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This is so hard I want to puke

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danny0927

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
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First off, I just wrote this post and accidentally deleted it. It took me like a thousand hours.

Anyway, like others, I need help from the more educated. I''ved tried really hard to understand the cut information, particularly the do-it-yourself Holloway cut advisor most people on here seem married (no pun) to, but I just can''t figure out how to do it. I''ve never felt so stupid, or overwhelmed, or frustrated. I''m sweating just writing the email. I have a few links below with diamonds I''m considering, and would like some comments and feedback on them or others similar, but I feel compelled to write the following in the event it helps:

Before last Friday I had never been in a jewelry store in my life. I have never seen a diamond up close (meaning any closer than checking a hand at a bar to see if some hot girl was married). I THINK I like Ascher stones, but I''ve NEVER seen one in person, only online. Is that a problem? Here''s ideally what I want in a ring. I want it to be understated and elegant, but at the same time I want it to be noticed, A LOT, and I want people to love it, not just my hopeful fiance, but everyone else as well (I am well aware that may be shallow, but for some reason I can''t pinpoint it''s just there in me as something I care about ... I might be a head-case). I also want it to be very shiny and sparkle a lot (those technical legal terms mean I need an awesome cut, right?) I want girls to think, "I wish I was as lucky as her", and I want guys to say "She''s not going anywhere, that guy''s like perfect". Now, I know a ring can''t do that, but I want it to be an accurate representation of what I think of her and how I treat her and the appreciation I have for her. (Seriously, don''t tell my friends I''m writing this sap, they''d NeVER let me forget it. It''s kinda embarrassing, BUT I only plan on doing it once, so ...).

Oh yah, and I only have about $2K-$2500 to spend. I should say b/c of my money constraints that I don''t honestly care about the size of the thing, and for the most part are think really big rings are tacky (no offense). With that said, I really want the stone I picke to stand on its own. I don''t want to need little side pieces (whatever they are called) to make the actual stone appear bigger. If I decide on side baquettes (sp??) inside of the band, it would only be to help it sparkle (technical term), but the stone has to do carry the rowing oar and be okay on its own. If it helps my GF is very slender, tiny even. I could post a pic if it would help and you all would promise not to steal her or tell others she''s ur girl.

Okay, enough, here''s the stones:

http://www.uniondiamond.com/diamonds/diamonds.php?search_type_id=3&action_type_id=2&item_id=AA603043&&0.72ct-D-VVS2-Asscher-Cut-Diamond

http://www.uniondiamond.com/diamonds/diamonds.php?search_type_id=&action_type_id=2&item_id=AA614606&&0.71ct-E-SI1-Asscher-Cut-Diamond

http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds_details.asp?__fun_frm=i&track=btntext_viewselect&elem=img&pid=LD00342309&filter_id=0

thanks very much for any help, advise, commentary. However, PLEASE do not post if it will only confuse me more. I can''t take that.
 
Dan......welcome to Pricescope.
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Please....don''t let the process overwhelm you. You''ve done most of the hard work in finding a place where you can get help, so you''re ahead of the game.

Asschers (and really all fancy stones) really have to be seen; numbers don''t tell the story. I''d say to pick a vendor you''re comfortable with, one you feel you can work with and one you''re confident in to be a trusted partner. Tell him/her what you''re looking for, and let him/her help you find the right stone for you. You detail out what your wants are, and make it his/her job to come up with suitable options for you.

Don''t get overwhelmed. It''s a big purchase, sure, but it''s one you can get help with.
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Hi, Dan! I am sorry you have been so stressed! You should have asked us to help you sooner!

My first thought is that asschers face up small because they are deeper than some other stones like rounds. You''d really not be able to really appreciate the asscher pattern in a very small stone, in my opinion. I would honestly suggest a round brilliant stone for this reason. You get the most bang for your buck (or brilliance!) that way!

If you''d consider rounds, here are some ideal cut stones within your budget (around .60 cts):

http://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/A-Cut-Above-H-A-cut-diamond-636692.htm ($1511 with wire/pricescope discounts)

http://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/A-Cut-Above-H-A-cut-diamond-540892.htm ($1620 ")

http://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/A-Cut-Above-H-A-cut-diamond-636694.htm ($1511, I think)
 
Welcome to PS, Danny!
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I''m sorry I don''t know much about asschers, so I can''t offer any advice about those stones, however, your post was so endearing that I just wanted to stop in and offer you some encouragement.

