Wedding Someone help me... about to go bridezilla

[anchor31]

Ok, I posted a bit about it on the 1 month thread Cleopatra started for us, but I really need help.

I''m so stressed out, I''m worried I''m heading to a full blown anxiety attack. Thing is, those things that are stressing me out, I can''t really control them. Mom says that if I can''t control them then there''s no point in worrying, but this time I can''t seem to not let them worry me. Things just keep adding up.

- Our RSVP limit was yesterday and only 26 cards out of 46 are in... Only 33 people out of 52 are coming so far;
- FI''s mom still doesn''t have a dress;
- FI''s mom (again) agreed to make pew bows and then backed out;
- My mom''s last chemo treatment was move up to one week before the wedding;
- I had to argue with the lady in charge of the weddings and proms at the hair salon (who is not doing my hair) to actually get a really hair trial;
And the straw that broke the camel''s back...
- My brother (who you might remember said a few months ago that he was thinking about "beating us to the altar") just sent me an e-mail with a picture of the GOLD prom dress his FI bought to wear at my wedding, that is not only way fancier than my sapphire blue BM''s dresses, but almost as fancy as my own wedding dress. Apparently, they "wanted to make sure she didn''t clash with his Navy uniform".

Ladies, if you think I''m overreacting, you''re probably right... I work a lot, I''m tired and stressed and I probably am overreacting... I probably need to hear it too. It''s just... I''ve been bending over backwards to make everyone happy for the last 23½ months, and I feel like nobody really cares in the end. Like people don''t care that it''s OUR day and that I''M the bride, and they just do whatever the heck they please, if I''m not happy I can just stuff it. And then if they''re not happy, I get the blame... Double standards much?

Please ladies, help me get through this last month. With work and mom in chemo and trying to put everything together... I feel like I''m losing it. Right now, I just want to call everything off.

 

[Independent Gal]

Aw, sweety. That''s a lot of stress!

Deeeeep breaths. Get some exercise. Try to keep things in perspective. It''s going to be OK.

Your FSIL will also look really, really silly in that gold dress. VERY silly. That can''t be helped. But it won''t take away from how lovely you and your girls will look!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I don''t think you''re overreacting at all. So let''s go through this one thing at a time. I know it''s probably rude, but can you or FI call the people who didn''t return RSVPS after about another week? When are your final headcounts due? FI needs to tell his Mom to get a dress, she may be your FMIL, but she''s his Mom. So he needs to call her and say hey Mom get a dress plz. Or, do you have time to go shopping with her? Maybe that would encourage her? Maybe you might not have time since you''re really busy. I am so sorry about your Mom I know this is a really rough time to be dealing with this. Please just try to be there for her during her chemo. ((Hugs)) And that is nuts about the lady in the salon. My salon actually tried to do the same thing to me. Hair trials are "a waste of money" according to the owner; however, I insisted and I will be doing one. One way to sneak it by I found out as well is to tell them it''s for bridal portraits or something. I think they fear it not looking the same and people getting upset, but if I were them I would prefer that over spending hours trying to figure out what someone wanted.

Okay and about your bro and his FI. Completely unacceptable. Your bro''s FI needs a new dress. Maybe that''s a bit bridezilla to dictate what someone else wears to your wedding, but she is going to outshine the bridesmaids and that is NOT okay. So I recommend explaining this to your bro as gently as possible and seeing if he will cooperate. If not, then maybe you could take his FI out to lunch and try it that way. Sure it may not work, but it''s worth a try.

Anyway, have a glass of wine and breathe deep. Bubble bath might be good as well. This is a rough time, but you''ll make it through!

 

[Sabine]

Awe, Anchor, I''m sorry you are so stressed and that other people are making it harder for you instead of easier for you. I don''t really have any advice, but just wanted you to know that I''m thinking about you and hoping things get easier!

 

[mimzy]

aww anchor!

if i could i would give you the biggest hug, then a foot rub, then pour you a glass of champagne (or ginger ale, whatvs)!

one thing at a time!

