TGal, how is your IVF friend?

[trillionaire]

aw, what a blessing! Times THREE!!!

I don''t know her, but a warm and hearty congrats!

And some serious sticky beans!!!

(one for each kid!)

Hope she has at least one boy and one girl!

 

[neatfreak]

Ohhheeee. She''s going to be busy!!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Wow? is right. I was talking to her and it just hasn''t really registered for everyone. Part of me is so sad for her...she''s waited so long and now is going to have a risky pregnancy with almost a definite chance of having preemies. The worry level has just gone through the roof.

Her DH was happy. She said she bawled in the office. Still, when I talked to her, it sounded like her sense of humor had returned. No wonder she has been so horrifically sick.

 

[TravelingGal]

Oh and I should say I am not sure what her mother is going to do...her sister, after trying for 3 years is head of her in the IVF procedure by 2 months. She is pregnant with TWINS. Their mother is going to be a grandmom of FIVE KIDS only 2 months apart.

 

[TravelingGal]

Ugh, the more I think about it, the more I''m scared for her. Her DH works 6 days a week (they own a very successful business), and leave for work at 4 am and comes home at 7 pm. His parents are not in the best health to help. Her mom won''t be able to help as much. Oh goodness, what is she going to do. Maybe I should help offer to raise them?

 

[hlmr]

Date: 7/17/2009 2:52:56 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, she called me and she sounded like death warmed over.

Triplets.

(first reaction)

Congratulations to her and her hubby!!! (second thought)

Well, it certainly will mean an instant family for her, and she won''t ever have to go through this again, right?!? (third)

(back to first reaction)

Gosh TGal, she must be in shock right now. Knowing there is a chance of triplets, is hardly enough preparation for when you are told there are three! Is she a healthy lady in general TGal? Do you think her body can handle this?

I hope she will be okay, she will need to take extra special care of herself. I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and send her lots of healthy, sticky bean vibes!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/17/2009 3:14:37 PM
Author: hlmr

Date: 7/17/2009 2:52:56 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, she called me and she sounded like death warmed over.

Triplets.

(first reaction)

Congratulations to her and her hubby!!! (second thought)

Well, it certainly will mean an instant family for her, and she won''t ever have to go through this again, right?!? (third)

(back to first reaction)

Gosh TGal, she must be in shock right now. Knowing there is a chance of triplets, is hardly enough preparation for when you are told there are three! Is she a healthy lady in general TGal? Do you think her body can handle this?

I hope she will be okay, she will need to take extra special care of herself. I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and send her lots of healthy, sticky bean vibes!!!

She''s not the healthiest person. Prone to getting sick. She''s about 5''2" and very slim/petite. I am not sure how her body will carry three.

She''s feels a little resentful (for lack of a better word) that she wanted only two put in but the doc and her DH persuaded her to transfer 3. My opinion (which I think I told her a few weeks ago in casual conversation) was to take a chance and put in two because if three took it was going to rock the boat in too big a way. But I think the fear of transferring only two and not having either stick was a scarier prospect after all these years of infertility. I did joke with her that I wish we could have used her sister as an indication (implanted with 2, now pregnant with twin) of how well their family members would take to IVF.

I''m going to stop by later today. I just had ordered all those books yesterday for her but now need to research books on multiples.

 

[hlmr]

She would be able to have a mother''s helper come in to help with the babies though, right?

Their Mom will be in grandchild heaven, and the sisters will be able to support each other plus their children will all grow up together!!

 

[hlmr]

I''m sorry to hear she is prone to being sick, and her doctor definitely should have taken that into consideration when pushing to transfer three.

It is amazing sometimes though, how the petite pregnant mothers carry, and give birth more easily than a larger framed woman. She will have a positive attitude about it I''ll bet, and that will help her get through as well.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/17/2009 3:22:05 PM
Author: hlmr
She would be able to have a mother's helper come in to help with the babies though, right?

Their Mom will be in grandchild heaven, and the sisters will be able to support each other plus their children will all grow up together!!

That is a perk for sure...she just has to get through the pregnancy and those early months...and toddlerhood too!

Fortunately, they should be able to afford help. They are well off. Her sister and BIL, not so much...he makes very little money as he tries for med school and she is a hairstylist who is not working now, and therefore not getting paid. So because of that, I think their mother will be helping my friend's sister and my friend will have to hire help.

I might have to talk to my husband and see if there are a couple of nights a week I can go over to help. Fortunately Amelia goes down early enough that I can go do that.

 

[hlmr]

Even having them all together as toddlers will be nice (and lots of craziness too)!!

You are a good friend TGal.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/17/2009 3:34:34 PM
Author: hlmr
Even having them all together as toddlers will be nice (and lots of craziness too)!!

