This place has ruined me

[SouthernSunset]

On other forums I am a part of, I can't bear to listen to them say silly things about jewelry or stones. Like that diamonds can only be cracked by other diamonds, emeralds are great for engagement rings they're just as durable as a diamond so on and so forth. When they post pictures of new RHR's where they paid thousands for barely saturated stones with giant windows and I'm thinking in my head 'We could have found you something so much better for the same/less!!!!!' And how many say all jewelry is overpriced. After reading about how much it cost to buy rough/cut rough, I feel a lot more empathy and understand value better.

What has seen cannot be unseen. And the more hours I spend scouring these boards for information, the worse of a jewelry police officer I turn into! Terrible! That and I am shocked at how few turn up here when I recommend it, especially for people on a budget, and instead just throw money at the closest etsy seller. I guess a lot of people just want a piece to be done as soon as possible though and aren't as neurotic or obsessive about it being perfect like me lol.

 

[LoversKites]

I think everyone on this board can agree that it takes quite a bit of time and effort to learn about stones and jewelry, even just the basics. Most people aren't so interested in learning, especially if it isn't one of their primary interests. They like the full package - the great marketing, the salespeople telling you how amazing everything is and a fancy little box and bag with your new piece on jewelry - and I understand why. If you believe you have something great its as if it is great. Thats how I see it anyway.

This thread reminds me of when I was in France, on Champs-Élysées - there were jewelry stores selling rings with large, heavily treated rubies for 4000 euro - and people were buying, oh so happily buying.

 

[FrekeChild]

SS, I know exactly what you mean.

 

[indigoblue]

My name is indigoblue, and I am a pricescopaholic.

 

[endless_summer]

SS, I completely understand what you're talking about!!!

FrekeChild - I second that all the way.

Indigoblue - me too!!! GREAT WORD!

I feel very fortunate to have found PS and all of its forums - I really, actually just kindof stumbled across them.

Edit: Ummmm, yep - I completely vomited at the fingers, stream of conscious typed to the max below, and had no clue how much I had written in the post until seeing it up...happy reading!

Detour Fun story how I discovered PS =>

Last spring, FI had asked me about e-ring stones and settings that I might like, and I being very naive thought it was another one of those pie in the sky, 'one day when we do X,' type of conversations. So, I learned a little bit about the 4-C's - I really thought I wanted an emerald cut, but FI, on the other hand, loved rounds because he liked brilliant cuts and didn't think there was such a thing as a step cut that didn't look like a pretty piece of glass. At the time, from the little that I really looked at - again, I thought it was pie in the sky, so I didn't scour everything under the sun - I thought the only cuts that existed were: round, princess, oval, cushion, heart, marquise, asscher, emerald, and radiant. I had NO clue that there were all sorts of variations on these - for example, I thought round was round was round as opposed to H&A, AVR, OEC, transition, etc... Since I wanted something different (my mother has a glorious marquise, and aside from one emerald cut, everyone I know has round or princess), I said I thought I would really like a radiant - best of both worlds - the shape I like with the brilliance that he liked. Then, settings - again, clueless - I liked three stone rings, while he liked solitaires, so I discovered channel set (I wish I loved pave, but such is life, I had only seen some not so awesome looking examples IRL - nothing like the beauties we see here) - In my mind, it was a solitaire with some extra shine - yay! Again, still last spring and clueless, I just searched images of channel set rings with radiants and stumbled across a pic of a beautiful ring to show FI as an example of something that I might like. It had a huge diamond, in my mind, and so I said that I'd like something like that, like 20 years from now - mini-version of this would delight me.

Fast forward to this past August - FI didn't look at ANY rings or stones, as in no research except a general understanding of the basic 4-C's, didn't even go look at things in person, search loose stones or settings...he, instead, tracked down exactly the ring that I had showed him! When he proposed I was stunned, beyond stunned, after the initial shock of the proposal (yes, I was completely surprised), he exampled that there was a 60 day return policy, no questions asked, so if I had any reservations to let him know. Of course, I loved the ring, but I didn't know anything and wanted to be sure that we weren't just caught up in the moment and that by giving me asked what I had picked out without any research, we weren't making a mistake by going with it without any real knowledge. So, we took it in for an appraisal and I went on a mission to learn absolutely everything that I could about diamonds in, literally, a matter of days. It was the biggest investment that that we had made, aside from our home - absolutely, I was on a mission to do due dilligence.

So, I started reading everything I could and ENTER PS!!! OMG - I happened to click on a random radiant thread that came up in a goodgle search and from there, I poured over every thread, every pic, every RockyTalk discussion that had anything to do with anything regarding the basic 4-Cs, radiants, and even other cuts. Which then of course led me to watch every educational GOG video that I could find that was even slightly relevant. With the appraisal checking out and after having learned everything I could - it was a keeper not just because of the sentiment and that I loved both FI's efforts to give me exactly what he thought would make me happy and the ring itself, it was now a keeper because I knew that it was a quality stone, that FI hadn't been 'taken' for lack of better words, and that we weren't just keeping it because it happened to be pretty Thank goodness. Once that was behind us, we had the ring's crown and prongs re-done with custom handcrafting, and we couldn't be happier with it.