- put one of your bridesmaids or MOH on call duty starting tomorrow. or maybe your FI??

- not your problem! if she looks ridiculous in pictures, that''s no reflection on you. YOU''LL look fabulous

. no one is going to relate what she''s wearing to anything you''ve done.

- i bet you are better off. they''d probably look

cheesy anyways. can you enlist someone else to do this? martha stewart bows!

- i''m sorry about your mom, BUT you know it''s ultimately for the best for her and what could be better than that?

- you had to argue, but it''s over!

- WOW. this is laughable! i would let him know that it isn''t appropriate and that you''re only letting him know to save her from embarrassment. if she doesn''t listen to him, then again, it''s her that''s going to look ridiculous, not you

i''m sorry people aren''t stepping up for you anchor

but despite that i know that your day is going to be wonderful and nobody is going to ruin it for you as long as you don''t let them. keep your chin up!

 

[neatfreak]

Anchor, you are so not a bridezilla! Don''t you worry about that. Just take a deep breath, have FI give you a massage, and think about how silly your FSIL will look in that crazy dress!!!! Please do post pictures afterwards, she''s going to be a hot mess for sure.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Oh goodness, sweetie. *hug*

You do have a lot to think about, but I second and third a lot of the comments here. If your FMIL has nothing to wear, that is HER issue. You can't babysit a grown woman, nor should you have to.

Honestly, I would have your FI talk to her- she's his mom after all. I know it's stressful to have her be all over the place--no dress, no bows--but I bet you can come up with something even more lovely! Do you have any crafty BMs or family friends?

You should get someone to call about the RSVPs. As inconsiderate as it is, I bet people have just forgotten and need a prompt kick in the bum. Perhaps your FI or one of your BMs could help with that so it doesn't all fall on you.

Your FSIL is my FAVOURITE part... if I'd been drinking while I read I would have had some spouting issues! She is going to look absolutely ridiculous in that dress. If I were you I'd actually consider emailing him back and warning him of that, but I don't know if that is your style.

But... umm... pretty please... can you post a pic here? I just really have to see it!

Regardless, it is *her* that will look stupid. You and your BMs will look classy as heck and she will just be... very, very gold.

I hope your mom is doing well and that the chemo treatments are as successful as possible. I know it's not at all optimal, so I am sending thoughts and dust your way.

 

[KimberlyH]

Anchor, the anti-bridezilla:

- Our RSVP limit was yesterday and only 26 cards out of 46 are in... Only 33 people out of 52 are coming so far;
Divide the list of those who haven''t RSVPed into a few stacks, as FI and a friend to start making phone calls on Monday if they don''t come by then.
- FI''s mom still doesn''t have a dress;
Let her deal with it, it''s not your problem. I''m sure she doesn''t plan on coming in her skivies.
- FI''s mom (again) agreed to make pew bows and then backed out;
Have someone else make them, or let it go. The pews will still be pews sans bows.
- My mom''s last chemo treatment was move up to one week before the wedding;
There are no words to convey my feelings about this one. DH''s mom, who was 87 and in poor health at the time, broke her back and had surgery a few weeks before our wedding; she arrived in a wheelchair with a nurse in tow, a hospital escapee for the evening, it certainly was difficult but we just made do. It''s so difficult to mesh the sadness that comes with facing your mom''s illness at a time that should be all happiness, but it''s life in it''s best and worst forms. My thoughts are with you.
- I had to argue with the lady in charge of the weddings and proms at the hair salon (who is not doing my hair) to actually get a really hair trial;
And the straw that broke the camel''s back...
No comment as I don''t understand this one.
- My brother (who you might remember said a few months ago that he was thinking about "beating us to the altar") just sent me an e-mail with a picture of the GOLD prom dress his FI bought to wear at my wedding, that is not only way fancier than my sapphire blue BM''s dresses, but almost as fancy as my own wedding dress. Apparently, they "wanted to make sure she didn''t clash with his Navy uniform".
So she wears gold, and stands out like a sore thumb, in ten years it won''t matter, what will is that you''ve married the love of your life. I''d just let it go.

