The Gen Z stare - have you noticed this?

[Mreader]

You were showing your age by using cash I’m amazed that the math was done to be able to even know what to put in the register after the change was dropped. I tried to do this once with somebody where something cost five dollars and I gave them $11 so that I can get a five dollar bill back and it was incomprehensible to the cashier.

I’m Gen X btw and laughing at myself for having my “kids today” moments and shaking my fist at a cloud.

I just realized I did my math wrong lmao - something cost $6 and I have $11 to get a $5 bill back instead of four ones. Anyway that was quite some time ago as I almost never pay with cash anymore.

 

[tyty333]

I also rarely use cash anymore, but it was such a small amount. Wonder if this is the consequence of basically turning into a
cashless society.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I have to tell this story that happened to me a couple of weeks ago...

I go to the drive-thru at McDs (daughter wants a McFlurry).
I order it and pull up to the window. The total is like $2.34.
I handed the person at the window $5.34. The girl at the
window has extremely long fake fingernails. She/we drop
some of the coins on the ground. She looks at me, says, "It's
ok, I don't need any change". (not the reason I was giving her
change, but ok). I'm assuming she is going to give me credit
for the change that was dropped and just give me $3.00 back
(I told her I gave her exact change.)

What does she do? She enters $5.00 as what I gave her. Does not take
into account any of the change I gave her (which some is in her hand and the
other is on the ground). She attempts to give me back $2.76 but also drops
more of it on the ground as she hands it to me. I look at her and...the stare.
Not oops, not I'm sorry, not let me make this right...nothing but...the stare. I
look out my car window at the ground, and guess what? There is a lot of change on
ground. Not just my coins, but other people's change that she has
dropped due to her long fingernails.

I was dumbfounded by the whole experience. I worked fast food in high school
and I'm pretty sure I would have handled it so differently.

Do I just expect too much? What would you have done in this situation? I chose
not to do anything.

I get the fact that it is not worth the effort of parking the car and getting out to settle it. Complaining about her also wouldn’t guarantee that she would be talked to or told her fingernails are precluding her from doing her job correctly. It is amazing how employees are really not supervised these days. I had a grocery store clerk the other day with those long nails. She was using her knuckles to tap in information for produce. Two errors were made but of course I didn’t see it happen in real time - only when I got home and looked at my receipt. Not a big money deal and you hate to call and jeopardize her job in some way. Just amazing that no one in management sees that happening, but she was doing the knuckle tapping with the customer in front of me. Just blows my mind that your claw nails are more important to you than doing a good job. Priorities just in the wrong place but they get away with it so why not? Crazy!!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I also rarely use cash anymore, but it was such a small amount. Wonder if this is the consequence of basically turning into a
cashless society.

One of my inherited habits as an immigrant from a country that went through a revolution and has a shady government is to always have cash on hand. My parents drilled it into me. I always have an emergency 100$ on my person and enough at home to buy a flight out of the country. My mom used to tell me stories of sewing cash into her clothes to hide it.
It boggles me when people have no cash on them at all when we’re out haha. Saved the day when we went to the beach and the guys renting out umbrellas only took cash.

 

[OreoRosies86]

The Gen Z stare is a real thing. However I will say, as a parent of a teen in the work force, the older generation needs to do a way better job speaking to people in general pleasantly, and with respect. Setting a good example is important, and most of society is falling pretty short.

 

[tyty333]

One of my inherited habits as an immigrant from a country that went through a revolution and has a shady government is to always have cash on hand. My parents drilled it into me. I always have an emergency 100$ on my person and enough at home to buy a flight out of the country. My mom used to tell me stories of sewing cash into her clothes to hide it.
It boggles me when people have no cash on them at all when we’re out haha. Saved the day when we went to the beach and the guys renting out umbrellas only took cash.

I think we all can understand where you're coming from. I pretty much put everything on my CC (paid off each month), but like
to keep a little bit of cash in my wallet for small things. And yes, you never know when you're going to come across a small business
that doesn't take CCs, so keeping some cash can save the day!

