Teeth!

[Kaleigh]

Oh thank god you have an appointment for later today. Good luck and let us know what the dentist says. I am so happy you are getting this taken care of finally!!!

 

[movie zombie]

Mine, i''m so thankful you have the appointment! please let us know how it goes!

all i can say is: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.....on behalf of everyone who cares about you, including us pricescopers.

peace, movie zombie

 

[FireGoddess]

Please let us know how it goes. I am VERY glad you decided to do something about this...seriously. Nobody likes to go the doctor, especially if they''re scared something bad could happen, and particularly moreso when you''re worried about being able to even afford it. I am glad you have found a solution that works for you. As everyone has said, your FI clearly loves you and would never want something devastating to happen to you for what, lack of $2000??? Of course not.

Sometimes I think people can blow things out of proportion...citing crazy "what ifs" that are not likely to happen. But in your case, your situation as you described it had definitely progressed to the point where, if left untreated, bad bad things could happen. I''m glad you found a way to get to the doctor, and am also glad for whatever you read or heard or saw that convinced you that you really needed to go ASAP. I hope everything works out well. {{fingers crossed}}

 

[MINE!!]

Yeh, I went to the dentist.. He said that it needed to be pulled 4 years ago... but he understood that I couldn't. He reffered me to an oral surgeon who was nice enough to let me know that it would only cost 1600.. (nice huh?

)

Talked to the fiance today... He was upset.. as I knew he would be.... But I also went to the Dr.s today for other things and found out bad news that was a little worse than the tooth.. Need an ultrasound and some work.. so that is going to send up through the roof if I do not have insurance. I will spare you the details...

So I suppose that when it rains it pours. So I guess that we are going to go to the JOP to get married somtime within the next few weeks... at least that is what he is suggesting. I know that I should be happy.. he is extremely worried.. Thinks I am going to die..LOL.. I love my man. The Dentist said that .. no I wasn't going to die or get sick...and my other teeth look very healthy.. according to the X-rays and the exam. He said I had an infection but it did not look like it was that bad yet. He..LOL... he even brought in his partner and some of his nurses to look at my tooth cause he could not bielive that I was there and not screaming in pain.

So he wrote me some pres for antibotics and painkillers and sent me on my merry way... with the recommendation of course that I not let this slide any longer and that I get some insurance pronto.

So fiance wants to get married. Married and not ready to find a place to live together, married and not doin this right... married because of an infection... ugh...

Thank you everyone.. I am trying so hard not to have a case of the guilts.. first time I got married.. it was because of was pregnant... second time it is for an extraction... I'm a good one...

 

[FireGoddess]

I think you need to let go of this guilt thing...it's not like your FI proposed to you because you needed a tooth pulled. He loves you and wants to marry you no matter what!! So this medical situation pushes up the timetable and tilts the situation towards a JOP wedding. It's not like you can't have a reception or ceremony or party later when the cash flow is better! I take it you would be eligible to go on his insurance once you're married?

The JOP makes it legal. How you choose to celebrate your union is really what matters. My BIL and SIL wanted to get married abroad and couldn't get all the paperwork ready in time (long story). She was a little upset cuz this meant having a JOP legal ceremony before the trip and then going to get "married" on the trip. In reality, did this diminish her wedding celebration aboad? Of course not. She still celebrates her wedding day as the one abroad. As well, you can invite some close friends and family to the JOP ceremony and have a kickass party later...when your tooth is better and you're 100%. What matters is that you love each other and he clearly cares for you so much. It just takes a little change of attitude towards the whole thing.

ETA: I just wanted to add...we had a cost-conscious wedding that still had 250 guests...and it went by so fast...do you know the things that I most remember (and cherish)???....getting my nails done with my girlfriends...having some friends and family around at a small bridal shower...making googly eyes with my new husband in our hotel room after the wedding...not much from the actual ceremony and reception though. It goes by in such a fast whirlwind that for me, the memories surrounding the actual thing are more vivid than the thing itself. Just my experience.

 

[eks6426]

I am glad that you got to the dentist so that you know your options and also to make sure it wasn''t life threatening. Your fiance''s idea of just getting married sounds smart. You were planning on it anyway so it is not at all like you guilted him into it. But I do understand your emotions of not having it done the way you planned. Maybe you can think of the idea that you would have 2 days to celebrate. How far off was your planned wedding?

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 6/16/2005 5:21:19 PM
Author: MINE!!
second time it is for an extraction... I''m a good one...

Well, I''ve always believed in the tooth fairy.

And, like mentioned before, you were getting married before any of this tooth mess came up. Please believe that you ARE worthy, especially in the eyes of your babies & your husband to be.