This is a very emotional and overwhelming process, don''t be too hard on yourself. There is a lot to know and you are taking ownership of this purchase by becoming an informed consumer ... a lot more than many other people do, might I add. The knowledge you have gained thus far and will continue to gain will serve you well.

Alj gave you great advice ... Unfortunately, it is said to be much more difficult to "predict" the beauty or peformance of a "fancy" shape, in this case, an asscher. I''m sure you''ll be able to get some great advice or tips from other PS forum members and some experts, however, building a relationship with your vendor is essential. They can act as your "eyes", so to speak, and if you have a good rapport and trust who you are dealing with, this will make the process 100x easier for you. You will lay out what your expectations or requirements and they will aim to meet or exceed them ... done deal. The result being a gorgeous diamond that will blow your future fiance (and all your friends who we are going to tell about you being so mushy) away!
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Good luck, Danny! I have every confidence that the dedication or determination/perserverance that drove you to find PS in search of the perfect diamond, will enable you to achieve this goal tenfold. If you need to puke sometimes along the way, so be it ... everything will be all good when you look at that beautiful sparkly ring on her finger when she is smiling and says "yes" to you!
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If you want a plain solitaire setting, I could find some more expensive rounds. But if you want any diamonds on the band at all, you need to allow enough for the setting.

I want to add that since you really want the stone to sparkle and be impressive, you will get more of that from a round. The asschers at .70 cts. were about 4.8 to 5mm square and the rounds I posted at .60 are about 5.46mm in diameter. So the rounds at a lower carat weight are going to look larger than an asscher of the same weight or greater weight.
 
Danny how about this setting with either this stone or this stone. These options bring you right around your budget and are some really nice stones. I think this size would be great just enough that people would notice. As far as Asscher cuts I think that trying to find one might stress you out way too much and you should just stick to the easy cuts.

Good luck!
 
I''m very agreeable tonight... but also new to the forum, so you can''t go by my advice.
First of all, I agree with you - you put my thoughts into words - It is so hard, I want to puke also. I have been looking for about two + weeks, and am still confused. However, I also agree that you have come to the right place! This sight is great. Oh, I am not sure that the HCI thingy is for acsher cuts (???), but be sure to ask.

I also agree with Diamondseeker and KtIceRn about the rounds - at the very least, consider them - that is all i have been looking at, and I absolutely love them. Not to mention that there is alot more information out there about rounds so you can ''figure'' out better which stone is more beautiful.

And remeber, keep on with the fight - if Stalone had given up, there would never have been a Rocky 17 (or whatever one was last), my point is, you will find THAT ring, and she will love it.
 
Welcome to PS Danny! Sit back, relax, and let the experts help you (me not included, I'm just chiming in for moral support!)... I can't tell you how many times I have read a thread where a guy just like you asks for help and by the end of the thread he has purchased the ring of his dreams thanks to the help of the PS crowd!

My only contribution is to suggest that you consider a round brilliant stone for a few reasons: 1) You expressed a desire for the stone to be noticed and for it to look spectacular (my hubby feels the same way, btw), and I think that those desires can best be met with a round brilliant... those suckas sparkle and fire and get noticed! I too LOVE asschers and my ring has emerald cut stones, and although such cuts are beautiful, uncommon, and romantic, they really don't sparkle and catch the eye the same way that a round brilliant does. 2) Asschers and other step-cuts show colour a lot more than round brilliants because the sparkle and fire of an ideal cut round brilliant really hides colour. What does this mean? It means you may feel the need to go higher on the colour scale to get an asscher that you like (say, E color), whereas you can maybe get a lower coloured round brilliant that you like just as much color-wise (say H color), so you might be able to get a bigger RB than asscher for your budget. 3) Asschers are cut deeper so they "look" smaller than round brilliants: for example, a .5 ct round brilliant will be around 5.2mm in diameter whereas a .5 ct asscher will be only around 4.35mm, so again, you can get a bigger looking round brilliant stone for the same price as an equivalent carat weight asscher. (ETA: just noticed that diamondseeker made the same point!)

