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They thought I was crazy... but I was right!

Gypsy

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So everyone loses a bit of their mind when they are planning the wedding. I spent hours in Micheal's agonizing over ribbon-- and I can't even remember why!

BUT there were some things that, while other's thought I was a bit loony about, I am so glad I did anyway! What were yours?

Mine: First, makeup and hair:
At first I thought I'd do my own makeup. Then I hired a person with great reviews to do both hair and makeup. DId a trial and while everyone else thought everything was fine, I just wasn't happy. So I cut some stuff in the budget out altogether and hired the best hair and makeup person in the bay area at the price of $1000 for the day. And they thought I was nuts. My best decision, period. I am so happy at the way I look in my photos. And I KNOW I couldn't have done it myself, and that the original lady that was supposed to do my look wouldn't have been able to achieve the same results.

Second, venue:
We changed venues 3 months to our wedding date. Ate our lost deposit and never looked back. Our original venue's didn't commit to their chef doing our event (fancy wording) and the food that was lovely WITH him, was inedible without his direct oversight at the two tastings we went to. So we switched-- it was a complete PITA and so stressful (had to stop the invites at the printing press until we could book the new venue, etc.). To this day I get comments that our reception had some of the best food and I really loved our venue. And the other venues has numerous complaints on yelp about the food at weddings.

What did you stick to your guns about that you are happy you did!
 

mrsjacob

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Hey, it was YOUR day. I never get down on people for spending what they want to spend on the things they REALLY want.

People thought I was crazy because I REALLY wanted 2 receptions.

We've got some extremely reserved family members, so we had a "family friendly" no-alcohol reception, and then later that night after all the grandmas and kiddos were in bed, we had an outdoor party with bluegrass, beer, and a bonfire. The best part was that there was so many leftovers from the original reception, we were able to use the same food. Plus, it gave all the people with schedule conflits a chance to see us on our wedding day.

Both receptions were a blast. I can't imagine it any other way.
 

NewEnglandLady

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Great idea, Gypsy. I'm so glad you stuck to your guns on the things that mattered to you most.

My two things were:

1. Inviting my guests' dogs. D and I rented a big house on the water and invited my family to come stay with us for several days. Apparently some members of my family thought it was "tacky" that I was inviting everybody's dogs to come. I didn't get the big deal since I'm a huge dog lover and I don't see how you could expect otherwise. In the end, there were only 4 dogs (including Byron) and they had a blast playing and swimming together. During the wedding and reception we set up a big play area in the boat house so they could play amongst themselves.

2. Having a dinner-party-type reception with no dancing. D and I hate to dance in public and our wedding was tiny (~35 people), so we just decided to focus on the food and enjoying everybody's company. I was a little worried that some people might be bored, but it ended up being a lot of fun all of our guests got to catch up. Also, we had an ipod station set up to play background music and my teeny-bopper nieces challenged my cousin (in his 30's, but my nieces all had a crush on him) to a dance off. It was absolutely hilarious and I was glad to see that the people who wanted to dance (the kids) still got a chance.

I definitely think it's important to stick up for those things you really want. EVERYBODY is going to have an opinion, no matter what kind of wedding you have, so you may as well just focus on what makes you and your future husband the most happy.
 

ladypirate

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Fun topic, Gypsy!

We didn't hire a DJ for our reception and we got some flak for it, but it meant that we got to pick the music we wanted to play and at the reception EVERYONE got up and danced, even the people that swore they wouldn't. We had such a blast and we got to rock out to the music that we wanted to listen to. It was probably the best decision we made in that arena. We went somewhat nontraditional in other areas but that was definitely the choice that others questioned. I'm so glad we didn't spend the money for anything else!
 

Gypsy

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I love everyone's stories.

MrsJ... your two receptions sound like a brilliant idea. Seriously a great solution to a tough problem!

NEL... LOL @ the dogs. I hate the word "tacky".... I totally get it. It's a family event and the dogs are family.

LadyP... You know, I kinda wish we'd done that. Our DJ wasn't all that, at all. After our first dance people were telling him what to play every song anyway. Great decision.
 

ladypirate

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BTW, Gypsy--meant to say before that I loved your wedding pictures and I think that you made the right decision with hair/makeup. It's so important to feel beautiful when there are a million pictures being taken of you!
 

