taking the romance out of e-ring shopping? Views please!

[mani5ha]

When I discovered this site, I was sure that buying from an online PS vendor was the way to go. Since this, my bf has been talking to some people who have said that buying a diamond online is taking the romance out of it (i.e. talking about pavillion angles etc), and he''s convinced that you have to see the diamond before you buy it.

I know that his money would probably go furthest with vendors such as WF, GOG ERD etc. But I don''t think he''s convinced! Some people have mentioned that when they see a diamond it "speaks to them" and they know it''s the one. Obviously buying online this wouldnt happen........

What are your views?!

 

[yssie]

In a word, NO, it does not take the romance out of Ering shopping. It can never be unromantic to do your homework before any big purchase, and as a couple get the best that you can, much as some persist in believing otherwise

Buy the WF stone, buy an in-house or IGI of the same "grade" from the mall (with a return policy!), show them to your BF and see which one "speaks to him"..



Maybe as a compromise you can buy the best diamond you can find, and he can surprise you with the setting? I know you had some ideas - maybe you can leave it to him to bring them to fruition?

 

[clgwli]

I have bought quite a lot of jewelry and gems online. Not just speaking of diamonds though, but I will say it is entirely possible to have a stone "speak" to you via pictures and video. The last purchase of mine was one of those where the setting spoke to me and the best view I had of the center stone was at an angle but it was beautiful. After taking it to my two local and trusted jewelers, they both agreed that I found a beauty that has a lot of fire and life to it.

So honestly you can entirely fall in love with a setting and even stone via pictures online. In fact my original engagement ring was an amethyst set in platinum. That stone through multiple pictures just made me fall in love with it. It has since been scratched deeply on the table but otherwise still a lovely stone (but why I don''t wear it). That was about 12 years ago when I am sure many people wouldn''t have even thought of buying online.

I think getting the most for your money is romantic because I am one who wants value as well as quality! I''d rather spend less for better quality when it comes to major purchases.

 

[jet2ks]

The romance is in the relationship and the proposal, not the purchase of a ring--when you combine large ticket purchases and emotions there will be nothing but trouble. Buying the ring is a business transaction, nothing else, and the goal should be to get the most for your money.

I don't know what type of things he is into, but how about this for a comparison. Buying a ring based on just looking and waiting for it to "speak to you" is like buying a car because it looks good on the lot, without knowing anything about the engine, transmission, options and safety features. Sounds like a good way to get ripped off and end up with a lemon. What buying online with the right specs allows is to find the car that not only looks good, but will also perform well.

I agree that maybe a good way is to buy a top notch stone from one of the online vendors and then take and compare it to what you could get for the same money in person. There would be no comparison.

EDT: Seeing Dr. Marchant will be a great experience. Hopefully seeing the difference with his own eyes will convince him that a better cut stone is worth it.

 

[mani5ha]

clgwli Ah thanks.. You''re right its not unromantic, and funny how the B&M stores are the ones that say it.... i am convinced that seeing pictures of a diamond and seeing the certs, proportions etc are enough to convince me that it''s a great stone. I remember the first time I saw the octavia stone, that certainly spoke to me! lol

I am going to see an Infinity diamond tomorrow in London with Dr. Indira Merchant! I think this will help me to show my bf what an ideal cut stone looks like, i dont think he''s seen one before in alll of the B&M stores that we''ve been in!

Yssie - yep I could totally buy the stone myself and he basically knows what i want... however he is saying he''s taken the whole thing upon himself now so i''ll have to see what happens........ i just hope he doesnt end up getting ripped off because in the UK its a lot harder to find great ideal cut stones at a good price and i''d sooo rather get more bang for my buck!!!!

 

[mani5ha]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:12:08 PM
Author: jet2ks
The romance is in the relationship and the proposal, not the purchase of a ring--when you combine large ticket purchases and emotions there will be nothing but trouble. Buying the ring is a business transaction, nothing else, and the goal should be to get the most for your money.

I don''t know what type of things he is into, but how about this for a comparison. Buying a ring based on just looking and waiting for it to ''speak to you'' is like buying a car because it looks good on the lot, without knowing anything about the engine, transmission, options and safety features. Sounds like a good way to get ripped off and end up with a lemon. What buying online with the right specs allows is to find the car that not only looks good, but will also perform well.

I agree that maybe a good way is to buy a top notch stone from one of the online vendors and then take and compare it to what you could get for the same money in person. There would be no comparison.

Good advice - and I used this analogy - his response was... You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it! I live in UK and ordering a stone and returning it would surely be quite a costly purchase?........

