The LIW Small Talk Thread

[ckrickett]

HI!

It has been forever since I have logged on, but I wanted to say hey and see how you ladies are doing???!!!

 

[audball]

Hey!Good seeing you around her! I don't think many of the current LIW girls use this thread. I only saw it since I was still subscribed! Lots of them checking in on the 'Updates, anyone?' thread started by madelise, though!

 

[MBKRH]

I know I've been absent lately, but for good reason...

I lost my job three weeks ago. It was due to position elimination. So, I have been scrambling to find work. Unfortunately, I am under-qualified for many of the jobs in my field, and over-qualified for jobs that'll "just get me by and pay some bills" (like retail jobs and such). I am getting beyond frustrated; I have only been unemployed once in my life, and it was due to relocation. I found a job in three months after I was settled, though. (I was also only 20, living at home, and had no big financial responsibilities).

M has been supportive, but I can sense that he is starting to panic, as am I. My unemployment benefits will hardly cover our expenses. I've managed to get my student loans deferred until January, so that helps slightly. I'm going stir crazy, sitting in our apartment all day (I'm trying not to drive anywhere unless I have to, with gas being $4.49/gal now. )

So, yeah..... just a quick update. I'm glad things are going well for everyone. I hope many of you come off the list in the near future.

 

[pandabee]

HI!

It has been forever since I have logged on, but I wanted to say hey and see how you ladies are doing???!!!

hi there stranger! What is new with you?

H I'm so sorry about your job...economy is rough (when is that going to end??) Dust that you find a job soon, even if it's just something to tide you guys over.

 

[SMC]

I know I've been absent lately, but for good reason...

I lost my job three weeks ago. It was due to position elimination. So, I have been scrambling to find work. Unfortunately, I am under-qualified for many of the jobs in my field, and over-qualified for jobs that'll "just get me by and pay some bills" (like retail jobs and such). I am getting beyond frustrated; I have only been unemployed once in my life, and it was due to relocation. I found a job in three months after I was settled, though. (I was also only 20, living at home, and had no big financial responsibilities).

M has been supportive, but I can sense that he is starting to panic, as am I. My unemployment benefits will hardly cover our expenses. I've managed to get my student loans deferred until January, so that helps slightly. I'm going stir crazy, sitting in our apartment all day (I'm trying not to drive anywhere unless I have to, with gas being $4.49/gal now. )

So, yeah..... just a quick update. I'm glad things are going well for everyone. I hope many of you come off the list in the near future.

Hello, I'm sorry you lost your job. I was laid-off at the end of January too and I understand the feelings of apprehension and nervousness. Good news is that the economy isn't as bad as it was a few years ago - it took me a month to find a new job but there are jobs out there! Where are you looking? I had success using LinkedIn to look for work and network with people.

 

[MBKRH]

Thanks guys. I hope I can find something soon.

I've been using indeed.com and careerbuilder. I haven't had much success with Linked In, although I do look on there. I've also glanced around on simplyhired, but a lot of those jobs are careerbuilder and monster repeats.

I've toyed with the idea of looking in other (cheaper) cities to live. As much as I love the Chicago burbs, it is very expensive to live here. M could easily obtain employment elsewhere, so ideally, we could go somewhere else. I'm just apprehensive about moving. I've moved around my whole life, and I don't care for it.
We have also talked to his mom about us moving in with them, if worse came to worse, so we do have a back up plan if I don't get a job before we have to renew our lease.

 

[ckrickett]

HI!

It has been forever since I have logged on, but I wanted to say hey and see how you ladies are doing???!!!

hi there stranger! What is new with you?

Hmm, nothing to much... working (building my start up) and taking care of my furbabies!
I'd been so busy i;d forgotten to check on here, and it was always something I enoyed, so when I had a chance and a reason I came roght back!

 

[pandabee]

HI!

It has been forever since I have logged on, but I wanted to say hey and see how you ladies are doing???!!!

hi there stranger! What is new with you?

Hmm, nothing to much... working (building my start up) and taking care of my furbabies!
I'd been so busy i;d forgotten to check on here, and it was always something I enoyed, so when I had a chance and a reason I came roght back!

How many furbabies do you have? You should share some pics...never enough pictures of furbabies

Finally took my 2nd portion of my exam today....do not feel like it went well. urghhhhhhh oh well just gotta wait and see now!!

 

[ckrickett]

HI!

It has been forever since I have logged on, but I wanted to say hey and see how you ladies are doing???!!!

hi there stranger! What is new with you?

Hmm, nothing to much... working (building my start up) and taking care of my furbabies!
I'd been so busy i;d forgotten to check on here, and it was always something I enoyed, so when I had a chance and a reason I came roght back!