 

[enfianced]

Go to GNC. Buy "Rescue Remedy". Put a couple drops under your tongue when you get stressed. It''s a life-saver for me.

 

[doodle]

honey, if you learn the true meaning of one vocabulary word during wedding planning, learn this one: DELEGATE!!!! you have bridesmaids--their role isn''t just to show up in the dress and look good, but to help you if you need it. the same goes for your FI--he''s going to be your life partner--why not start now? he needs to talk to his mom and give her a nudge toward shopping. i think you going with her is a lovely idea as well--it''d give y''all some bonding time, and it''d give you a nice way to somewhat steer her in the direction you''d like for y''all''s day. as for RSVPs, split up the lists and get your bridesmaids, FI, whoever to call people up for a status report. as for the gold dress--NOBODY shows up the bride. period. she could show up in the same dress as you, and your happiness will translate into beauty that she just can''t pull off on YOUR day. chances are pretty good she''ll just look like an idiot.

as for your mom...chemo is chemo, and you really can''t help that. sounds like she has a very level head and a good attitude about things from the advice you said she''s given you. that kind of attitude is exactly what''ll pull her through, and you, too. my mom had breast cancer a few years ago, so i speak from experience on this one--a good attitude is the best weapon you can have with cancer. i wish you all the best in the world, and just remember--even if every guest you have shows up in gold dresses, your cake falls over, your FI gets stung by a bee on the @$$, and you trip and chip a tooth, YOUR DAY WILL BE AMAZING because you''re marrying someone who loves you and whom you love, and that''s what it''s all about. ((HUGS)) everything''ll be fabulous, so don''t panic too much!!!

 

[cincin090]

I don''t think you''re a bridezilla at all.

 

[anchor31]

Thank you all. It''s way past my usual bedtime but I can''t sleep, it''s nice to know that there ae still some people who care enough to "listen" to me at this late hour.

Date: 7/2/2008 10:30:09 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Aw, sweety. That''s a lot of stress!

Deeeeep breaths. Get some exercise. Try to keep things in perspective. It''s going to be OK.

Your FSIL will also look really, really silly in that gold dress. VERY silly. That can''t be helped. But it won''t take away from how lovely you and your girls will look!

I walk to work every day and that''s been helping me a lot. The hardest thing is that I can get a little obsessive about some things and it takes a little while to get better. I know she''ll look silly in that dress. My wedding is not a freaking HS prom. But I can''t exactly ask her to not be in the family portraits (as she''s engaged to my brother), so... ugh.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:33:55 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
I don''t think you''re overreacting at all. So let''s go through this one thing at a time. I know it''s probably rude, but can you or FI call the people who didn''t return RSVPS after about another week? When are your final headcounts due? FI needs to tell his Mom to get a dress, she may be your FMIL, but she''s his Mom. So he needs to call her and say hey Mom get a dress plz. Or, do you have time to go shopping with her? Maybe that would encourage her? Maybe you might not have time since you''re really busy. I am so sorry about your Mom I know this is a really rough time to be dealing with this. Please just try to be there for her during her chemo. ((Hugs)) And that is nuts about the lady in the salon. My salon actually tried to do the same thing to me. Hair trials are ''a waste of money'' according to the owner; however, I insisted and I will be doing one. One way to sneak it by I found out as well is to tell them it''s for bridal portraits or something. I think they fear it not looking the same and people getting upset, but if I were them I would prefer that over spending hours trying to figure out what someone wanted.

Okay and about your bro and his FI. Completely unacceptable. Your bro''s FI needs a new dress. Maybe that''s a bit bridezilla to dictate what someone else wears to your wedding, but she is going to outshine the bridesmaids and that is NOT okay. So I recommend explaining this to your bro as gently as possible and seeing if he will cooperate. If not, then maybe you could take his FI out to lunch and try it that way. Sure it may not work, but it''s worth a try.

Anyway, have a glass of wine and breathe deep. Bubble bath might be good as well. This is a rough time, but you''ll make it through!