 

[MissGotRocks]

I think we all can understand where you're coming from. I pretty much put everything on my CC (paid off each month), but like
to keep a little bit of cash in my wallet for small things. And yes, you never know when you're going to come across a small business
that doesn't take CCs, so keeping some cash can save the day!

I am so bad about not keeping cash. My husband fusses about it all the time because you never know what you might need. I try to remember to keep some cash and if used to replace it. With the advent of debit cards, I so seldom use cash anymore.

 

[tyty333]

The Gen Z stare is a real thing. However I will say, as a parent of a teen in the work force, the older generation needs to do a way better job speaking to people in general pleasantly, and with respect. Setting a good example is important, and most of society is falling pretty short.

I agree...I strive to be friendly and respectful to everyone I interact with. They deserve respect as much as I do. Some people are
disrespectful to people with lower-wage jobs (like fast food), but I think anyone out there trying to earn an honest dollar deserves
respect.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I responded to the too long fake nails girl after she dropped my change on the ground the second
time...I'm pretty sure I skipped the "Thank you." Matter of fact, I might have even given her the "stare" back because I was speechless!

 

[MissGotRocks]

I agree...I strive to be friendly and respectful to everyone I interact with. They deserve respect as much as I do. Some people are
disrespectful to people with lower-wage jobs (like fast food), but I think anyone out there trying to earn an honest dollar deserves
respect.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I responded to the too long fake nails girl after she dropped my change on the ground the second
time...I'm pretty sure I skipped the "Thank you." Matter of fact, I might have even given her the "stare" back because I was speechless!

Same here. I do not approach anyone without speaking and am always courteous to workers. When working as a teen, management did not care about my feelings. The customer was always right and our job was to make them happy. We were being paid to do that. I am constantly amazed by some of today's workers - young and old. They don't all greet people that come to them, nor do they always respond if I speak to them. Adults should be models for the young and parents should teach their children good manners.

 

[kenny]

There is actually a Wiki article about it.
So "The Gen Z Stare" must really be a thing.

Interesting read:

Gen Z stare - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[kenny]

@Mreader thanks for starting this thread.
It's got me to look into this, and learn a thing or two.

More understanding on my part influences my attitude.
I already feel a bit less annoyance towards "those people".

Generations have just varied since 'secks' (((can't use that 3-letter special no-no word on PS))) has been manufacturing every replacement crop.

Certainly that's nothing new, and actually nothing over which to get one's 'knickers in a twist' if you're in the UK, or 'panties in a wad' if you're in the USA.

 

[VRBeauty]

The thing I’ve noticed about “kids these days” is their apparent aversion to saying “you’re welcome.” It seems to have been replaced by “of course,” “no problem,” or even “perfect.”

Speaking of “perfect,” my hubby and I recently dined in a restaurant where “perfect” seemed to be the word of the day.

The response to placing our orders? “Perfect!”

After requesting some water? “Perfect!”

Upon remarking that our dinner was good? “Perfect!”

After asking for the check? “Perfect!”

By the end of the meal we were fighting to keep a straight face.

 

[kenny]

The thing I’ve noticed about “kids these days” is their apparent aversion to saying “you’re welcome.” It seems to have been replaced by “of course,” “no problem,” or even “perfect.”

Speaking of “perfect,” my hubby and I recently dined in a restaurant where “perfect” seemed to be the word of the day.

The response to placing our orders? “Perfect!”

After requesting some water? “Perfect!”

Upon remarking that our dinner was good? “Perfect!”

After asking for the check? “Perfect!”

By the end of the meal we were fighting to keep a straight face.

That reminds me of how often I hear the term "brilliant" is used (misused? abused?) in media from the UK.
I mean, come on ... what the hell could the English know about speaking English?

 

[Mreader]

@Mreader thanks for starting this thread.
It's got me to look into this, and learn a thing or two.