HollyS

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No one had the opportunity to tell me I was crazy, because DH and I didn't include anyone in the process of decision making for our wedding. My mother had passed away, so there weren't any "Mother knows best" issues to resolve; and we did not divulge any details to friends and family.

I stressed about nothing, left the details to the inn after I chose colors and fabrics, food and cake, and centerpiece florals. All we really had to do was show up. And it was great!
 

missy

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My family thought I was crazy to marry my dh at the courthouse at boro hall by a judge 3 months before our *big* wedding and reception. In fact, my mom, dad and sister were not happy as we sort of eloped and then told them. To this day they refuse to acknowledge the date of our *first* wedding. While it was difficult to deal with at the time I know for certain I made the right decision (though I should have included my immediate family but logistics made that impossible as it was a spontaneous decision) for us and I don't regret doing it.
 

Haven

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This is a great thread! NEL, I wish we had a different wedding and invited everyone's dogs! I can't imagine a better addition to a wedding day.

The few people who were privy to the details thought I was crazy when:
- I ordered engraved invitations from Crane's. Too bad. I loved them then, and I love seeing that engraving plate framed next to our invite now. I always wanted a reason to send out engraved invitations, and if getting married isn't good enough, I don't know what is.
- I had extensions put in my hair for the day of the wedding. I already have a lot of hair, and it was long, but those extensions gave me an extra shot of glamour, and I felt so beautiful, they were totally worth it. (AND, my hair only cost $150 TOTAL, including the styling, so seriously it wasn't even a big expense!)
- I wore green shoes. The old timers really took issue with this when they saw them, but I did not care one bit.
- We had a daytime wedding on the 4th of July at our family's synagogue. My friends thought it wouldn't be as fun as an evening wedding, and yadda yadda yadda, but it was perfectly us. We are sunny people, we like daylight, and we celebrated in a special space that had 20 foot windows that let all the light in.
 

ame

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Being a wedding vendor, I obviously know a lot of other fantastic vendors to hire. My mom was fighting me on EVERYTHING, especially flowers and photography. I met with one photographer and one florist and hired both on the spot. My mom could NOT understand it. But I knew them or of them, knew their work, and knew the way they worked with their clients. And it was perfect. My wedding photographer was relatively new to full time weddings--he'd shot on the site prior. He was reasonably priced, despite her saying he was way more than any photographer should be (I believe my response was "it's not 1975 mom!") and he was AWESOME.
 

Amys Bling

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NEL- I love that you invited all the family dogs!!!
 

Amys Bling

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Haven- I love the colored shoes for the bride!!! So fun :)
 

Laila619

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I'm so glad I hired someone to do my hair at my hotel suite. I would have been a nervous wreck trying to do my own and putting my veil in!
 

wannaBMrsH

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Great thread!

Mine was having a destination wedding. That is the single best decision we made in the planning of our wedding. As stressful as some things were that day...we were together in PARADISE, getting MARRIED, with our closest friends and family!

So many people criticized that decision, but we didn't have any "surprise" guests. No regrets!
 

Gypsy

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Destination weddings and green shoes! Love it.

It's such a fine line between: It's your day do what you want and "are you out of your mind!" :tongue:

Thank you Lady P... I love looking back at the pics myself... that's how I know I made the right decision. ((HUGS))
 

sillyberry

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I've been feeling a bit down looking back on a lot of wedding stuff lately, as I have a bad habit of focusing on the negative, but I was at a wedding last night that made me incredibly happy that we:

-did first look pictures
-had the ceremony and reception at the same place with no break in-between
and most importantly...
-did stations and not a sit-down dinner!

My mom pitched a fit when she heard we were doing a burger station ("why not just have the reception at a Burger King!"), but the food was delicious and really fun and no one had to sit at a table through dinner with people they didn't really want to talk to! We had a burger station, crab cake station, cobb salads in martini glasses, gyros and Greek spreads and dips, a big crudites selection, three kinds of gazpacho in shot glasses, and a potato bar in big goblets. Everyone last night who went to both weddings actually told us how we had the best wedding food ever...including the bride!