Thanks honey. FI and I will be calling poeple wo didn''t RSVP next week. I just wish they''d show a little more respect... I will definitely ask FI to tell his mom to give herself a swift kick in the behind to get a dress. I don''t have time to go shopping with her, but even if I did it probably wouldn''t be a good idea since I''m not comfortable enough with her to tell her what I like and don''t like. Thanks for the encouragement for my mom. It''s so heartbreaking to see her sick and hairless.

And wat''s the deal with hairdressers? I''m paying you, just shut up and do your job! Sheesh! (I didn''t actually say that, but I sure wanted to...). I might be able to talk to my brother. I dunno. He said, and I quote: "I honestly hope you don''t think we''re too fancy... I wouldn''t want you to think we''re trying to outshine you, it''s not the case at all. We hadn''t realized your bridesmaids weren''t wearing any beading or embroidery at all." Thing is, I told him. More than once.

I''ll have to talk to him once I''ve calmed down, but I don''t know what will happen. My brother can be pretty volatile and it could turn into a full-out fight. We''ll see, I guess. And you know what sucks? I''m on meds for the next 3 months and I can''t even drink wine. GAH!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:44:54 PM
Author: Sabine
Awe, Anchor, I''m sorry you are so stressed and that other people are making it harder for you instead of easier for you. I don''t really have any advice, but just wanted you to know that I''m thinking about you and hoping things get easier!

Thanks for taking the time to write those nice words.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:46:33 PM
Author: mimzy
aww anchor!

if i could i would give you the biggest hug, then a foot rub, then pour you a glass of champagne (or ginger ale, whatvs)!

one thing at a time!

- put one of your bridesmaids or MOH on call duty starting tomorrow. or maybe your FI??

- not your problem! if she looks ridiculous in pictures, that''s no reflection on you. YOU''LL look fabulous

. no one is going to relate what she''s wearing to anything you''ve done.

- i bet you are better off. they''d probably look

cheesy anyways. can you enlist someone else to do this? martha stewart bows!

- i''m sorry about your mom, BUT you know it''s ultimately for the best for her and what could be better than that?

- you had to argue, but it''s over!

- WOW. this is laughable! i would let him know that it isn''t appropriate and that you''re only letting him know to save her from embarrassment. if she doesn''t listen to him, then again, it''s her that''s going to look ridiculous, not you

i''m sorry people aren''t stepping up for you anchor

but despite that i know that your day is going to be wonderful and nobody is going to ruin it for you as long as you don''t let them. keep your chin up!

Call duty is starting in a few days. But why are people so rude? You''re right about my FI''s mom... But I''d like to be able to look at my wedding pictures without cringing. FI will probably end up doing the bows. We chose simple "three-eared" bows in white. I know chemo is for my mom''s best. It''s just... it''s so hard for everyone. My dad is such a hero, handling the brunt of it and trying to be brave... but he works from home these days and doesn''t have much of a support system and I''m worried about him. Like many men he doesn''t talk much, you know? As far as brother''s FI goes, again I''d like to look at my pictures and not cringe from her tackiness! We''ll see if I can reason wth her.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 7/2/2008 11:45:03 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Anchor, the anti-bridezilla:


- Our RSVP limit was yesterday and only 26 cards out of 46 are in... Only 33 people out of 52 are coming so far;

Divide the list of those who haven''t RSVPed into a few stacks, as FI and a friend to start making phone calls on Monday if they don''t come by then.

- FI''s mom still doesn''t have a dress;

Let her deal with it, it''s not your problem. I''m sure she doesn''t plan on coming in her skivies.

- FI''s mom (again) agreed to make pew bows and then backed out;

Have someone else make them, or let it go. The pews will still be pews sans bows.

- My mom''s last chemo treatment was move up to one week before the wedding;

There are no words to convey my feelings about this one. DH''s mom, who was 87 and in poor health at the time, broke her back and had surgery a few weeks before our wedding; she arrived in a wheelchair with a nurse in tow, a hospital escapee for the evening, it certainly was difficult but we just made do. It''s so difficult to mesh the sadness that comes with facing your mom''s illness at a time that should be all happiness, but it''s life in it''s best and worst forms. My thoughts are with you.

