Thoughtful gifts that fall a little flat

[fenestrate]

@FlashyFlamingo
Great news for you:
you met a generous man who wants to make you happy and you have a cospicous credit!
Please please don' t stress your SO with useless conversations about what you should pick: he' s just a man, not a sale assistant or a mindreader...if you're in doubt, come here and share with us, we'll be happy to help you.
Best to you,
purplesilk

This advice troubles me... don't tax the poor man's head with women's silliness is how I interpreted your words? 'Useless conversations' - to him, but not to her, and she should monitor herself?

 

[Ally T]

Awesome ending!

However, i see your $4k bracelet & I will raise you. My mother in law enjoys my tidy, clean house (for which I don't have a cleaning person & I do myself), so every single year, in amongst my gifts, she will put cleaning cloths, a new toilet brush & clothes pegs.

Beat THAT for thoughtfulness that falls flat

 

[purplesilk]

@fenestrate
In my world most of men have zero interest/knowledge/taste in jewelry, purses,clothing,...so having a conversation is useless and boring for both men and women.

 

[missy]

Awesome ending!

However, i see your $4k bracelet & I will raise you. My mother in law enjoys my tidy, clean house (for which I don't have a cleaning person & I do myself), so every single year, in amongst my gifts, she will put cleaning cloths, a new toilet brush & clothes pegs.

Beat THAT for thoughtfulness that falls flat

OMG that is pretty hard to beat though I would say that getting no gifts from your MIL might be even worse just because she is indifferent and doesn't even go out of her way to get you anything. That might be worse. Though thinking about it toilet brushes are pretty bad as a gift. But at least she was thinking about you!

 

[missy]

@fenestrate
In my world most of men have zero interest/knowledge/taste in jewelry, purses,clothing,...so having a conversation is useless and boring for both men and women.

I am glad my dh takes an interest just because it (insert hobbies/interests here) is a passion of mine. As I do for him. He has gone bling shopping with me for every major piece of bling and even non major pieces. Just because I love bling and want him to enjoy what I choose. And be part of the process and yeah we have fun shopping together. Not saying that is the right way/only way for everyone but I sure wouldn't extrapolate your experience with your DH's/SO's indifference to that being universal with all men. Cause that is just not the case. And if something is important to one's SO it should have some importance to them. IMO. I wouldn't sell every man short based on your experience. YMMV and what works for you is great but again not a universal thing by any means.

 

[FlashyFlamingo]

This is great! He sounds like a good guy...a very good guy.

And to REALLY put things in perspective, a friend of mine once got a toilet seat for Christmas...just sayin’...

Oh my gosh! I sure hope that it's a gag gift.

 

[purplesilk]

@missy
I' m glad for you.
I was obviously talking about my world.
I' m not trying to teach people how to live their life or how to manage their relationships...just sharing my experience.

 

[missy]

Oh my gosh! I sure hope that it's a gag gift.

LOL well there are some pretty posh and deluxe toilet seats that I wouldn't refuse. LOL. I mean we do spend some time every day on the toilet why not do it in comfort and luxury? Hmm thinking this might be a good and unique gift for someone we love!

 

[missy]

@missy
I' m glad for you.
I was obviously talking about my world.
I' m not trying to teach people how to live their life or how to manage their relationships...just sharing my experience.

Agreed. The only reason I shared my thoughts here and commented on what you wrote was because it seemed like you were telling @FlashyFlamingo what to do

"Please please don' t stress your SO with useless conversations about what you should pick: he' s just a man,"

as in not to trouble her SO with helping her choose another piece. We all have unique perspectives and different experiences and as with everything there is no universal one right way.

 

[MarionC]

LOL well there are some pretty posh and deluxe toilet seats that I wouldn't refuse. LOL. I mean we do spend some time every day on the toilet why not do it in comfort and luxury? Hmm thinking this might be a good and unique gift for someone we love!

And...sadly, it was not a gag gift! It was for himself [elevated seat] because he thought she would be happy if he were more comfortable. They are now divorced. I wonder if he took the seat with him...

 

[missy]

And...sadly, it was not a gag gift! It was for himself [elevated seat] because he thought she would be happy if he were more comfortable. They are now divorced. I wonder if he took the seat with him...

Aww I think they weren't on the same page and therein lies the trouble. I think that's a pretty good gift. Some say their toilet is their throne....or something like that.

