megumic
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Sixteen and Pregnant
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Tacori E-ring
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Lauren8211
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This is one of my guilty pleasures! I love train wreck TV!
This season, specifically Nikkole, is ridiculous. DH and I were watching that episode together and could not BELIEVE the BF''s behavior in the delivery room. The couple was from Michigan and DH was so mad he said he wanted to hunt the kid down and give him a beat down.
I was flat out offended by how he treated her. Disgusting.
This season, specifically Nikkole, is ridiculous. DH and I were watching that episode together and could not BELIEVE the BF''s behavior in the delivery room. The couple was from Michigan and DH was so mad he said he wanted to hunt the kid down and give him a beat down.
I was flat out offended by how he treated her. Disgusting.
DivaDiamond007
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I watched last season and am watching this season too. I feel so bad for the babies. I wish that the mothers would choose adoption more frequently
I honestly don''t think that any of the girls portrayed on the show are ready to be good mothers and it breaks my heart knowing that these innocent children are being brought into a world of fighting and drama. It''s not a healthy environment and it''s not fair to the children.
On a side note, my mom was 18 and unmarried when she had me and when I told her how I felt about the show she asked if I thought that she should have put me up for adoption. I told her I didn''t know. My parents married when I was 6 months old and are still married. I had a good enough childhood but it gave me food for thought.
I think teens need to be educated about sex, pregnancy and std''s. It needs to happen early and often so long as it''s age-appropriate.
On a side note, my mom was 18 and unmarried when she had me and when I told her how I felt about the show she asked if I thought that she should have put me up for adoption. I told her I didn''t know. My parents married when I was 6 months old and are still married. I had a good enough childhood but it gave me food for thought.
I think teens need to be educated about sex, pregnancy and std''s. It needs to happen early and often so long as it''s age-appropriate.
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KatyWI
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y2kitty
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Hera
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When did you administer them an IQ test?Date: 3/1/2010 12:04:52 AM
Author: JulieN
Date: 2/28/2010 10:39:37 PM
Author: KatyWI
Um. I''m with Hudson_Hawk.
Is this a joke???
If not...
I''m very aware of how this statement comes off. It''s not a joke and I''m not backing off.
In a less rough/scary way, what I''m saying is that I think the girls are doing a pretty good job.
Hudson_Hawk
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I don't think it's fair or accurate to say or imply that people of a lower socioeconomic status than you (and actually some of these kids are quite well off-see the Farah and Maci episodes) are not as highly functioning as others who are more privileged. And it has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. You can have a very high IQ and be developmentally stunted when it comes to common sense. Yes, there are correlations between the poverty level and teen pregnancy; however, teen pregnancy does happen at all levels. To say someone who's poor has a lower IQ than someone who's rich is just an asinine statement, as is saying that someone with an "average" IQ isn't as highly functioning as someone with a higher than average IQ. Newsflash! The majority of the population has an average IQ, hence it being the average, but not everyone runs out and gets knocked up at 16! Your statement is so arrogant it astounds me. Do you even know what your IQ is or are you just making an assumption based on the fact that you grew up around other arrogant intellectual elites?
Teen pregnancies are caused by one thing and one thing alone, BAD JUDGMENT!
ETA: And just so you don't get the wrong impression and think "how could she have any idea who I grew up around." I grew up in an Ivy League town with an Academic for a parent and I went on to attend an Ivy League school. I'm totally qualified to reject your statements based on the fact that I too grew up around intellectual elites.
Teen pregnancies are caused by one thing and one thing alone, BAD JUDGMENT!
ETA: And just so you don't get the wrong impression and think "how could she have any idea who I grew up around." I grew up in an Ivy League town with an Academic for a parent and I went on to attend an Ivy League school. I'm totally qualified to reject your statements based on the fact that I too grew up around intellectual elites.
swimmer
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Tacori E-ring
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Amen sister! None of these girls planned on it. I cannot even imagine the twin episode that is coming up.