Ok, that's my two cents, I really hope that wasn't information that just added to your anxiety, I just thought from reading your post that you might care about some of those things I pointed out. If it wasn't helpful, I'm really really sorry
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and you can just ignore it all! In the end, the heart wants what it wants, and if you love an asscher, then get one, it will look gorgeous I am sure!!

Good luck and keep us posted, I can't wait to see your finished ring!

DD
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Want a no puke no worry way to buy an asscher....
the easy way...
Call Jon at www.goodoldgold.com tell him what you want.
He calls in a few stones, shots a video, gives his professional opinion, you pick one and your done.
Have him shoot it beside a Round in your price range for comparison.

Why Jon..
1: I bought my wifey2b''s diamond from him, he rocks.
2: He knows asschers
3: videos are kewl.
 
Welcome to PS.

I had to put in my two cents.

When I upgraded my stone recently (from a tiny .25 pear), I initially chose an asscher. They are phenomenal when they''re cut well. However, in my smallish size of .72, it did not look great. It kind of came off dull and not sparkly unless you got very close to it, and even then, only if you were familiar with the asscher cut.

I ended up choosing a cushion, which is kind of a pillowy shaped stone that has more of a sparkle to it. (and it appears much larger in the same carat range than the asscher)

And, to put it into terms of size, a pencil eraser is approx. 6mm diameter. So, the half a mm (or more --if you put your money into a bigger stone and a plain band) that you would gain by going with a round would be significant.

The most important thing is that your bride-to-be love her ring. Do you know what she likes? Has she said that she loves asschers? If she has, then I''d definitely get what she wants even if it means you lose size.

Good Luck!
 
WOW! First, thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

I will look into round brilliant stones also, and thanks for the advice. However, part of the reason (a big part) that I liked the Ascher ring I saw online that originally got this whole mess started is that it was so different from a normal ring with a rock on top. I should have said up front that maybe my two worst characteristics is are that (1) I really like to be different from the norm (i always root for the underdog, no matter what, i just can''t help it) and (2) I AM A HORRIBLE DECISION MAKER. It''s predictable with me that I''ll look at so many options that my head will spin and I''ll honestly internally have NO idea what the right decision is. I can''t decide on anything from where to each lunch to whether I would rather live in a city condo or suburban home. Anyway, a few follow-up questions I had:

1. Is there any hope that I can get an Ascher sufficient to be noticed (but yet understated, if that makes any sense at all), or should I scrap it?
2. When you all say work with a dealer, does that mean someone locally? I have not found a single store in my city (I''ve called 12) that even has a single Ascher in stock. If I want to see them in person, I think I''d have to go to Chicago, and I''d really like to avoid that scenario.
3. Is a .70-.80 Ascher stone not able to stand on its own? I thought it was, but don''t have any reason for that thought.
4. Does anyone have any opinions on the stones I actually posted. Are they good values, any of them?

For those that made it through this process standing, guys that is, was it this brutal for you??? My much better half is in Taiwan for Chinese New Year, a huge holiday in her culture. I wanted to make a decision by the time she comes back (26th). Is that a pipe dream? I''m two weeks in and now don''t even know what style stone I want (I thought Ascher, but maybe was wrong?) ... There should be a hotline I could call with some cagey vet on the other end telling me to breathe into a bag, this isn''t the worst mistake of my life (not the proposal, the decision to not just walk into a mall and point to one), I should not buy a Cladder (sp?) ring and tell her I''m Irish and it''s tradition, I should not call my mom and ask for her to take the reins, etc.
 
Emerald cut is another option and can appear bigger in the smaller sizes but you didnt want too get more confused.
You could have Jon shoot an asscher next to an EC next to a round.
 
Dude, your post was hilarious! Seriously...funny stuff. I have to agree with others that a small Asscher isn't going to make people NOTICE THE RING very much because as has already been said (there's an awkward phonetical sentence structure...), Asschers face up much smaller than rounds and cushions. Sometimes being "different" isn't a good thing. If you dont have a ton of money but you want a beautiful ring, I second the idea of just calling Jonathan at GOG and letting him take the reins for you. Plus, he's a dude who's dealt with plenty of guys in your position, and plenty of ladies as well so he can bring insight into which shape to go with. Personally, I work in Asia a lot and I find that classic rounds are very popular with my Asian friends and colleagues...just something to think about...Rounds will give you a bigger stone and thus, all that envy at the bar when people see her ring! And they're classic as well. You might also talk with Jon about GOG's trade up policy so you can trade up one day, if you so choose. One last thing, YES, you are more lucky than you know, to have a woman with tiny doll sized hands. Sure it didn't matter in the past but now, a .70ct will look like a rock on her hand. Lucky you!