 

[pancake]

Depends on the individual, really. My view is that the special part is the relationship, and the ring is just a symbol of that. That said, I have a very particular way of dressing and presenting myself, and if I'm going to wear this "symbol" every day then I want it to be a reflection of my personal style.

That translates to me choosing most of the details, with my partner alongside of course! This works well for us as I am the more obsessional half Personally I also don't feel the proposal is that important, since in my situation I know we will end up married anyway (otherwise why talk about it and look for a ring?) - ultimately the decision to marry is the most exciting part and I don't feel the "being asked" bit is important.

ETA: A stone can "speak to you" without seeing it in person. I wasn't convinced until I started the process myself. After a bit of looking, one particular stone is "speaking to me" via emails at the moment and I am just waiting to see another one to compare it to. Then I will see which "speaks to me more", lol

 

[jet2ks]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:15:11 PM
Author: mani5ha

Good advice - and I used this analogy - his response was... You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it! I live in UK and ordering a stone and returning it would surely be quite a costly purchase?........

Actually this is good. My response is--He is right, that is why there is a 30day return window, to really test drive the diamond, not just walk around it in the showroom. A real diamond "test drive" will involve taking out to different lighting conditions and making sure that it performs well in all of them.

To continue the car analogy, would he test drive every single car on the lot, or just test drive the ones whose specs for style, size, engine, transmission, etc. match the specs he had in mind when shopping? The C''s, angles and proportions are the specs of the diamond. Does he feel confident that he knows enough about diamonds to look at the specs and decide whether it is worth test driving or just a waste of time? Also, if he found a car he wanted to buy and someone was offering an identical vehicle for sale on the internet for 25% less with a 30 day money back guarantee, what would he do?

You know him best, so will know how far you can push. My suggestion is to plant the seed of the importance of finding a well cut diamond, which you have obviously done, and let Dr. Marchant water that seed some. Hearing similar thoughts from another person may break through where you haven''t.

 

[mani5ha]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:44:44 PM
Author: jet2ks

Date: 1/19/2010 6:15:11 PM
Author: mani5ha

Good advice - and I used this analogy - his response was... You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it! I live in UK and ordering a stone and returning it would surely be quite a costly purchase?........

Actually this is good. My response is--He is right, that is why there is a 30day return window, to really test drive the diamond, not just walk around it in the showroom. A real diamond ''test drive'' will involve taking out to different lighting conditions and making sure that it performs well in all of them.

To continue the car analogy, would he test drive every single car on the lot, or just test drive the ones whose specs for style, size, engine, transmission, etc. match the specs he had in mind when shopping? The C''s, angles and proportions are the specs of the diamond. Does he feel confident that he knows enough about diamonds to look at the specs and decide whether it is worth test driving or just a waste of time? Also, if he found a car he wanted to buy and someone was offering an identical vehicle for sale on the internet for 25% less with a 30 day money back guarantee, what would he do?

You know him best, so will know how far you can push. My suggestion is to plant the seed of the importance of finding a well cut diamond, which you have obviously done, and let Dr. Marchant water that seed some. Hearing similar thoughts from another person may break through where you haven''t.

This is great advice!! I hope he''s not reading this forum, lol...!

I hope Dr. Marchant helps too! Am looking forward to meeting her! He knows that the cut is very important to me as i''ve said this from the beginning, then it''s size

One thing is - ordering a diamond from US to UK then sending it back... would this be expensive? I am hoping that either we love the diamond with Dr. Marchant or we assess the stats of the diamond then look for a bigger one online or with her with the same sorts of stats...!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think that researching before you buy a car takes the romance out of it. I mean, really you should just look at it and take it for a drive, forget about learning about the make and model and its history and reliability! Learning about that stuff is for suckers. Your heart will tell you when it is the right one.

Simply ridiculous.

 

[jet2ks]

Date: 1/19/2010 7:05:54 PM
Author: mani5ha

One thing is - ordering a diamond from US to UK then sending it back... would this be expensive? I am hoping that either we love the diamond with Dr. Marchant or we assess the stats of the diamond then look for a bigger one online or with her with the same sorts of stats...!!

You would be out shipping costs--I don''t know what that would be exactly. You should be able to get any import duties and taxes back. Hopefully one of our other UK members can address this better for you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

My Fiance had the best of both worlds. One of the big online vendors is 3 hours from where he is, so he made his initial contact online, but made the final selection in person. He describes his in person experience as a bit overwhelming (lots of diamond education, and lots of stones to looks at) but I think "romantic" would be the last word he used.

