The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[mayerling]

Bright, you are in my thoughts. Dust for a sticky bean!

 

[tammy77]

Good Morning!

Bright, this post is for you. I'm praying that you're busy with good things and that you just haven't had time to update us yet. Thinking of you and praying as hard as I can that you tested BFP this morning. On a non TTC note, I thought of you last night when I went to pick up some new shampoo at Ulta. I have pretty fine hair and it's thinner than usual still, so the girl suggested that I try the Paul Mitchell Thickening system. I was skeptical because I frizz and poof out hair wise, but thought I'd give it a shot anyhow. I tried it last night and there's definitely a noticeable difference! So if you haven't tried it, you might want to give it a shot.

Hi to everyone else - Prana, Ltl, Fisher, Curly (sorry about the clomid mixup, Curly! I'll join you in June/July on that train too though if we're not KU yet). Hope you're all doing okay and hanging in there.

AFM nothing new to report really. Trying to spend the TWW doing anything but thinking of testing early. My plan, which I rarely stick to but still set up anyhow, is to test on 4/27. I'll be 13 DPO. By then my temps will have started to sink if I'm not pregnant anyhow. In reality, I'll probably break down at 10DPO even though I shouldn't. Here's hoping this is my month to at least save some money on tests!

ETA: WOOOHOO BRIGHT!!! Off to read your whole post, but YAY!!!!

ETA 2: Alright I will reserve an official congrats word and will just keep praying that this one sticks. I don't know how to get through it, but it's going to be okay. Just take it a day at a time, keep busy know that you can come here anytime that you need a stress ball to squeeze/blow off steam. Maybe keep a journal, if you aren't already? I find that even if it's negative stuff, it's therapeutic for me to write it out. Big hugs!!

 

[Prana]

Bright! Keeping you in my thoughts, hoping that this is it for you!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Tammy and Prana, just wanted to say I'm continuing to keep you both in my thoughts, and I so hope you will each get wonderful news very soon! I just know your time is coming.

 

[BrightSpot]

Mayerling, thanks so much!

Prana, thank you too! I hope you have good news really soon too!

And same for you, Tammy! Thanks for checking on me. That's an interesting idea about journaling. (not on ps!) I am trying to take things one day at a time as much as possible. Please do keep the prayers coming!
Also thanks for the shampoo recommendation. Do you use the whole system?
I'm in sort of an odd place with the hair since I color my hair fairly frequently so it tends to get pretty dry. I usually use very moisturizing products to combat that. Many of the volumizing products seem to focus on a lack of buildup to weigh hair down, which translates to dry hair for me. Also, my hairs are thick & wavy (also prone to frizz), not fine but there are increasingly fewer of them. Does the shampoo give you enough moisture?

Hi to ltl, curly & fisher.  Hoping we can clear out this thread soon. 

Afm, just trying to relax & take my mind off the worries as much as possible. This gorgeous weather we've been having sure helps. 

 

[CurlySue]

BRIGHT!!!! I am soooo happy you tested positive!!!! I am sure you are stressed and worried, but I am cautiously optimistic that this is your sticky bean. I have zero advice for you on staying calm, as I would struggle with that myself, but you are smart to try to keep yourself distracted. Pamper yourself with whatever makes you feel good right now. Sending you positive thoughts and oodles of dust!

 

[choro72]

Bright, wishing so hard for you!!!

 

[tammy77]

Mayerling, thanks so much!

Prana, thank you too! I hope you have good news really soon too!

And same for you, Tammy! Thanks for checking on me. That's an interesting idea about journaling. (not on ps!) I am trying to take things one day at a time as much as possible. Please do keep the prayers coming!
Also thanks for the shampoo recommendation. Do you use the whole system?
I'm in sort of an odd place with the hair since I color my hair fairly frequently so it tends to get pretty dry. I usually use very moisturizing products to combat that. Many of the volumizing products seem to focus on a lack of buildup to weigh hair down, which translates to dry hair for me. Also, my hairs are thick & wavy (also prone to frizz), not fine but there are increasingly fewer of them. Does the shampoo give you enough moisture?

Hi to ltl, curly & fisher.  Hoping we can clear out this thread soon. 