- I had to argue with the lady in charge of the weddings and proms at the hair salon (who is not doing my hair) to actually get a really hair trial;

And the straw that broke the camel''s back...

No comment as I don''t understand this one.

- My brother (who you might remember said a few months ago that he was thinking about ''beating us to the altar'') just sent me an e-mail with a picture of the GOLD prom dress his FI bought to wear at my wedding, that is not only way fancier than my sapphire blue BM''s dresses, but almost as fancy as my own wedding dress. Apparently, they ''wanted to make sure she didn''t clash with his Navy uniform''.

So she wears gold, and stands out like a sore thumb, in ten years it won''t matter, what will is that you''ve married the love of your life. I''d just let it go.

I was going to answer, but Kimi wrote everything I was going to say!!, but I do want to say to you:
Anchor sweetheart, I am so sorry about your mother. I had no idea, she was going through chemo. My heart is with you and your family. I do hope, when this is over, she will be in remission and have that dreadful disease beat. I have been in remission for 15 years, so I am sending your mother tons of healing fairy dust and hugs.

Now for you: Your brother''s girlfriend is going to look absolutely ridiculous in that gold dress. We all know it.

And I double DITTO EVERYTHING KIMI SAID ABOVE

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:50:20 PM
Author: neatfreak
Anchor, you are so not a bridezilla! Don''t you worry about that. Just take a deep breath, have FI give you a massage, and think about how silly your FSIL will look in that crazy dress!!!! Please do post pictures afterwards, she''s going to be a hot mess for sure.

Thanks for the tips sweetie. I think I need a couple of days off!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 10:59:01 PM
Author: WishfulThinking
Oh goodness, sweetie. *hug*

You do have a lot to think about, but I second and third a lot of the comments here. If your FMIL has nothing to wear, that is HER issue. You can''t babysit a grown woman, nor should you have to.

Honestly, I would have your FI talk to her- she''s his mom after all. I know it''s stressful to have her be all over the place--no dress, no bows--but I bet you can come up with something even more lovely! Do you have any crafty BMs or family friends?

You should get someone to call about the RSVPs. As inconsiderate as it is, I bet people have just forgotten and need a prompt kick in the bum. Perhaps your FI or one of your BMs could help with that so it doesn''t all fall on you.

Your FSIL is my FAVOURITE part... if I''d been drinking while I read I would have had some spouting issues! She is going to look absolutely ridiculous in that dress. If I were you I''d actually consider emailing him back and warning him of that, but I don''t know if that is your style.

But... umm... pretty please... can you post a pic here? I just really have to see it!

Regardless, it is *her* that will look stupid. You and your BMs will look classy as heck and she will just be... very, very gold.

I hope your mom is doing well and that the chemo treatments are as successful as possible. I know it''s not at all optimal, so I am sending thoughts and dust your way.

Hello! I''ve been busy so I haven''t met many of the new faces. It''s nice to "meet" you, you sound like a fun gal! I always let FI do the talking when it comes to his mom. Since you''re relatively new around, you''re not aware of everything that''s happened since J and I first got engaged... And let me tell you that the woman has been nothing but trouble. Me addressing the issues myself would only add oil to the fire. And for you, my dear, I will post a picture of my brother''s FI''s dress. I can''t believe someone would even consider wearing a gold prom dress as a guest to a wedding.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 11:45:03 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Anchor, the anti-bridezilla:

