Wedding The necessity of programs

[redfaerythinker]

I was at a wedding recently and until then I had always assumed that I would have programs, much the same way as I had assumed to have a cake. However, I never really read the program, and since I also had to hold on to a paper cone of flowers I just found it a real hassle. So it got me to thinking. What is the real reason that I would need programs? And would any of you as a quest even miss them?

So, here's the poll

 

[Deelight]

I don''t hate programs but then again I don''t think they are of vital importance.

I was at a wedding this weekend they had programs that were fairly thick had the whole ceremony, readings and such printed in them and they had stacks leftover as well. I had a quick squiz in mine but then put it down (I think it is still in the car somewhere) but if they didn''t have programs I wouldn''t have missed them at all I don''t think the other guests would have either.

IMHO if your on a strict budget they seem a bit of a waste of money (and paper) I would by pass them even though we haven''t started wedding planning yet I highly doubt I will have programs I would rather put the money towards something else .

 

[zoebartlett]

I don''t have a stron opinion on programs, so I didn''t vote. I like them because it lets people know what the ceremony will be like (who''s in it, songs that will be played, readings that will be done, etc.), and reading a program is something that guests can do while waiting for the ceremony to begin. The only problem I see with them is that you may have lots left over -- and then what do you do with them? They can also be rather pricey, depending on you design yours.

So I guess I can see both sides. Yeah, no help, am I?

We had programs, and I''m glad we did. We also had a lot left over, and I hated knowing that I spent more money than I needed to getting them printed.

 

[mimzy]

i'll be honest.....i love programs. i read them like six times over before the ceremony starts and then i follow along with them during the ceremony. i love knowing where the readings come from, who the bridal party is, and any special little blurbs that the bride and groom put in there about special customs or notes to their guests. but i am a tad compulsive about reading things and schedules and knowing what's next, so i don't expect that all guests share my love of them!

i made our programs and i put a lot of effort into them and i think they'll look great, and i think they only cost $50 to make. but i agree with the others that if it would be a major expense to you or you personally don't care about them then not many people would miss them (except me!

) but even i wouldn't consider them a "necessity".

 

[neatfreak]

Can I say neither? I don't mind them if they are there (and will look at them), but I don't miss them if they aren't! We didn't have them.

 

[jstarfireb]

I wouldn''t say they''re a necessity, but I love programs. I''m the kind of person who reads the program at any event and always looks ahead to see what will be on next...so I miss them when they''re not there. My program is going to be a typical bi-fold. The front will just have the usual (wedding date, venue, our names). The next page will list the order of the ceremony, along with where each song and reading came from. The third page will list the bridal party''s and mothers'' names, as well as a little "thank you for coming" bit. I have the lyrics and translation of a vocal solo piece on the back page.

 

[doodle]

i wouldn''t say that i''m lost without them, but i definitely like having them. they tell me who everyone is, they make great fans if you get hot (fanning yourself with one can also keep tears from turning your makeup into something reminiscent of david bowie), and they give me something to do if i get bored (not that i make it a point to get bored at weddings, but i''ve been to a few catholic/episcopal weddings that were literally several hours long...reading the program kept me awake, haha!). I wouldn''t break the budget on them, but if they''re something you don''t feel that strongly about, you could always just print them on plain computer paper, fold them so they look somewhat programmy, slap a clipart on the front, and you''ve spent hardly anything on programs. i guess it depends on your wedding, too--if you''re having a really small wedding where everyone already knows who everyone is, you don''t really need them, but if you''re having a larger wedding, i''d definitely do them. just my $.02!

 

[CNOS128]

I think I have an unpopular opinion, but...

I REALLY dislike programs. Mostly because people seem to put so much energy and love into them, and they end up scattered on the floor or in the pews or stuffed into handbags.

Almost inevitably, there''s a typo or grammatical error or awkward phrase, and I hear all the people around me commenting on it -- that is, all the people who bothered to read the programs in the first place.

Maybe I''m heartless, but I don''t really care to know who the people are in the ceremony. If they feel the need to be formally introduced (and I''m also not a fan of reception introductions of the bridal party), I suppose the program might be useful to serve this purpose; but as a wedding guest I don''t need a list of players.

The one time I found programs useful was when our Greek Orthodox friends got married in a very (long and) traditional ceremony - it was nice to see what the purpose was of each element. But the same could have been accomplished by an announcement from the officiant. I enjoyed having them there, however, because the ceremony began so late that I was bored out of my mind and welcomed the reading material.

 

[sba771]

I think it depends on what kind of wedding you would be having. I am having a big Jewish wedding with lots of non-Jews coming so my program will explain the different parts of the ceremony so they don''t feel lost or confused. I have also been to weddings without them and it is not the end of the world.