How many furbabies do you have? You should share some pics...never enough pictures of furbabies

Finally took my 2nd portion of my exam today....do not feel like it went well. urghhhhhhh oh well just gotta wait and see now!!

Well I live Ina property with 3 houses, so between the houses we have 8 fuzzy friends! My own cat can be a bit of a brat, but I live her nonetheless! Ill see if I can find any decent pictures of them!

 

[MBKRH]

My Blackhawks are the Stanley Cup champions!!!! If I can't be excited for a ring, this is the next best thing.

 

[nowicanseethemoon]

I've been remarkably unproductive lately. I don't know if it's the hot weather, my frustration with my job search, or my preoccupation with looking at JbEG , but the result is I haven't gotten much done! Anyone else have the summer blahs?

 

[MBKRH]

Ugh, yes... thankfully, I found a new job, and it's a 5 minute drive from home, which is awesome. Other than that- M's been on my arse about finding a new place to live. Neither of us are happy in our apartment, but we aren't financially ready for home ownership. All the other apartments in our city are super expensive. I WANT to stay in our city- he's itching to move. He's been posting pictures of rings he likes on my FB......... but then last night he said he's afraid of marrying me because he'll inherit my 30K in student loan debt. ouch.... that hurt! It's not that he DOESN'T want to marry me; he just doesn't want his credit to go to pot (it's already low and he's trying to improve it). I get it but............ man! I hate my loans, too. I wish I would have never taken that much money out for an Associates degree!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Hugs MBKRH!

Wow! Ouch. I can understand you being hurt. Maybe I am just being naïve here but I don’t think your debt, which is just in YOUR name, gets automatically added to his credit report the second you two get married... right? I mean I know that as a couple, it’s a debt that will ultimately affect your buying power a little but…really?

SO has some school loans in the ballpark of $30k but honestly, these days… who doesn’t? I mean some people have more than others but I am in my mid- 20’s and just about every friend I have has SOME school loan debt. I am just glad that SO went to school and got a degree in something that he enjoys. We will deal with the payments and make as many extra payments as we can until it gets paid off. Maybe you guys need to talk about it? You sound really hurt and I would be too.

As far as moving… maybe let him start looking for a new apartment so that he sees how expensive they are? Sit down with a budget and show him that it won’t work. Congrats on the new job! I hope you are enjoying it.

 

[MBKRH]

Hugs MBKRH!

Wow! Ouch. I can understand you being hurt. Maybe I am just being naïve here but I don’t think your debt, which is just in YOUR name, gets automatically added to his credit report the second you two get married... right? I mean I know that as a couple, it’s a debt that will ultimately affect your buying power a little but…really?

SO has some school loans in the ballpark of $30k but honestly, these days… who doesn’t? I mean some people have more than others but I am in my mid- 20’s and just about every friend I have has SOME school loan debt. I am just glad that SO went to school and got a degree in something that he enjoys. We will deal with the payments and make as many extra payments as we can until it gets paid off. Maybe you guys need to talk about it? You sound really hurt and I would be too.

As far as moving… maybe let him start looking for a new apartment so that he sees how expensive they are? Sit down with a budget and show him that it won’t work. Congrats on the new job! I hope you are enjoying it.

Thanks antique, and I'm not quite sure how the laws work in my state exactly (Illinois is not a community property state). If anyone knows how it works as far as affecting a spouse's credit, please let me know!
I know I need to talk to him - right now is just bad timing, though. I'm in PMS city, so I'd definitely overreact and be irrational.

He's well aware of the costs of the other apartments we (I've) been interested in, which is all the more reason he wants to buy a house. I've just been skirting around the issue the best I can, but it hasn't been easy. I've already given him my reasons for not wanting to buy something right now, but he thinks I'm just being stubborn (I'm sure I am) because I want to stay in our city and I'm not willing to be flexible. Apparently he's never heard of "Happy wife, happy life."
It's a lot to think about. I know we need to talk. It's just a matter of finding the right time to do so.

 

[SMC]

Hugs MBKRH!

Wow! Ouch. I can understand you being hurt. Maybe I am just being naïve here but I don’t think your debt, which is just in YOUR name, gets automatically added to his credit report the second you two get married... right? I mean I know that as a couple, it’s a debt that will ultimately affect your buying power a little but…really?

SO has some school loans in the ballpark of $30k but honestly, these days… who doesn’t? I mean some people have more than others but I am in my mid- 20’s and just about every friend I have has SOME school loan debt. I am just glad that SO went to school and got a degree in something that he enjoys. We will deal with the payments and make as many extra payments as we can until it gets paid off. Maybe you guys need to talk about it? You sound really hurt and I would be too.