Call Jon! No, seriously, get off the internet and call him now.
 
Just my two cents. IMHO if you want people to notice the ring and go wow, a think a round brilliant is a safer bet. If you posted a gorgeous asscher here on PS, you would get lots of WOWs, Gorgeous, etc, because they are really appreciated here, but a lot of people wouldn''t even no what one looked like in real life, they are not as common. Which, is another great reason to get one too, as it''s likely none of her friends would have one. Also, do you have any idea if your girlfriend would like a fancy cut. Some woman are very traditional, and wouldn''t consider anything else than a round for their ering (me included!).

I have heard of a few members being disappointed with the reactions of friends to their fancy cuts, only to have them be blown away by their Ideal cut round brilliant upgrades. I also think nothing beats the sparkle of a RB.

I would go with Whiteflash. Check out the diamonds Diamondseeker posted they are all gorgeous. You can''t go wrong with an ACA. Good luck and don''t forget to post pics!!
 
A beautifully cut round that sparkles like mad is different to what you would normally see out and about. There will be nothing mundane or normal about it.

You said you wanted something very shiny and sparkle a lot I personally don''t think an asscher will do that for you they are beautiful IMO in larger sizes but they don''t sparkle as such they have a different look to them.
 
Oh you poor thing, I know how you feel and I've been doing the research for myself, not someone else! There's a TON of information out there, and sometimes it seems like everyone's speaking in a secret code, doesn't it? I feel your pain.
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But seriously, if you want sparkly, you want a round brilliant (RB). I agree that asschers are GORGEOUS--I love the look of them, the steps are captivating--but for my engagement ring, I want an RB because of the amount of sparkle.

There are some AMAZINGLY knowledgeable people here, mate. You've posted your budget and some basics of what you want in the ring, which is a great place to start. If you have a specific setting in mind that you think would appeal to your lady, show us a photo--otherwise, we'll get to posting some ideas for you to make it a bit less overwhelming for you. Ok?
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Date: 2/11/2008 11:48:22 PM
Author: KtIceRN
Danny how about this setting with either this stone or this stone. These options bring you right around your budget and are some really nice stones. I think this size would be great just enough that people would notice. As far as Asscher cuts I think that trying to find one might stress you out way too much and you should just stick to the easy cuts.


Good luck!
That's a nice setting, KtIceRN! Might be a good idea to get the stone and the setting from the same place too, to minimize the trauma?
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If we DON'T stick to just WF settings, there's this one from Dimend Scaasi that I think is quite elegant (I love the taper!). $700 for the 14K white gold option: http://www.dimendscaasi.com/build/step1.asp?prodID=1A3

dimendscaasi1A3.jpg
 
Ok, Dan;

I know nothing about this stuff, except this one thing:

GO WITH YOUR GUT - IF YOU LIKE THE ASCHER, FIND ONE! My first step was to decide on the kind of stone, after that, the technical stuff sets in, but I know what I want, at least.

If you want the asscher, you will find one that fits you and your GF. I know this is getting ridiculous, with all the techy stuff already. Just stop for a minute right now, and decide on what type of rock you want. Once that decision is made, then go to your dealers, online or at home B&M and ask them for examples of the ascher cut. You can do this, man.

I love the idea that Strmrdr gave you, call that guy, and ask for some videos. You have to remember, whatever diamond retailer you are working with: this is their job, and they get paid to help you out. If you want to see and ascher beside a round, go to your b/m and ask them to bring in an ascher for you. If you like the video idea from strmrdr, then call that guy and ask for a video with an ascher and a video with a round (both together, whatever).

I love the idea of ''seeing'' the stone you are condidering, and I think you should just go for it. I have been looking at Union Diamond and Blue Nile also, however, with more research into more dealers, I found your choices are endless, and you can get some great ''phone'' help from some of the dealers. Again, any dealer you are talking to, remember, this is their job, and they are getting paid whether you buy or not. Let them do thier job and help you out.