After deciding to keep the ring, I still loved reading all of the forums and ventured into CS! I had thought about getting a RHR, and when it arrived, I immediately thought I saw a "window" in the stone - I couldn't believe - I had never in my life owned or seen such a poorly cut stone - I wanted to keep it, but had this sinking feeling that this stone really did have that thing called a window that I had read so much about. I took pics and posted to see if, in fact, that's what a window was, and everyone here was so helpful in confirming what I thought, giving me suggestions as to how it could be closed if I kept it, and really supported my decision to return it. It was then that I really learned you can't just 'buy a ring' - it requires research, time, effort, and no matter how excited you may be - if you want quality, you have to set all of that excitement aside and look at things critically, weigh you options, and go from there.

FI is quite entertained by how much everyone here has taught me - I learned to stop talking on and on and on about stones and their cut, saturation, etc. and, instead, participate here. I can't go out and acquire lots and lots of pieces to share as a way to participate, but I do enjoy having the ability to live vicariously through others and, to the extent I can, help folks the way that all of the PS members helped me. I certainly have the CS-bug now, as there's no way I could ever afford to get bit by a diamond bug, and I really love the variety and life that color brings!

So, I'm with you - I feel very fortunate to have found PS. It has completely spoiled my tastes, for the better! I have no doubt that after completed a project or two more, you would see a vast difference in what I have pre-PS & post-PS. Knowledge is power, and putting your head in the sand only hurts you or leads you to realize that you made a mistake whenever it is that one does learn 'the difference.'

That said, LK - you are spot on in your observation about why people don't necessarily do they're research, and if you don't know the difference, then ignorance is bliss!!! And, for anyone not of this forum or in person, if the piece is already owned, I will never be the one to ruin it for them. I'm happy to take part in their excitement.

BUT...If asked my opinion during a return period, absolutely I would point out all the things they should think about and send them here right away!

 

[pregcurious]

This place is like Pandora's box in a way.

Unless someone brings up jewelry, I don't. When they do, then I try to hold back so I don't sound nuts. I also have to stop from correcting people all the time.

Example: Last week, a friend at work was tell me how awful white gold was because rhodium plating wears off and then it's all yellowish...and that's why they got platinum! I commented that there were white alloys of white gold, whiter than platinum, that did not have to be plated to look white. I could tell she either did not believe me, or it was so out of the box for her that it went over her head. It was like she was reciting some sales pitch for platinum.

That said, I prefer platinum, but despite the grayish color and patina. I prefer the heft and that it does not wear away the same as white gold.

There's still so much I don't know, and this is still a consumer based forum. There are trade focused forums, which have more technical knowledge, but we're not allowed to post them here.

 

[JewelFreak]

PSers are the ones who listen (er, read) when "regular" people's eyes glaze over at gem enthusiasm. I bore poor DH sometimes, though I try to keep it to a minimum but none of my other friends have any interest in stones or jewelry, except what they find at stores -- nice, easy, & packaged up. Only if asked do I blab & have learned to make it brief!

LK, I saw the same thing in Paris re emeralds. Store windows with rows of the ugliest emeralds I'd seen in a long time, at incredible prices. I presume people buy them, or the stores wouldn't stock them. Even counting out the VAT, the prices made my eyes water. I guess their new owners were happy, which is what they paid for -- certainly not for a nice emerald!

--- Laurie

 

[kenny]

Yeah, learning a lot about a topic can alienate you from how the general public is with that topic.

I don't just feel that way about gems, I feel that way about photography.

 

[iLander]

I can totally relate, Laurie! Sometimes DH will spend a few minutes talking stones, and I reciprocate by talking "tech".

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer? I will tell you mine, and I promise not to say Anne Geddes.

Sometimes, as a CSer, you have to bite your tongue with your friends, especially when they are SOOOOO excited about their new "rainbow sapphire" pendent.

 

[SouthernSunset]

Thanks LK, Freke, indigoblue, endless, pregcurious Laurie, Kenny and ilander! I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one.

Tbh, I know SO little compared to what there is to know and what others know. I love to get deep into my hobbies, so I am familiar with people's eyes glazing over! SO looks at me when i talk about it and says, 'Now i know how you feel when i try to talk about video game stuff' I don't ever press people or mention anything unless they ask. And when they turn down any advice I've given I just smile and move on. It still baffles me though!

I suppose its just hard for me to understand the thought behind ease over quality/value. Me and my SO both spend months of research before buying almost any purchase over $100 lol. My father was an auditor and my mother a librarian so I was raised to never take anything at face value and triple verify, so I suppose that plays into it.

Anyways, I'm glad to have found this place. Even if it has given me a running commentary on jewelry in my head everywhere I go. Haha.

 

[kenny]

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer?

Probably Ansel Adams.
Long ago in a museum I saw some prints that he had personally printed.