- Our RSVP limit was yesterday and only 26 cards out of 46 are in... Only 33 people out of 52 are coming so far;
Divide the list of those who haven''t RSVPed into a few stacks, as FI and a friend to start making phone calls on Monday if they don''t come by then.
- FI''s mom still doesn''t have a dress;
Let her deal with it, it''s not your problem. I''m sure she doesn''t plan on coming in her skivies.
- FI''s mom (again) agreed to make pew bows and then backed out;
Have someone else make them, or let it go. The pews will still be pews sans bows.
- My mom''s last chemo treatment was move up to one week before the wedding;
There are no words to convey my feelings about this one. DH''s mom, who was 87 and in poor health at the time, broke her back and had surgery a few weeks before our wedding; she arrived in a wheelchair with a nurse in tow, a hospital escapee for the evening, it certainly was difficult but we just made do. It''s so difficult to mesh the sadness that comes with facing your mom''s illness at a time that should be all happiness, but it''s life in it''s best and worst forms. My thoughts are with you.
- I had to argue with the lady in charge of the weddings and proms at the hair salon (who is not doing my hair) to actually get a really hair trial;
And the straw that broke the camel''s back...
No comment as I don''t understand this one.
- My brother (who you might remember said a few months ago that he was thinking about ''beating us to the altar'') just sent me an e-mail with a picture of the GOLD prom dress his FI bought to wear at my wedding, that is not only way fancier than my sapphire blue BM''s dresses, but almost as fancy as my own wedding dress. Apparently, they ''wanted to make sure she didn''t clash with his Navy uniform''.
So she wears gold, and stands out like a sore thumb, in ten years it won''t matter, what will is that you''ve married the love of your life. I''d just let it go.

Thank you. I needed to hear that, really. You''re right, except for my mom''s chemo, none of this really matters. As for my mom''s chemo, there''s nothing I can do about it except pray that she will be feeling well the day of my wedding, and even that will not stop her from being there.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/2/2008 11:59:37 PM
Author: enfianced
Go to GNC. Buy ''Rescue Remedy''. Put a couple drops under your tongue when you get stressed. It''s a life-saver for me.

I''ve never heard of that... But it probably wouldn''t hurt. Thanks!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:10:59 AM
Author: anchor31

Date: 7/2/2008 10:59:01 PM

Author: WishfulThinking

Oh goodness, sweetie. *hug*


You do have a lot to think about, but I second and third a lot of the comments here. If your FMIL has nothing to wear, that is HER issue. You can''t babysit a grown woman, nor should you have to.

Honestly, I would have your FI talk to her- she''s his mom after all. I know it''s stressful to have her be all over the place--no dress, no bows--but I bet you can come up with something even more lovely! Do you have any crafty BMs or family friends?


You should get someone to call about the RSVPs. As inconsiderate as it is, I bet people have just forgotten and need a prompt kick in the bum. Perhaps your FI or one of your BMs could help with that so it doesn''t all fall on you.


Your FSIL is my FAVOURITE part... if I''d been drinking while I read I would have had some spouting issues! She is going to look absolutely ridiculous in that dress. If I were you I''d actually consider emailing him back and warning him of that, but I don''t know if that is your style.

But... umm... pretty please... can you post a pic here? I just really have to see it!

Regardless, it is *her* that will look stupid. You and your BMs will look classy as heck and she will just be... very, very gold.

I hope your mom is doing well and that the chemo treatments are as successful as possible. I know it''s not at all optimal, so I am sending thoughts and dust your way.

Hello! I''ve been busy so I haven''t met many of the new faces. It''s nice to ''meet'' you, you sound like a fun gal! I always let FI do the talking when it comes to his mom. Since you''re relatively new around, you''re not aware of everything that''s happened since J and I first got engaged... And let me tell you that the woman has been nothing but trouble. Me addressing the issues myself would only add oil to the fire. And for you, my dear, I will post a picture of my brother''s FI''s dress. I can''t believe someone would even consider wearing a gold prom dress as a guest to a wedding.

Nice to "meet" you too. I spend a lot of time stalking PS, so I am only slightly embarrassed to say that I feel like I "know" many of you quite well already.

I''ve read all about your FMIL of course... come to think of it, a babysitter might be in order. Or five.