 

[MarionC]

Aww I think they weren't on the same page and therein lies the trouble. I think that's a pretty good gift. Some say their toilet is their throne....or something like that.

What can I say? except thanks for some great New Years Day chuckles.
Honestly I would prefer beautiful antique diamond earrings LOL

 

[missy]

What can I say? except thanks for some great New Years Day chuckles.
Honestly I would prefer beautiful antique diamond earrings LOL

Umm me too as if you didn't know lol. If we are contrasting and comparing yes antique dangles for me and you and toilet seat can go in the waste basket (haha waste) but I wouldn't mind one of those new fangled toilet seats that heat up and self clean and all that jazz. I wonder if Greg would appreciate that gift? Oooh thanks for the idea

 

[purplesilk]

I might be wrong but I don't see any jewerly interest in someone who lets a shop assistant to choose a gift...I'M NOT SAYING HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN HIS GIRLFRIEND OR THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER TASTES/FEELINGS, I simply see a man who wants to give a nice gift but who hasn' t his own opinion about jewerly.
My husband and most of the men around me are like that: they're more than happy to put money on things that please their women, but, given the fact they don't have any opinion/taste, they prefer to let women to choose on their own ...AGAIN, THIS IN MY EXPERIENCE.

 

[JPie]

I’d totally be stoked to get a toilet seat if it were one of the Japanese ones with the bidet function. Also, there’s a seat warmer which is quite nice for cold buns!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

CONFESSION: We have one of those fancy bidet booty warming toilet seats it was our gift for "the house" last year for Christmas. We can't imagine living without it now!

 

[elizabethess]

I knew DH liked Mac n Cheese. Like, liked-liked - he requested it for childhood birthdays. So I decided he would have Mac n Cheese on his first birthday with me. I found the most complicated recipe, dozens of ingredients, I made my own vanilla extract and mustard two weeks in advance... and he told me he loved it I was thrilled. I liked it too, but hadn’t made all that much and figured he had dibs on his own birthday meal. So he ate that Mac n Cheese for four days.

About a month before his next birthday he told me he’d actually hated that Mac n Cheese but hadn’t had the foggiest how to tell me... and had been getting pretty desperate when it finally ran out

Apologies for the sidetrack, but I'm dying to know... vanilla extract?! Have I been making mac n' cheese wrong all these years?! Or perhaps that was the issue?...

 

[yssie]

Apologies for the sidetrack, but I'm dying to know... vanilla extract?! Have I been making mac n' cheese wrong all these years?! Or perhaps that was the issue?...

OMG, this was the most complicated recipe. I seriously think they added stuff just to make it look complicated. I remember using smoked gouda and sharp cheddar. I never use alcohol anymore but I do like a tablespoon of vanilla - it gives it this earthy sort-of-sweet flavour that I don’t notice but I do miss, if that makes any sense? And I like mustard on everything

@FlashyFlamingo I laughed reading your update! So much analysis here, apparently over a whole three seconds of thought on his part I’m very glad he was happy for you to choose something you’ll enjoy instead!

 

[AV_]

@purplesilk I come from a world much like yours, where men & women only fit at one end [behavioral dimorphism], & there is some convention to default on [not a ranking convention]; I miss that world very much.

 

[purplesilk]

As I' m getting older I appreciate more and more the "Live and let live" philosophy: spending time together with husband is beautiful and precious, but I can' t deny we have some different tastes/hobbies so sometimes I show him my love by not boring him with things he's not interested in, sometimes he shows me his love by getting involved in my interests.

 

[purplesilk]

@av : you're living in Europe, aren' t you?
It ' s a cultural attitude

 

[partgypsy]

Well that was a happy ending to the story! I'm glad that went better than I feared. I also felt people were reading into the piaget "possession" label a wee bit much as a red flag ...

 

[arkieb1]

So we all want to know did you go back and get something else instead???

 

[AV_]

@av : you're living in Europe, aren' t you?

Yes. Too many places!

 

[House Cat]

I love that there was a happy ending to this story. I hope you buy something that truly makes you happy!

 

[cmd2014]

He’s a keeper! Although I cant help but think that if he pays attention to what you do get, he might do better next time.

 

[Trekkie]

He's a keeper!!!

Please come back and show us what you got!!