the right direction

[mariewest]

In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.

Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

The best advice I can give is just let the little things pass. No need to get worked up over silly little things. That, and don''t let the dishes sit in the sink too long lol

 

[tlh]

Date: 2/18/2009 5:51:46 PM
Author:mariewest
In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.

Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

1) Think carefully when chosing your side of the bed. It seems to last forever.
2) Think carefully before you start doing certain chores... they will become yours forever... and vice versa.
3) Enjoy all the mid week nookie... but try not to make it a routine... then it gets boring!

and most importantly HAVE FUN! CONGRATS!

oh and have a good time in Disney!

 

[BeachRunner]

Boys are dirty and smelly!

You can''t think of him as a room mate, but as a partner. In college, I washed only MY dishes, and washed only MY clothes. I think living with a SO is different. Make an effort to share household chores. Compromise is a key word when it comes to living together.

Good Luck! Living with a SO can be challenging, but it''s a lot of fun!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I hope you have a wonderful time together!

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

Date: 2/18/2009 5:51:46 PM
Author:mariewest
In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.

Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

Congrats on SO being done with undergrad!

I woud definitely say that the first year was the hardest. (I guess like they say about marriage. ha). We had some trying times getting used to living with each other in such a small space (600sq ft). I agree with TLH about choosing your chores. Somehow I got stuck with the bathroom.

Looking back now I like that it was a bit difficult adjusting. It gave something for our relationship to really grow on and we really got to know everything about each other, even after dating 2 years prior to moving in together.

Just try to go with the flow with things and not get too worked up about having things only your way. It takes a lot of compromise. Best of luck.

 

[HappyCat]

Hi Marie,

Congrats on ending the LDR and moving in together! FF and I were long distance for 4 years before moving in together. It''s wonderful to be together all the time, but it does take some adjustment! And that''s completely normal! You''re both making a big change, and it isn''t always a smooth transition. Just talk things through, take things one at a time, and be grateful for the opportunity to be together! Congrats again!

~HappyCat

 

[sammyj]

Date: 2/18/2009 5:51:46 PM
Author:mariewest
In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.

Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

Hmmm...advice. I also agree about choosing chores and your side of the bed, and being able to compromise. I am much more lenient and tolerant of my BF than I was with any of my previous roommates!!

Personally, I have a lot of pet peeves that involve crumbs on the counter, dirty wet sponges left in the sink, hair on the floor (although it''s always mine), etc. so I made sure to lay these out on the table for my BF right away. He knew that they were MAJOR pet peeves of mine and he has made every effort to not drive me up the wall! The same goes for him in that he has pet peeves that I try my best to avoid (I can''t even think of any right now...probably because I''ve totally changed my ways!). Finally, my advice is to: roll with the punches, COMMUNICATE, make sure you get plenty of ''me'' time, and truly enjoy waking up to a handsome face every morning!

Have a wonderful vacation!!

 

[audball]

Hmmmm, advice. TLH really nailed my points on the head. Your side of the bed will always be what you choose, choose wisely...mine''s the left

The chores point is a really good one. Don''t let him slide on helping out in these early stages. It''s easy to just pick up after him and take care of things, especially because you''re just so happy to be living with him, but if he gets used to it, he won''t understand when a year or more down the road why you''re mad because he left his socks on the floor instead of in the basket...

Really sit down and discuss who is going to do what around the house and lay out the boundaries for who does what chores so that it''s just a given and not ever misinterpreted. This includes grocery shopping and errands as much as things around the house.

Finances is another big thing to discuss. BF and I have separate checking accounts and each pay half of the bills because we have relatively the same income (students). This can be frustrating at times because he (lately) has been making a lot more money than me (has his own web design company on top of becoming full-time at work, so 20 hours more than me plus side work) and instead of SAVING money, he spends spends spends. Now his bills are always covered, but if it were me making that kind of money, I''d be putting it away for the future. He works hard, so he deserves to play hard. I just wish sometimes he''d save some money and think of ''our'' future instead of ''his'' present. Just make sure savings and things (for future houses, etc.) are kind of included in the budget so that you can start saving more jointly for the future maybe?

Either way, best of luck. This is definitely an adjustment period, but despite the ups and downs, it''s really IS wonderful waking up to the one person you love more than anything in this world every morning.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 2/18/2009 6:02:30 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 2/18/2009 5:51:46 PM
Author:mariewest
In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.

Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

1) Think carefully when chosing your side of the bed. It seems to last forever.
2) Think carefully before you start doing certain chores... they will become yours forever... and vice versa.
3) Enjoy all the mid week nookie... but try not to make it a routine... then it gets boring!

and most importantly HAVE FUN! CONGRATS!

oh and have a good time in Disney!

DITTO!!
and what smurfy says - dont let the dishes sit to long. fruit flies are hard to get rid of!!

also, agree on who does what. or agree that you do both. either way, make sure to know where the expecations lay.

congrats, and good luck!!!!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Date: 2/18/2009 6:02:30 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 2/18/2009 5:51:46 PM

Author:mariewest

In 8 days my SO will be done with his undergrad and this means that (hopefully) we''ll be moving in together and ending this long distance that we have been dealing with for the past nine months. I''m super excited to be moving our relationship forward by getting an apartment together. I''m also excited that in 12 days we''ll be off to Disney World

. No proposal expected, but I''ll definitely be asking for some proposal dust when it gets closer.


Anyways. I just wanted to ask those of you that live with your SO''s, what is the best advice you can give? Thanks!

1) Think carefully when chosing your side of the bed. It seems to last forever.

2) Think carefully before you start doing certain chores... they will become yours forever... and vice versa.

3) Enjoy all the mid week nookie... but try not to make it a routine... then it gets boring!


and most importantly HAVE FUN! CONGRATS!

oh and have a good time in Disney!

Hahahaha TLH! You crack me up

SO true about the side of the bed though- every so often BF wants to sleep on my side, and I DO NOT like it

 

[misskitty]

Yay! I''m so excited for you, and wish you all the best.

My advice: have fun and keep a sense of humor, and of course, COMMUNICATE! He won''t know that it bothers you that he splashes water all over the bathroom sink and doesn''t wipe it up (or whatever little nagging thing) unless you tell him -- in a nice way, of course.

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

wow I am really surprised by how many people think choosing the side of the bed to sleep on. Never crossed my mind. We use the terms "my side" and "his side" really loosely. It depends upon the way the bed is positioned and pretty much where I want to sleep. He doesn''t have a preference. So if either of us want to switch sides we usually just do. I rearrange the room a lot so that may be another reason why we don''t care because it ''changes'' often.

He does tend to sleep on the side of the bed that is against the wall though. I think that is mainly because I used to take up the whole bed and pretty much push him out. Now he just gets shoved against the wall.

 

[mariewest]

It''s funny that you all mention side of the bed. We were local for over a year and I always had my side (near the wall) and he had his side when we would spend the night at each others place, and even now.

What I like is that he is clean and is usually the one that does dishes at his apartment, and I''m good about cleaning, so like you girls stated, as long as we communicate well about tasks then we should be set.

We haven''t worked out exactly how our finances are going to work, but plan on keeping things separate.

I appreciate all your input, I do find it very helpful!

 

[princesss]

BF and I only lived together for a few months before he got his own place, but the number one thing I had to remember was it''s his place, too. Yes, you like things done a certain way, and he probably won''t do things the way you want every single time. But he lives there, too, and he''s got a right to do things the way he likes them done. It''s all about finding balance.