Stressing out over my CC....

[kumasue]

To make things short.

(Whoever interested in the screenshots of how this all unfolded can check out my previous thread posts)

Summing things up.

On 16th August I ordered a diamond from James allen
On 17th August James Allen rejected my order and told me to do a manual merchant refund from the bank
On 18th August. A local police report has been filed. Manual merchant chargeback from the bank has also been filed.
Also on 18th August. A James Allen representative A told me a refund has already been processed and is completed since 17th August (I even told this rep to check again to be extra sure)
Fast forward to 26th August. (After two other representative ALSO told me the refund has already been processed on 17th August)

Today I contacted James Allen representative D (that checked with a supervisor on my case) and was told there never had been any refund. That the manual merchant chargeback will still take place.

This drastically affected my relationship with my S/O since he was extremely against online retailer but I wanted to to save some bucks.
(Yes I get that I'm at fault)

So currently it takes up to 60 days from the manual merchant chargeback since 18th August which will be by 17 October

But my billing date is 14 September. Latest bill payment date 9 October.

James Allen effectively gaved me hope. Then gave me anxiety, stress and depression. Then to give me hope again that I will get back my money within 7 working days and then push me back to hell fire.

Every single god damn day I wake up stressing when will my money be back? The first thing I do everyday was to check is my refund processed???? I'm sooo soooo sooooo frickin stressed out I know saying this won't help anyone or anything but God damn my anxiety levels are sky rocketing

 

[seaurchin]

(Sorry this is so long lol). So sorry you are going through this recurring nightmare. What an ugly thing for the excitement of purchasing a diamond together to turn into. And I certainly hope the manager dealt with whoever or whatever caused you to be given incorrect information, on top of the rest. Wow.

My two cents on the rest fwiw:

First, you didn't do anything wrong imo. You made a good choice. It just happened to go wrong anyway. James Allen is a huge, longstanding company with a solid reputation. Buying diamonds in person is typically not nearly as good, which you probably know better than your guy does. You have very limited choice that way. On the internet, you have... everything. In fact, I'd probably figure out what went wrong here, then go online again.

A "rule of engagement" for us is, after permission is granted, regardless of misgivings or doubts, that's it. From there, it is a joint decision, with no take backs based on results.

Another "rule" for us is generosity in granting grace. We all fall short in big and small ways (though, again, I don't even think you even did fall short here). But it feels terrible to be in disgrace with your SO on top of a perceived blunder, with no way out. And it is luscious to hear "It's okay" and get consolation and understanding instead.

I learned this from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy book, re "catastrophizing." I notice phrases "drastically affecting your relationship" and "anxiety levels skyrocketing." But what does it rate on a scale of things that can happen to you in life, from 1 to 10 (1 the smallest and 10 the worst). No one is hospitalized or homeless and I seriously doubt you won't get a refund, so I'd call it a two that feels like an eight. So I'd try to not allow it to have a larger effect than that.

Good luck. Please keep us updated.

 

[Autumn in New England]

I don't know how to advise you in this situation, @kumasue; I just wanted to express my sympathies that this is happening to you. I hope it is resolved soon! Please take care of yourself in the interim.

 

[Autumn in New England]

(Sorry this is so long lol). So sorry you are going through this recurring nightmare. What an ugly thing for the excitement of purchasing a diamond together to turn into. And I certainly hope the manager dealt with whoever or whatever caused you to be given incorrect information, on top of the rest. Wow.

My two cents on the rest fwiw:

First, you didn't do anything wrong imo. You made a good choice. It just happened to go wrong anyway. James Allen is a huge, longstanding company with a solid reputation. Buying diamonds in person is typically not nearly as good, which you probably know better than your guy does. You have very limited choice that way. On the internet, you have... everything. In fact, I'd probably figure out what went wrong here, then go online again.

A "rule of engagement" for us is, after permission is granted, regardless of misgivings or doubts, that's it. From there, it is a joint decision, with no take backs based on results.

Another "rule" for us is generosity in granting grace. We all fall short in big and small ways (though, again, I don't even think you even did fall short here). But it feels terrible to be in disgrace with your SO on top of a perceived blunder, with no way out. And it is luscious to hear "It's okay" and get consolation and understanding instead.

I learned this from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy book, re "catastrophizing." I notice phrases "drastically affecting your relationship" and "anxiety levels skyrocketing." But what does it rate on a scale of things that can happen to you in life, from 1 to 10 (1 the smallest and 10 the worst). No one is hospitalized or homeless and I seriously doubt you won't get a refund, so I'd call it a two that feels like an eight. So I'd try to not allow it to have a larger effect than that.

Good luck. Please keep us updated.

Can I just say I love the way your brain works? This post is 100% on-point... it's calm, rational, pragmatic, but there's also an emotional component, and you're clearly an empath. Can I hire you as my life coach?