spanking new BIW with questions!

[janinegirly]

hi all, add me to the list, I''m a BIW for 4 days now! I won''t be doing any major planning until the New Year (too busy with work!), but I have so many basic questions and already have friends and family hounding me for details. I''m keeping them at bay, but I''m excited and want to start planning (which I''m sure will make my fiance nervous, he wants to enjoy the engagement period!).
Anyway, what I see for a wedding is something really small, (but classy) and not too expensive or OTT. I''d like to do something in 6-7 months, is this possible? If not, it''d have to be more like 9mo''s since we don''t want to do it during the summer. Where do I start? Do I look into churches/reception places first? No idea where to start! My boyf..I mean fiance is not into the whole huge celebration thing--is it possible to have a wedding that is simple but classy and not too high pressured? Thanks!!!

 

[firebirdgold]

Hey, don't look at me, we're running away to Hawaii with our parents and siblings!

It's sort of cheating, IMO.

I'd suggest looking at venues first and maybe planners if your budget will allow it. You can certainly plan a wedding in that amount of time, but finding a venue that's still open will be trickier.
As for a classy and simple wedding, my biggest advice is to not let it get away from you. Weddings can take on a life of their own, so you have to be a bit ruthless. First off, make a list of the four things most important to you about your wedding. (When I did that I was surprised that a wedding cake made my list. Being relaxed and happy made the list too.) It'll tell you what you should concentrate your energy on, and what you can cut out.

Or you can take the easy way out and run off to some beautiful destination with your closest friends and family, let the resort do all the planning/work, and have a bigger, more casual party when you get back!

Welcome to the other side

 

[janinegirly]

thanks indie! i haven''t ruled out the destination wedding idea---if this gets too stressful, I''ll be exploring it a lot more! Is a destination wedding a lot more reasonable (even including all the flights/accomdations)? And it sounds like you''re doing only family..sounds so much easier

 

[CrownJewel]

Hey Janine, I think a good place to start may be to draft up a guest list (you do one, your fiance does one, and each set of parents should do one). Simultaneously estimate a budget. Our budget really dictates who, what, where and when. Unfortunately our budget keeps fluctuating. Take those guest lists that everyone put together and consolidate. Make one "small wedding" list and one big (but still realistic) comprehensive list. The small wedding list should have the names of those people who you ABSOLUTELY 100% NEED at your wedding, only the people you talk to on a regular basis. Our small wedding list is 42 people made up mostly of our best friends (remember to invite significant others). Our "big but realistic" list basically included more family members (gleaned from our parents'' lists) and a few more important friends but still not EVERYONE we would have liked...it totals 120.

If you have any ideas of where you would like to have your wedding ceremony and reception, make a list and call them for prices and capacities. If you don''t have any clue (like me) I would suggest going to barnes and noble and buying a "Wedding Sites and Services" magazine. I think there is a similar magazine called "Locations" and it details prices and capacities as well as sample menus according to area. I know there is one for NYC and surrounding area.

That should be enough for the next few weeks! The guest list and ceremony/reception location go hand in hand and will influence your budget quite a bit (for us, our tiny, teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy budget is completely dedicated to the food at the reception).

 

[CrownJewel]

What luck! There's a website for the magazine I told you about: Wedding Sites and Services

The one for the NJ and PA regions is: More Sites

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Janinegirly- first off, CONGRATS!

I got engaged exactly a year ago, during the first weekend in December. I took advantage of the "down time" at work to do a bit of research about sites, budgets and the like. DH and I had the same ideas on what kind of wedding we wanted- not too traditional, outdoors, fun, medium-ish size (70ppl), and with an underlying theme of "simple elegance." We also wanted the wedding to be a true reflection of US. We visited sites after the first of the year and booked our venue on 2/1 for a 9/30 wedding.

So yes, it's possible to plan a wedding in 6-8 months. Just set a timeline, and write out your goals and priorities. What's important to you? What's not? Is there somewhere you always envisioned getting married at? Is there a certain city, or place that is special to you? What about your hobbies- do you want to incorporate those into your wedding? DH and I LOVE wine, and knew all along that our dream location was a winery.

One of the first things I did was to attend a bridal show- it's a bit overwhelming, but I got some great ideas and figured out quickly what I did/did not want. Also check out some wedding planning sites like theknot.com and weddingchannel.com

GOOD LUCK!

 

[KimberlyH]

Janine,

Happy first BIW post!

My husband and I had a very small wedding (28 people, including us) and had the ceremony and reception in the same place. It was very intimate, relaxed and enjoyable and my very shy husband even managed to have a wonderful time. We hired a guitarist to play the whole night, created great ambiance, and had 8 waiters serving our party, which equated to a great amount of personal attention. Point being, it can be done. Start with a guest list and work from there. Plan on spending at least 2 full Saturdays checking out venues. If you aren''t going to have dancing (we didn''t) make sure the food is exceptional as it is what people will remember. And most important, have fun!