I can''t believe how horrible she has been throughout this whole thing, but that is just one more reason to stay as far away from her as you can and let others handle it. Worst case scenario is that you are the best-dressed, classiest person present in most of your wedding photos. The people that stand out will stand out, but they will never be able to outshine you. I am, of course, totally psyched about seeing that dress. I am DYING of curiosity!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:03:07 AM
Author: doodle
honey, if you learn the true meaning of one vocabulary word during wedding planning, learn this one: DELEGATE!!!! you have bridesmaids--their role isn''t just to show up in the dress and look good, but to help you if you need it. the same goes for your FI--he''s going to be your life partner--why not start now? he needs to talk to his mom and give her a nudge toward shopping. i think you going with her is a lovely idea as well--it''d give y''all some bonding time, and it''d give you a nice way to somewhat steer her in the direction you''d like for y''all''s day. as for RSVPs, split up the lists and get your bridesmaids, FI, whoever to call people up for a status report. as for the gold dress--NOBODY shows up the bride. period. she could show up in the same dress as you, and your happiness will translate into beauty that she just can''t pull off on YOUR day. chances are pretty good she''ll just look like an idiot.

as for your mom...chemo is chemo, and you really can''t help that. sounds like she has a very level head and a good attitude about things from the advice you said she''s given you. that kind of attitude is exactly what''ll pull her through, and you, too. my mom had breast cancer a few years ago, so i speak from experience on this one--a good attitude is the best weapon you can have with cancer. i wish you all the best in the world, and just remember--even if every guest you have shows up in gold dresses, your cake falls over, your FI gets stung by a bee on the @$$, and you trip and chip a tooth, YOUR DAY WILL BE AMAZING because you''re marrying someone who loves you and whom you love, and that''s what it''s all about. ((HUGS)) everything''ll be fabulous, so don''t panic too much!!!

I''m sitting hear rolling my eyes at myself... Because you are right and I should delegate. I can be a bit of a control freak at times, and I have to learn to trust that people will do their best if I ask them to help me. But I have to ask. You''re definitely right about the rest too. 23 months ago I wanted to elope and nothing else besides marrying J mattered to me, and now I''m having a near panic attack because my brother''s FI wants to wear a gold prom dress?! Yeah,

anchor... Wake up. Thanks girl, I needed that.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:03:34 AM
Author: cincin090
I don''t think you''re a bridezilla at all.

Thanks!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:09:47 AM
Author: Linda W




I was going to answer, but Kimi wrote everything I was going to say!!, but I do want to say to you:
Anchor sweetheart, I am so sorry about your mother. I had no idea, she was going through chemo. My heart is with you and your family. I do hope, when this is over, she will be in remission and have that dreadful disease beat. I have been in remission for 15 years, so I am sending your mother tons of healing fairy dust and hugs.

Now for you: Your brother''s girlfriend is going to look absolutely ridiculous in that gold dress. We all know it.

And I double DITTO EVERYTHING KIMI SAID ABOVE

Linda, you are a great inspiration to me as a survivor. Thank you for sharing this. Thanks for the encouragements!

 

[Linda W]

Anchor, you are very welcome sweetheart. I had Ovarian Cancer. Please give your mother a hug for me. I will be thinking and praying for her.


Linda

 

[miraclesrule]

anchor, you are not going bridezilla. You have a lot on your shoulders. My heart goes out to you and your Mom.

Don''t give the brassy "gold" dress another drop of your precious energy. You will be the radiant bride and she will be...well, who cares.

You still have time to get the rest of your things done. The PS''ers will help you as they always do.

Breathe...Breathe....Look at your e-ring...and then breathe again.

 

[anchor31]

And for all of you fantastic ladies... I give you:

My wedding dress (in white/blue pastel):

My MOH''s dress, with an A-line skirt (in sapphire blue):

My BM''s dress (also in sapphire blue):

And... *drum roll*...

 

[miraclesrule]

It''s going to be a beautiful wedding and you are going to look amazing!!

I love your taste.

 

[cincin090]

Wow that''s beautiful! Everything is going to look so great together!

 

[anchor31]

My brother''s FI''s dress (in gold, of course):