 

[Mara]

no more feeling sorry for yourself, get the health stuff fixed, do the JOP thing, count your blessings you found a wonderful man who puts you first (when he knows about the situ that is!), and then do a second wedding or a honeymoon or something later when you can, maybe on one year anniversary you can renew your vows with a party. Really, life is all about what you make it..and sometimes it throws you these curveballs. Just get what needs to be done DONE, and then get on with your new life!! good luck.

 

[movie zombie]

Mine, you can have still have the wedding in 6 months! we know a couple that got married in an april and didn''t have ''the wedding'' until september. this is not a usual thing, but its also not unusual in this day and age.

it sounds like this time you wanted to do ''things right''....but you know what?! it is right whenever you do it. its really nice to have a fairy tale wish for the wedding but we don''t live in fairy tales, do we?

and of course he''s worried! you''ve withheld vital...and i do mean vital...information from him.

you may disappointed in all this but how would you feel if you put off the tooth for 6 months and then had to cancel the wedding ''cause your tooth put you into an emergency situation or your face was swollen to twice its size due to infection?

a JOP wedding doesn''t mean it can''t be romantic. here''s an idea: before you get the license, see if you can find yourself a person that has met the court criteria to perform weddings. lots of people become universal life ministers and get court approved. find someone you like. get your licesense...and then get married somewhere special: a favorite restaurant, under a tree in a park, at the side of a lake, etc. make it special for you.

peace, movie zombie

 

[Kaleigh]

I just want to say thank god you are getting this taken care of, and I don''t blame your fiance for being upset. You didn''t tell him the truth about your pain and suffering. He wants the best for you and wants you to be healthy so you can have a long and happy life together. If he didn''t tell you about something he was suffering from, I''m sure you would be upset too. You are going to marry this wonderful man whether it be a JOP ceremony, or something else. You can always have a party to celebrate your union at a later date. Stop with the guilt thing, it''s not helping you or your future husband.

 

[Lorelei]

Again these ladies have given you great advice Mine. Please don''t feel guilty about it all, you did what you thought was best at the time, but with health issues it is always best to tell your SO, I know we never want to worry them, but we need to be honest . I have given up trying to keep my health issues from DH, he always knows if I am in pain due to my back problems. I know from a guys point of view he would rather know what is going on. Also he is my very best friend and he too has got angry with me if I haven''t been straight with him. I wish you a speedy recovery with your health problems, get yourself taken care of and embrace your new life healthier and a little wiser than you were. You do have many positive things to look forward too and a lovely family. As for the wedding itself, the other ladies here have some great ideas. Further proof that a wedding does not make a marriage, my dear Father sold his Harley Davidson motorbike to marry my Mother, to have some money to rent somewhere to live and they had 52 happy years together. I am sure whatever you choose to do, your wedding will be wonderful.

Good Luck!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/16/2005 5:21:19 PM
Author: MINE!!

So fiance wants to get married. Married and not ready to find a place to live together, married and not doin this right... married because of an infection... ugh...

Thank you everyone.. I am trying so hard not to have a case of the guilts.. first time I got married.. it was because of was pregnant... second time it is for an extraction... I''m a good one...

MINE!.......this isn''t true. The extraction isn''t the reason you''re getting married.....it''s simply the reason you''re getting married NOW...sooner than later.

If it weren''t for the pregnancy, you likely wouldn''t have married the first time. However, in this case, if it weren''t for the extraction, you''d still be getting married.

Therefore, you''re not getting married "because of the extraction".....you are getting married because of how you feel for one another, and you''re simply moving it up. That doesn''t mean you aren''t "doing it right"......tons of folks get married in a quiet civil ceremony because cash is tight, and they have a larger "party" six months later? Is that "not right", too? There is no *sole* "right way"......the right way is whatever works for you.

 

[MINE!!]

I just wanted to say thanks again. I appreciate everyone''s concern. We are still going to have the church ceromony next May... so that will be good. We are going to have a hard time next Month. We are going to go to the JOP and have to find a place to live and then move us both in BEFORE the 1st of August. We had planned on waiting to buy a house. .. but we are not ready to do that yet and our places are WAY TOO SMALL for 2 adults and 2 Children. But because of immagration, he is not allowed to be married and live seperately from his wife.. Which I can understand why they look down on this.

So I am planning on getting some tests run and an ultrasound in about 2 weeks and the extraction done sometime at the end of the month...

He is not going to let me wear the pretty matching bands that he bought with the ering though... he is going to make me wait till MAy for those...LOL...

He really is a good man. He worries too much though and we both wanted to get some sort of marriage councseling before we got married. Not because we have problems... but because we have both been married before and thought that it would not hurt... I suppose we are going to do this the other way around..

But anyway!! Thanks again.. you all are wonderful!

 

[yellowfan]

Mine,

you deserve this and its going to work out for you and your soon to be hubby