CNOS128
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jewelz617
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Date: 3/1/2010 8:19:04 AM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Amen sister! None of these girls planned on it. I cannot even imagine the twin episode that is coming up.I was actually really impressed with Maci. She seems the most mature and nurturing. He also has very involved grandparents (on both sides). The guy is a dead beat dad but these days having one strong, stable parent is better than none. I felt the worse for baby Lea (in the first season). No child should see their parents fight like they did in front of her. The girl actually hit Lea''s dad too in front of the baby I think.
Yeah, Amber and Gary (Leah''s parents) are ridiculous. And you can tell they think they are just SUCH a cute couple.
BARF!
He proposed to her with a $20 engagement ring from Wal-Mart, then went out and bought a $400 Playstation. This while they were broke and expecting a baby. I would have not walked, but raaaaan away from him!
megumic
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I won''t comment on the other drama in this thread, but I challenge everyone: if you became pregnant at 16 would you have been a good mom?? But of course, hindsight is 20/20.
It really bothers me that some are so quick to jump to the poor babies, and these are not good mothers, etc, etc. Age is not indicative of good mothering. While experience and maturity sure help, I know plenty of terrible non-teen moms.
I also reject that teen pregnancy is just about poor judgment - there is a heck of a lot more that goes into teen pregnancy than bad judgment i.e. education, awareness, access to resources and birth control, knowledge, a support system, socio-economic factors, I could go on. If you don''t have the wherewithal and awareness to even make a judgment call, how can it be bad judgment???
It really bothers me that some are so quick to jump to the poor babies, and these are not good mothers, etc, etc. Age is not indicative of good mothering. While experience and maturity sure help, I know plenty of terrible non-teen moms.
I also reject that teen pregnancy is just about poor judgment - there is a heck of a lot more that goes into teen pregnancy than bad judgment i.e. education, awareness, access to resources and birth control, knowledge, a support system, socio-economic factors, I could go on. If you don''t have the wherewithal and awareness to even make a judgment call, how can it be bad judgment???
megumic
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Lauren8211
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I watch this show religiously. I was a teen mom. I had my daughter 5 weeks after I graduated from high school. Three weeks later, I started at the community college, and 2 years later I transferred to the state University. My daughter was 4 years old at my under grad graduation, 10 years old and my first Masters and 16 when I graduate again in 73 days. I did not have family support. I did it alone. It was not easy or glamous or any of those things. I was not "the epitomy of irresponsible". I was on the pill and no one poited out that antibiotics/sickness could compromise the strength of birth control. I was the cheerleader, student council, lettermans club known girl in high school. I was not a tramp, her father was the first man I was with and he was a complete jacka$$ after he found out. She has not seen him in 11 years now. He was in college at the time and went on to graduate and the only thing he does is child support, and THAT was after years of court.
I don''t think the show is all inclusive. The slant what they show to give you specific impressions of the girls/guys to create a "character". These girls have no idea the ways in which they are being exploited, but I imagine they are getting paid and the money is needed. I was mistreated as a single mother. looked down on, judged for being unmarried (yes, people did look at the left hand) and it was assumed that my daughter would be "behind".. She is now an honor student who is set to graduate with the class of 2011. Life is what you make of it. It''s not ideal to be a teen mom, but the ONLY option is not abortion or adoption. There are some of us who have gone on to be excellent mothers. Its'' so easy for some to say what they would or wouldn''t do or what should or should not be done, but everyone''s life story is different and you never really know, until you''re there. My sadness is for the young girls who become pregnant and are mistreated, prejudged and looked down on. We are all people and maybe some peoples mistakes aren''t out there for all to see, but they are there. My daughter is not a mistake, she''s exactly who she is supposed to be, and born exactly when God wanted her to be, to the person God chose, who happens to be me.
I don''t think the show is all inclusive. The slant what they show to give you specific impressions of the girls/guys to create a "character". These girls have no idea the ways in which they are being exploited, but I imagine they are getting paid and the money is needed. I was mistreated as a single mother. looked down on, judged for being unmarried (yes, people did look at the left hand) and it was assumed that my daughter would be "behind".. She is now an honor student who is set to graduate with the class of 2011. Life is what you make of it. It''s not ideal to be a teen mom, but the ONLY option is not abortion or adoption. There are some of us who have gone on to be excellent mothers. Its'' so easy for some to say what they would or wouldn''t do or what should or should not be done, but everyone''s life story is different and you never really know, until you''re there. My sadness is for the young girls who become pregnant and are mistreated, prejudged and looked down on. We are all people and maybe some peoples mistakes aren''t out there for all to see, but they are there. My daughter is not a mistake, she''s exactly who she is supposed to be, and born exactly when God wanted her to be, to the person God chose, who happens to be me.