Afm, just trying to relax & take my mind off the worries as much as possible. This gorgeous weather we've been having sure helps. 

Hi Bright,

About the shampoo, I'm just using the shampoo and conditioner. I also picked up some fantastic spray that I'll have to get the name of for you that helps with the frizz. It's unlike anything I've ever used, and I've tried EVERYTHING. I picked up a deep conditioner to use once a week, but haven't used it yet.

I don't know if the shampoo would be good for you if your hair strands are already thick (mine is wavy and frizzes easily too, but seems okay so far even w/blow drying). It's worth a shot if you haven't tried a thickening shampoo/conditioner, but if you already have with poor results I'm guessing this one is probably lacking for you too. Rats!

I also responded on the other TTC thread, thinking of you and anxious for your beta results! Big hugs.

 

[mayerling]

Just checking in for news from Bright...

 

[BrightSpot]

Hey mayerling. Thanks for checking on me. I posted in the other ttc thread but my 12dpo beta was 36.1. I'm at the doc's office now to get a second test done. Hopefully it's rising appropriately. I'll have the results later today. Fingers crossed!

 

[CurlySue]

Bright - I hope those betas are rising like crazy!!!

Tammy - How are you holding up in your TWW? If I recall, you're at 5DPO, right?

Prana - You're in Scotland now, I think. Hope you are having a wonderful getaway!

Ltl - You still out there??

I'm just hanging out at 6DPO. I was finishing up some work in my hotel room late last night and went into crazy must-analyze-my-chart mode. And after an hour of searching the chart gallery and comparing charts, I concluded.... that there is really not much I can learn from all of this "research." Ah, FF why must you have such a hold on me??

But it kept me entertained for awhile and I didn't end up depressed, so... no harm done, I guess.

Thinking of you all!

 

[mayerling]

Hey mayerling. Thanks for checking on me. I posted in the other ttc thread but my 12dpo beta was 36.1. I'm at the doc's office now to get a second test done. Hopefully it's rising appropriately. I'll have the results later today. Fingers crossed!

It just goes to show that I should keep up with all the threads rather than just posting on one
In any case, I'm really happy to hear your results!

 

[tammy77]

Hi again Bright! I posted on the other thread. Great numbers!!! I can't wait for an update from you this afternoon!

Curly, yep we're almost DPO buddies! If it makes you feel better, I'm analyzing mine too even though I've been through this enough cycles to know that it's truly impossible to get anything out of temps until at least 12-14 DPO for me. Ah well, it's a fairly harmless distraction if I can keep it in moderation!

As a side note, DH and I watched two of our favorite shows last night (New Girl and Suburatory - don't judge!). BOTH of them were baby/pregnancy focused, which is unusual for both shows. Even DH noticed and commented. I feel the pressure/anxiety mounting and I still have a full week to go before testing.

 

[CurlySue]

Hi, ladies. Just checking in here, and hoping with a little bump to the thread we'll get some updates/posts/vents/whatevers.

Tammy - I saw your post in the other thread. I'm sorry you're feeling down, but all hope is not lost just yet. With that said, if it helps you to start thinking about how you can maximize the value of your doctor's appointment if need be, then it makes sense to get a plan in place.

Prana - Are you back from your trip yet? Hope you have had (or are still having) a wonderful time!

Bright - Not sure if you are checking in here anymore, but I am keeping up with your progress on the other thread. You seem like you are managing your nerves really well, and I am soooo hopeful that your scan goes well next week!!

I'm currently at 11DPO and have gotten two BFNs so far (today and yesterday). My LP is almost always 11 days, and in December, my BFP came at 12DPO. I suppose there is still hope, but for some reason I am feeling pretty negative about my chances. My chart was starting to look like it could be tri-phasic, but my temp trended down today and last night I started to get some lower back pains consistent with what I normally get pre-AF. So I guess we'll see. Hopefully I'll know sooner rather than later whether the witch is going to show up or not.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Curly,

Thank you for popping in over here. I definitely should have posted that update on this thread. It sucks to feel like the party pooper/odd one out. I'm having a rotten day.

I'm sorry that you're getting pre-AF symptoms and downward trending temps. Sometimes it really does suck to know our bodies so well. Big hugs to you.