I have not yet bought the ring, so I''m still in the same boat, but I am loosing that ''shy'' thing, and asking for the appropriate pictures and certificates when I find a stone that interests me. Not one dealer has told me off yet, they are actually very helpful and happy to help.
 
Date: 2/12/2008 12:08:07 AM
Author: strmrdr
Want a no puke no worry way to buy an asscher....
the easy way...
Call Jon at www.goodoldgold.com tell him what you want.
He calls in a few stones, shots a video, gives his professional opinion, you pick one and your done.
Have him shoot it beside a Round in your price range for comparison.

Why Jon..
1: I bought my wifey2b's diamond from him, he rocks.
2: He knows asschers
3: videos are kewl.
FOllow strmrdr's advice... strm is THE local asscher expert on PS, so if he says that Jon is on the money, then you can probably trust that! Plus, GOG has a 100% return policy so you are safe dealing with the company over the internet. Jon can show you asschers, rounds, and emeralds on video, then you can let your gut decide which you like! Leave the technical stuff up to a trusted expert (like Jon) and then all you have to do is go with your emotions and fall in love with a stone!

ETA: I have .5 ct emerald cuts as side stones on my e-ring and they look great! I stare at them all the time! Since emerald cuts and asschers are the same type of cut, I think that a .70ct asscher would look beautiful, romantic, and lovely if that is what you want to get!
DD
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He is really going to be confused now! I really think the round is the safest bet UNLESS she has asked for a specific cut stone! A round will be the most sparkly and will give you more size.

Choose either Good Old Gold or WhiteFlash and call them up and they will help you find a gorgeous stone. Having an expert help you takes all of the misery out of the equation! But I think you are going to be disappointed with the overall appearance of an asscher that small since you want the ring to make an impression, so if it were me, I would totally let that idea go. That will make the process so much easier.
 
fligring.jpg

This is Hest88''s sister''s asscher. At .87 carat is was the smallest I''ve found set. I''ll keep searching for pictures for you.
 
Here is Dolphingirl''s .72, and it''s set in a gorgeous split shank halo.

kmasscherhalo1.jpg
 
Hi Danny. I can understand how hard this is for you. I didn''t see anything in your post about what your girlfriend would like, only what you like. Do you know what she would want? It took me a long time to decide what I wanted even though I knew what I liked. There are just so many factors to consider. If you are frustrated and indecisive, maybe it''s best to propose without a ring and pick something out together. Or, with a nice round cut from a vendor with an upgrade policy and then let her upgrade it to something she likes. My point is, I hope her ring is something she loves and takes her breath away everytime she looks at it, and not just because the love of her life gave it to her.
 
I just want to say that everything you''ve said so far is very sweet, your girlfriend would be flattered to know how much thought (and angst
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) is going into this process!

I know absolutely nothing about asschers, but I agree that if that''s really what catches your eye, that''s what you should get (as long as she''s never expressed that she doesn''t like asschers or particularly likes a different cut). I also think that if you''re worried about the size not standing out enough, you should try to find a setting with simple sidestones to give it a little more sparkle. ERD has some that I think would like nice with an asscher:

setting #1

setting #2 (this one doesn''t show the front view, you have to go back a page)

OR, for even less (and a lot of selection to choose from) check out these on Jamesallen.com:

more settings! with one of these stones....

stone 1 stone 2 stone 3

There are a lot more stones to choose from, and you could easily stay within your budget with a nice looking stone and a pretty setting, PLUS, you could get the stone and setting from the same place which would probably save you some stress.

Good luck!
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You guys really are awesome. Seriously, why are you helping me so much. Anyway, thank you a ton!! if i EVER succeed, I''ll post the ring, the proposal, and naked pics (err wrong site, pics wearing the ring, i promise) (i''m not really some perv, just having a little fun.)

To "A Day Late" (i think that''s ur name ... guy with the duck picture), your advice was GENUINELY appreciated a ton. I am looking at round brilliants as suggested, but something about Ascher''s won''t go away for me.