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This is exactly the point she was trying to make!Date: 3/1/2010 9:20:05 AM
Author: elledizzy5
If one thing is clear to me in this thread, its that some of the intellectual elite do not have any more ability to function in society.
Growing up in an environment that is intellectual, you are taught and absorb into your pores that your IQ and education are THE signifiers of your success. It is not measured in any other way.
When you are able to get out of that mindset, you find how incridibly demeaning it is to 99.9% of the population, and you are horrifyingly embarrassed to admit that you once thought that.
Being able to function day to day, and do it well and responsibly, is not measured by IQ. And should be valued appropriately.
(how did I do for clarifying?)
jewelz617
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megumic
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princesss
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No, I wouldn't have made a good mother. I was selfish, arrogant, and "invincible". I was, however, aware that sex could potentially lead to babies, so I chose not to have sex in high school. (I recognize that this could come off kind of high-and-mighty/judgmental, and that's not how I mean it - I just mean that I saw the potential results and decided not to take the risk.)Date: 3/1/2010 9:02:11 AM
Author: megumic
I won't comment on the other drama in this thread, but I challenge everyone: if you became pregnant at 16 would you have been a good mom?? But of course, hindsight is 20/20.
It really bothers me that some are so quick to jump to the poor babies, and these are not good mothers, etc, etc. Age is not indicative of good mothering. While experience and maturity sure help, I know plenty of terrible non-teen moms.
I also reject that teen pregnancy is just about poor judgment - there is a heck of a lot more that goes into teen pregnancy than bad judgment i.e. education, awareness, access to resources and birth control, knowledge, a support system, socio-economic factors, I could go on. If you don't have the wherewithal and awareness to even make a judgment call, how can it be bad judgment???
I don't think being a teen mother automatically means you'll be a horrible mom, just like waiting until your 20s or 30s doesn't mean you'll be a great mother. Some people are able to understand that their life is going to change, and they roll with it. I think Bentley is going to end up a pretty well-adjusted kid - Maci sucked it up, admitted to herself that her life was going to change, and seems like she works hard to be a good mom. Farrah, on the other hand, couldn't think about anything other than dating at how she looks. Honestly, I worry that she's the kind of mother I would have been in HS.
The girls this season scare me. Jenelle and her pot-smoking made me
And, like everybody else, I really respected Catelynn and Tyler. Talk about making tough decisions! They stepped up and were the best parents they could be by giving their daughter a better life than they could provide for her. They were one of the couples on Teen Mom, and I was impressed by how much they were helping each other and accepting each other. All the parents on the show made tough choices and did what they thought was best, but in general I think these two showed a lot more self-awareness than the other couples on the show.
lilyfoot
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So after reading this thread, I guess it''s bad that I''m not shocked by this show at all. I''m 21, so I graduated high school only 4 years ago .. there were TONS of girls that got pregnant throughout high school, or shortly thereafter. And no, this high school is not in a "bad area of town" or anything like that. I don''t know of any girls that chose to give their baby up for adoption.
Out of the at least 2 dozen girls I can think of with babies, only a few are married or in a relationship with the baby''s father.
It is unfortunate that it''s such an "epidemic". I definitely don''t think the show glorifies it at all.
As much as I do have "WTF" moments while watching the show, and as much as I would love to judge the couples on the show for their actions, I''ve (thankfully) never been in that situation, so I don''t feel the right to pass any type of judgement.
When I was 16, I lived on my own, worked and paid all my own bills, but having a baby in the mix would definitely have made my life a million times harder at that point in time.
Out of the at least 2 dozen girls I can think of with babies, only a few are married or in a relationship with the baby''s father.