More understanding on my part influences my attitude.
I already feel a bit less annoyance towards "those people".

Generations have just varied since 'secks' (((can't use that 3-letter special no-no word on PS))) has been manufacturing every replacement crop.

Certainly that's nothing new, and actually nothing over which to get one's 'knickers in a twist' if you're in the UK, or 'panties in a wad' if you're in the USA.

The guy defending it is saying it's the response to stupid statements or obvious questions - I disagree - you will get this stare just by saying "hello". The other person defending it saying she sees ppl bullying teens who had it rougher than they did - ummmm not sure about that (again Gen X was basically left to fend for themselves). Anyway I agree that it might be a bit much to be super demanding when you are asking for service from someone in a min wage job, but saying "hello" and ending with a "thank you" should not be too much to ask imho.

As a prof, I can attest to the stare as I get it in my classroom when I ask questions on the material. Also this summer when I lead study abroad, there were students who showed up SUPER late to a couple of visits - one was a museum visit where we almost missed our reservation; I had to let everyone else go in the museum and then the student texted me when they FINALLY arrived. I had to go out and get that person, beg the security guard to let them in, you get the idea. Once I did all of that I asked the student "what happened?" She just stared at me and said NOTHING. I had to ask again. She then said she overslept. Like no apology, no explanation - nothing. WTF. If I had been that student I would have been totally embarrassed and apologetic. I guess perhaps she was embarrassed and that was the reason for the silence, but it didn't come off that way. It came off as offended that I would deign to ask why she was so late she held up the entire group.

Cue "KIDS TODAY" and the shaking fist.

 

[kenny]

... By the end of the meal we were fighting to keep a straight face.

Oh, that?
I abandoned my "straight" face years ago.

 

[Matata]

Unbeknownst to me and with great surprise as I read this thread is the fact that I have attained curmudgeon-hood without fanfare, a party, a hot flash, or even a tiara.

 

[Lookinagain]

I think we all can understand where you're coming from. I pretty much put everything on my CC (paid off each month), but like
to keep a little bit of cash in my wallet for small things. And yes, you never know when you're going to come across a small business
that doesn't take CCs, so keeping some cash can save the day!

I do the same.

 

[Lookinagain]

The thing I’ve noticed about “kids these days” is their apparent aversion to saying “you’re welcome.” It seems to have been replaced by “of course,” “no problem,” or even “perfect.”

Also "no worries" seems to be used all the time.

 

[swingirl]

I very much dislike, "No problem", as if it WAS a problem and not a kindness.

 

[Mreader]

Also "no worries" seems to be used all the time.

I use these phrases all the time

 

[Lentibulariaceae]

I very much dislike, "No problem", as if it WAS a problem and not a kindness.

no worries, no problem, all of it seems to be a communication issue at it’s core.
When someone helps and you say thank you, for a while it was considered polite to say your welcome because it was, at baseline, not expected to assist someone.

No worries or no problem comes from a place of care in that it’s expected to help someone in need, and it reassures the helpee that them needing help did not mess up the helper’s day or disrupt them too much.

 

[kenny]

Also "no worries" seems to be used all the time.

My gen, Gen K, (LOL) always said, No Problem.
Now I say, no worries.

It's not that no worries really 'bothered' me.
I just gradually transitioned to no worries from hearing it so much.

No biggie.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I guess getting a response at all reassures you that the person at least acknowledged that they were spoken to at all. It is true that these little phrases do get worn out pretty quickly, and we are all probably guilty of using them to some extent.

 

[Lookinagain]

So thinking about all of the responses that have been listed, what do you think is the best response to thank you? I'm not sure. No worries, to me, just doesn't seem to be the right one. If I say "thank you" it doesn't indicate there were any worries. If I say "no problem" does it indicate that there was one? If I say "of course" what does that indicate? Now I'm really confused. I think I tend to say "no problem" or "your welcome" depending on the circumstances. I hope that I don't start doing the Gen Z stare because I don't know the right way to respond.