Smtb etiquette

[Niel]

I've noticed recently an increase in people critiquing jewelry on SMTB.

Things like "I'm not sure that'll be comfortable"
Or "I don't know if that twist really goes with that shape"
Or "not everyone likes that"


And (I think) its an unwritten rule that you gush on SMTB and critique on RT or CS. Ignoring the obvious exceptions of people posting in the wrong thread or asking for advise, do you think it's appropriate to be critical in the SMTB forum, or should it just be for supportive comments?

 

[MissGotRocks]

I understand your point but when I ask for an opinion, I want an honest one. Gushing in an insincere fashion isn't helpful to me but I can understand that being critical might be hurtful to others. I think for me the difference lies in someone posting their jewelry for show vs. someone posting something and asking for an opinion or stating that they are not sure about what they have - especially if they have the ability to return it.

 

[Niel]

I understand your point but when I ask for an opinion, I want an honest one. Gushing in an insincere fashion isn't helpful to me but I can understand that being critical might be hurtful to others. I think for me the difference lies in someone posting their jewelry for show vs. someone posting something and asking for an opinion or stating that they are not sure about what they have - especially if they have the ability to return it.

See but is SMTB asking for an opinion?

In my mind, that's for showing off what you already decided on. Other forums are for critiquing. So I agree with you.

Like I said, if they ASK , I'd usually tell them.

But I see this on posts that just say "my new ring is here!"

 

[chrono]

In my opinion, SMTB is only for admiration. It's long past any other opinions and critique. I was quite taken aback when this happened in my SMTB thread from a seasoned poster no less!

 

[iLander]

I think SMTB should certainly be ONLY for nice compliments.

That's why it's not called CMB (criticize my bling).

I don't read others posts too closely, but if I do happen to see this kind of behavior I will call the poster out on it.

I have no problem doing that.

 

[Maria D]

I've noticed recently an increase in people critiquing jewelry on SMTB.

Things like "I'm not sure that'll be comfortable"
Or "I don't know if that twist really goes with that shape"
Or "not everyone likes that"


And (I think) its an unwritten rule that you gush on SMTB and critique on RT or CS. Ignoring the obvious exceptions of people posting in the wrong thread or asking for advise, do you think it's appropriate to be critical in the SMTB forum, or should it just be for supportive comments?

I saw that one and I thought the same thing! I love lurking on SMTB but I don't comment because I spend too much time procrastinating on the internet as it is. But that remark made me think maybe I owe some gushing to counteract any negativity - because I certainly do appreciate that so many people share their lovely stuff here.

 

[thecat]

I think SMTB is generally for admiration unless the poster is well within the return/exchange period and has expressed serious doubts about the item in question.

 

[arkieb1]

I think it should be a place for nice comments only, if you don't like it don't comment. The only exception is lately there are a lot of newbies showing up there posting items, saying what do you think or I am thinking of taking this back or asking about stones and ring styles which means their posts should be over in RT not in SMTB...... where they can get honest feedback.

 

[missy]

Well SMTB is for gushing and compliments true. But what if the OP of the SMTB thread asks a question. Do we answer honestly? I don't know what thread(s) Niel is referring to because I don't remember any recent critique in the SMTB threads so just commenting on this issue generally. If the poster of the bling asks a specific question I would answer it honestly. But unsolicited critiquing in SMTB? No way. If they are posting (as most SMTB posters do) to show off their bling then only gushing compliments will proceed.


ETA: OK just accidentally found one of the SMTB threads I think Niel is referring to and that poster who criticized the ring by saying it looks uncomfortable often is caustic in her/his replies like that. Doesn't surprise me from that poster and yeah it is not OK to post that in SMTB and the original poster was not asking for critique either so just no reason to have written that it looks uncomfortable.

 

[tyty333]

SMTB = nice comments, congratulations, etc UNLESS the poster ask for opinions. I saw a thread where someone posted
Is it returnable? I felt awful for the ring owner because that was not what she was looking for. The thread sort of came
to a halt because no one wanted to touch the thread after that rude question. I went a head and posted but I think the
thread was sort of dead in the water. I think the poster of "is it returnable" needed a reminder that that was not what the SMTB
forum was for. Whether a ring is my taste or not I always try to think of something nice to say. If I cant, I just leave the
thread alone even if the stone is not what we might consider well cut.

 

[PintoBean]

If I like the ring in SMTB, I will definitely give props. if I don't like a ring, i will refrain from commenting. BUT, just because I didn't comment on your thread doesn't mean I didn't like it - I may have just missed it !

 

[telephone89]

I remember a thread maybe a month ago asking for opinions on the stone. I said I liked the setting, because I didn't want to say anything bad about what appeared to be a poorly cut stone. I even said that the poster should move it to RT for more honest opinions.

So, I agree with you. I don't think SMTB should be too far into critique. If someone asks, I will try to answer politely though.