So I'm glad we did that. It was very us and turned out wonderfully.
 

jstarfireb

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sillyberry|1314556420|3003684 said:
-did first look pictures
-had the ceremony and reception at the same place with no break in-between
and most importantly...
-did stations and not a sit-down dinner!

I feel exactly the same way about doing all of these. I'd also add doing my own makeup (it saved me a lot of cash and looked just as good since I was going for a natural look) and changing into Crocs for the reception (nobody saw them and they were super-comfy).

ETA: Also, having a mid-day wedding on a Sunday helped to save money with vendors while still allowing people to leave in time to get back to work on Monday.
 

Echidna

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1. I had my brother stand up on my side of the bridal party. I have two siblings and they were my best people :bigsmile:

I'm not sure why everyone had such a strong objection to this, but I suspect it was just so "non-traditional" it took people a while to wrap their brains around it. Even the groom was surprised to start with. I had a few people tell me it that it would "be okay"- uh, thanks, but I wasn't looking for validation or approval :rolleyes:

Anyway, it was awesome- we all went to the hairdresser in the morning just us, then all got ready together at my place. My brother wore the same suit as the groomsmen so there was continuity and he simply escorted my sister down the aisle before my parents walked me down. This also saved me a bit of money because I was the only one with a bouquet: sis was arm-in-arm with my bro so she didn't need to carry anything. I got her the same lapel tulip all the boys wore and it looked great!

2. My DH (then FI) and I stayed together in our home until the morning of the wedding. We did get a bit of resistance on this but I am a super stress-pot and I wanted him with me as long as possible for my mental health. It was beautifully romantic to wake up together, snuggle in bed and have a quick chat on the morning of our marriage. So glad we did that!

3. I wore hot pink shoes. People were skeptical but I loved them and I was wearing them! Interestingly, all the guys at the wedding noticed and it's the first thing they asked to see when I was saying hello to all the guests :lol:

4. I did a "Trash the Dress" shoot. We didn't trash the dress (hate that name) but we took it with us to our honeymoon destination and got our photographers to take some shots of us in the ocean. It ended up wet and sandy but it's polyester so it's pretty much indestructible. The photos of us are worth EVERY cent and then some.

My mum was especially upset at this (she gifted me the dress) but even she said it was worth it for the shots we got. I have a very strong suspicion that others who have seen these photos think it was a ridiculous extravagance (more photography time, more money for hair and make-up) but it's my money and I'll spend it how I like :lol:

That's all I can think of off the top of my head...
 

Echidna

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sillyberry|1314556420|3003684 said:
I've been feeling a bit down looking back on a lot of wedding stuff lately, as I have a bad habit of focusing on the negative, but I was at a wedding last night that made me incredibly happy that we:

-did first look pictures
-had the ceremony and reception at the same place with no break in-between
and most importantly...
-did stations and not a sit-down dinner!

My mom pitched a fit when she heard we were doing a burger station ("why not just have the reception at a Burger King!"), but the food was delicious and really fun and no one had to sit at a table through dinner with people they didn't really want to talk to! We had a burger station, crab cake station, cobb salads in martini glasses, gyros and Greek spreads and dips, a big crudites selection, three kinds of gazpacho in shot glasses, and a potato bar in big goblets. Everyone last night who went to both weddings actually told us how we had the best wedding food ever...including the bride!

So I'm glad we did that. It was very us and turned out wonderfully.

Sillyberry, your wedding didn't appear to have any negatives from where I'm sitting! It looked like a perfect day to me and you both looked so in love :love: :love: You and your husband are quite the glamorous, attractive couple!

PS. I love the photo of your reflections in the bean.
 

Echidna

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Okay, I'm seriously procrastinating from writing a journal article, so here is one more:

5. I didn't wear a veil. I think my SIL was most shocked at this and mentioned it on the day. Lady, I told you I wasn't wearing one, then I didn't wear one. What is so confusing?! Do brides "have" to wear a veil to be brides? I was still the woman in the white dress.

