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thinking i''m going to quit my job!

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flutterby

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I moved to LA in January with my, then fiance. He is from out here and missed it. My company was opening a store here in the grove and I got a decent (if not underpaid promotion) to move out here. Well, it was an adjustment and i didnt really love my job at the new location.

A few weeks before the wedding, i found out about an opening at a luxury hotel. I''ve been miserably working there for nearly 6 months. I dont know if its just been the adjustment to LA, or if I really hate working, or if it is that i dont know what i want to do with my life..... but i''m miserable. My job makes me cry several times a week. I have no friends or life because of my terrible hours. And I am not at all fulfilled in my job.

I am about 50% sure I am going to put in my notice today. Its been a tough decision. I make SUBSTANTIALLY more $$$ than i am used to, but my quality of life is horrible. As a Department Manager I have a great team, but I am not part of any consistent team and I hate it. So other than the money, and the embaressment of looking for work....I''m done.

How stupid is it to quit a job without having another one. I''ve never had a hard time finding work, but this is LA!! Dont be too terribly harsh, I''m fragile!!!!!!!
 

flutterby

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oh, and my husband is okay with me not working for awhile (or forever)
 

robbie3982

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QUIT! I know people will probably tell you that you should wait until you have something lined up, but your mental health is soooo much more important than money and it seems like you''ll be fine even if it takes you a while to find something.

I was recently in a similiar situation. I HATED my job. Cried myself to sleep almost every night. One day I just couldn''t take it anymore and broke down to my then bf (now FI). He convinced me that it''s ok to quit and we decided that I''d move out to OH with him (I was living and working in PA). It was the BEST decision I''ve ever made.

It took me all summer to find a new job, and it''s still not necessarily my dream job, but I''m sooo much happier.
 

movie zombie

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Jan 20, 2005
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its always easier to find a job if you already have a job. however, your situation is different: you don''t have to work. so don''t! take your time, get through the holiday season, and see where you''re at in january. many would be envious of your position of not having to work and having a relationship which is supportive of your not bringing in $$$.

movie zombie
 

SoonIHope

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another vote for QUIT!!!!

I am in a similar (but slightly less miserable, it sounds like) position, and I am allllllll about mental health. If you can''t function normally/happily, then what does it matter how much money you make?? You need to do whatever needs to be done to make yourself happy, and if you have a wonderful husband willing to support you during your "looking" period, then there''s really no reason to keep making yourself miserable!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!


(And FYI my plan is to most likely quit a few weeks before my wedding - with nothing else lined up - so I can just relax (hehe relatively) with my last minute projects and take my honeymoon etc with no time crunch, and THEN look for the new job. It''s a bit scary and I''m expecting lots of "you''re crazy, get another job lined up first!!" reactions, but after staying in the same job the temp agency put me in (well, the same company, they''ve promoted me several times) for over 3 years, I am SO SO READY to actually PICK where I want to be and be in control of my life!!! When they actually offered me a much more interesting/relevant opportunity within the company that might help with my long term goals I started crying (hehe well at home that night, not on the spot!) because of the thought that I might do the "practical" thing AGAIN and just take what was offered instead of CHOOSING, so I''m pretty set on quitting in June regardless of how well that turns out. Okay this is totally all about me, sorry! But point being - if you can afford to be out of work for a little while while you''re searching, then I see NO REASON to keep putting up with something you hate that much!!!!!)
 

diamondseeker2006

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I''d agree as long as you seriously don''t plan to work anytime soon. It is easier to get a new job when you are currently employed.
 

KimberlyH

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msflutter,

I was in a similar situation to yours not too long ago. I moved from Sacramento to San Diego 2 years ago to be near my now husband. I enjoyed the job I left and landed in a position I detested (I felt like I was being asked to compromise my beliefs to represent the company'' and that the better I did the more I was asked to do as opopsed to being acknowledged for what I was already doing (yes, I know it''s the corporate way of doing things)). I was so unhappy and it was affectingmy personality and our relationship and I just felt so unsettled and John said "quit." So I did. I''m in school now and currently not working and I/we couldn''t be happier. I am waiting to get my emergency credential and them I''ll substitute, but I''ve spent the last 6 months just focusing on school and being a happy newlywed.

You''re not being silly or stupid and if he''s okay with you not working and it won''t hurt you financially then take some time off and find a new direction! Or none at all, if you so chose as it sounds like that is an option.
 

Allisonfaye

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I don''t know exactly what your field is but my answer would also depend on what the job market was like in your field. If it is not good and it takes you a while to find a new job, it could be difficult to explain the lengthy gap in your resume to future employers. Just a thought.
 