To be fair, I kind of feel the same about people harping on folks on RT. Usually the custom designs. We had the one recently, and then a while back there was the guy making the black opal & yellow diamond halo ring. Everyone said it will disgusting and ugly and should rethink, and I think eventually THOSE sort of comments get intrusive as well. We aren't the OP. We don't know what she/his FI will like. Just because we don't like it doesn't mean she won't absolutely love it. And when you've said the same thing 19 times, it's clear you think it's ugly, people don't need to keep repeating themselves. And ftr, that opal ring turned out beautifully!

 

[Niel]

I remember a thread maybe a month ago asking for opinions on the stone. I said I liked the setting, because I didn't want to say anything bad about what appeared to be a poorly cut stone. I even said that the poster should move it to RT for more honest opinions.

So, I agree with you. I don't think SMTB should be too far into critique. If someone asks, I will try to answer politely though.

To be fair, I kind of feel the same about people harping on folks on RT. Usually the custom designs. We had the one recently, and then a while back there was the guy making the black opal & yellow diamond halo ring. Everyone said it will disgusting and ugly and should rethink, and I think eventually THOSE sort of comments get intrusive as well. We aren't the OP. We don't know what she/his FI will like. Just because we don't like it doesn't mean she won't absolutely love it. And when you've said the same thing 19 times, it's clear you think it's ugly, people don't need to keep repeating themselves. And ftr, that opal ring turned out beautifully!

Yes I remember that thread about the opal and I liked their idea. I think it was perfectly interesting and fine.

 

[maccers]

I remember a thread maybe a month ago asking for opinions on the stone. I said I liked the setting, because I didn't want to say anything bad about what appeared to be a poorly cut stone. I even said that the poster should move it to RT for more honest opinions.

So, I agree with you. I don't think SMTB should be too far into critique. If someone asks, I will try to answer politely though.

To be fair, I kind of feel the same about people harping on folks on RT. Usually the custom designs. We had the one recently, and then a while back there was the guy making the black opal & yellow diamond halo ring. Everyone said it will disgusting and ugly and should rethink, and I think eventually THOSE sort of comments get intrusive as well. We aren't the OP. We don't know what she/his FI will like. Just because we don't like it doesn't mean she won't absolutely love it. And when you've said the same thing 19 times, it's clear you think it's ugly, people don't need to keep repeating themselves. And ftr, that opal ring turned out beautifully!

Yes I remember that thread about the opal and I liked their idea. I think it was perfectly interesting and fine.

I liked his idea too but ppl were very harsh in their comments. I *think* he came back to post the final product and it looked great.

 

[telephone89]

I remember a thread maybe a month ago asking for opinions on the stone. I said I liked the setting, because I didn't want to say anything bad about what appeared to be a poorly cut stone. I even said that the poster should move it to RT for more honest opinions.

So, I agree with you. I don't think SMTB should be too far into critique. If someone asks, I will try to answer politely though.

To be fair, I kind of feel the same about people harping on folks on RT. Usually the custom designs. We had the one recently, and then a while back there was the guy making the black opal & yellow diamond halo ring. Everyone said it will disgusting and ugly and should rethink, and I think eventually THOSE sort of comments get intrusive as well. We aren't the OP. We don't know what she/his FI will like. Just because we don't like it doesn't mean she won't absolutely love it. And when you've said the same thing 19 times, it's clear you think it's ugly, people don't need to keep repeating themselves. And ftr, that opal ring turned out beautifully!

Yes I remember that thread about the opal and I liked their idea. I think it was perfectly interesting and fine.

I liked his idea too but ppl were very harsh in their comments. I *think* he came back to post the final product and it looked great.

Yes he did! He even posted a video and I remember watching it before admins took it down haha. It was really beautiful and unique.

I think it's fine if people ask if the OP is SURE, or let him know that opals are more fragile, it's a very different design, etc. But the comments on some of the threads get very harsh.

 

[yssie]

I saw a thread where someone posted
Is it returnable? I felt awful for the ring owner because that was not what she was looking for. The thread sort of came
to a halt because no one wanted to touch the thread after that rude question. I went a head and posted but I think the
thread was sort of dead in the water. I think the poster of "is it returnable" needed a reminder that that was not what the SMTB
forum was for.

The person who posted this is the same poster responsible for Niel's first example of an inappropriate SMTB post (that missy also mentioned). This particular poster seems to delight in rude, aggressive commentary - I've learnt to simply scroll past his/her contributions. It's unfortunate that new members don't know that though; I'd hate for PS culture to be judged by this poor example

 

[House Cat]

SMTB should always be for compliments.

Rocky tally for constructive comments. I think it is possible to be kind while being constructive. The people of this forum usually extend a large amount of grace to others.

I think that it is a good idea to respect creativity on this forum. The risk takers are usually the trend setters.

