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Things you would do differently if you could

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gail013

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
335
I do not normally post here, as we have been married for 20 years, but I was thinking the other day, that there were so many things I would do differently if I had the chance to do my wedding over again. Has there already been a thread about that ?
 

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KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
I don''t know if there is a thread, but I''ll answer this one.

I would change nothing. Planning was easy and a ton of fun, we had our closest friends surrounding us and we stayed true to our agreement at the beginning of planning -- that our wedding would be lovely and enjoyable but we would not get so wrapped up in planning that we forgot what the whole point was, us merging our lives and creating our own little family.
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
12,928
The happy hubby and I eloped in Las Vegas. I wouldn''t change a thing with one small exception: my flowers. Flowers were included in the package deal we got and I never even gave it a thought until we actually arrived for the wedding. The couple in front of us had brought their own bouquet and it was SO much nicer than the flowers they gave me. In my pictures they look a little sad and grim--lots of greenery and baby''s breath and about 3 rosebuds, LOL. So, knowing now what I didn''t know then, I would have gotten my own bouquet somewhere else and ix-nayed the ones they gave me. Other than that the whole thing was PERFECT!
 

TravelingGal

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2004
Messages
17,193
I''m also happy to say I wouldn''t change a thing, EXCEPT...

To stop dancing long enough to eat a piece of my wedding cake. I totally forgot about it!
 

mercoledi

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 20, 2006
Messages
2,822
I wish my photographer had shown up, and that we''d taken some time to walk the grounds at the inn, but the ceremony itself couldn''t have been any better.
 

stretch4

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2004
Messages
4,360
I would have changed the color of my flowers. Also, I would have asked my photographer to take a table picture of each table so we could have a pic of everyone at the wedding.
That''s it!
 

gail013

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
335
Well here''s some of what I would change-

I would not let my mother talk me into registering for china, but I would consider registering for holiday dishes of some sort.

I would not spend so much money on pics I would hardly look at after our first few years together. I would spend the money on nice informal pics of our close friends and relatives, but I would do about two of the formal group pics and move on. There have been some really gorgeous pics on here and I would have loved some of those. It''s just that years later, how many pics of your wedding party do you need?

I wish I could have afforded to have my flowers professionally dried, so I could have incorporated the bouquet somehow into my home forever.

I would not do formal bridesmaid dresses again. No matter what anyone thinks they hardly get worn again, and no dyeable shoes... I would however buy something cute and fashionable at a JCrew or Black and White or something, and I would really let the girls be more involved in picking them out. Maybe even have the guys wear a dark suit and gorgeous tie instead of the tux.

Instead of having 6 bridesmaids and having to include this cousin and that cousin, I would take it down to two or three, and just keep it simpler. It seemed so important at the time.

We were very broke, my hubbie was in school when we got married, and our wedding was so inexpensive and it was still fun. I am such a bargain shopper that I found a dress on clearance for $150, and my mom and grandmother embelished it with beads and sequins which was special.. But I know my mom would have like me to wear her dress. I was foolishly stubborn, and a few years ago when I tried it on, I was ashamed of myself, it was so beautiful. But I guess we all learn. At the time I REALLY wanted a designer dress that was $1200 and it was just not in the budget. I do regret that.

There were many times I felt we made compromises to keep everyone happy, and sometimes it''s worth it, sometimes it''s not. The night went by so fast, and 20 yrs ago not everyone had recorders, so the night is a blur (except for all the posed group photos!). I do remember feeling so thrilled that people took the time to come and celebrate with us.

We may do an anniversary party someday just to do it right. I would love to do it over again and throw a fabulous party.
 

Molly1024

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 18, 2006
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493
I wish we had had a smaller guest list in order to have a prettier venue, better photog, and my dream dress. I also wish our cake wasn''t ugly, but it tasted good!
 

San Diego Bride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
392
i can honestly say i completely enjoyed my wedding day and have no regrets. some days i wonder if we should have had a videographer for the ceremony though. i definitely wouldn''t want a video of the reception, but i think it would be nice to hear/see the ceremony again. it''s not exactly a regret, but something i maybe should have thought harder about.
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
What a great idea.

I would not let the little things get to me. People who were petty and not supportive would be OUT. I also bowed to pressure and allowed my sister in law to be to be in my wedding. It was not her thing, and I really felt I did not need her, did not want to force her, but the powers that be were forcing me. I was not happy. She was not either, and it shows on her face in all my pictures. I would also try to enjoy the moment because it was a BLUR and I do not recall much...but people said it was a great wedding!
 

gailrmv

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 8, 2005
Messages
3,136
From one Gail to another... really only a few small things. I would arrange to get all the posed pictures done before the ceremony so that we would not have missed any of our reception while doing pictures. Also, I would not have stressed about the small stuff as much. Maybe moved the whole timeline earlier by about an hour, since many of our guest left before we planned for the reception to be over. Maybe not spent the $$ for a videographer, since we've only watched the video a few times (need to get it converted to DVD!) Although, I think the video was really nice to share with people who could not be at the wedding. It's been more than 5 years, and I have great memories of our wedding day!
 

Tacori E-ring

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
20,009
hire a different videographer
 

qtiekiki

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 14, 2004
Messages
3,876
- Get a different MC/DJ for our second reception. She was a disaster. We had a great time despite of her, but it could had been even better. hehehe.
 

Jelly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 19, 2005
Messages
2,518
1. So much money was wasted because there were several no-shows and we paid for their dinners.

2. I wish I had more say in the pictures that our photographer took.

3. I didn''t have time to personally talk to everyone, and I didn''t eat any cake (okay maybe one bite) and there was none leftover.


4. I spent tons of time worrying about having enough beverages/wine/beer and most of it we handed out afterwards because we had too much.