It was very romantic when he proposed . The means to which he bought the diamond had no effect on that.

Inline or in the store, I don''t see the process of buying the diamond romantic.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I don''t think it takes the romance out of it. My fiance and I started the process sort of together and had a ring made - it didn''t turn out right and we decided to start over. After a year long process, he got sick of waiting and proposed with a ring he made out of cardboard. It was beautiful and I love it. To us .. the ring is nothing but a ring.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Everyone is different. If you find a local stone that "speaks to you," then possibly that is the one. Today I went looking around and found some pretty stones, but you know what? They all were under the deceptive lighting most B&M stores have. I''d think that if you did shop locally you have to make the most of it and test the diamond out under various lighting.

If your BF is really against buying online, then maybe not make this something to debate with him. Let it go so he doesn''t feel the romance had been taken out of the experience.

I''ve purchased some great diamonds online. . .after your engagement, you can always save and buy a great pair of earrings from an online vendor!

 

[mani5ha]

Date: 1/19/2010 7:06:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
I think that researching before you buy a car takes the romance out of it. I mean, really you should just look at it and take it for a drive, forget about learning about the make and model and its history and reliability! Learning about that stuff is for suckers. Your heart will tell you when it is the right one.

Simply ridiculous.

Love it!!

 

[brellymom]

"Good advice - and I used this analogy - his response was... You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it! I live in UK and ordering a stone and returning it would surely be quite a costly purchase?........ "


Yes, but to stretch the analogy a bit - go to B&M to pick out the "car" you want - size, color, cut, setting, then buy from the place that gives best value - probably online. I''d certainly want to test drive a car, but if i were buying it new, once I selected the model, test drove it, I''d then actually buy from the least cost dealer - online or B&M.

 

[septembergirl]

My husband and I were actually talking about something similar to this last night. I told him about a few of the threads I had been reading here on PS and said to him that I was glad we waited to buy an engagement ring when we got engaged (we waited almost 7 months) and he agreed that he was glad too. He said that for most people, buying a diamond ring is probably going to be one of the top 10 major purchases a man/couple will make in his/their lifetime and that it makes all the sense in the world to do your homework ahead of time. We both agreed when we were talking that it does not take the romance out of the proposal and we talked about situations where a bad or costly mistake could have been made in a ring purchase, especially if the person ended up paying way too much for a stone that might not be as nice as a less-expensive and possibly higher quality version. In our situation, we knew what our budget was and I was determined to use an online vendor--I had his blessing to shop online--and we spent a long time looking for a diamond that "spoke" to us. I was thankful for sites like PS. When we saw the stone online and studied the specs, I knew it was the one and we ended up buying it.

IMO, the romance is when that moment occurs when the man musters up all of his courage and fully opens his heart to ask that all-important question, ring or no ring.

 

[Bliss]

I can't think of anything more romantic than having the most sparkly, fiery and brilliant stone to signify your bond together. *swoon* Of course, numbers tell you a great deal but you do have to see it with your eyes! Diamonds have personalities, believe it or not. When DH picked my stone, he narrowed the choices down based on the certs/numbers...but then he chose based on which one was going the craziest according to his naked eye. Can't think of anything more romantic than that!!!

If anyone tells you that numbers aren't romantic, tell them: 1 + 1 =

 

[tonyc2387]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:13:31 PM
Author: mani5ha
clgwli Ah thanks.. You're right its not unromantic, and funny how the B&M stores are the ones that say it....

BINGO... stop right there... that's the only reason he's heard it. *they* want to sell you the stone so *they* make the money... they know exactly NONE of their products can hold a candle to a PS-recommended stone. the only way they can counteract that is to grab your bf emotionally. B&M salesmen do an extremely good job of it and it looks like he's getting sucked in...

you could always tell him you'll be disappointed if he buys a stone in a given store because you're going to know there's better out there... it's a little bit of hardball

but it's never good to have a diamond you don't l

ve, right?

ditto yssie. let me put it this way... B&M stores can speak to you. an ACA you'll hear from a mile away. (and no, i'm not exaggerating)

**edit for full disclosure: i was there getting suckered in by B&M's too. they were *really* close to getting me. also, i was somewhat afraid of both the concept of buying a diamond online and the perception of it i'm sure most of my family will have... though i'm sure it won't surprise them. however, i just got my ACA, and there's no question it was a better choice... and i have a sneaking suspicion that everyone will

real quick when they see it on her finger

 

[HVVS]

Do take all of the romance out. Diamond e-ring should come from head. Romance come from heart, lol. You don't want to overpay. Diamonds are not an investment to begin with. Be sure of what you are getting and get the most for your money. Also, upgrade and buy-back policies might be very useful someday.