As far as moving… maybe let him start looking for a new apartment so that he sees how expensive they are? Sit down with a budget and show him that it won’t work. Congrats on the new job! I hope you are enjoying it.

Thanks antique, and I'm not quite sure how the laws work in my state exactly (Illinois is not a community property state). If anyone knows how it works as far as affecting a spouse's credit, please let me know!
I know I need to talk to him - right now is just bad timing, though. I'm in PMS city, so I'd definitely overreact and be irrational.

He's well aware of the costs of the other apartments we (I've) been interested in, which is all the more reason he wants to buy a house. I've just been skirting around the issue the best I can, but it hasn't been easy. I've already given him my reasons for not wanting to buy something right now, but he thinks I'm just being stubborn (I'm sure I am) because I want to stay in our city and I'm not willing to be flexible. Apparently he's never heard of "Happy wife, happy life."
It's a lot to think about. I know we need to talk. It's just a matter of finding the right time to do so.

Hmm, this was interesting to me, so I googled it and found these articles: http://www.investopedia.com/ask/answers/06/marriageandcreditscore.asp
http://www.experian.com/ask-experian/20120926-new-spouses-bad-credit-wont-hurt-your-credit-scores.html

Since your student loans are not joint, I don't think that your loans will affect his credit score.

 

[MBKRH]

You're quick on the trigger, sortmom! I had actually done the same thing and I found a few different links with good information about the subject. So, I feel a bit better now. I'll still talk with him at the right time and let him know it hurt my feelings, even though it was unintentional. He was misinformed and I was uninformed regarding my student loan debts and whether they affect his score after marriage.

Side note - his good friend just proposed to his gf (of ten years ) on Monday. Two of his coworkers proposed to their gf's on the 4th of July. It's soooooooo nice knowing that he's indirectly feeling the pressure now, and I'm cool as a cucumber (slightly) because everyone in my department is already married or been engaged for a while. I'm just gonna sit back and ride this one out; maybe it'll light a fire under him to start saving for a ring. *fingers crossed*

 

[ckrickett]

You're quick on the trigger, sortmom! I had actually done the same thing and I found a few different links with good information about the subject. So, I feel a bit better now. I'll still talk with him at the right time and let him know it hurt my feelings, even though it was unintentional. He was misinformed and I was uninformed regarding my student loan debts and whether they affect his score after marriage.

Side note - his good friend just proposed to his gf (of ten years ) on Monday. Two of his coworkers proposed to their gf's on the 4th of July. It's soooooooo nice knowing that he's indirectly feeling the pressure now, and I'm cool as a cucumber (slightly) because everyone in my department is already married or been engaged for a while. I'm just gonna sit back and ride this one out; maybe it'll light a fire under him to start saving for a ring. *fingers crossed*

I was in the same boat with my significant other. We did a little digging and found out it wouldn't affect him at all. We live in Florida though. Not sure if it would be the same or different for you. Good luck though!

 

[quaddio]

I was reading some of the topics here to try and figure out - how do you know when you're a LIW? I don't tend to wait around and if I wanted to get married I'd probably go make it happen (to my lucky unsuspecting boyfriend). I won't rely on *dust* to make my bling dreams come true.

Should I join the list? Can I stay on it indefinitely? What's the benefit of being on the list vs lurking/posting around and enjoying bling for its own sake?

 

[madelise]

I was reading some of the topics here to try and figure out - how do you know when you're a LIW? I don't tend to wait around and if I wanted to get married I'd probably go make it happen (to my lucky unsuspecting boyfriend). I won't rely on *dust* to make my bling dreams come true.

Should I join the list? Can I stay on it indefinitely? What's the benefit of being on the list vs lurking/posting around and enjoying bling for its own sake?

It's just for fun... -_- I don't think anyone actually believes magic internet ps dust will give them their dreams.

 

[ckrickett]

I was reading some of the topics here to try and figure out - how do you know when you're a LIW? I don't tend to wait around and if I wanted to get married I'd probably go make it happen (to my lucky unsuspecting boyfriend). I won't rely on *dust* to make my bling dreams come true.

Should I join the list? Can I stay on it indefinitely? What's the benefit of being on the list vs lurking/posting around and enjoying bling for its own sake?

It's just for fun... -_- I don't think anyone actually believes magic internet ps dust will give them their dreams.

You mean it's NOT REAL!?

 

[4ever]

Should I join the list? Can I stay on it indefinitely? What's the benefit of being on the list vs lurking/posting around and enjoying bling for its own sake?

For me, waiting around seamed very unproductive and frustrating, so at least moving up the lists felt like somewhat of an achievement. It's a way of passing/ marking time and I found it comforting that there were a bunch of other ladies in the same position as me.

Anyway, I was just thinking about LIW and thought I'd pop in and say hi.