You are a good friend TGal.

Thanks. Doesn''t stop me from feeling totally helpless.

 

[neatfreak]

TGal: Some resources for her. My favorite book about multiples (many are all sunshine and rainbows about whether you should dress your kids alike or not) is When you're expecting twins, triplets, or quads by Dr. Barbara Luke.

And there is a website called Triplet Connection (link): http://www.tripletconnection.org/

Lots of good info in both those books. Most important thing is for her to find a MFM who is well versed in higher order pregnancies and is someone your friend can trust.

I know I only have twins but you know I am as well researched as they come so you can feel free to get in contact with me and I can give her my info if you'd like if she has any questions.

 

[AmberWaves]

Tgal, I understand your concern. My cousin is a SAHM, with three sets of twins- the first set are two (she had an emergency hysterectomy with them), the other two sets are/will be born this year via surrogates. My aunt helps to take care of those kids, and my other cousin's kids, one of which was also just born a few months ago. My cousin lives in the OC, and she REALLY recommends anyone expecting multiples find herself some multiples groups. My cousin with the trio of twins found herself a little family of multiples mommies and daddies- they were a huge support during pregnancy (5 months of bedrest)and after the birth, not to mention the stressful times with the recent sets.

Wish your friend luck!

 

[Mara]

wow...that is crazy!!! on the plus side she will only have to do it once!

is there any way that she can get her hub to start cutting back on what he is doing so that he is around to help her more?? that is one of my pre-req's before we have kids...i am not going to be raising a kid on my own, no way no how, while dad is off working. i'd rather not have kids then. but i laid that all out ahead of time hehee. and yes three will be crazy, triple stroller! but i'm sure she'll make it work. people do it all the time...!! best wishes for her TG.

 

[TravelingGal]

Thanks Amber and NF. I will look into those books and groups in the area. My friend is not at all into research and does seem to come to me with general questions. I think she''s going to have to get into a bit of research now!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/17/2009 4:10:53 PM
Author: Mara
wow...that is crazy!!! on the plus side she will only have to do it once!

is there any way that she can get her hub to start cutting back on what he is doing so that he is around to help her more?? that is one of my pre-req''s before we have kids...i am not going to be raising a kid on my own, no way no how, while dad is off working. i''d rather not have kids then. but i laid that all out ahead of time hehee. and yes three will be crazy, triple stroller! but i''m sure she''ll make it work. people do it all the time...!! best wishes for her TG.

Unfortunately Mara, he cannot. He and his brother run this company and it feeds 4 families - my friend''s, her BIL''s, her other BIL''s family who I believe is in prison so that family has no income, and her parents in law. It''s a huge burden and a hand''s on business. Which is why I am having a hard time understanding why her DH and the doc would encourage her to put in 3, but what''s done is done.

 

[Mara]

hmm that is risky....not sure i would have been so keen to sign up for the potential of 3 then, but i guess if you have been trying for years, the emotions and knowing potential risks on not doing it a bit ''over'' would get to you. and she is small, poor girl!!! i am sure whatever support and advice you can give her will be so helpful TG.

 

[lili]

oh wow...congrats to your friend.

 

[drk]

Wow. I'm glad she's pg, but triplets would be a huge worry for me too. I'd have been crying like she was - I'd rather have my one little baby! Did she transfer 3 on day 5? It will be nice for her to have her sis have multiples close in age to hers - and if they're 2-3 months ahead, she should get a fair number of hand-me-down clothes!

I'm surprised the docs haven't sat her and DH down to have the standard selective reduction talk. I had that talk with my old RE before our last IUI where I had a bunch of follicles developing. I also had that talk with my new RE when we were initially talking about how many blasts to transfer. He pretty much said I'd have to not be totally against it for them to consider transferring 3, as higher order multiples is considered an IVF failure these days. One's the goal, twins borderline ok. Nature might reduce one of the babies on its own anyhow, as she's still fairly early on in the game. Another friend of mine who did IVF a few days after I did was initially pregnant with twins, but has lost one already at under 6 weeks. It's a tough situation all around.

I sure hope that if her DH won't be around to help her out at home, that he'll hire a nanny to help her look after the babies.

I'm still blown away by the crazy news!
Kate

 

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 7/17/2009 6:08:22 PM
Author: drk
Wow. I''m glad she''s pg, but triplets would be a huge worry for me too. I''d have been crying like she was - I''d rather have my one little baby! Did she transfer 3 on day 5? It will be nice for her to have her sis have multiples close in age to hers - and if they''re 2-3 months ahead, she should get a fair number of hand-me-down clothes!