 

[pocahontas]

I didn't vote either 'cause none of the options are quite right. Here's my opinion: I like programs. Like so many of the other ladies, I enjoy following along and knowing what to anticipate in the ceremony. I also like knowing who's who. However, having said that I don't think they're a necessity. In the few weddings I've attended that didn't have programs it wasn't like I felt cheated out of something and it certainly didn't affect my enjoyment of the moment. If money isn't an issue then I say go for it - whomever wants one will take one and whomever doesn't won't. If money is an issue though then skip it and don't think twice about your decision 'cause most of your guests won't.

 

[Shoopy]

For me personally, I don''t like programs just like I don''t like agendas. They''re too distracting. Normally I spend the time going Ok Sally just read so that means Christy is up next and we have 7 things left until we get to go party. Or I''ll find the part that I really want to pay attention to, like the vow exchange, see how many people go before that, and then stare off into space. I''m weird that way.

 

[v!v!]

I voted that I don''t really notice if they are there or not. I do read them when they are there, but if someone didn''t have them I wouldn''t notice. I recently went to a catholic wedding which was really long and they had programs and I liked it because I could see where they were in the ceremony and gauge how much time was left... I''m getting married next weekend and we''re having a non-religious (short) ceremony so I didn''t really feel it was necessary to include programs...

 

[debzy103]

I think if there''s something in your ceremony that you''d like to explain then it''s key to have a program.

I think it''s nice to know who is walking down the aisle and how the bride and groom know each person.

Also, personally, I am going to have a lot of Jewish traditions in my wedding that many people might not be familiar with. The program is the perfect place to describe these traditions.

 

[Sabine]

Well, I''m going to be honest here...and this is coming from a Catholic who goes to mass most weeks...if the service is long, I like a program cause I tend to get bored and need something to read...

But if your ceremony is short (half hour or less) then I don''t think I would really notice not having one.

 

[aprilcait]

I really didn''t want to do prgrams (I viewed the as fluff and didn''t want to waste my time with it) but I''m Catholic so that meant I HAD to have a program and, not only that, but it had to be this multi-page mini-booklet with the responsorials, prayers, etc. So, if you''re Catholic or if you''re getting married in the Catholic church (I''m not sure if you are), then you might not have a choice in that department.

 

[Sha]

I think programs are good because they help guests know what to expect during the ceremony and reception. As a guest I appreciate being able to follow along with the order of Events, instead of not knowing what''s going to happen next. I also enjoy learning who the attendants, family members are etc - it helps me feel more a part of the whole Event. It''s also very convenient to include messages to your guests on your Programs - for example, a Thank You message.

Programs don''t have to be long - ours was a simple card with the ceremony Order of Events was on one side and the Reception Order of Events on the other side, along with the Thank You Message. That was it!

 

[Sparkalicious]

I love programs! I read them several times and really like "knowing" what''s going on and who is who but I never know what to do with them after the ceremony. I don''t want to throw them out b/c it is such a waste but I don''t usually keep them either.

 

[kittybean]

I vote YES on programs

.

I really like programs, especially for determining who is in the wedding party. That always interests my mom and me. I am bummed if there aren''t programs, especially when it''s a unique or different type of ceremony that warrants an explanation to those unfamiliar with that culture. If this is the case, I think an oral explanation would be fine, too, but it seems like it might break up the ceremony too much if someone were constantly explaining what was happening.

 

[HollyS]

Huge waste of time and money, unless the wedding is a very large one, with a lot of participants, a lot of readings, a lot of congregational singing, congregational participation, communion service to include everyone, a very important singer/musician is performing, special tributes are being made to deceased family members, etc.

If everyone knows you, they know your story. If they don''t know you, they shouldn''t be at your wedding. (I''m not joking here.) Weddings are supposed to be celebrations for family and friends, not the huge social event of the season. That nonsense is for royalty, the rich, and the ridiculous.

Prior to the 1980''s, I don''t remember ever seeing a ''program'' at a wedding. The first time I saw one, I thought "what the heck is this thing?" People have been marrying for centuries without them; so can you.

 

[Gypsy]

Sometimes they are useful, although usually as a fan. I nixed the program and bought silk fans. No one complained or noticed. But we had a small bridal party and a short ceremony.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 10/30/2008 6:16:57 PM
Author: Sparkalicious
I love programs! I read them several times and really like ''knowing'' what''s going on and who is who but I never know what to do with them after the ceremony. I don''t want to throw them out b/c it is such a waste but I don''t usually keep them either.

I forgot to add that for our wedding we will be making a limited amount of them. This way people who want them can have them and people who just want to peek at it can look at someone else''s or if they don''t want them, they don''t have to have anything to do with them!

