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Survey: 2 months salary? More? Less?

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rich2012

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2012
Messages
6
Hello Everyone,

I'm torn over how much to budget for the engagement ring. The PS community is probably skewed to the higher end - I imagine that people who put enough care and time into finding the right diamond are more likely to invest more - but I'm still curious what the general sentiment is on this issue.

Thanks in advance!

Richard
 
I always thought it was 3 months, before deductions.

That being said don't get hung up on a formula. Spend what you are comfortable with and makes sense in your current situation. If she loves you, she will love your ring.
 
Actually most of us on PS dont go by those standards. We moreso go by what you can afford without going into debt and
what size rings are her friends/sisters wearing. My ring cost no where near 2 months of my husbands salary (but then we
did get married older :)) ).
 
Yes, buy what you can afford (but there is nothing wrong with the equivalent of 2 months salary). Do you have any idea what she likes? I'd consider what her best friends or sisters wear because most people (but certainly not all, especially here!) are comfortable wearing something in the general range of their social circle, IF it is in budget.
 
rich2012|1353347586|3310201 said:
Hello Everyone,

I'm torn over how much to budget for the engagement ring. The PS community is probably skewed to the higher end - I imagine that people who put enough care and time into finding the right diamond are more likely to invest more - but I'm still curious what the general sentiment is on this issue.

Thanks in advance!

Richard
Click to expand...
Get what you can afford is usually the sentiment around here. Don't go into debt for a ring, you can always upgrade later.
 
I think these sorts of rules are arbitrary. IMO the happy medium would be between what you can afford while still being able to make your girlfriend happy. Some guys don't want to spend a lot on an e-ring, while some have no qualms dropping more money on the ring. Likewise some ladies prefer smaller diamonds while there are others who love honkers.
 
It's all diamond marketing started by de beers.
 
I agree...you should spend and/or save according to your comfort level. For example, you may make a 6-figure salary, but only have $5k in the savings. In my opinion, your budget should be around $5k so that you don't have to finance the purchase. That being said, if you want to spend more than you have saved or set-aside for such a purchase, come up with a plan to have a certain amount saved in x months so that you can reach your budget goal. That is what my family does when we want things.

Do you have a specific budget in mind? You say that you are torn. I can give you an example. My BF has budgeted $5k for a ring. He can AFFORD more, but has decided that it is more important to be financially stable (i.e. have a cushion of money in the bank) so he doesn't want to spend too much. We don't care about what our friends have and we are not interested in being flashy. So for us, $5k will get me something nice and I will be happy. We also put more value in other stuff. We bought a new car using cash (so we don't have the debt) and when we bought our house, we tried to get one we could grow into because we plan to live in it forever. My BF is way more financially conservative than I am. So, you have to decide what is appropriate for your lifestyle. I can't say our situation is superior in any way, it's just the decision we made.

PSers vary in budget. But, we don't vary in quality - we always tend to suggest quality over size.
 
I don't think many people use that train of thought anymore when buying an e-ring. It was a marketing ploy anyway...The best advice has already been given: Buy what you can afford, do not go into debt for it, if you can finance it at a great deal (a number of places have 0% financing for 6 months or longer) then go ahead and do that. But seriously consider your budget, what can you realistically afford at this time and what are you mentally comfortable with.
 
To the OP, if you have a 6 figure salary, I think it would be nice to spend more than 5k! I also think there is nothing wrong with short term financing, either, as long as you can afford the payments. We are debt free other than a mortgage, but back when we were young and getting engaged, my husband did borrow the money for the ring which he paid back in 18 months. There was absolutely nothing negative about that whatsoever because he could afford it. I would never do that for any other jewelry item, but it is totally different in terms of an engagement ring.

And in fact, if a person had $5000 in total savings, they would be FAR smarter to finance the ring at a low rate and leave the $5k in the bank as emergency funds.
 
phtp|1353349158|3310232 said:
It's all diamond marketing started by de beers.
Click to expand...

Yep.

Get what you can afford and what you feel is an appropriate amount to spend. Definitely don't go into debt for a piece of jewelry!
 
AN0NYM0US|1353347851|3310204 said:
I always thought it was 3 months, before deductions.
Click to expand...

That's just nuts.
 
I dunno. The answer probably depends on "Whose salary?"

