The infamous Two Months' Salary "rule"...

[Haven]

Congratulations on your engagement, Neil!

Oh gosh, no. Neither my original nor my current e-ring cost two months' salary, gross or net.
But now that you mention it . . .

 

[justginger]

Without actually planning it, yes, my original ering was about 2 months' gross salary for DH. But we split the bill because it was more than I felt comfortable having him deplete from his savings. I wanted the fancy bling, I opened the purse.

 

[rubybeth]

Since DH was between work study jobs and had $0 income, he spent quite a lot relative to his income. I would like to spend about one month of our total net income on an eventual upgrade.

 

[madelise]

Saw this on a website (don't know if I'm allowed to mention) that is like Pricescope's LIW section for men.

Tradition says "Two Months' Salary."

Cruel? Exorbitant? Extortion? Maybe, but this is the industry standard. Actually, there is a method to this madness. The thought is that if the guy can save up two month’s salary, at least there’s some basic stability in his life, as opposed to an 18-year-old with $97 bucks to his name. Some people say one month, some say three, some say it shouldn’t matter… but this is your safest route. By the way, a lot of sites have “widgets” to help you calculate the amount you to spend if you follow this rule of thumb. Hint: two months out of twelve is 16.66666666%. You don't need a widget. And you might be wondering…is that pre-tax or post-tax? Does it include your annual bonus? Before or after you account for 401(k) withholdings? All fair questions, but they all sort of miss the boat. The two months' salary adage is just to get you in the ballpark. No one will grill you on the exact dollars or percents. That said, pretax, and if your bonus is relatively guaranteed, yep, I’d throw it in the calculation.

Interesting theory on why some women hold to DeBeers' marketing technique.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Congrats denverappraiser! I would love to see both your ring and hers!!!

FI spent about 1 month's salary, net... he spent what he was comfortable with and paid cash. I would rather it be that way than have a massive rock. I would hate for him to feel obligated to spend more than he felt comfortable with because of DeBeers... It's criminal that people are made to feel that they *have* to spend a certain amount, and end up buying on credit and pay more than the stone is worth. I know several girls who are expecting... no... DEMANDING a 2ct ring from their BFs who make $40k a year or less. There is no rationalizing with them either... they can't grasp why it's not realistic. sad, really...

 

[50shadesofblack]

Re: The infamous Two Months' Salary "rule"...

If the man is trying to impress the girl's father and trying to show that he can take care of her, then yes, it is a good rule.

However, nowadays we girls do not need permission to marry anymore and are (mostly and hopefully) able to provide for ourselves so this is just rubbish.

I believe that the amount spent on the ring is a very personal thing and should factor in the financial situation of both partners. Taking a loan to buy a ring is something I personally frown upon, as I would rather start my married life ringless but debt-free, but I know people do it.

I am happy we discussed this and chose the ring and the budget we were both comfortable with. After all, that kind of discussion before a big purchase where we can debate things and reach a decision together was more important to me that the bling on my finger (even if I do adore my bling ).

 

[rosetta]

Ok, mine was way more. But he'd saved up for it, we have no debt,mortgage or dependants so why not?

 

[jaysonsmom]

My original e-ring was about 1 month gross of Dh's salary, but 10 years later, his income doubled, and my upgrade was more than 2 months gross of his doubled income....so I was lucky I stayed around

 

[madelise]

I'd love to also chime in and give a definite yes/no answer, but I don't know his salary, so.. ?

It's kind of harder when you're technically paying yourself as a business owner, and it's in the beginning stages! He actually said he hasn't "paid himself" in the last year and a half since starting his company. All incoming $ goes straight back into investing and building his own company. So.. if his salary is $0.00, I can say I've had a budget that was 1,000% his yearly salary! Heck, no, 1,000,000%! That sounds more fun, lol.

We definitely spent more than the usual couple, but we were thinking more in terms of a forever ring. We knew if we didn't, all the upgrading to eventually end up with my dream ring would cost more $ out of pocket. Each $, then, at that time, would be worth a lot more weight to us since we would most likely be carrying financial burdens of children/mortgage/etc.

We're saving the (very vital) detailed financial discussion for post-engagement/pre-union. I don't need a ring that's any months' worth of salary to prove that he is a provider and has a healthy enough living that can take care of the family if anything disasterous were to happen. Besides, I am a very firm believer than a woman should be financially stable herself should anything happen. I'll be able to support us if sh*t hits the fan. At least enough to take care of a motel room and food So the quoted passage I posted last night doesn't really apply too much to us.

 

[Jennifer W]

I don't know what the ring cost or what his monthly salary is, so ....hard to tell. It's a beautiful ring, though.