 

[BrightSpot]

Hey curly. Yep, I'm still checking in. I'm trying to distract myself as much as possible but some days (moments?) are better than others. 
I really hope you have some good news tomorrow. I think a bfn at 11dpo isn't necessarily a bad sign. And my temp dropped like a stone my first bfp cycle (I didn't temp this cycle) then spiked at 12 DPO when I got my bfp. I'm going to cross my fingers for 
you. 

Prana, hope you're having a wonderful vacation & can't wait to hear all about it! Hope you're bringing home a little souvenir. 

Tammy, I responded in the other thread but just sending you another big hug here. And don't feel like you're being a downer. We all have those days, unfortunately some of us more than others. 

Ltl, thinking of you. 

Afm, just waiting for my u/s next Thursday & trying to stay as sane as possible. 

 

[CurlySue]

Well... CD1 for me. Definitely upsetting, but I'm glad I at least saw it coming.

Hoping things turn out better for you this month, Tammy.

 

[BrightSpot]

Curly, I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you.

 

[tammy77]

Oh Curly I'm so sorry. Do you have a plan for this month? That always helps me, at least a little. It's so unfair and frustrating!
AFM: I'm 11DPO and just waiting for AF, this cycle is a bust I'm sure. I tried to talk to my mom last night about how rough this week of my cycle is - the time from when you KNOW your period's inevitably coming until the time that it's past. Here's how it went...

Me: I'm having a really crappy day. I know my period is coming and I'm just so frustrated. I'm doing everything right and month after month I keep failing.
Mom: Well, you're just trying too hard. Your father and I tried everything to try to get pregnant with you. Once we stopped trying, that's all it took!
Me: Mom, you were on clomid, remember?
Mom: Well, yeah but we stopped worrying about everything like putting your legs up afterwards and all that.
Me: Alright mom, well I gotta go. I understand that you are trying to help, but the idea that someone struggling with infertility is just trying too hard is a slap in the face.

Meanwhile my head feels like it's going to explode and I want to scream F YOU! at her. Mind you, I never ever would yell a curse word at her, but in my mind....ugh.

I'm just really at the end of my rope with stupid comments and total lack of a "real life" outlet. *big deep breath in and out*

I ordered a book for DH today. He's been pretty good about everything, but we have these really awkward days where it's hard for us to feel close and connected when "the week" is here. It's like I'm living my life one month at a time and they're flying by. One part of me thinks everything is okay. I have time, it'll happen and I'm just being paranoid. The other part of me thinks that if I wait around and be passive, it's never going to happen. I'm just worn out.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Tammy, I just noticed your post and had to say that I got a very similar line from my mother. I know she didn't mean to be hurtful, but it really upset me to hear that after all of the timing and things I was doing to try to make it happen, that she was somehow suggesting it was my fault because I wasn't relaxed enough or was overthinking it. My mom had 4 children easily when she was in her 20s, so she just doesn't understand how it feels. As for tension with your DH, I can also relate. I was just so upset and consumed with TTC, and DH wanted it to happen because he didn't know how else to make me happy. It's just a cloud hanging over both partners' heads that won't go away, and I wish I had some advice on how to deal with that. Big hugs to you. Just know that this is NOT your fault.

Curly, so sorry to you too It's just so unfair!

 

[CurlySue]

Thanks, ladies. I truly appreciate the hugs and support. I am more sad than frustrated at this point, but this was really only our first try since my D&C. While I was certainly hoping we'd be blessed with another BFP right away, I definitely wasn't counting on it. This was a weird cycle for me - 41 days, with O delayed by more than a week from what's "normal" for me - so I also thought that might be problematic. Given the extra stress and extra travel I had to do, I can't really say I'm surprised. With all that said, it doesn't really make it any easier.

For now, I just hope this cycle is more normal. I've already looked at my work travel schedule for the month, and I should be able to stay home for most of the month, which should make things a little easier. I'm doing my best not to freak out, as I feel like it's to early to panic. I guess if I get the same BFN result next month, I'll set up an appointment with my doctor at that point to start talking through options.

Even though I'm trying not to freak out, I really am starting to wonder why this is happening to us. There must be a reason why we have been given this challenge. I feel like if I could understand that, I might be able to make peace with the possibility that this just might not happen for us. I wish I could wrap my head around it, but I just can't right now.