I walked through the best local jewelry store a few days ago. It's a mall-type store, but not the typical Zales, Kay's, etc. It has better diamonds than those other stores. This store had diamonds that looked pretty darned good in their lighting. I saw some I1-I2 grades, but also some EGL-graded SI1 RBs that really didn't look half bad. I moved in for a closer look, and put my GOG F SI2 up for comparison. And... There was NONE! Absolutely none. None. lol This is mine, btw http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/5380/
Go to gemex.com and load report BR135FSI210114008

 

[Lula]

Ditto everything Jet said in his posts above!! You are in good hands with Dr. Marchant and Infinity. And I say this as someone who has "test driven" a few Infinity stones in order to find the Infinity that was perfect for me. Nothing beats taking a diamond out of the store and living with it and viewing it in different lights. I think any shipping costs you would incur would be well worth it, to make sure you get exactly what you want.

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 1/19/2010 6:15:11 PM
Author: mani5ha

Date: 1/19/2010 6:12:08 PM
Author: jet2ks
The romance is in the relationship and the proposal, not the purchase of a ring--when you combine large ticket purchases and emotions there will be nothing but trouble. Buying the ring is a business transaction, nothing else, and the goal should be to get the most for your money.

I don''t know what type of things he is into, but how about this for a comparison. Buying a ring based on just looking and waiting for it to ''speak to you'' is like buying a car because it looks good on the lot, without knowing anything about the engine, transmission, options and safety features. Sounds like a good way to get ripped off and end up with a lemon. What buying online with the right specs allows is to find the car that not only looks good, but will also perform well.

I agree that maybe a good way is to buy a top notch stone from one of the online vendors and then take and compare it to what you could get for the same money in person. There would be no comparison.

Good advice - and I used this analogy - his response was... You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it! I live in UK and ordering a stone and returning it would surely be quite a costly purchase?........

I am coming in late to this conversation, and perhaps it has already been stated, but since you are working with Dr. Marchant, you need not incur any expense in looking at well cut diamonds. She is an awesome lady and very knowledgeable about diamonds, you will have a great visit with her.

Wink

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 1/19/2010 7:44:16 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker
My Fiance had the best of both worlds. One of the big online vendors is 3 hours from where he is, so he made his initial contact online, but made the final selection in person. He describes his in person experience as a bit overwhelming (lots of diamond education, and lots of stones to looks at) but I think ''romantic'' would be the last word he used.

It was very romantic when he proposed . The means to which he bought the diamond had no effect on that.

Inline or in the store, I don''t see the process of buying the diamond romantic.

Hmmm, depends on the vendor I think.

We had a client and his fiance come in from out of State to look at and buy a diamond. I arranged a selection of gems for them to look at, then we had lunch together, then at the lunch I let them know we had arranged a candle light dinner at one of the better local restaurants for them.

In their thank you note to me she commented that this was the most romantic purchase she had ever been involved with. Of course, it was not just the dinner on Wink, it was the whole package, including the fact that he invited her to come visit Boise while he was on business then just had to run up the stairs to my office with her to talk with a friend. I think they were almost to the top of the stairs when she looked over and saw the sign on the door and started gushing something along the lines of, "Your friend is a jeweler? Your friend is a jeweler!!!!"

I sure thought it was fun, if not romantic...

Wink

 

[mani5ha]

I am coming in late to this conversation, and perhaps it has already been stated, but since you are working with Dr. Marchant, you need not incur any expense in looking at well cut diamonds. She is an awesome lady and very knowledgeable about diamonds, you will have a great visit with her.


Wink

I agree I had a great visit with her and it was great to see some well cut diamonds in the UK, they were amazing!! Infinity diamonds =

!!

 

[Hest88]

Date: 1/19/2010 7:06:17 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
I mean, really you should just look at it and take it for a drive, forget about learning about the make and model and its history and reliability!

Yep. Or check the blue book price or your financing options and just accept that whatever figure your car salesman throws out there is the best price!

I think they were almost to the top of the stairs when she looked over and saw the sign on the door and started gushing something along the lines of, "Your friend is a jeweler? Your friend is a jeweler!!!!"

Ohhhh, I beg to differ, Wink. I think that's super romantic. The planning. The surprise. I know some people think spontaneity is the most romantic thing, but for me it's about someone taking the time to carefully plan something that will give you maximum joy.

And how sweet of you to add to the romance with the Wink-approved dinner!