 

[azstonie]

I've noticed that there are lots of views in SMTB and the comments to views number is usually low. I used to think that was kinda sad, showing your new jewel on SMTB is like throwing a party and only a few peeps show up?! Now I think well, considering some of the unpleasant comments I've seen on SMTB, that's okay!

Among my friends, we feel that when we attend a party we have certain social obligations and one of them is to talk to other guests, make singletons feel included, help as needed/wanted by the hosts, etc. So when I view a new jewel, even if its not to my taste I can see where its someone's Pretty Baby, they're inviting me to the party, and I can always find something about it that's positive.

 

[Kaleigh]

I believe that smtb is for admiration. RT is for giving your advice. Like say the person is looking at buying a diamond, and it's not a good cut,etc. Then say If it were me, I wouldn't buy it and give an option that is within buget and a better cut stone. You can be very honest and that's ok.

Now off to read smtb, haven't read in a long time!!!

 

[Haven]

I agree that SMTB is for admiration, and RT is for advice and feedback. What a shame that some people want to rain on someone's parade. I think it says a lot more about the nasty commenter than it does about the piece itself.

 

[Niel]

I've noticed that there are lots of views in SMTB and the comments to views number is usually low. I used to think that was kinda sad, showing your new jewel on SMTB is like throwing a party and only a few peeps show up?! Now I think well, considering some of the unpleasant comments I've seen on SMTB, that's okay!

Among my friends, we feel that when we attend a party we have certain social obligations and one of them is to talk to other guests, make singletons feel included, help as needed/wanted by the hosts, etc. So when I view a new jewel, even if its not to my taste I can see where its someone's Pretty Baby, they're inviting me to the party, and I can always find something about it that's positive.

Sometimes I don't feel like typing, but I often try and comment on everyone's just becuase no one likes not getting compliments.

 

[Niel]

I saw a thread where someone posted
Is it returnable? I felt awful for the ring owner because that was not what she was looking for. The thread sort of came
to a halt because no one wanted to touch the thread after that rude question. I went a head and posted but I think the
thread was sort of dead in the water. I think the poster of "is it returnable" needed a reminder that that was not what the SMTB
forum was for.

The person who posted this is the same poster responsible for Niel's first example of an inappropriate SMTB post (that missy also mentioned). This particular poster seems to delight in rude, aggressive commentary - I've learnt to simply scroll past his/her contributions. It's unfortunate that new members don't know that though; I'd hate for PS culture to be judged by this poor example

I'd roll past it, but it seems too often to be on a newbies post just happy about her ring. I try and "defend" the ring at that point t

 

[pyramid]

I remember when the Show Me The Bling sub forum started it was a place for showing the pictures and specs
only and it used to say and was repeated if anyone commented that the forum was not for getting help buy only
for pictures and specs. People were told to post in rockytalky if they posted in error. This will be seen on the older pages of the forum. Well that is how it used to be unless it is to be different now. People used to comment then too that if you did not like a ring say nothing or praise a part of it you did like e.g. the shape of the stone.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am not aware of the posts in question, but I would not make a negative comment in SMTB unless someone expresses concern and asks for opinions. I try to be honest and say something positive even if I don't love a ring. But if it is something I very much dislike, I won't post. As someone else said, I certainly do not read every post on SMTB, so if I don't post, it isn't necessarily because I don't like the item.

 

[Siameseroo]

I remember a thread maybe a month ago asking for opinions on the stone. I said I liked the setting, because I didn't want to say anything bad about what appeared to be a poorly cut stone. I even said that the poster should move it to RT for more honest opinions.

So, I agree with you. I don't think SMTB should be too far into critique. If someone asks, I will try to answer politely though.

To be fair, I kind of feel the same about people harping on folks on RT. Usually the custom designs. We had the one recently, and then a while back there was the guy making the black opal & yellow diamond halo ring. Everyone said it will disgusting and ugly and should rethink, and I think eventually THOSE sort of comments get intrusive as well. We aren't the OP. We don't know what she/his FI will like. Just because we don't like it doesn't mean she won't absolutely love it. And when you've said the same thing 19 times, it's clear you think it's ugly, people don't need to keep repeating themselves. And ftr, that opal ring turned out beautifully!

Yes I remember that thread about the opal and I liked their idea. I think it was perfectly interesting and fine.

I liked his idea too but ppl were very harsh in their comments. I *think* he came back to post the final product and it looked great.

Yes he did! He even posted a video and I remember watching it before admins took it down haha. It was really beautiful and unique.

I think it's fine if people ask if the OP is SURE, or let him know that opals are more fragile, it's a very different design, etc. But the comments on some of the threads get very harsh.

Oh wow I just read his two threads and they are full on! Some people here really do take their "expertise" a bit too seriously and get aggressive and rude when the OP respectfully chooses to not take their advice as gospel. I used to see a lot of this in the CS forum, luckily not so much anymore.

The poor guy just wanted advice on melee size! I can't believe people were still making snarky comments in his SMTB thread. The ring turned out fabulously so good on him!