Tammy, I'm really sorry you had such a frustrating conversation with your mom. I think people often just want to help you solve your problems or help take away your stresses, when the reality is that most of the time, you just want someone to listen. My mom is the same way, and it can drive me off to the deep end. So now, before I even talk to her about things that are going on with me, I actually preface it by saying, "I am not looking for you to solve my problem or to tell me things will be OK. Right now, I need to feel what I'm feeling, and I just need you to listen."

Other than your mom, is there anyone else in your life that you feel you could open up to?

Hang in there. I am still hoping that this month has a happy ending for you.

 

[JGator]

Hi, Curly. I just want you to know there is hope, and I have been right in your shoes. We tried for 6 months, and then finally got a BFP to later have a MC at 10 weeks back in October. We started trying again in November/December. And, by February, we got a sticky BFP. I'm 12 weeks pregnant right now and waiting on pins and needles for our preliminary CVS test results to come in this afternoon. Hugs to you my dear. Hopefully, very soon you and the other lovely ladies here will get healthy, sticky BFPs.

Tammy, I can totally empathize with you. I felt like we were living in 2 week increments. Waiting to O and waiting to test. I really hope your journey in TTC-ville ends soon. Hugs to you!

 

[Puppmom]

Tammy, getting your period really is a slap in the face but it's always very much exaggerated (for me anyway) by the hormones. So, not only are you NOT pregnant, you're in a such a weak place in terms of your emotions. Not fair! As for your mom, I don't really know what to say. I don't have that kind of relationship with my mom - as in talking to her about my personal business. I don't talk to her about much besides the kids. I'm kind of guarded that way. None of our friends or family know we're TTC.

ETA - JGator, I was so happy to read that your scan went well. I'm hoping you get stellar CVS results too!

 

[BrightSpot]

Tammy, hugs to you.  I'm sorry he conversation with your mom was so frustrating. I ditto curly's suggestion of just asking her to listen next time. 
I hear ya about living your life 2 weeks at a time. And it's also so hard not to know how to plan for the future. 
For me, it made me feel better to be actively trying things (testing, etc) because it made me feel I was doing everything I could. Do you know more about your mom's fertility history? If clomid worked for your mom, maybe it would work for you. 

Curly, this was your first cycle after your d&c, right? I'm not surprised it was wonky. My first af lasted almost 2 weeks! Are you temping? Do you know if you o'd? Maybe it just takes a while for your body to get back on track. I understand the frustration though & really hope this next cycle is it for you!

Jgator, I'll be checking in for your CVS results. How are you feeling?

Afm, I had a bout of insomnia last night so I'm really sleepy today. I also found a super cute summer dress that was on the verge of being too snug. My debate-if this baby sticks I might not get a chance to wear this when it fits, but if there's no baby I'll be annoyed I didn't get the dress. 
I was trying to be positive & didn't get it. Here's hoping I don't get (non) buyer's remorse. 

 

[tammy77]

Hi Girls,

I'm trying to be less of a pessimist about the whole thing and not completely count myself out, which meant wasting a ridiculous amount of time today stalking FF charts for neg before pos entries. Regarding my mom, she's always had very irregular cycles, never used any form of birth control and only got pregnant w/me by taking clomid (oh and not trying so hard...SNORT). Sorry, couldn't resist.

I don't know what her issue was, but she did say that she had trouble ovulating. She'd have cycles that were 45-60 days long and was I think 25 when she conceived me. She married my dad at 17 (don't get me started...) and they started trying straight away (again...don't get me started, lol). I ended up being an only child even though they never protected after having me. So this is part of why I was shocked that she didn't have more compassion or tact when I opened up to her about it.

The thing is, I've had two previous pregnancies that were both easy (first I was charting in prep for TTC but "oops" happened and second child took I think 3-4mo of charting to conceive). That was 8 & 10 years ago now though. Holy $h!t I feel old all of a sudden. Maybe I just waited too long.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Hey guys, I am still here.

I wrote a longer post on the TTC thread, but I am around 8DPO and had the clomid/HCG with timed BD this month. My US showed I O'd two eggs, one on each ovary. I am a little nervous about the possibility of twins.