The average engagement ring in my region is about a .6ct to .75ct center, but a .33 to .5ct would not be uncommon. Settings vary in price and complexity. I don't see any designer settings; I see mostly solitaires. Before 2009, about a 1ct center or solitaire was the norm. The anniversary upgrades for people married 10 years or more were looking for 1.5ct to 1.6ct., certainly not 2ct.

There are a lot of .8ct RB diamonds bought by PS people.

1.25ct RB used to sell for only about a 10% premium over 1ct but that was back in 2007-2008 and I haven't compared prices lately. The first diamond that I (I am single) bought was close to 1.25ct.

I'm sure that vendors want to push the size up to 1.5ct or 2ct for the average e-ring, but that's is not a realistic budget for many people.

I would put most of the money into the center diamond (biggest & best cut I could afford) then look for an economical way to set it. Others might pick a $4000 setting and then have to skimp on a diamond.
 
My fiance spent less than one month's salary. We could have spent a lot more without trouble, but it really wasn't necessary to get what I wanted. And most non-jewelry people think my ring cost us way more than what it did.

3 months before deductions would have been a ridiculous budget.... but I'll work on making it seem reasonable for a future anniversary cause I want a diamond riviera necklace. :saint:
 
I think there was a thread recently about this but in any case the answer is it depends on how much you have after expenses. It doesn't matter if you are making a million dollars a year if your expenses are 2 million if you kwim. So, you need to take into account all your bills//debt/expenses and how much you earn and arrive at a figure you are comfortable with. People will differ in their opinions but for me I would never go into debt over any bling. Ever. When my dh proposed he did so with a ring that was well within his budget. IMO you do not want to buy a ring on credit or buy a ring that you have to make payments on. For a luxury item such as a ring you want to pay for it outright. That's my opinion though and you have to do what feels right to you. Remember you have your whole life ahead of you with many expenses/purchases- some that are way bigger than a ring (ie home) so you want to start off on the right foot so to speak.
 
Too many unknowns to offer specific advice.

But generally, I think its nice if you can balance what she wants with what you are comfortable spending.
 
It might depend on how old you are. My BF is in his late 30's, and one month's salary (before taxes) got us a 1.0 ct center stone with a pave halo in a designer setting. Also, he's never been married before (that might be a factor for some people?).
 
If we went on three months salary I would have a MUCH bigger diamond than I have! Do what you are comfortable with!
 
My husband spent about $1k on my half carat engagement ring, when we were both in school and he had very little income. It seemed like a generous budget to me at the time! Now that we have good jobs, he doesn't mind if I spend about $1k/year on jewelry. It's all relative. There are many PSers with stones under a carat, and some even prefer their 'smaller' rings for a variety of reasons (not comfortable with a big diamond, wouldn't match profession or active lifestyle, etc.). There are others here with 3-5 carat stones. I love looking at these beauties, but it would not fit my lifestyle or social situation to have a very large diamond.

Also, one thing that I hate-hate-hate to mention, but might be a consideration, is what profession she is in and how a diamond of whatever size might be perceived. I read something online a while ago with a headline of something like "Will the size of your ring affect hurt you career?" and the answer was that, if you have what would be considered to be a 'big' ring, you might be perceived as having a lot of money, not needing to work, being materialistic, going to quit to have babies, etc. and so you don't need that raise/promotion, or even to be hired at all. :?
 
Thank you for your responses. When I say that I'm torn, I mean that it's like I have two competing groups:

Factors that raise my target price:
1. I absolutely love and adore her more than I ever thought I would love any woman. I'm sure all of you men adore your prospective wives/fiances. That's why you're looking, correct? :D
2. I earn a good living.
3. She is NOT high maintenance. This motivates me to raise my price more as I believe women like her deserve to have nice things more than those who demand it or feel as though they're entitled to it.
4. I'll be perfectly honest here, some small part of this is also ego. As a man you want to feel as though you're doing the best you can for your woman, and though a diamond doesn't feed the family or put a roof over head it has become a powerful symbol in our society.

Factors that pull back my target price:
1. We are both budget conscious. Both of us put a ton of value in savings and sound investment, and we're generally turned off by wasteful or over-the-top spending.
2. I'm repulsed at the thought - with full knowledge and eyes wide open - of falling victim to what is essentially a marketing campaign. Diamonds are beautiful and I've learned a lot about them recently, but I'm also aware of the hyper-inflation of diamond prices caused by the marketing machine alone.
3. She's mentioned that she might be worried about having something of such high monetary value on her hand every day. She's generally referring to the risk of loss, theft, etc. I haven't looked into insurance, but I believe a policy should help mitigate this risk.

