The fears of creating a custom ring

[gail013]

I don''t know how many of you have created a custom ring, but it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have read about some of your experiences (Cehra for sure....) and know you share my frustration. I am sure hoping there''s a happy ending, and was hoping some of you could share your stories.

I started to design a custom ring months ago, and scrapped the project as the jeweler was a pain. We then started over with a wonderful jeweler, drew out a design, I had several pics, and when I went to look at the wax last week I almost cried. It was SO not what I wanted. Wrong shape, very flat on my hand. The owner of the stores has gotten involved, and I feel he knows what I want, and I think I will get there, but is is so stressful-trying to design the perfect thing and hoping that I can love it forever. I refuse to accept something I don''t love. This is also an upgrade for our 20th anniversary, and I have wanted a new ring for years-so now''s my chance. Trying to find something different is quite the challenge. On top of all of that, we have blown way past the budget we thought would work! The pressure is on.

Knowing what I know now, I don''t think I would reccomend "custom" to many people. It''s not that I didn''t try to find something that I liked, there just wasn''t anything I thought was worthy of the large price tag, and there was nothing that was perfect. I help people design houses for a living-how can I do that, but fail to design a great ring? Ugh!

Has anyone else found this to be the case?

 

[Dee*Jay]

Gail, I SO feel you pain. The custom process scared the hell out of me, and that''s why I ultimately ended up going with the Kelege setting. Event with that I couldn''t see the exact one, so it was still a leap of faith, and I just PRAY when this thing finally comes in I don''t absolutely hate it...

But weren''t you interested in a JB Star setting? What swayed you from that route?

 

[the other Jake]

When I saw my wax I was extremely nervous... It didn''t look like what I had imagined. I went ahead with the process telling them what I wanted differently, but realizing that they were not going to make a new wax. I had it caste with the thought that if it did not turn out, I could always upgrade her ring in the future for an anniversary or something. The final product blew me away. It was not as I had imagined- it was even better! Despite all the horror custom stories you may have heard... just know that some do turn out. Maybe I was lucky, but I think that it was all worth it.

 

[the other Jake]

Just to clarify- my changes were ones that were easier to be made after the wax was caste, because it was easier to make them on the platinum then the wax. So that was their justification for not making a new one, but basically I knew I would not have anymore input until the ring was done.

 

[gail013]

Yes Dee Jay I started with a JB Star setting (good memory), but I have a 3 carat round, and that had a halo of diamonds around it, and it was bezel set. In the end, I was afraid I would be sick of it, and for some reason, large rounds with halos can sometimes look like too much-or I guess almost everyone talked me out of it.. Now I am trying to combine 3 or 4 different Rennasiance Platinum-type of settting designs. It is definitely a journey!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/7/2006 9:26:00 AM
Author:gail013
I don''t know how many of you have created a custom ring, but it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I have read about some of your experiences (Cehra for sure....) and know you share my frustration. I am sure hoping there''s a happy ending, and was hoping some of you could share your stories.

I started to design a custom ring months ago, and scrapped the project as the jeweler was a pain. We then started over with a wonderful jeweler, drew out a design, I had several pics, and when I went to look at the wax last week I almost cried. It was SO not what I wanted. Wrong shape, very flat on my hand. The owner of the stores has gotten involved, and I feel he knows what I want, and I think I will get there, but is is so stressful-trying to design the perfect thing and hoping that I can love it forever. I refuse to accept something I don''t love. This is also an upgrade for our 20th anniversary, and I have wanted a new ring for years-so now''s my chance. Trying to find something different is quite the challenge. On top of all of that, we have blown way past the budget we thought would work! The pressure is on.

Knowing what I know now, I don''t think I would reccomend ''custom'' to many people. It''s not that I didn''t try to find something that I liked, there just wasn''t anything I thought was worthy of the large price tag, and there was nothing that was perfect. I help people design houses for a living-how can I do that, but fail to design a great ring? Ugh!

Has anyone else found this to be the case?