BrightSpot - I didn't say it in my other post. CONTRATS!!!!

Tammy - I am sorry about you Mom, that can be really frustrating when parents don't understand. Don't let yourself get down during this process. You are doing everything right, and that is really the best you can do.

JGator - I am so happy you made it to 12 weeks, and wishing you luck on your CVS.

CurlySue - I can't answer why this happened to you, but I see a lot of babies. While all the parents I see love their children, the ones who have had trouble have an appreciation that cannot be explained in words. I guess they don't take being a parent for granted? I am not saying Mom's who get pregnant easily do, but there is something there that is hard to explain. I don't know if this makes you feel better or not, but I do see lots of happy endings.

To everyone else, hello

 

[tammy77]

Hi Girls,

Hope everyone's hanging in there today, almost Friday! Ltl, when do you plan to test and did you test out your trigger? Did I miss that in my pity party fog? If so, I'm sorry!

Bright, I'm so glad that everything seems to be going well, I can't wait for your u/s!!

Jgator, I have to pop over and see how your CVS went, but I'm sure everything is great. Thanks for checking in on us!

Curly, have you had a nice glass (or three?) of wine? What are your comfort habits during AF? I have far too many of them I'm afraid.

Prana, how are you doing my dear? I haven't heard from you and I *think* this was your first clomid month. Good luck and miss you around here!

AFM: I'm 12DPO today, BFN on a wondfo so I'm pretty darn sure that I'm out. I'll link my chart for "fun" but really I don't hold out much hope at this point. Tammy's Chart . One thing I did do today that was possibly a little risky but took a HUGE load off of me and at least for now, I don't regret...I told my boss that I'm struggling to conceive. I ended up taking half day today because emotionally I'm a train wreck and I'm cramping, etc. just blah. I felt awful being dishonest with her about TTC because I do consider her a true friend. I'm EXTREMELY lucky in the boss department. She's wonderful.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Hey Tammy,

It is important to have a supportive boss. I was worried with mine, but he reminded me he has been married for 23 years with 4 kids and the knows a thing or two about how important this is. I have taken several days off, but when I had my serial ultrasounds, I used vacation. That has worked well.

I did not test out. I have a serum HCG on Monday morning. The sample will be mailed from my clinic's lab to another diagnostic lab. So it will not come back until Tuesday. I technically could have had the HCG drawn on Sat or Sun (I can't remember which one) but nothing will be open . It is going to be a long weekend. I am going to a friends house to night to have a "mocktail" with her since I am not drinking until I know what is going on.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Ltl,

Is there a reason that you're not taking a hpt this weekend? I'd be SO tempted, there would literally be no way I could stop myself. I've read around a lot (a LOT a LOT) about the triggers and usually from what I've seen they're gone by 8-9 dpo. Not to be an enabler, but okay to be one. I want to see you all w/BFP!

It's so nice to hear that your boss is supportive too. Good luck!

I'm currently still in pathetic scour the internet for examples of why it's not entirely impossible yet for me to be pregnant this month mode. We need to petition to add an emote like I've seen on other boards with the little guy slamming his head against a wall. I use far too much!

 

[CurlySue]

Hi, ladies.

Ltl - I was very excited to read your update. I am really rooting for you!! Hopefully you'll have lots to distract you as you wait for the results of your next draw.

Tammy - I know you are not feeling optimistic, but your chart still looks promising to me. I'm glad you opened up to your boss, as I would imagine it must have really helped relieve a bit of your stress.

Bright - This was actually my second cycle after the D&C but the first cycle trying again. I do temp and chart, and other than an occasional anovulatory cycle, I always get temp shifts. I had also done a 21-day test in the past and got confirmation from my doc that I was ovulating.

JGator - Thank you for the encouragement! I do know your story and definitely use it as an example of what is possible! Thank you for reminding me to have hope. Congratulations that all is progressing well for you so far!

AFM, I am feeling a little bit better today. Last night was my book group night, so I was able to enjoy the company of some lovely friends of mine. We enjoyed several bottles of wine and had a lot of laughs, which was exactly what I needed. Then when I got home, my awesome DH cuddled up with me and our dog on the couch.

So now I am going to send all my positive thoughts to you ladies in your TWW!