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The suspense is not as fun as I thought it would be...

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littlemissbliss

Shiny_Rock
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I don''t post often, but I have been lurking EVERYDAY for quite some time.

My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years, and have been looking at rings for about a year. He told me to find what I like and let him know, which I thought was great, as I don''t think he would pick out something that is my style (he is an architect, so he tends to like very clean, straight lines and I like everything to be soft and fluid).

Anyway, I have gone back and forth on what I want (it seems I want one of everything on PS). I finally sent him a few different options, thinking that he could decide what he liked best for me and then it would still be surprise.

This is where the problem comes in.....I didn''t know when he was going to buy the ring, but I think he already did. I thought I would be able to sit back and wait for the ring to see which one he chose BUT THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!! I am dying to look at his bank account (which is not out of the ordinary for us, since I handle his bookkeeping) because I could tell which one he chose by how much he paid.

I know, I am a brat for even considering ruining the surprise, but I don''t know how I can wait! I never thought I would be so obsessed. How did you LIW''s that knew it was coming handle the suspense?
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
Hmm... I would probably deal by failing miserably and looking. Though it would probably satisfy me to know that he bought and not what exactly...

Other methods of coping would be posting a thread on LIW... which I see you''ve done...

Basically I don''t think I can be of any help, but I sympathesize, send *hugs* your ways, and *dust* that he just gets on with it and proposes soon!
 

letthesunshine

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Messages
29
Do we have the same BF? It sure sounds like it but yours is one step ahead of mine (ok, maybe a couple steps) if he already purchased the ring. I did this thing where I showed him 8 engagement rings and told him to pick one that he would get for me, kind of a fun test to see if he would know what to pick before i told him what i liked, and he picked the ugliest one!!!!!!!! i have to give him the benefit of the doubt though because i am definitely not a jewelry wearer, but i can and hope to enjoy a nice diamond ring that symbolizes our love.

Oh BTW I don''t think you should peak at his bank account or even look for it, it will make it all that much more exciting when it finally does happen
 

NakedFinger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
690
Date: 3/23/2009 10:04:39 PM
Author:littlemissbliss

I know, I am a brat for even considering ruining the surprise, but I don''t know how I can wait! I never thought I would be so obsessed. How did you LIW''s that knew it was coming handle the suspense?
Littlemiss-

I am "similar" situation in the sense that I know the ring is purchased as well. The difference is I picked the diamond, and designed the setting with him. However, my promise was to not see the finished product, so that I would be seeing "the ring" for the first time when he proposes.

Now...even though this was my brilliant idea....its KIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG me. I am very surprised by my willpower thus far, but hey, its only been 2 days! lol. But I know not seeing it before hand will make it that much more of a surprise when he proposes, and I keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end.

So, I know its tough! But try to hold out from looking, the surprise and proposal will be so much better in the end!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I knew my nowDH had the ring. I knew it. So I went into the hall closet and grabbed the pockets of his winter coat. (We live in a warm climate and a heavy coat is not needed.) I didn''t feel anything... after that I was glad, because I really didn''t want to know. In my heart, I knew he had the ring... but I didn''t want to ruin the surprise.

So at Christmas time... do you peel away the edges of your presents to take a peek? If so... look away... me I cannot do that. I did it once as a kid... and was sooo excited... and my parents found out, and gave Tetris to my brother... who wouldn''t let me play it because I was such a brat. Totally ruined the surprise, and because of that HUGE LET DOWN... I am a forever NO PEEKER!!!

I am glad I stopped looking, the next weekend, he proposed... and the ring... was in with his winter sweaters... so I was on the right track.
 

littlemissbliss

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
154
You girls are awesome!

Okay, so I made it through the night without looking at his bank account to see which one he bought. But it was not easy! I was up more than once with my laptop, but decided against it. Maybe I have more self-control than I thought.

Yesterday morning, I was getting my hair done and he sent me a text that said "i need your ring size asap." WHAT??!!! I told him the ring size 364 times and he has to ask me with such urgency? This just makes the suspense worse! Then on Sunday evening, I showed him Coati''s James Meyer ring which we both LOVED, but then he said "well you can''t have it, its too late now." I think without these little comments I could have just let it go and waited patiently. Actually, that probably isn''t true. I just need to find something else to occupy my time.

We leave for Vegas tomorrow -- any recommendations on fabulous restaurants? I can tweak out on the for a while to distract myself from his bank account :)
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
Messages
10,541
Date: 3/23/2009 10:04:39 PM
Author:littlemissbliss


I don''t post often, but I have been lurking EVERYDAY for quite some time.


My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years, and have been looking at rings for about a year. He told me to find what I like and let him know, which I thought was great, as I don''t think he would pick out something that is my style (he is an architect, so he tends to like very clean, straight lines and I like everything to be soft and fluid).