Well, I don't think I'm much closer to determining my target price, but I do appreciate the discussion and thought that all of you have provoked.
 
2 months salary?

Wow.

I would expect somewhere around $1000-2000 to be the "norm" for younger middle class workers. I'm basing this off nothing other than what I've seen among friends in their 20s.

I think $4000 would be way too much for a ring if you're making, say, $40,000 a year. I think $500 would be too little.

Social class might be part of it, but I think it's more about individual budget. I know a few girls who have 1.5 carat rings. I wouldn't really want or expect that. I want 2 carat! Just kidding. I also wouldn't want a tiny .25 of a carat, either. I think a tasteful average .5 carat or 1 carat or less is more of the norm. A lot of younger girls get pave diamonds around the main stone to make the stone look bigger.

If a guy is making, say, $500,000 a year and spends $1,000 on a ring, he might be considered cheap.
If a guy is making, say, $50,000 a year and spends $5,000 on a ring, I think he's spending too much.

I think a guy should have to save up a little for a ring, but not 2 or 3 months salary. Unless he's working at McDonalds.
 
Yes, we absolutely recommend jewelry insurance so that there is no fear of losing or damaging the diamond! We can help you with that when the time comes!

Does she have any friends or sisters who have engagement rings yet? It is NOT that you have to follow the crowd, but if all her friends have half carat diamonds, then you are in good shape if you get her .5 or .75. :bigsmile: If all her friends and sisters have 1.5 or 2 ct. stones (poor guy!), then I'd say you might want to go larger than .5 if you can.
 
Rich,

Maybe this is a little backwards, but how about looking at some rings that the two of you think are an appropriate size and style and get a feel for how much they cost. You may discover that such rings are well within your budget even though you don't exactly have a budget right now.

It sounds like you are both very practical. You (she) may like the idea of a vintage ring or a colored stone instead of a diamond.

Regardless of what you decide to do, there are some wonderful folks here who will help you get the most bling for your buck, something you'll be proud of for whatever you feel comfortable spending.

liz
 
Sounds like my FH and I are a LOT like you and your lady! We are both “savers” and debt-haters but are willing & able to spend for quality where it matters. Our shared values led us to a budget we were both comfortable with. We thought of it as an investment – we wanted it to be high quality enough that it would last a long time (a lifetime, in fact!), and I wanted it to be small enough that it wouldn’t interfere with my lifestyle or make me feel guilty to look at. So we went with a high quality setting, and a smaller stone than he probably would have picked, if left to his own devices (ego). Generally when we choose something like furniture together, he thinks mostly about function and I think more about aesthetics. In this case, we had a bit of a role reversal since I’m the one who will be wearing it every day. He cared more about BLING and I cared more about the fact that I use the hand it’ll be attached to . It’s really been a lot of fun for us to pick it out together and debate all the choices. I had the most input on the setting, and once I chose the shape of the stone, he took the lead on choosing it.
If you’re planning on surprising her, then it might be harder to narrow down your budget. If you’re doing this as a team, I’m sure you’ll also find a beautiful solution. But it sounds like you know her mind pretty well. :wink2: Good luck!
 
I'd start by getting a feel for what you think is beautiful, what would suit her and what she would be comfortable wearing. There are some people who stick closely to the budget they set for the engagement ring and there are others who revise their budget as they go along discovering they do want that larger diamond or that special setting. I've seen people pleasantly surprised to find they could get something gorgeous for less than they initially thought they would need to spend. You may find you learn more about your budget as you go through the process of deciding which ring would be the loveliest to mark this special occasion in your lives.There are plenty of people here who could help you sift through the vast array of choice that is out there.
 
I don't have an answer...but I do think you're asking the wrong question :bigsmile:

Find out what she wants! I don't think very many women will say "I want the most expensive ring you can afford". I was shocked when I talked to my girlfriend at how much thought she had put into the ring! If I had gotten her what I was thinking, she would have hated it (no matter what it cost), and I never would have known because she never would have had the heart to tell me.