To be fair, this is the woman who insisted on getting married seven weeks before us (better than the week before as she originally wanted) and mentioned that we were having a HUGE wedding (88 guests) every time I talked to her for the 15 months of our engagement. I may have taken her veil comments too seriously... :lol:
 

vc10um

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Oh man...the list of things my mother thought were crazy at the outset would be a mile long...but I wouldn't have changed a thing about our wedding! Here's my top 3, though...

1) Getting married on a Sunday. We got married on the 3rd anniversary of our first date and the first anniversary of our engagement, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Most everyone was local, and those who weren't just flew in Saturday and out Monday.

2) Having the reception at a barbeque restaurant. The first two together prompted my mother to a) ask me if I was having a "real wedding," b) as me if I was going to wear a "real dress," and 3) unbeknownst to me until AFTER the wedding, refer to my reception as "the picnic" until the day of the wedding, when the sophistication of my reception put her in her place.

3) Having a second set of engagement pictures AND a second set of wedding pictures done. We got married in Kansas City, Missouri, which holds ABSOLUTELY NO significance to me whatsoever. And while we had, I'm convinced, the most amazing photographer EVER, there was still a hole in my heart where pictures from DC or my "hometown" of Ann Arbor, Michigan, should have been. So, I used a Groupon deal to get us an extra set of AMAZING engagement pictures during peak bloom of the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC, and this October, DH and I will be prancing around Ann Arbor in our wedding duds getting portraits at all of my favorite places on campus. And I am SO looking forward to it.
 

jstarfireb

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Messages
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Echidna|1314679006|3005170 said:
1. I had my brother stand up on my side of the bridal party. I have two siblings and they were my best people :bigsmile:

I'm not sure why everyone had such a strong objection to this, but I suspect it was just so "non-traditional" it took people a while to wrap their brains around it. Even the groom was surprised to start with. I had a few people tell me it that it would "be okay"- uh, thanks, but I wasn't looking for validation or approval :rolleyes:

Echidna, my friend did something similar. She had 5 bridesmaids (all female, including me :cheeky:), but her husband had two female groom's attendants and three male groomsmen. They wore the same dress as the bridesmaids except in black instead of purple, and they didn't look odd or out-of-place at all. They stood on the groom's side, and the DJ at the reception had us all walk in separately. It worked nicely!
 

Gypsy

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Echidna|1314682069|3005186 said:
Okay, I'm seriously procrastinating from writing a journal article, so here is one more:

5. I didn't wear a veil. I think my SIL was most shocked at this and mentioned it on the day. Lady, I told you I wasn't wearing one, then I didn't wear one. What is so confusing?! Do brides "have" to wear a veil to be brides? I was still the woman in the white dress.

To be fair, this is the woman who insisted on getting married seven weeks before us (better than the week before as she originally wanted) and mentioned that we were having a HUGE wedding (88 guests) every time I talked to her for the 15 months of our engagement. I may have taken her veil comments too seriously... :lol:

This made me seriously laugh out loud.

I love reading your stories. This is a feel good thread.
 

Echidna

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Joined
Oct 26, 2009
Messages
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jstarfireb|1314999806|3008615 said:
Echidna|1314679006|3005170 said:
1. I had my brother stand up on my side of the bridal party. I have two siblings and they were my best people :bigsmile:

I'm not sure why everyone had such a strong objection to this, but I suspect it was just so "non-traditional" it took people a while to wrap their brains around it. Even the groom was surprised to start with. I had a few people tell me it that it would "be okay"- uh, thanks, but I wasn't looking for validation or approval :rolleyes:

Echidna, my friend did something similar. She had 5 bridesmaids (all female, including me :cheeky:), but her husband had two female groom's attendants and three male groomsmen. They wore the same dress as the bridesmaids except in black instead of purple, and they didn't look odd or out-of-place at all. They stood on the groom's side, and the DJ at the reception had us all walk in separately. It worked nicely!