Anyway, I have gone back and forth on what I want (it seems I want one of everything on PS). I finally sent him a few different options, thinking that he could decide what he liked best for me and then it would still be surprise.


This is where the problem comes in.....I didn''t know when he was going to buy the ring, but I think he already did. I thought I would be able to sit back and wait for the ring to see which one he chose BUT THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!! I am dying to look at his bank account (which is not out of the ordinary for us, since I handle his bookkeeping) because I could tell which one he chose by how much he paid.


I know, I am a brat for even considering ruining the surprise, but I don''t know how I can wait! I never thought I would be so obsessed. How did you LIW''s that knew it was coming handle the suspense?

LOL, you sound like ME! Seriously, I had an idea of what I was getting for my birthday from FI and based on something I knew he bought on ebay previously, I figured out his buyer "code" and figured out what I was getting for my birthday. I too hate suspense. Guys don''t realize that there''s a difference between a surprise and suspense. If you want to surprise us, don''t tell us ANYTHING! If we know, we''ll ruin it because of the suspense issue.
 

adak

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 23, 2009
Messages
56
Date: 3/24/2009 10:51:06 AM
Author: littlemissbliss

We leave for Vegas tomorrow -- any recommendations on fabulous restaurants? I can tweak out on the for a while to distract myself from his bank account :)
My boyfriend and I are going to Vegas in July and someone recommended the Eiffel Tower Restaurant to us. Not sure if we'll go or not, though. Enjoy your trip! My ring is supposed to be delivered today, but I have no clue as to when I'll actually receive it, so I can definitely sympathize with what you're going through.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
Date: 3/24/2009 10:51:06 AM
Author: littlemissbliss

You girls are awesome!

Okay, so I made it through the night without looking at his bank account to see which one he bought. But it was not easy! I was up more than once with my laptop, but decided against it. Maybe I have more self-control than I thought.

Yesterday morning, I was getting my hair done and he sent me a text that said ''i need your ring size asap.'' WHAT??!!! I told him the ring size 364 times and he has to ask me with such urgency? This just makes the suspense worse! Then on Sunday evening, I showed him Coati''s James Meyer ring which we both LOVED, but then he said ''well you can''t have it, its too late now.'' I think without these little comments I could have just let it go and waited patiently. Actually, that probably isn''t true. I just need to find something else to occupy my time.

We leave for Vegas tomorrow -- any recommendations on fabulous restaurants? I can tweak out on the for a while to distract myself from his bank account :)
actually there is a thread about this on the hangout session I think....yes, link

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/vegas-restaurant-recommendations.110104/
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
anything else you like? I like the daily giggle thread.. also on hangout... or maybe being on the computer is the temptation....
hmm... get away from the device!
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
Messages
10,541
I''m a hypocrite because I hacked my FI''s ebay account the other day to see what he got me for my birthday, but don''t look!!!
 

purrfectpear

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
4,079
Ummm ladies, does it occur to you that your FFI''s don''t go to elaborate lengths to hide rings and purchase receipts because it doesn''t even cross their mind that the woman they love could possibly be that shallow?

Trust and integrity are the foundation of a relationship. I''m pretty sure you ladies can do a better job, right
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Date: 3/25/2009 3:47:00 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Ummm ladies, does it occur to you that your FFI''s don''t go to elaborate lengths to hide rings and purchase receipts because it doesn''t even cross their mind that the woman they love could possibly be thatshallow?

Trust and integrity are the foundation of a relationship. I''m pretty sure you ladies can do a better job, right
Shallow is a pretty harsh word. Although I''m a big advocate of NOT snooping, I wouldn''t say you''re shallow if you did take a peek. Maybe just overly curious or nosey...even lacking a little willpower.

To answer the question, how did I deal with the suspense? I asked a lot of questions! Like, everyday. Thank goodness my FI is patient and loving enough to deal with crazy little me.
 

purrfectpear

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
4,079
Seriously, you don''t think it''s a major breach of trust? That''s shallow to me. It''s the epitome of shallow.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Ok pp, you''re the last person I want to get into an argument with, and I''m not even arguing...I just disagree with the use of the word shallow. I looked up the definition because I don''t think we consider ''shallow'' to be the same thing.

From Merriam-Webster:

1: having little depth i] water>
2: having little extension inward or backward i] slabs — lewis mumford>
3 a: penetrating only the easily or quickly perceived i] generalizations>
b: lacking in depth of knowledge, thought, or feeling i] demagogue>4: displacing comparatively little air : weak i] breathing>

To me, ''shallow'' is used to describe a person who is vain or superficial, or the shallow end of a pool, but it does not equate to someone being disloyal, dishonest or untrustworthy. Not that the latter is any better, I just think that ''shallow'' in this case is taking a low blow, at a completely wrong angle, to any person who has ever taken a peek at their Christmas present, checked their SO''s email, read a letter not addressed to them, told a lie, etc.