Wow, I can''t believe I''m going to be remembered as the woman with the ring woes LOL (just teasing ) But boy, I can relate to a lot of this.... on the one hand I think I''ve designed a great ring, and by designed I really do think I''ve done all of the design work other than finding a ring with a beveled row of diamonds and having it all *click* in my head. And I think part of the problem with the design thing is that you elp OTHER people - it''s easy to give options and let go of the deciions. But when you''re the one who has to decide it''s totally different!! My problem hasn''t been deciding though, it''s been getting the jeweler to manifest it. I was all going so smoothly and now that it is detail time, and christmas crnch, I think though she denies it her patience is waning. And if I was constantly making changes I would understand it, but I go in there every week and request the SAME THINGS over and over. This stone has commanded me from the moment I saw it listed online. It gonged in my head, demanded I see it, wouldn''t let me give it back, none of the rings *I* liked worked with it and the design for the ring starts with the stone THEN goes to the prongs and head which are designed to cradle it, then to the rng which is kind of like yeah whatever, sara can have something pretty too I guess lol

For me one of the probs is that this place doesn''t do drawings or cad images first - it''s ALL done in wax... removing some here, adding some there.... and the job looks very rudimentary.. and I see these whiteflash waxes that are so freaking *crisp* it''s not even funny. But I wonder if tht''s really necessry or if WF just has an online image to uphold so they have these ultimately professional waxes.

I also wish there was a list somewhere on here hat people referred others too that had a complete list of things to ask your custom jeweler.... like, will the stone be insured, I can''t even think of other questions right now lol!! I need a list darnit!!!

Anyway, I feel your pain... some of your pain...I haven''t been going at this as long as you have.... what look are you going for?

 

[starryeyed]

I think the best protection against getting the wrong thing is to be as detailed as possible about what you want AND what you don't want. I just had a ring custom made and it came out perfectly - however, I sent the designer 4 pages of instructions!

In those 4 pages, I specified what I wanted each component of the ring to look like AND what it shouldn't look like. I sent pictures - either hand sketches or photos of other rings to explain the shank, the head, the diamond accent details, etc. I literally had two columns about what I like and what I don't like. I wanted the designer to be sensitive to things that bugged me.

When I put together the instructions, I thought, "Surely the designer is going to think I'm nuts," but in the end, he said the more info the better.

Remember also that there is the polishing process which significantly changes the appearance of the cast - the "clunkiness" disappears and you are left with something more elegant.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 12/7/2006 10:51:17 AM
Author: starryeyed
I think the best protection against getting the wrong thing is to be as detailed as possible about what you want AND what you don''t want. I just had a ring custom made and it came out perfectly - however, I sent the designer 4 pages of instructions!

In those 4 pages, I specified what I wanted each component of the ring to look like AND what it shouldn''t look like. I sent pictures - either hand sketches or photos of other rings to explain the shank, the head, the diamond accent details, etc. I literally had two columns about what I like and what I don''t like. I wanted the designer to be sensitive to things that bugged me.

When I put together the instructions, I thought, ''Surely the designer is going to think I''m nuts,'' but in the end, he said the more info the better.

Remember also that there is the polishing process which significantly changes the appearance of the cast - the ''clunkiness'' disappears and you are left with something more elegant.

I''m so sorry you are having trouble with a custom design. I had a bad experience once as well. I was not specific enough about my design and it didn''t end up turning out correctly. I ended up getting stuck with it and had to pay for it...bummmer.

Since then, I''ve gotten wiser and I have had two very successful custom jobs completed. I took an approach very similar to stayyeyed in providing information. For my wedding band, I even made a power point presentation of the details of each part of the ring, shank, head, prongs, etc. Pictures are a great way to show what you want.

I''ll keep my fingers crossed that the design turns out lovely.

 

[gail013]

Thanks to all of you, I would love to see some of the instructions that you gave out to the designers involved. Maybe I need to add my own comments to the pics. I am assuming that after I meet with the people involved that they are relaying what I want, but I can see that is the problem. The good thing is, I found the shape of the ring I want the last time we met, which is what was all wrong the first time. My salesperson said he thought we were on the right track and all I could think was oh no we''re not!

I know this is not the worst problem in life, and try to keep it in perspective. I just really want something I can be proud of, otherwise I could have bought the stock setting and been done with it. And after all the research and looking I have done, my hubbbie wants me to be happy, and probably just be done with it.