Cehrabehra

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Date: 12/18/2006 4:44:44 PM
Author: msflutter
oh, and my husband is okay with me not working for awhile (or forever)
I haven''t worked since I had my first child.... but if you enjoy working you should continue to do so until you no longer wish to or you have reasons not to.... you know what they say - the best time to look for a job is when you already have one - but that said, I carried around a signed letter of resignation (just needed to fill in a date) for SIX months at my last job.... I hated it too. I shoulda just quit right away and looked for something else, but if money is even remotely an issue, then I''d definitely get a new job first, but start NOW look for it!
 

Mara

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i say go for it msflutter...you are lucky in that you don't have to have another job lined up first, so take advantage of it! right before our wedding 3 years ago our team at work was dissolved which was perfect for me becuase i was planning to leave after we came back from the honeymoon anyway. i hated it there. so i got a package when the team was dissolved, it was such great timing. and then when we came home, i took my time looking for something new.

i don't believe in work or jobs making you HAPPY but i also don't believe in them making you sad or miserable either. a good salary and hopefully not too much stress is really all i require from a job...i work so that we can afford to do other things outside of the office environment. i would definitely not stay somewhere if i cried a few times a week (or at all!). anyway, don't feel guilty about thinking about quitting, if your DH is fine with it and you feel good about moving on from this place then DO IT!!
 

KristyDarling

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Ugh, what a miserable situation to be in. If your job is causing you to cry a few times a week, that is totally not normal so get the heck out asap! The beauty of it is that you don''t HAVE to work, so don''t pressure yourself too much. Quit, enjoy some time off to recover from the trauma of your job, and look for something else. Don''t worry about the "embarrassment" of finding a new job. There is no shame in finding a new gig, again *if* you decide you want to work.

Just keep in mind that your job does not define who you are.
Good luck!

PS - care to share which Santa Monica hotel? We always stay at the Hotel Oceana and we love it there.
 

ChargerGrrl

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Oh wow, MsF- so sorry to hear that you''re going thru job woes. Although I too believe that it''s easier to find another job when you already have one, I''m a HUGE fan of work/life balance. If you''re miserable at your job, then by all means quit! Work to live, don''t live to work!

haha- I wish I could take my own advice right now, as I''m slowly starting to despise my job. I''ve been at this company for 6 years, and it used to be FUN and creative. But we went thru a re-org a couple of months ago and things have changed drastically. The money is pretty good, but it''s just not worth it to me anymore. I''m waiting to see what happens in 2007, but I anticipate quitting after bonuses are paid out and I''ve landed a new job that will take me in the direction I want to go in - marketing and NOT sales!

BTW- check your email in a day or so for an evite.
 

mtrb

Shiny_Rock
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Mar 8, 2003
Messages
207
Life is about quality. It only lasts about 80 years or so, so do what makes you happy. Quit if you wish. Worst comes to worst, take a temp to perm job..they are a dime a dozen these days. I quit once and was unemployed for 2.5 months. They were not the greatest, but I will tell you.. the feeling of freedom from a job I used to dread and waited in the parking lot until the abosute last minute each morning...it was worth it.
 

VegasAngel

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Joined
Oct 12, 2005
Messages
1,532
QUIT! you havent been there long & there is no sense dragging things out. You might as well do it now & get out of an unhappy situation.

I quit my miserable job of 6 years in 2005 & it was the best move I EVER MADE. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I was to the point that I was calling in frequently, crying on the way to work etc... I would be driving up Spring Mtn. Rd. & as soon as I saw the Venetian (Employer) I would immediately become angry & remain that way the rest of the day. I felt like I didnt belong there that I was doing my self a disservice as well as the Venetian. There were plenty of people telling me wait until you find a new job, why leave you have a good thing, blah, blah, blah. I had to do what was BEST FOR ME.

here is the way I looked at it: I had to do what was going to make me happy & what I felt was best. As far as I know I will be working for what another 50? years why do I want to be miserable? Why not find a position I would be happy with you know? My life is in my hands; the world is in my hands, what do I want from it?


Anyway, my plan was to take 3 months off to just relax, collect my thoughts, re evaluate my goals & then look for a new position. I never began a job search as I found out I was pregnant. Now, I dont want to go back to work at all.
 

winternight

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Nov 12, 2006
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887
I have a little bit different of a take, I think you''re really stressed and the move has been hard but that you should give yourself a week or two to decide on quitting, and wait until after the holidays to make the final decision (because its always a little stressful around this time of year). Personally, my career is incredibly important to me and I would want to find another job first just because in my field long employment gaps can be a big problem. You can start looking at other jobs and maybe put in some applications meantime. Now if you don''t want to work and if you aren''t worried about the career gap issue then go ahead and quit, just give them enough notice.
 