Great example, jstar! I'm sure it looked awesome and only added to their day. Important people are important people, regardless of gender :appl:
 

Echidna

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Gypsy|1315020582|3008825 said:
Echidna|1314682069|3005186 said:
Okay, I'm seriously procrastinating from writing a journal article, so here is one more:

5. I didn't wear a veil. I think my SIL was most shocked at this and mentioned it on the day. Lady, I told you I wasn't wearing one, then I didn't wear one. What is so confusing?! Do brides "have" to wear a veil to be brides? I was still the woman in the white dress.

To be fair, this is the woman who insisted on getting married seven weeks before us (better than the week before as she originally wanted) and mentioned that we were having a HUGE wedding (88 guests) every time I talked to her for the 15 months of our engagement. I may have taken her veil comments too seriously... :lol:

This made me seriously laugh out loud.

I love reading your stories. This is a feel good thread.

I'm glad it gave you a laugh :lol: Great thread idea!
 

mayerling

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In my culture, it's traditional for the bride's family to gather at the family house while she gets ready and start the festivities early - nibbles, music, photos and video, etc. When I told my family about a year before the wedding that I was not doing that they had a fit. And they kept trying to change my mind all the way to the end. I stuck to my guns and I was right. I got ready in the peace and quiet of the company of my parents, MOH, flower girls, and a couple of other very close friends and family (about 10 people in total vs. 30-40 people) and it was so worth it!
 

4ever

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I collected over 100 vintage (1950's) NZ classic preserving jars to decorate our reception tables. I bought them in mostly small lots off online auctions and DH and I ended up driving all over the place to collect them. It was hard work. And they are not cheap.
My mum thought it was crazy, especially since we had to stick a candle into each of the jars, individually wrap and then pack them into 4 massive and heavy boxes to transport to Waiheke island for the wedding...and then wrap them all up and transport them home again.

However, on the night everyone, even my mum, commented on how wonderful the reception looked and how the jars really made it magical. And the photos of the reception look amazing as well, especially when compared to photos of other peoples receptions in the same venue.
 

GliderPoss

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Love this thread!

Think the two things for me were:

1. A daytime wedding. Married at 11am with reception at 1pm. We were young and wanted it to be very low key. We had about 50 guests so it seemed to suit. I HATE the whole dance floor thing, staying until midnight, everyone getting tired/bored etc. We finished at 6pm and retreated to our hotel. Everyone who WANTED to partied on at the local pub. Older family members could simply return home.

2. I didn't wear a veil. Lots of people were suprised but at the time I thought them rather old fashioned! Now I kinda wish I had... :oops:
 

StacylikesSparkles

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They thought I was crazy about a lot of things lol

1. I did not want a dance floor and instead wanted a dance area where we could put up poles and string lights and tissue paper poms. If we would have opted for the dance floor, it would have had to go under a tent and I wanted to be dancing under the stars, enjoying the night. DH's mom thought this was a terrible idea (what will people think?! NO ONE will want to dance outside and they surely won't want to dance barefoot), but EVERYONE loved it, it saved a ton of money AND the grandparents were out there boogieing down like the rest of us.
2. I wanted to have our Mom's and my Aunt cater the wedding. Not only was it more cost effective, but I knew we'd like the food. And let me tell you, it was delicious! We had a TON of food and it was a lot of work (I took off the three days before the wedding and helped), but so worth it in the end.
3. I wanted a wedding under $10k...for 200 people. And we did it! I skimped on things that didn't matter to me and splurged on things that did. It was an AMAZING day, filled with personal touches and I don't regret any of the choices we made about our day.

Bottom line, stick to your guns about things you want and don't want (the issue I had the most drama with was the dance floor) and the day will be your vision and not anyone else's. :D
 

rosetta

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I loved everything about my wedding(s) but especially:

I took a long bubble bath in my room in a huge tub, sipping a drink and watching my guests come arrive in the gardens below

I had a huge firworks display which everyone thought wouldn't be great (but loved afterwards!)

I had a jazz band play throughout dinner and dancing was spontaneous

I agreed for my wedding to be featured in a magazine: now I have something cute to show my grandchildren! :appl:

I had 3 weddings in 2 different countries and NOBODY missed out. I only have people who still rave about my wedding, and no hurt feelings. Which feels awesome. :sun:
 
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