I have posted this before also, but here in Mpls there is a pitiful selection of designer settings to look at, and we all know how different things look on your hand. There is literally one store in town that sells high end designer merchandise and the range starts at about 30k and goes up to over 100k, and that''s it. The selection is very minimal. My advice to anyone else in this position would be to take a trip to a well known jewelry mecca and look at all of it in person.......

The new wax should be done soon, and depending on how that looks, I may be sending along much more detailed notes for the owner and designer to look at-

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 12/7/2006 2:52:18 PM
Author: gail013
Thanks to all of you, I would love to see some of the instructions that you gave out to the designers involved. Maybe I need to add my own comments to the pics. I am assuming that after I meet with the people involved that they are relaying what I want, but I can see that is the problem. The good thing is, I found the shape of the ring I want the last time we met, which is what was all wrong the first time. My salesperson said he thought we were on the right track and all I could think was oh no we''re not!

I know this is not the worst problem in life, and try to keep it in perspective. I just really want something I can be proud of, otherwise I could have bought the stock setting and been done with it. And after all the research and looking I have done, my hubbbie wants me to be happy, and probably just be done with it.

I have posted this before also, but here in Mpls there is a pitiful selection of designer settings to look at, and we all know how different things look on your hand. There is literally one store in town that sells high end designer merchandise and the range starts at about 30k and goes up to over 100k, and that''s it. The selection is very minimal. My advice to anyone else in this position would be to take a trip to a well known jewelry mecca and look at all of it in person.......

The new wax should be done soon, and depending on how that looks, I may be sending along much more detailed notes for the owner and designer to look at-

You are in minneapolis? Knoxjewelers.biz are located in the twin cities area. Brian knox designed a beautiful custom ring for me, it might be worth checking them out if things don''t work out with your current jeweler. He was incredible to work with, very attentive to detail and to the specifics of my ring design.

 

[kcoursolle]

I''m attaching some slides of how I presented information for my custom wedding band with whiteflash. It''s not a 100% error proof way to convey information, but it gets about as close as you can get.

Here is the first slide with general information:

 

[kcoursolle]

Here is the next slide with my diamond information:

 

[kcoursolle]

Here is the general metal, size info, etc.

 

[kcoursolle]

Here''s where I get into the specifics of the setting design:

 

[kcoursolle]

I talk about the shank design here:

 

[kcoursolle]

Finally, here''s where I talk about the prongs:

 

[kcoursolle]

And here''s what they came up with so far, props to wF!!

 

[mrssalvo]

Good luck Gail. i hope your rings meets and exceeds your expections. I for one probably won''t do custom b/c I just hate not knowing what the final thing is going to look at. The pricetag for the big designers is worth it to me b/c I know exactly what i''m getting and the exact quality of the pieces so yes, I''m paying for the name but also the quality that should come with it. I do understand that sometime the perfect setting isn''t in exsistance and sometimes custom is a must. Anyway, i truly hope your rings turns out to be the ring of your dreams.

p.s. I''m going to buy a designer ring that is already being made and I even have instuctions along with pictures to make sure it''s made exactly like i want it and it''s not even custom

..

 

[gail013]

Thank you so much kcoursolle, that is very detailed and probably what I should have done, and will do for our next look at the wax. Thanks for taking the time to post that.

Mrs Salvo- What type of setting are you getting-I can''t keep them all straight! I do agree with you, that a designer piece is worth it because in the end you know what the outcome will be. It may be a better idea to customize a designer piece. If I can''t get it right, that will be my next step. I spoke to Phillip at Renaissance Platinum, and he was very, very nice. He offered to send the settings out to me or my jeweler, but I thought I''m into this custom process now, so we''ll see how that goes. The Renaissance settings go from about 7k to 12k-about what all the designer stuff is priced at.

I did go to Knox last month when I was still on the search, and I felt although they were very nice, they kind of shooed me outta there by saying their average stone/setting was for a 1 carat. I realize that a good jeweler can do anything, but I preferred to work with someone who did more of the higher end work.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 12/7/2006 5:45:14 PM
Author: gail013
Thank you so much kcoursolle, that is very detailed and probably what I should have done, and will do for our next look at the wax. Thanks for taking the time to post that.