TravelingGal

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Dec 29, 2004
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17,193
Well, we are about to hit the new year, which is certainly a better time to look for jobs. If you don''t have to work, I''m all for mental health too. If you haven''t made quitting before you''ve found a job a habit in the past, once or twice in a long stretch won''t kill you. I say this because I know people who have quit several times before they''ve found a job because of "mental health", but then they have to grapple with the fact that they feel like losers/quitters.

I do have one kind of funny reason to wait two more weeks until you quit though...because of your resume. They say don''t put employment dates on resumes anymore, but some people still want them. I usually put only the year. So by waiting a couple of weeks, your resume will look fresher because the end date of your job will be 2007 instead of 2006.
 

flutterby

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May 1, 2005
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Thanks for all the advice.

I just put in my two week notice. My direct supervisor isnt here, but I gave it to HR, who knew that i was unhappy in my job. There has been so much turnover in my position, in the 7 months before me they went through 5 managers! So HR is well aware of the issues!

It feels good. As miserable as I am, I put in notice, I work in hospitality management so my last day is New Years Eve. Hopefully my last year working thanksgiving day, christmas day, and new years eve. But never say Never! I know the food and beverage director is going to ask me to stay, but I am 90% certain I''m done.

I do know its better to look for a job when you have one, but its LA, and it seems work history, at least in my field seems to be a bit flexible! SO hopefully I will find something else (or find out i''m preg like vegas angel). All in all, it means no more handbags for me! Is that why I subconsciously bought so many this month?

I feel so free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Tacori E-ring

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20,037
Yeah! I am so glad you quit. No amount of money is worth being so unhappy. You are so lucky to have such a supportive DH
I would take some time so you can realize what it is you really want to do with your life. You have been through so many life changes recently (moving cross country, marriage, new jobs). Take some time for yourself!!!
 

robbie3982

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Congrats MsFlutter! The first few weeks after I quit my horrible job I felt sooo amazingly free and happy.
 

Kaleigh

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Date: 12/18/2006 7:30:44 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Yeah! I am so glad you quit. No amount of money is worth being so unhappy. You are so lucky to have such a supportive DH
I would take some time so you can realize what it is you really want to do with your life. You have been through so many life changes recently (moving cross country, marriage, new jobs). Take some time for yourself!!!
Ditto, am glad you quit. Take your time to find a job that will be a good fit for you and will allow you to have a life. Life is too short to work at a job that makes you miserable. Thank goodness your hubby is so supportive. Enjoy this time off, get refreshed and smell the roses for a bit. Good luck!!!
 

gailrmv

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Nov 8, 2005
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3,136
I''m so glad that you made the move! My first job after college was prestigious, paid well, and many people would have been thrilled to have it. I thought I would be too, but it turned out that working long irregular hours for very unpredictable clients was making me miserable! After 8 months we had a chance to move for my DH''s job and we took it. Here, I found a job that paid less, was less prestigious, but where I really liked and respected my boss and coworkers and felt good about the type of work we were doing, not to mention having better and more predictable hours. It was a very good move for me! I wish you the best of luck with your job search (and enjoying some time off in the meantime!)
 

snlee

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 6, 2004
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5,891
msflutter, so glad to hear you quit! 5 managers in the 7 months!?! Ahhh! There are definitely problems!! I''m glad you got out. One of my co-workers works at a hotel as her second job. She too had to work horrible hours - nights, weekends, and holidays. She as two small children and it was just really sad to hear that she couldn''t spend as much time with them as she wanted. Missing weekend and holidays with your family suck!

It''s great that your hubby doesn''t mind you not working a little while. It doesn''t put pressure on you to hurry and find another job that may not be a good fit.

Good luck with the job search, when you do decide to start. But for now enjoy the freedom!!!
 

perry

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msflutter:

Good decission. Now if the company is worth much and values a good employee - they may make huge chages and fix things so that you would be willing to stay.

I have faced several "crises" in my current job - when things were not working out. Fortunately, in the nuke industry we have some alternate paths to resolve things and I was able to work through the employee concerns program on my first issue and get things fixed. The second issue was more of a challange about maintaining my standards and not giving in. I directly confronted the manager in question with the fact that I thought that I was hired becasue of my ethics and my credibility - and if that is not what they wanted then they ought to let me know (and I would have let them fire me - which he figured out real quick). He backed down real fast and I earned a lot of respect in high places when the story got out.