5. We skipped out on a honeymoon because of finances, but spent a ton of money on the wedding.
 

ChargerGrrl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
2,865
Overall, I was very happy with how my wedding day turned out. It was FABULOUS, and I know if sounds cliche, but it truly was the best day of my life.

Funny that the two things I would''ve done differently were pic-related:
1- We have NO pics with groups of different friends. Apart from a group pic of all my bachelorette gals, that''s it!
2- I probably could''ve done with one or two less hours of photog time. I booked him until the end of the reception (10:30p), hoping that he could get a "getaway" pic in the towncar I secured. Well, the reception ended at 10:30, and we took so much time saying our goodbyes that it was just before 11p when we finally left. The photog was long gone by then. So either book your photog for at least 1/2 hour after the end of the reception to properly record your getaway, or forgo those extra hours at the reception. We got some great reception pics of people dancing, but we really didn''t need him after 8:45p when we cut the cake.
 

eks6426

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
2,011
The only thing my husband and I would change is the shoes we bought his then 15 year old son....we would have bought them in the size my husband wears instead of one size smaller. The 15 year old complained endlessly that his shoes were too tight (he was used to wearing sneakers too large). If we would have been smart enough to buy them larger my husband could now be wearing the $100 shoes that will never be worn again. That is definitely the silliest thing to change, but other than that we''d change nothing.

This was a 2nd weddinig for us both so I had plenty of thoughts on how to do things "better" the 2nd time. Our wedding was definitely us and we did not let friends or family influence us at all so we got exactly what WE wanted.

My favorite part...leaving directly from the reception for the honeymoon. We had a mid afternoon reception and flew out at 7pm that night. My hair & make up was still done and I had my bouquet. Everyone treated us special. It was much more exciting than staying in a hotel locally.
 

tanyak

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2005
Messages
209
My one do-over is I would have taken MORE posed photos. I thought I wanted all candids, and I ended up with TONS of dancing photos. I wish I had taken a posed photo with the GM, a posed photo with my maids individually, a photo with my mom, brother and me, etc. I know a lot of people rail against posed shots (I did, too!), but I think they can capture moments just as well as candids.
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
9,143
Honestly, I wouldn''t change a single thing. Not one.

We did what we wanted, we kept it simple and small, and we invited only those we really wanted to invite.

That was absolutely the most magical day of my life......not a single regret!
 

crowmama

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 20, 2001
Messages
161
Ours was a lovely wedding, and some said it was the most fun wedding they''ve been to, even after 6 years. But I would make some changes:

1) I had a VERY limited budget for spending on my stuff, and opted to invite more family (I have a large family) and skimp on the dress ($200 for dress, veil, etc.). Today, since I earn more, I would still invite all those family members, but upgrade the dress bigtime.

2) My husband said he''d host less people. His mother invited a TON of people, many of whom he barely knew, for social/political reasons. But since she paid for their dinners, she had a say in it.
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
well, this will be my first marriage,

but it''s my second engagement...and the one main "theme" for what i''m doing differently this planning process versus the last time (we called it off 6 months ahead- phew)
is the basic fact of making it OUR wedding.

the last time, I was so worried about ticking off friends that I was going to have 9 bm''s instead of just having my sisters, which is what I''m doing this time. frankly my friends are glad to be "just" a guest- being a guest is a huge honor in and of itself, and everyone was more than understanding about my wish to keep it simple.

the last time, I was so worried about what my parents would think that I never thought outside the box of having a traditional church mass and dinner following. this time we''re having a traditional ceremony & reception but at an untraditional venue, because it is a place that we both love and went to for the first time together, and means something to us.

the last time I was so worried about hurting people''s feelings that I had sooo many people on the guest list (co-workers, friends from high school, college, etc.) This time we are thinking long and hard about how to include the most important people while keeping it to 100 or less, so that we can truly enjoy our guests and each other.
 

ladykemma

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2006
Messages
2,194
married a long time ago, i would have rather eloped to lake tahoe. i wanted to go to lake tahoe but hubby and family insisted on the big wedding with tuxes and all. my hubby organized most of it and my side did all the cooking.
 

Minny

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 22, 2004
Messages
79
My one big regret is that I totally did not look at my soon-to-be husband as I was walking down the aisle!!! I was nervous, crying, and overwhelmed with all of those emotions that I think I looked straight ahead or maybe even down at the floor.
It didn''t help that it was a very tiny aisle.....but I wish I could have calmed down a bit and looked at DH!!!

Other than that, the night was just amazing.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
i loved our wedding and how it turned out, we did it the right way for us with the destination with our closest family and friends. but the one thing i would change is my expectations of how i felt obligated to make sure everyone had a good time. i was kind of stressed out feeling like 'well everyone came to see us' so i felt like i had to be sure everyone was taken care of at all times and had things to do, no one was 'left out' of festivities etc. when in reality i think people tend to be able to take care of themselves...i think i took too much burden for them having a good time onto myself. it all worked out fine in the end though. oh and the one other thing i would change would be i wouldn't have my matron of honor have been involved. she was pretty slacky and unbenownst to me was upsetting all the rest of the bridal party by not pulling her weight...no one wanted to bug me with it but they were also not happy with me for not MAKING her participate (when i was pretty clueless as to how bad it was i guess). so i think if i had taken her out of the equation then it would have been much better for everyone and everyone else would have been happier (and in hindsight i dont think she would have been offended if i didn't ask her to be moh). but other than those two emotional/people kind of things, everything about the actual wedding itself and the time had by all was PERFECT!

oh yeah! i'd remember to look at my vows the day of so i wouldn't space and forget them and burst into tears crying at the altar. yep..would definitely change that part.
 
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