Mrs Salvo- What type of setting are you getting-I can''t keep them all straight! I do agree with you, that a designer piece is worth it because in the end you know what the outcome will be. It may be a better idea to customize a designer piece. If I can''t get it right, that will be my next step. I spoke to Phillip at Renaissance Platinum, and he was very, very nice. He offered to send the settings out to me or my jeweler, but I thought I''m into this custom process now, so we''ll see how that goes. The Renaissance settings go from about 7k to 12k-about what all the designer stuff is priced at.

I did go to Knox last month when I was still on the search, and I felt although they were very nice, they kind of shooed me outta there by saying their average stone/setting was for a 1 carat. I realize that a good jeweler can do anything, but I preferred to work with someone who did more of the higher end work.

This surprises me about knox, I had such an excellent experience with them. I wonder if Brian was nervous about taking on the responsibility of a large stone, how large is it by the way?? I would still recommend them for future projects. Brian was detail oriented and did excellent work.

Good luck presenting the new information to your designer, I will keep my fingers crossed that it turns out well. Try to be patient and kind with them, but don''t accept anything that isn''t what you want. You will be sorry later, from my experiences...now I''m probably over anal about the details since I had one bad experience.

 

[Cehrabehra]

hey gail - how did you "fire" your jetweler? I put a small amount down as a deposit $100 on the wax and I''m happy to walk away from that, but I feel like I owe them something more.... it feels like they put so much time into me but at the same time I feel much of it was wasted time, telling them the same things over and over again.... and it is that feeling of obligation that holds me. I really just want to back off from this and start again in january, not that things will be any calmer with valentine''s around the corner lol!!

 

[innerkitten]

be careful. I had a bad experience and it''s still not sorted out.

 

[gail013]

Cehra-

It is kind of a mess. The first jeweler encouraged me to get a wax of a JB Star ring. At that time, I wanted it, but I didn''t want the stone bezel set, and wanted some other changes. I also asked what kind of costs were incurred with a wax and he told me not to worry. Well, one thing led to another. He wanted me to buy a "N" EGL stone, and that was just the time I found this forum. He discouraged my questions and was so far out of wack pricewise with his other stones that we decided just to walk away, even though he was going to buy back my first ring we bought from him. But we realized we were just paying for that anyway, and it was no bargain. He also did not want to hear my changes, and really ignored what I wanted.. Not what I thought I needed at all!

Just recently, he sent my husband a bill for $475! I had inquired around and heard a wax was about 100-150. We had one made and that was it. After my hubbie went in and told his son it wasn''t working out, he didn''t even call us to followup. . My husband is going to talk to him and we will offer to pay something, but certainly not that. My hubbie works for a large firm near the jeweler, and all my friends who have bought there in the past know the story and are not going back. Some people so underestimate the power of word of mouth. I was feeling bad, but when he did that, I totally lost all respect for the man. And got ticked off, after all I''d invested alot of time and energy. But I believe things work out for a reason......

After all of that though, I would fire him again. I have followed your story, and I know I saw the ring you want. Where are you located? I also talked to Maytal Hoffman-she is fab, and personable as well, and really tried to help me. She is in LA, but is so easy to reach. In the end, I told her as I was so unsure of what I want, that I need to work with someone local, but that I would be back to have her design me a right hand ring. You could go that route, as I know you have a design in mind etc.

You''ve been at this for a while too, and we are spending our hard earned money. I really believe, that many custom clients are not that picky! I know you feel bad for your jeweler, as she is sick, but something''s not right there. Where are you at in the process?

My new jeweler is fantastic. Some probs getting the design down, but they have gone to the ends of the earth to make it right, and have been so fair with the pricing. If anyone needs a good jeweler in Mpls please let me know.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/8/2006 1:04:28 AM
Author: gail013
Cehra-

It is kind of a mess. The first jeweler encouraged me to get a wax of a JB Star ring. At that time, I wanted it, but I didn''t want the stone bezel set, and wanted some other changes. I also asked what kind of costs were incurred with a wax and he told me not to worry. Well, one thing led to another. He wanted me to buy a ''N'' EGL stone, and that was just the time I found this forum. He discouraged my questions and was so far out of wack pricewise with his other stones that we decided just to walk away, even though he was going to buy back my first ring we bought from him. But we realized we were just paying for that anyway, and it was no bargain. He also did not want to hear my changes, and really ignored what I wanted.. Not what I thought I needed at all!