FWIW, I do think I''m shallow to a point, but not because I''ve done any of those things listed above, but because I want a nice set of feminine 6-pack abs.
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
Messages
10,541
Dude, that''s a little harsh.
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
10,541
Date: 3/25/2009 4:48:02 PM
Author: sammyj
Ok pp, you''re the last person I want to get into an argument with, and I''m not even arguing...I just disagree with the use of the word shallow. I looked up the definition because I don''t think we consider ''shallow'' to be the same thing.


From Merriam-Webster:


1: having little depth <shallow water>

2: having little extension inward or backward <office buildings have taken the form of shallow slabs — Lewis Mumford>

3 a: penetrating only the easily or quickly perceived <shallow generalizations>

b: lacking in depth of knowledge, thought, or feeling <a shallow demagogue>4: displacing comparatively little air : weak <shallow breathing>


To me, ''shallow'' is used to describe a person who is vain or superficial, or the shallow end of a pool, but it does not equate to someone being disloyal, dishonest or untrustworthy. Not that the latter is any better, I just think that ''shallow'' in this case is taking a low blow, at a completely wrong angle, to any person who has ever taken a peek at their Christmas present, checked their SO''s email, read a letter not addressed to them, told a lie, etc.


FWIW, I do think I''m shallow to a point, but not because I''ve done any of those things listed above, but because I want a nice set of feminine 6-pack abs.
And I''m just a snoop about presents. FI knows this and accepts it about me. It''s part of the package, and he knows better than to tell me anything about gifts he''s bought me.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
The OP just wants to know WHICH ring he picked out. If they looked at a 15K veragio ring and a 25k tiffany ring... she''d know if she saw the charge for 16k which ring she got. She is not being shallow... just IN MISERY WAITING. Part of the LIWitis sucks is that ANXIETY of the WAIT. It is normal... my vote is not to look. Her urge to look isn''t because she''ll be upset that the ring wasn''t the 25k tiff ring- it is because she is on the edge of her seat in waiting!

I don''t know why but the turn of the argument reminds me of the family guy episode where peter keeps saying shallow and pedantic... as he believes he is a genious... but turns out to have a very very low IQ.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Date: 3/25/2009 5:33:03 PM
Author: tlh

I don''t know why but the turn of the argument reminds me of the family guy episode where peter keeps saying shallow and pedantic... as he believes he is a genious... but turns out to have a very very low IQ.


I''m usually not one to threadjack, but I''m sorry that I did.

littlemissbliss, you''re not shallow, you''re just anxious, excited and curious...and you have every right to be! Don''t look/snoop, just embrace the fact that you''ll be pleasantly surprised!
 

Lanie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2008
Messages
1,793
Littlemissbliss...I can identify with you! First of all, my FI is an architect too!

Now to your troubles...I knew that my FI was about to purchase a ring. Looking back, I was DYING to know if he had bought it, and I would try to trick him into giving me hints. I would say to him that I changed my mind about the ring, just to see if he would be like "WHAT?!?" or like "OK". He was even keeled the whole time.

Just try to enjoy this time waiting. I know that''s easy for anyone to say, but don''t check his bank account. If he found out, he would be hurt. Remember that the proposal is his day and time too. He''s making sure all the ducks are in a row before he proposes. Try to focus on the fact that he knows when the time is, and he''s planning it carefully so that it''s a perfect moment for you. Besides, if you found out he bought the ring, he could keep it for awhile, waiting for the perfect moment to propose. My fiance had my ring for 2 months AT OUR APARTMENT and I had no idea. If I would have known that he had purchased it, I would have ripped out my hair waiting for the day to come!!!!

Good luck and be patient!!!
 

littlemissbliss

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
154
Just back from Vegas! Big fun in that city :)

I didn''t look at the bank account and I haven''t even had the urge to look at it now since vacation is over and I am busy with cakes and school (and of course, PS). Although, my urge might resurface at any time
We saw a ton of door knob diamonds in Vegas. And he keeps dropping hints about the ring just to watch me squirm.

Purrfectpear: no reason to be so serious!! It was a light-hearted thread and we were having a little fun!
My boyfriend knows me very very very well, therefore he is accutely aware that I might peek. He knows I like to plan everything and to know how it is all going to turn out, that is just part of my personality (and he would say, part of my charm). Not knowing if he picked a solitaire or a three stone is unbelievably hard for me because it is a SURPRISE and I am not good at those. He knows I am quite possibly the most impatient person alive and he loves that about me and definitely does not think it is shallow. Let''s call it EXCITED!!





Now, bring on the diamonds
 

Jessie702

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
2,308
OKAY...OMG at least your SO teases you. Mine, say, "hey, look at that ring, whats your opinion on it?" or my current favorite line of his" i cant wait to see you in a wedding gown, what do you think youll pick?......dont peek, it will so take the joy out of what he got you. Think of how much youll stare at it if you have no idea what he got!
 
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