I'm shopping now, and in all likelihood I'm going to end up spending less than 1 months salary. Cheap? Maybe. But she picked the diamond and she picked the ring, so we're both happy campers!
 
rich2012|1353358164|3310371 said:
Thank you for your responses. When I say that I'm torn, I mean that it's like I have two competing groups:

Factors that raise my target price:
1. I absolutely love and adore her more than I ever thought I would love any woman. I'm sure all of you men adore your prospective wives/fiances. That's why you're looking, correct? :D
2. I earn a good living.
3. She is NOT high maintenance. This motivates me to raise my price more as I believe women like her deserve to have nice things more than those who demand it or feel as though they're entitled to it.
4. I'll be perfectly honest here, some small part of this is also ego. As a man you want to feel as though you're doing the best you can for your woman, and though a diamond doesn't feed the family or put a roof over head it has become a powerful symbol in our society.

Factors that pull back my target price:
1. We are both budget conscious. Both of us put a ton of value in savings and sound investment, and we're generally turned off by wasteful or over-the-top spending.
2. I'm repulsed at the thought - with full knowledge and eyes wide open - of falling victim to what is essentially a marketing campaign. Diamonds are beautiful and I've learned a lot about them recently, but I'm also aware of the hyper-inflation of diamond prices caused by the marketing machine alone.
3. She's mentioned that she might be worried about having something of such high monetary value on her hand every day. She's generally referring to the risk of loss, theft, etc. I haven't looked into insurance, but I believe a policy should help mitigate this risk.

Well, I don't think I'm much closer to determining my target price, but I do appreciate the discussion and thought that all of you have provoked.
Click to expand...

Do you know what style she likes? If you say she's not high maintenance, she may want something more simple and not flashy. But, I can't tell you for sure. Perhaps it would be a good idea to answer these questions (courtesy of Gypsy) and then we can give you some suggestions. We can't really decide what your budget would be.

1. What is your budget?
2. How old are you guys?
3. What do she do for a living/working toward doing for a living.
4. How does she dress? Does she dress up a lot, or is she a jeans and T-shirts girl? Grundge? Tailored Ann Taylor tastes?
5. Does she prefer white metals or yellow/pinks ones
6. How is her house decorated? Does she love antique store trolling? Does she love everything Pottery Barn? Is she ultra modern with lots of metal and leather?
7. Is she clumsy? Is she very put together?
8. Does she love handbags and have a stable of them to choose from? Are they mostly practical (neutral colors: brown, black, beige) or are there a lot of colors in there? Blue, purple, red?
9. What metro area are you in or near? Or are you in the country? Tell me where you live and what it's like there (if it's not obvious, like NYC).
10. Do you guys have pets? Want them? What kind?
11. Is she a brand name girl? Does she love things with brand names? If so why? Is it the dependability of brand name quality that appeals to her or is it the bragging rights? Or is she more understated and while she appreciates quality brand names don't do it for her?
12. Okay now, describe her to us in your own words? I've never met her, bring her to life me. What qualities does she have that you love? What is her sense of humor like? Just... tell us about her.
13. Has she expressed an interest in any particular style of ring (halo, Legacy, solitaire, three stone) or shape of stone (round, marquise, pear, princess, emerald, radiant.)?
14. What is her existing jewelry like? A lot of variety, or are there a few select pieces of similar design? What does she wear regularly?
 
distracts|1353352691|3310304 said:
My fiance spent less than one month's salary. We could have spent a lot more without trouble, but it really wasn't necessary to get what I wanted. And most non-jewelry people think my ring cost us way more than what it did.
Click to expand...

This is my ring too! DH spent right around one month's salary. We did get no-interest financing for 6-months but paid it off in less than 3 I believe.

A ring is nothing to go into debt for. You don't need to enter a marriage by incurring debt!
 
FYI... ..center stone only.

U.S. avg E-ring is J SI2 .71 ct

P.S. avg E-ring is H VS2 1.18 ct

No.Ca. avg is 2.61 ct

So.Ca. avg is 2.73 ct

NYC avg is 2.87 ct

midwest avg E-ring is .48 ct

the avg E-ring in Texas and Florida is 1.86 ct
 
Dancing Fire|1353368711|3310509 said:
FYI... ..center stone only.

U.S. avg E-ring is J SI2 .71 ct

P.S. avg E-ring is H VS2 1.18 ct

No.Ca. avg is 2.61 ct

So.Ca. avg is 2.73 ct

NYC avg is 2.87 ct

midwest avg E-ring is .48 ct

the avg E-ring in Texas and Florida is 1.86 ct
Click to expand...

Are these real? If so, are they based on PS members or did you find this somewhere else? I just have a hard time believing that the AVERAGE where I live is 2.73ct. I know there are obviously some wealthy people that have large rings, but not enough to make the entire average of the whole area that large!
 
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