Do you find acceptance easy? I never have, and as a matter of fact, I don't think I've ever experienced true acceptance, until now. It's a real letting go, and a sense of relief that you did your best, and a surety that the given situation isn't your fault.
The last 2-3 weeks have been brutal. I won't go into details. Over the holidays, seeing extended family members for drinks and listening to the things they say. They are very, very, very intolerant, and also negative about almost everybody. My mother's side of the family were absolutely delightful, my grandfather, both great-aunts, and my mother. They're all long since passed on now.
For the first time, I've really accepted that my mother's side is gone and isn't coming back (they used to dilute the others) and I've stopped wishing and longing for things to be the way they were. At Christmas especially, it's hard not to remember when they were all alive and even the Nasties ended up smiling when faced with the collective loveliness of my mother's side. But I've accepted that my remaining family these days is the way it is, that I can't expect anything of them, and that they are no reflection on me.
It is SUCH a relief! It's taken me a long time to get here, and in my experience acceptance isn't something you decide to do, it's something which comes upon you when you're ready.
Do you also find that there are some things in life which just don't seem to be destined for you, no matter how hard you try to get them? There are other fantastic things that have fallen into my lap, and I don't want to go into them here as it might seem boastful, but I've been seriously blessed in a few departments. However, there are certain things I am just not destined for, and I've accepted that, too. Along with not having a pleasant and respectful family anymore, I could never have romantic weekends away or romantic gifts. Even when I was young and weighed 108 pounds and I dated/married, I was never given flowers, jewelry, underwear, or a weekend away by any man. It just never happened in my life. For whatever reason, I have always dated men who never gave me treats, even though they were warm-hearted and seemed very keen on me. I wouldn't have thought about treats or expected them, only that I would see other women getting these things. It seemed quite common for women to get gifts of flowers, underwear and jewelry, or get whisked on weekends away. So, about three years ago I was dating and decided to book a night with him at a wonderful hotel I'd always wanted to stay at, ignoring the fact I'd had to book it myself. It was going to be very romantic. Except there was a fire and we had to stay in a Travelodge.
I am also never going to have great hair.
So that's it. No nice family, nice hair, or romantic treats for me. I'm not complaining - I have plenty of other things that others may struggle to obtain - it goes both ways. But I'm just wondering if there are things in others' lives that are just bugbears, which seem out of reach, and if they have accepted it.
Sorry for rambling, I'm just experiencing the stirrings of real acceptance for the first time, and I'm quite enamored by it. It's so relaxing and such a relief. I think the key is that you really and truly don't expect anything with regards to whatever it is. And once that happens, you really stop thinking about the given situation.
So, have you ever experienced true acceptance? Could you make it happen, or did you have to wait for it to come upon you by itself? I'd like to hear others' thoughts on the topic of acceptance, and what things they have had to accept. And also how it felt. I've described the reassuring depth of the acceptance that I'm experiencing, but I wonder how others experience acceptance.
The last 2-3 weeks have been brutal. I won't go into details. Over the holidays, seeing extended family members for drinks and listening to the things they say. They are very, very, very intolerant, and also negative about almost everybody. My mother's side of the family were absolutely delightful, my grandfather, both great-aunts, and my mother. They're all long since passed on now.
For the first time, I've really accepted that my mother's side is gone and isn't coming back (they used to dilute the others) and I've stopped wishing and longing for things to be the way they were. At Christmas especially, it's hard not to remember when they were all alive and even the Nasties ended up smiling when faced with the collective loveliness of my mother's side. But I've accepted that my remaining family these days is the way it is, that I can't expect anything of them, and that they are no reflection on me.
It is SUCH a relief! It's taken me a long time to get here, and in my experience acceptance isn't something you decide to do, it's something which comes upon you when you're ready.
Do you also find that there are some things in life which just don't seem to be destined for you, no matter how hard you try to get them? There are other fantastic things that have fallen into my lap, and I don't want to go into them here as it might seem boastful, but I've been seriously blessed in a few departments. However, there are certain things I am just not destined for, and I've accepted that, too. Along with not having a pleasant and respectful family anymore, I could never have romantic weekends away or romantic gifts. Even when I was young and weighed 108 pounds and I dated/married, I was never given flowers, jewelry, underwear, or a weekend away by any man. It just never happened in my life. For whatever reason, I have always dated men who never gave me treats, even though they were warm-hearted and seemed very keen on me. I wouldn't have thought about treats or expected them, only that I would see other women getting these things. It seemed quite common for women to get gifts of flowers, underwear and jewelry, or get whisked on weekends away. So, about three years ago I was dating and decided to book a night with him at a wonderful hotel I'd always wanted to stay at, ignoring the fact I'd had to book it myself. It was going to be very romantic. Except there was a fire and we had to stay in a Travelodge.
I am also never going to have great hair.
So that's it. No nice family, nice hair, or romantic treats for me. I'm not complaining - I have plenty of other things that others may struggle to obtain - it goes both ways. But I'm just wondering if there are things in others' lives that are just bugbears, which seem out of reach, and if they have accepted it.
Sorry for rambling, I'm just experiencing the stirrings of real acceptance for the first time, and I'm quite enamored by it. It's so relaxing and such a relief. I think the key is that you really and truly don't expect anything with regards to whatever it is. And once that happens, you really stop thinking about the given situation.
So, have you ever experienced true acceptance? Could you make it happen, or did you have to wait for it to come upon you by itself? I'd like to hear others' thoughts on the topic of acceptance, and what things they have had to accept. And also how it felt. I've described the reassuring depth of the acceptance that I'm experiencing, but I wonder how others experience acceptance.