someone else) of a patient to whom he was sincerely attached. In one case the person told of a patient's stories of World War II.

As I said, at first I just handed out tissues and listened and reassure the men (for the first two to cry were men) that there was nothing wrong in their crying. And I started to think I must be a great listener. Then after the third person broke down at my kitchen table today, I started to realize that it is not me, it is them.

It is the profession.



Even though one of them is "only" an owner of a business, not a healthcare worker, I think that he is also affected by the nature of the profession. It is the care giving.

We have a thread on it here. Some of us go through stages of our life when we are "stuck" with it. But these people, all with visiting nurse services, do it all the time. And they do not do it in a group setting like a hospital where they can enjoy camaraderie and support from others. They work alone. They are isolated with their patients, feeling the pain of their patients (if they are feeling people as these three people clearly were).

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Anyone?
Deb
Yes, when one of my brothers was dying of lung cancer last year, the hospice nurse would come in and help him and listen to his lungs and then he would go lie down and she would chat with me when I was there, about her kids her life, I thought being a nurse in this profession must be really hard, to be up and chipper, when inside one may feel bummed. :) always being strong is often really hard.

peace
 

redwood66

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They needed you right then Deb. That is all there is to it and thank you for listening to them. :))

My DH worked as a medical assistant in a nursing home and doctor's office long ago. It was hard for him in the nursing home as he worked nights mostly and that is when people pass away for the most part. He got to know many of them and it took a toll on him. Because of this experience, in later years he offered on his days off to take care of my great uncle who was living at home with Parkinson's. My great aunt was so tired and depressed that DH was glad to do it, but it was hard and my uncle lived 2 years this way dying at home. I will always appreciate the sacrifices and love my DH showed. He is my hero.
 

momhappy

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AGBF|1469816349|4060625 said:
momhappy|1469804966|4060573 said:
I posted this in the other thread and I will post it here as well. I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time. I hope that everyone can get the help that they need and that things will get better for you and your family.

I meant to say I was sorry to you in that other thread after reading your last response to me, momhappy, but I didn't know then that this thread existed. Now I do, so I can say it here. I apologize. You were correct that ruby quoted you, but you didn't say anything disparaging to me. I was just off on a toot. Please forgive me. You have always been very gracious when I got snappy before. I will try to hold my temper better. I know that you are a kind and thoughtful poster.

Deb :wavey:

Thank you so much, Deb. Seeing this was a big relief! I know that you and I don't always agree, but I still enjoy reading your contributions in this forum. I was afraid that you wouldn't come back to read my post in the other thread. I know that you are going through a difficult time :(( Your apology is not needed, but still much appreciated.
 

Rockinruby

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AGBF, sending you lots of support for all the difficult things you are going through. Big hugs to you! :wavey:
 

Dancing Fire

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Deb...BIG HUGS !. I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time. Lots of dust heading your way.
 

Jambalaya

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I am so very sorry for all your troubles. Big, big hugs xxxx
 

MissGotRocks

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Yes, hugs and warm thoughts for you Deb! It is difficult enough to deal with just one of those situations - with two different scenarios going on it is just almost more than one person can take. You are a dedicated trooper to your father and your daughter; they are indeed fortunate to have you. I sincerely hope that you get a break now and again to rest and recharge yourself a bit. I know from experience that the caregiver suffers as well as the patients - I wish you strength in the coming days ahead.
 

AGBF

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redwood66|1469975090|4061064 said:
They needed you right then Deb. That is all there is to it and thank you for listening to them. :))

My DH worked as a medical assistant in a nursing home and doctor's office long ago. It was hard for him in the nursing home as he worked nights mostly and that is when people pass away for the most part. He got to know many of them and it took a toll on him. Because of this experience, in later years he offered on his days off to take care of my great uncle who was living at home with Parkinson's. My great aunt was so tired and depressed that DH was glad to do it, but it was hard and my uncle lived 2 years this way dying at home. I will always appreciate the sacrifices and love my DH showed. He is my hero.

He sounds like a true hero, Red. I am glad that you and he have each other.

Hugs,
Deb
 

AGBF

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My father's blood pressure was high yesterday and an RN who comes in (not working as an RN) got through to his doctor and changed the orders on his medication. She just knew something was off. Today another RN (this one agency sanctioned) had just taken his blood pressure and was changing his bandages and he suddenly went blank. It wasn't a classic stroke. But he was completely unresponsive-to hearing or to touch. She noticed he was breathing. (I did not. I am not a medical person.) But he was totally blank. I knelt beside him and held his arm. I thought it was the end. I wanted to hold him as he died. Then, eventually, he came out out it. The nurse had had the presence of mind to say. "Call 911", so I gave her the phone before I knelt down. She was able to give better information about his medical condition over the telephone. The consensus is that it may have been a TIA. He is at the ER now. I stayed home. He has two aides with him and my brother is coming down. I have to visit my daughter is the psychiatric hospital. I just want them to keep him overnight for observation, which they didn't when he fell during the weekend.

Deb/AGBF
 

canuk-gal

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HI:

Healing vibes across the miles, Deb.

kind regards, Sharon
 

chrono

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Deb,
I'm so sorry. ((Hugs)) Please don't forget to take care of yourself too. I hope everyone pulls through soon.
 

redwood66

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Hugs to you today Deb.
 

monarch64

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Hey Deb. I've been busy myself the past few days/weeks and knew this thread existed but had not taken time to read or respond. I'm sorry about that, because I think you really do deserve some hugs and love and kudos for your caretaker roles as well as your contributions to PS.

So. Love and hugs and kudos to you. And whatever kind of cake or pie you think might make you feel a little better about things. Please take care of yourself. And please know that we are all friends here whether we admit it or not--lots of us have years of history and we know that there are actual people behind the posts/screens regardless of the fact that some of us like to pretend that we are an unfeeling island. There have actually been times (I know--what????) when you've raised my hackles but it's only because you remind me of my mother. I wonder if you don't remind some others of people they always tried to please as well.

Focus on yourself and your loved ones, and keep coming here to engage in the political threads that continue to keep your mind occupied from other, more difficult things.

Much love. :wavey:
 

missy

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Deb, thinking of you and sending continued good thoughts and hugs your and your dad's and DD's way. Healing vibes all around. (((HUGS))).
 

Tacori E-ring

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I am so sorry Deb. You are such a kind and generous person. I hope you are being extra gentle with yourself during this time. I have worked in three different inpatient psych units. I sincerely hope your daughter is getting the help she needs. If there is anything I can ever do, even if it is just a virtual hug, please let me know.
 

lovedogs

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I really admire you, Deb, for a variety of reasons. The care you show to your family is one of those reasons. I echo others that I hope you are taking care of yourself. Self-care is one of the more difficult things to do when you are a caretaker, but it is very important.

I hope you're doing well, and wish you all the best. Virtual hugs to you! :wavey:
 

Matata

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Deb, we have been on vacation in remote areas of the southwest for nearly 3 weeks with spotty to no cell service so forgive this late reply. First, massive hugs to you and fervent hope that your dad and daughter stabilize soon and that you are granted peace and loads of support.

Earlier in this thread you spoke of the caregivers who broke down and cried in your presence but you cheated yourself out of the honor they bestowed. They may not have known you were a social worker, but they felt your aura and they felt safe in your presence or they would not have let you see their vulnerabilities. That is a huge testament to the person you are and you should own it, revel in it and always remember how powerful you are even on the darkest days.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk
 
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