In reading another post, I think I can pinpoint another reason why I like em -- I like the idea of being able to see into it. I think it''s cool that you can look right in, try to see something wrong, etc., but nope, its just a perfectly clear stone. the bad thing is that the more I can see into it (don''t let my technical terms confuse you) the less it sparkles, right?? Can''t I have both?? Someone posted something about "crushed ice". I think I don''t like that look. Rightly or wrongly, for some reason I feel like that look is masking something imperfect "down in" the stone. I''ll preempt some suggestions by stating I''m not interested in any other "fancy" shape (Aschers to me seem somehow traditional, other fancy shapes do not, though i''m sure they are wonderful to others).

Holy crap, I just read that and seriously don''t know if I can even post it. Be honest, am i the dumbest, most completely lost guy in the history of this board? Don''t lie! I have no pride left ... it hurts.

MAYBE MOST IMPORTANTLY, I really loved the "dolphinlady" ring. That''s almost exactly the ring I initially saw before I had any clue how insane this process would get and immediately liked (i shoulda just bought the dang thing, which was way out of my budget at 10K). It is also a ring my GF liked. Band is a little different. In answer to someone''s question, I don''t know too much about what she wants. However, I do know she wants something simple, not too much going on in terms of stuff popping out everywhere and at all different angles. Again, I did (smoothly) show her the ring similar to the dolphin''s ring and she liked it. I do NOT want to just buy some standard ring and tell her if she doesn''t like it she can pick another one. For one thing, to me it''s just bailing out. Second, it places her in a potentially awkward position, and is less romantic. I want her to see this thing and melt. 40 years from now, i want her to remember what she thgt when she saw it, not remember how the proposal was great and then we picked a different ring. I RESPECT AND APPRECIATE THAT GREAT MEMORIES CAN BE ACHIEVED GOING ABOUT THIS PROCESS IN MANY WAYS, but I''m dedicated to at least trying to pick the perfect ring in my mind''s eye.

1. Can I get a shiny round brilliant the I can see into? (They look kind of black when you look right at them ... why do I feel like that means it isn''t as "good"?)

(At this point, even if you all ignore, i''ll still post ... it''s sort of therapy for me.)
 
Hey, if she wants an asscher, then get the girl an asscher! They don''t ''sparkle'' as much, but they are GORgeous, no one is disagreeing with that!
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Danny, let me make a suggestion to help you here.

I'd recommend going to an upscale jeweler in your area that carries fine-make stones. Ask him to see an asscher and a round brilliant in your budget range.

I understand that you want something 'distinctive', and if that is an asscher to you, then you should do it. However, in order to be happy with your decision, I think you need to actually see in person what the tradeoffs and benefits are to your choices.

You said you wanted 'sparkle', but asschers don't have that same sparkle factor that rounds do. Instead, the emphasis for asschers is that miles-deep transparent look. To achieve that look, there has to be depth to the stone, and that depth comes at expensing of losing diameter (size?).

I understand wanting something different, believe me. I felt the same way - wanted something a bit more 'unique' than a classic round solitaire. I realized, though, that there are ways to make round solitaires your own and unique. Much of that can come in how you set the stone. You could set small colored stones into the gallery as Pauly1 did in his ring pictured below. You could put a surprise ruby or birthstone-colored stone on either side of the head. You could have small colored stones set into the shank of the ring.

I guess I'm trying to tell you that there are ways to make a round brilliant stone unique with a little imagination.

If you have your heart set on an asscher, then please do go see it compared to a round to make sure you'll like it in the size/range your budget will support. If you still do, then by all means, find a beautiful asscher stone.

Another thought: many have noted that asschers show their steps better in larger stones. Perhaps you could consider an asscher-cut colored stone (i.e. aquamarine, citrine, pink sapphire, etc), and accent that with diamonds. Then you get a larger stone (fulfills the 'noticeable' quotient), a unique ring (something others won't have), and something that shows off the feature you most like about asschers (the step cut).

EDITED TO ADD: Forgot to add the picture, so I'll put it in the next post.
 
Danny, here is what I meant by making a round brilliant unique by adding colored stone accents.

pauly1ringsapphires.jpg
 
If his total for the ring is $2500, I don''t think a custom setting is in the picture. But that Greenlake setting is very pretty!

A halo is the perfect way to add some sparkle and size to an asscher, though. We''ll have to look and see if there is one that will work with your budget.
 
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