Things still arn''t prefect (I worked till 9:00 PM today) - but they are a lot more liviable than several years ago and the job is a lot more on my terms.

Best of luck, and if you need anything let me know.

Perry
 

kcoursolle

Super_Ideal_Rock
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10,589
If you were miserable...then you made the right decision. You''ll find something you like better and you will also warm up to LA a bit. I''ve been here for two years and now I''m FINALLY starting to like it! Some of the locals say you hate it for the first year, but never leave if you stay for 10.
 

flutterby

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Well, I did it, kind of. I have even begun to tell people that I''m done. The executive committee doesnt want me to leave and have even offered me a few positions. The one that doesnt sound aweful, but is a demotion of sorts is the executive assistant to the regional president of sales and marketing. I''m going to talk to him about it today. It isnt a promotion, but i dont think a promotion is what I want. I think I could be happy working monday through friday....... and if it isnt what I want at least it would be workable, unlike my current situation.
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 12/21/2006 2:17:41 PM
Author: msflutter
Well, I did it, kind of. I have even begun to tell people that I''m done. The executive committee doesnt want me to leave and have even offered me a few positions. The one that doesnt sound aweful, but is a demotion of sorts is the executive assistant to the regional president of sales and marketing. I''m going to talk to him about it today. It isnt a promotion, but i dont think a promotion is what I want. I think I could be happy working monday through friday....... and if it isnt what I want at least it would be workable, unlike my current situation.
Do you like the people there? Maybe it would be worth staying if they can work out a monday-friday job. After all, in January ''tis the season to pay off those holiday credit card bills!
 

perry

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Good for you. If it is even half good take the other position. Then see if you can morph it into something you like; or at least you have a job while looking for others (and don't have to take the first thing that comes up).

I'm betting the executive committee will figure something out long term that works for you if you are willing to work for them while they work it out with you.

In my case; today I had a discussion with my manger about changing my current position. I had let it known in the previous weeks that I wanted to discuss things. Today was good timing for both of us.

In my case they will have to essentially create a new position to accomodate my request. It also sheds some responsibility and major time committments - and should give me a better schedule. I even presented a writup of my long term desired "dream job" (which does not exist at all at my plant - yet), my current duties & issues, what work I feel needs to be done by me due to my expertise or the project stage, and what could be transfered to others, what duties would be in a year or so transfer of position.

Of course, no guarantees on any of it; but I'm betting I at least get most of what I'm looking for. The manager now has to talk to the other managers - and upper management - and my supervisor (who was on vacation today - but he knew I was going to have the discussion and that I was looking for changes) - and other affected people (who is going to take over for most of what I do now).

Key is that their is nothing wrong with taking a position with lessor responsibility and negotiating a position you want (you might not get it all - but you usually move in that direction). My manager said that the best part was my outline writup - so that he could show it to other managers and get buy in on the changes. Even if all I do is the transition plan for now it would be a great help - and I know that ultimately the decission on if my "dream job" will exist at the end of the transition (where I turnover my job while completing some projects) is beyond either of our decissions - except that I asked them to create it. If it doesn't get created - then I'll have to do something else at that point.

Best luck with things and keep your chin up.

Perry
 

Tacori E-ring

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I hope one of the other positions work out for you. There is NO need to be so unhappy at work.
 

IrishAngel7982

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Good for you msflutter. It sounds like you''re valued at your job, which is great! Maybe this position will be a bit better for you. If it isn''t, you can always start a job search after the new year (if you want to that is!)
 

cutes814

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msflutter, i''m so glad you''re getting out of your unhappy job. no job is worth crying a few times every week. or worth crying over period.

regarding your new offer for the executive assistant position, i was an executive assistant for our regional vice president before and i could not stand the job! the schedule was great tho! mon-fri, 9-6 and i usually got off early on fridays, like at 3pm, but it was SO BORING!

all i did everyday was prepare for meetings, arrange meetings and conferences, compile reports and send out emails. it was a dull dull job. i remember every afternoon, at about 3pm, i''ll be done with all my stuff and i''ll surf PS for the next 3 hours before i got off. the days went by so slowly...plus i was alone in this huge office all the time, since our RVP was always on the road.

just something for you to consider. the job is great for people that like to keep to themselves and do office work, but i am so not that type of person. nothing wrong with liking a position like that of course, but i''m just saying it was SO NOT me. i love to interact with people and customers, which is why i switched back to work in a dealership as a finance director. my days go by a lot quicker now.
 
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