Just recently, he sent my husband a bill for $475! I had inquired around and heard a wax was about 100-150. We had one made and that was it. After my hubbie went in and told his son it wasn''t working out, he didn''t even call us to followup. . My husband is going to talk to him and we will offer to pay something, but certainly not that. My hubbie works for a large firm near the jeweler, and all my friends who have bought there in the past know the story and are not going back. Some people so underestimate the power of word of mouth. I was feeling bad, but when he did that, I totally lost all respect for the man. And got ticked off, after all I''d invested alot of time and energy. But I believe things work out for a reason......

After all of that though, I would fire him again. I have followed your story, and I know I saw the ring you want. Where are you located? I also talked to Maytal Hoffman-she is fab, and personable as well, and really tried to help me. She is in LA, but is so easy to reach. In the end, I told her as I was so unsure of what I want, that I need to work with someone local, but that I would be back to have her design me a right hand ring. You could go that route, as I know you have a design in mind etc.

You''ve been at this for a while too, and we are spending our hard earned money. I really believe, that many custom clients are not that picky! I know you feel bad for your jeweler, as she is sick, but something''s not right there. Where are you at in the process?

My new jeweler is fantastic. Some probs getting the design down, but they have gone to the ends of the earth to make it right, and have been so fair with the pricing. If anyone needs a good jeweler in Mpls please let me know.

wow, see in your situation I would not just walk - or run - I would be miffed!! I''m not miffed at my jeweler, I feel guilty.... but dissatisfied. The store in general - they produce quality work but I don''t think I''ll get the exquisite that I wanted. The owner, several times, has made comments like, "I''ve never had someone specify what shape they wanted their prongs tips to be" and he says it with a smile and a "I''m happy to accommodate you" attitude, but I''m thinking.... am I your guinea pig? The jeweler *I* am working with *has* dealt with these details but my design really is unique and there''s some kind of head block she''s having.... I said on day one I wanted a swag on each side - two in Vs and two in Us and I wanted the shanks to go UNDER the Us.... well the first version that the *first* jeweler did had none on the sides, and then they just cut it down and then they *barely* cu out a little lip and I reiterated that I wanted all 4 to be the same size - so she made the Vs smaller which was actually nice but again I''m like the Us should be the same size, so they got a little bigger - maybe half the size and I''m like okay just trying to get a freaking detail for where the shank hits the head has taken a MONTH. I even took in clay and *showed* it - finally I asked her if I could have the exacto blade and I made like I was gonna cut a big chunk out (but didn''t) and said - you just have to cut in here and finally the light went off... but then she made it a roll sitting on a ledge sitting on the shank - too far LOL It''s really not complicated - irina knew what I was talking about based on 5 words and one photo LOL!!!!!!! I''ve also told her like oh - a hundred times - that I want the prongs to intersect BELOW the gridle.... and right now they do but then she tells me it''ll be set another mm lower and I''m like - then it will be on the girdle. And it''s reached a grand ol'' height now of I think 8.5mm and I really not only want but think it will be fine at 7mm. 5mm for the stone, 1mm for clearance (thought I''d prefer 1/2mm if it can be swung) and 1mm for metal thickness at the thinnest point under the diamond. Anyway, I digress.... I''m really appreciate what they''ve done, because they in many ways manifested these ideas in a way I don''t know if a distance jeweler could have. On the other hand, there were some details I am *not* sure about and was hoping for input and have really not gotten much

Sorry - didn''t mean to go on and on....

I know I want a custom ring if only for the head because I haven''t found a stock head that would work with this diamond - that I liked. I really want the 8 prongs. And I love the way the prongs will frame the 8 main crown facets, and I love the mirrored bowl under the stone... and I love the melee set at a 45* angle... I just want this ring!!!

 

[gail013]

It''s funny Cehra, I have looked at many of the pics you have posted, and I think you and I want alot of the same things. My new jeweler told me that most people really don''t know what they want, and are just happy with whatever comes out. I guess with knowledge, also comes a great deal of pickiness! I am doing a scallop of diamonds under the crown and that is one of the things they got right, and I want leon prongs, not big stubby ones. I have many other specifics and just like you, they are minute details that are important to me.