I''m surprised the docs haven''t sat her and DH down to have the standard selective reduction talk. I had that talk with my old RE before our last IUI where I had a bunch of follicles developing. I also had that talk with my new RE when we were initially talking about how many blasts to transfer. He pretty much said I''d have to not be totally against it for them to consider transferring 3, as higher order multiples is considered an IVF failure these days. One''s the goal, twins borderline ok. Nature might reduce one of the babies on its own anyhow, as she''s still fairly early on in the game. Another friend of mine who did IVF a few days after I did was initially pregnant with twins, but has lost one already at under 6 weeks. It''s a tough situation all around.

I sure hope that if her DH won''t be around to help her out at home, that he''ll hire a nanny to help her look after the babies.

I''m still blown away by the crazy news!
Kate

u took all the words right out of my mouth (i guess its bc we are familiar with ivf process

)

first

as well and congrats
but i am also shocked that doc suggested3! if its not a secret can i ask how old she is?

 

[TravelingGal]

She is 36. She did sign a statement she would consider selective abortion and he did bring it up today. But I don''t think it''s something she wants to do. She transferred 3 on day 3.

I just came back from a visit and she is feeling a bit better. I think it is helping to talk about game plans. We all think it''s early on the game and it is possible that all three may not continue to develop so she is not going to stress for a few more weeks.

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts and words!!

 

[drk]

That sounds like the most reasonable thing to do for now - wait and see how things progress. Then if things are still really overwhelming, and she''s had time to weigh the risks and benefits, she and her DH could consider SR if they need to at that point.
How overwhelming!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/17/2009 10:45:18 PM
Author: drk
That sounds like the most reasonable thing to do for now - wait and see how things progress. Then if things are still really overwhelming, and she''s had time to weigh the risks and benefits, she and her DH could consider SR if they need to at that point.
How overwhelming!

No freaking kidding. It''s nearly 1am, and I''m sitting here reading the triplets forum that NF posted. Oh my god. I can''t even begin to fathom all the stuff that she will need and how hard it is to get some of it. I mean, where can you go test out triple decker strollers? So I''m sitting here bleary eyed and researching and learning about triplets.

I''m going to start a binder for her of triplet products. Put sections like strollers, cribs, and whatever stuff multiples need. That I can weed through reviews and then give her the binder so she can look at what choices are out there.

And triplet strollers are SO ugly!

This (my friend) is a woman who loves CUTE. I think I''ll just do the research for now, just in case she all three babies do great, but keep the info to myself for awhile so she isn''t overwhelmed. I mean, *I* wanted to cry when I saw pics of these triplet strollers. I can''t imagine how she''d feel.

But thanks for the links and suggestions. So much to research...carseats and even CARS. Good thing I love a project!!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 7/18/2009 4:01:52 AM
Author: TravelingGal

And triplet strollers are SO ugly!

This (my friend) is a woman who loves CUTE. I think I''ll just do the research for now, just in case she all three babies do great, but keep the info to myself for awhile so she isn''t overwhelmed. I mean, *I* wanted to cry when I saw pics of these triplet strollers. I can''t imagine how she''d feel.

She''s going to need to get over that really quickly! With multiples it is allllll about function and I can imagine even more so with triplets...

 

[hlmr]

I''m not surprised you are still awake TG. Don''t stress, there will be plenty of time to research. My girlfriend has a triple stroller (twin two year olds, plus a one year old). I don''t remember it being too ugly, I will have to ask her what kind it is.

 

[icekid]

Wow, triplets..... how overwhelming! Especially given her job situation. I don''t think it will be possible to work those hours with triplets on the way. Premature labor is very common in resident physicians (who work crazy hours.) I truly hope everything works out for her!

You are such a sweet friend, Tgal, for already starting in on the research for your friend.

 

[nycbkgirl]

well just a note about strollers:...i have twins and i searched for the best and cutest stroller..and found it and loooove it..and it also comes in triple

but it is a pretty penny buy worth it imo...i have the peg perego duetter and it comes in triple..check it out...

linky http://www.pegperego.com/page.php?sid=90df6bf887bb963e380bbd53a0ef7669&pageid=UJVNL001&idf=05&idp=0000000201&cl=N

it has a steering wheel

and soooo easy to maneuver

 

[TravelingGal]

Thanks all!

icekid, those hours are her hubby''s, not hers. She doesn''t have to work, although she does work part time for her sister''s FIL who is a doctor.

nyc, I checked out that stroller last night...one big problem. The triple weighs in at 45 pounds!!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Wow, triplets! I''ll definitely be praying for her health, the babies health, and their sanity when the babies arrive.

What a good friend, doing research for her. I''m sure she''s overwhelmed with everything right now (who wouldn''t be??) and having someone do a little bit of the leg work is awesome!