 

[lovesparklies]

I''m kind of with HollyS except with opposite views... "unless the wedding is a very large one, with a lot of participants, a lot of readings, a lot of congregational singing, congregational participation, communion service to include everyone, a very important singer/musician is performing, special tributes are being made to deceased family members, etc. "

I WILL have a lot of these things so I will have a program. The ceremony for me is a type of church service and there will be things that the guests will participate in/sing along to/etc. Will the programs get thrown away afterwards like regular Sunday service programs? Sure, but that''s fine. They''re meant to be used to follow along during the service and they''ve served their purpose after that.

When I''m a guest at weddings I really like having a program, though. I like to know who is standing up front and what songs they chose and so on. I''ve kept a lot of programs so I''d have examples for my own wedding!

 

[Haven]

We had programs at our ceremony because we wanted our non-Jewish guests to understand why the heck I was circling around the groom at the beginning of the ceremony (among other things).

I enjoy having them at religious ceremonies, but if it's a secular ceremony and everything is pretty straightforward I can pretty much figure it out on my own.

ETA: After reading all the responses it looks like some people are paying a lot for programs, as well as taking a lot of time to create them. We did neither. My mom wrote one out in calligraphy and then we copied them out on nice paper. If they're going to be a time and money drain, then I agree that they're a waste. If it's no big deal to whip some out, then I say go for it.

 

[iheartscience]

The wedding I just went to had no programs and I didn''t notice until the recent threads here about programs! Which made me decide that I''m not going to have programs!

 

[redfaerythinker]

Thanks for the great responses everybody! I go back and forth on programs. I see that they can be useful to keep yourself occupied and to convey pertinent information. And I also think that they can be really pretty. However they are expensive and i''m pretty sure that my mom views it as a waste of money. Hmmm.

Aprilcait, I am Catholic but odds are good that I will not be having the full mass. Too long, imho. I see what you mean about the necessity of the programs in that sense.

Hmmm, much to think about. Thanks again ladies!

 

[katamari]

Date: 10/30/2008 12:52:51 PM
Author: fieryred33143
For me personally, I don''t like programs just like I don''t like agendas. They''re too distracting. Normally I spend the time going Ok Sally just read so that means Christy is up next and we have 7 things left until we get to go party. Or I''ll find the part that I really want to pay attention to, like the vow exchange, see how many people go before that, and then stare off into space. I''m weird that way.

Yup. Ditto.

 

[violet02]

Date: 10/30/2008 7:14:14 PM
Author: Gypsy
Sometimes they are useful, although usually as a fan. I nixed the program and bought silk fans. No one complained or noticed. But we had a small bridal party and a short ceremony.

Your wedding didn't need them at all Gypsy... loved that parasol/umbrella though! That and the fans were way more worth it.

I did programs after saying I wouldn't do them originally... I liked being able to list of all my wedding party and immediate family in there. It was a nice 'guide' for folks since most of them were from out of town... just made it a bit more formal.

Honesty though my friend had a basket of them at her wedding... I missed getting one and didn't even notice the difference.

Oh and I made my own... that saved a bunch.

 

[swimmer]

Date: 10/30/2008 9:59:13 PM
Author: Haven
We had programs at our ceremony because we wanted our non-Jewish guests to understand why the heck I was circling around the groom at the beginning of the ceremony (among other things).


I enjoy having them at religious ceremonies, but if it''s a secular ceremony and everything is pretty straightforward I can pretty much figure it out on my own.


ETA: After reading all the responses it looks like some people are paying a lot for programs, as well as taking a lot of time to create them. We did neither. My mom wrote one out in calligraphy and then we copied them out on nice paper. If they''re going to be a time and money drain, then I agree that they''re a waste. If it''s no big deal to whip some out, then I say go for it.

I''m in the same boat as Haven, just wanted people to know when to shout Mazel Tov and what was going on with us circling each other, and two glasses of wine... I made the programs in 20 mins, printed them tea-length at DH''s work on paper from Staples, cut them at school on a papercutter, and to please mom stuck pre-fab bows on them from Michaels, 200 programs cost less than $30 with coupons. People also used them to shade their eyes on the groom''s side, where it was rather blinding.

I''m not a fan of huge ones with tassels, what is the point? Lovely if you have money to burn, but not necessary to go to that extent.

 

[Rhea]

I look at them to determine how long the ceremony will be, but don''t care about them other than that.

 

[buttercup80]

Date: 10/30/2008 10:12:59 AM
Author: sba771
I think it depends on what kind of wedding you would be having. I am having a big Jewish wedding with lots of non-Jews coming so my program will explain the different parts of the ceremony so they don''t feel lost or confused. I have also been to weddings without them and it is not the end of the world.

Ditto. I originally was not going to have programs at all, but my mom felt strongly about it - for the above reason. They were a bit of a hassle b/c I did them myself, but they were a nice addition that matched all of our other stationary. . . we did have an awful lot left behind, though...

As a guest, I never really know what to do with them - it''s not my wedding, so they''re not really a keepsake for ME, you know?

I don''t think anyone finds them really objectionable - just a personal preference.