I would not feel bad about taking a break. Even tho they are trying it is not working. This is not fun for you anymore, and it should be. They may not know how to tell you they can''t do what you want. Do you know who makes your inspiration ring-I know I saw it someplace, just can''t remember where....

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/8/2006 10:33:36 AM
Author: gail013
It''s funny Cehra, I have looked at many of the pics you have posted, and I think you and I want alot of the same things. My new jeweler told me that most people really don''t know what they want, and are just happy with whatever comes out. I guess with knowledge, also comes a great deal of pickiness! I am doing a scallop of diamonds under the crown and that is one of the things they got right, and I want leon prongs, not big stubby ones. I have many other specifics and just like you, they are minute details that are important to me.

I would not feel bad about taking a break. Even tho they are trying it is not working. This is not fun for you anymore, and it should be. They may not know how to tell you they can''t do what you want. Do you know who makes your inspiration ring-I know I saw it someplace, just can''t remember where....

I was thinking about this a bit ago and decided that I am going to tell them that I need a break - that this is stressing me out too much and I want to enjoy the rest of this month without thinking about the ring.... and something you said earlier really sounded with me... I keep thinking about the time THEY''VE put into this - but what about the time *I* have put into this as well?? Makes it seem pretty much like a wash to me after all! As long as I keep valuing MY time that is lol!!

I can''t wait to see your ring!! Do you have any pics or wax or inspiration pics? Post ''em!! As for mine... I have no idea who does the originals - if there really is anyone - I know I found BOTH of them on a cheapo site with poorly made stuff that one time, but I remind myself that those are just ideas and my finished product better look one hell of a lot better than that!!!!! There is actually 2 "inspiration rings" though only one of them inspired me LOL The one with the slanted rows of diamonds and the matte metal band between them.... but then I found a ring with similar twisty prong things to mine AFTER I had my idea, so I consider that too even though they''re more like double prongs or single double sized prongs.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 12/8/2006 1:04:28 AM
Author: gail013
Cehra-

It is kind of a mess. The first jeweler encouraged me to get a wax of a JB Star ring. At that time, I wanted it, but I didn''t want the stone bezel set, and wanted some other changes. I also asked what kind of costs were incurred with a wax and he told me not to worry. Well, one thing led to another. He wanted me to buy a ''N'' EGL stone, and that was just the time I found this forum. He discouraged my questions and was so far out of wack pricewise with his other stones that we decided just to walk away, even though he was going to buy back my first ring we bought from him. But we realized we were just paying for that anyway, and it was no bargain. He also did not want to hear my changes, and really ignored what I wanted.. Not what I thought I needed at all!

okay what''s the story on this.... you already had your 3 carat diamond right? or was this before you bought it? An "N" huh? I could be happy with an N, but only if I wanted an N LOL Not if I wanted a D or something!!!

 

[gail013]

I have had a few diamonds-originally I was looking at the N with jeweler #1, then when I really looked at it (because at first I was so thrilled I could find a 3 carat that was in the budget), I realized it was an ugly stone. So then I bought a 3 carat from WF, but it had a big inclusion in the table and I decided I couldn''t be happy with that, and then I eventually ended up with a beautiful 3 carat "J", eye-clean SI2, from the local jeweler, who was willing to match or beat any internet pricing I found, and they also took all the stress off of me, and found the stone in 2 days by calling all over the country. Imagine that, someone who was willing to do the work for me,. at a decent price. I realized at that moment, just how much time and energy I had been putting into the whole process, and yes some of it is fun, but at a point I just wanted to be the customer and have someone help me. I spend my days doing the work for my customers, and I was really hoping I could have someone treat me as their customer and I have found that now I hope.

Yes your time is worth something. You know it''s OK to feel bad, but is it worth living with a ring that you don''t like? I don''t think so. I felt that way when I fired my first hair dresser, and went to someone in the same salon, and that was hard. But I thought, I wear my hair everyday and it is not worth looking less than great just because I don''t want to hurt someones feelings.

I will post pics when I get them!