They were so sublime you could almost hear them.

 

[endless_summer]

I can totally relate, Laurie! Sometimes DH will spend a few minutes talking stones, and I reciprocate by talking "tech".

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer? I will tell you mine, and I promise not to say Anne Geddes.

Sometimes, as a CSer, you have to bite your tongue with your friends, especially when they are SOOOOO excited about their new "rainbow sapphire" pendent.

Just curious, but what's a 'rainbow sapphire'?

 

[iLander]

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer?

Probably Ansel Adams.
Long ago in a museum I saw some prints that he had personally printed.

They were so sublime you could almost hear them.

I saw those prints! I think it was the MOMA or the Met, I can't remember which, in NYC, years ago. The tones and contrast were just so fantastic, they're lost in any kind of reproduction. No one does their own developing anymore, which is a shame. DH did his own for years . . .

I have a soft spot for Peter Henry Emerson, he photographed as art, decades before anyone else. Almost painterly in his approach.

 

[iLander]

I can totally relate, Laurie! Sometimes DH will spend a few minutes talking stones, and I reciprocate by talking "tech".

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer? I will tell you mine, and I promise not to say Anne Geddes.

Sometimes, as a CSer, you have to bite your tongue with your friends, especially when they are SOOOOO excited about their new "rainbow sapphire" pendent.

Just curious, but what's a 'rainbow sapphire'?

A row of (beryllium laden, heavily treated, possibly even lab created) sapphires arranged in the color order of a rainbow. Just google rainbow sapphire pendent, you'll see a bunch of them.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

My friends have learned to not get me started on gems and jewelry. And I have learned to avert my eyes at certain overpriced, less than stellar quality stores.

But I know that some people just cringe at my unfashionable clothes, lame watches and old car. "She could do so much better!", they must think. Sorry, I am not putting effort into some things.

 

[endless_summer]

I can totally relate, Laurie! Sometimes DH will spend a few minutes talking stones, and I reciprocate by talking "tech".

Kenny, who's your favorite photographer? I will tell you mine, and I promise not to say Anne Geddes.

Sometimes, as a CSer, you have to bite your tongue with your friends, especially when they are SOOOOO excited about their new "rainbow sapphire" pendent.

Just curious, but what's a 'rainbow sapphire'?

A row of (beryllium laden, heavily treated, possibly even lab created) sapphires arranged in the color order of a rainbow. Just google rainbow sapphire pendent, you'll see a bunch of them.

Goodness…they are hideous

(no offense to anyone who may have one, just not my style at all)

 

[Jereni]

I agree with this thread. I have yet to find anyone I can talk to about this stuff IRL.

 

[Snowyrin]

I agree with this thread. I have yet to find anyone I can talk to about this stuff IRL.

Yes, sometimes I pity my BF and BFF who are obligated to listen to my gem talks. After lurking for sometime in PS, I gathered all my courage and finally posted like 1 year later( I didn't create an account till I felt an urge to post).

And now, lucky them! No more random talks. I've found a better place.

 

[4_cs]

I used to be one of "them". Had no interest in jewelry. Zero knowledge. Now I know enough to be dangerous to myself. My new hobby is looking at jewelry. Some stores are very good to look at. Others-not so good. Went to a place today to see what they had. Independent store with very beautiful gemstones-from afar -like I mean in the case. Cloudy,windows, synthetic, certificates for diamonds aren't necessary. Aaaack. I just looked around,tried a few things on,talked briefly and left. This place was very busy while I was there with people buying and singing the praises of the store. This place has ruined me-in a good way.

 

[GliderPoss]

This place has totally ruined me too... for the better!

I am now a diserning, educated gem/jewellery lover! Sure I dont know everything but I feel more confident in getting exactly what I want without getting ripped off which is important to me.

Likewise could blab on about gems for hours but I try not to bore everyone around me...

 

[chrono]

It is difficult for me to talk about gems IRL due to the remote location of where I live, so good quality gems are far and few. I know the learning curve for coloured stones is steep (more involved than diamonds) and compounded by the limited selection in stores, which sort of forces most people into a one-stop shop at Etsy, mall stores and wherever else. I generally do not say anything unless asked specifically.

 

[JewelFreak]

It is difficult for me to talk about gems IRL due to the remote location of where I live,

Ditto, Chrono. Except PS, I don't know anyone interested in gems, either IRL or online. Oh well, their loss! I have an equal passionate interest in history -- the past 10 yrs particularly the American Civil War, & my brother is my only buddy for that. I also get immersed in animals & their behaviors -- it's a little easier to find people interested in that but few actually study animal behavior, as I do. I'm fascinated by the Earth Sciences & nobody else in my life cares at all. That's where the internet comes in so handy -- finding info & gab on weird topics.

--- Laurie

 

[pregcurious]

I've noticed a few people a work who wear jewelry, but it's mostly stones that are overly dark in tone/extinct, or with poor cuts. Otherwise, people wear standard things like erings and pearls.