It is unfortunate that it''s such an "epidemic". I definitely don''t think the show glorifies it at all.
As much as I do have "WTF" moments while watching the show, and as much as I would love to judge the couples on the show for their actions, I''ve (thankfully) never been in that situation, so I don''t feel the right to pass any type of judgement.
When I was 16, I lived on my own, worked and paid all my own bills, but having a baby in the mix would definitely have made my life a million times harder at that point in time.
HVVS
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No, they *failed* to plan on it. They thought it would not happen to them. I am stunned at how many didn''t use contraception, but were so surprised when they became pregnant. Even the ones who used bc don''t seem to have bothered to educate themselves on the chances of it failing and under what circumstances that is likely! And those stupid, boyfriends, if they aren''t interested parenthood, they need to take their own precautions.
meresal
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Teens ARE educated about sex, STD's, and pregnancy...
However, they are 16 and THINK they know everything. The phrase "THAT will never happen" is used on a daily basis.
DH and I watch this show and he is continually flabberghasted by the "Dad's" in the situation... and I have the SAME reply every single week... THEY ARE KIDS, what do you expect???
Especially Nikkole... the boyfriend fighting with the mom while they are in labor. He is 16 and thinks he knows everything there is to know about the world, why would you expect him to act like an adult in an adult situation?
ETA: I am actually more irritated with the parents who allow themselves to get into childish arguements with the boyfriends and girlfriends. It is ridiculous. There is NO REASON that you should be bickering with a child. Grow up and show your daughter/son how relationships are supposed to work. I feel like quite a few of these parents are children themselves half the time.
It took Nikkole's boyfriend's mom WAYYYYY to long to "set her son straight", and then he just left. LOL! Not in a million years would that EVER be acceptable by my parents. You are respectful to adults and your SO, and obviously that is not a rule that is upheld in ANY of these households.
trillionaire
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Your story is heartwarming, thank you for sharing!
On the converse, I think that exceptional cases like yours are used to justify that teen motherhood is more managable than it ends up being for most. Young people today are maturing a heck of a lot more slowly than previous generations, and I fear that shows like teen mom, and the 15-yr old pregnancy/marrige situation on 'Private Practice' normalize such life events for today's young people. I did not say glorifiy or glamorize, but NORMALIZE, so that they think it's not a big deal. (FWIW, I say the same thing about SATC and how they normalize sexual promescuity, and having 50+ partners as normal or ok). At any rate, there are a lot of young people that lack perspective, and I'm not sure that these shows help... on the other hand, it might be affirming for other teen moms, who deserve to see themselves represented, too.
I think the point is people make decisions all the time. Declaring them good, bad or indifferent is a matter of perspective. Not all teens "think they know everything" or are just being reckless either. It''s thinking like this that makes teens feel like their voice is not being valued. One health class in Jr. high does not make people educated about sex.. it just doesn''t. Sex happens all the time. People weather rich, poor, young or fully grown make decisions about sex that they wish they didn''t. There are many people on this board and otherwise who live in their tiny speck of the world and look down their noses at people based on their own arbitrary criteria. The same people that downgrade people on welfare or who have abortions are the same ones criticizing teen parents. Teen pregnancy isn''t a "rich people thing" or a "poor people thing".. It''s a HUMAN thing. There are educated upper class people who get pregnant all the time, they are just not exciting enough to put on television, or perhaps don''t choose to raise their child, or even give birth. Who really knows the true statistics. Not everything is placed out for public consumption. I am not naïve enough to think that just because I "made it" means everyone can. It wasn''t easy, it wasn''t always happy and I''m not sure that the grown up me could have done half the things that the naïve young me did, but I have no regrets.
NewEnglandLady
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Thank you for sharing your story, Sizzle!
My mother was a teen mom at 17. So was my sister. And now, so is my neice. They were all very smart, responsible women who admittedly made a big mistake. But each of them did what they had to do in order to make their child's life the best it could be. When it comes to the topic of teen pregnancy, I am actually very sympathetic. I would have considered myself a very responsible, mature woman at 17 and I did have a steady boyfriend. If anything were to have happen like it did in Sizzle's case, I would be in a very different place today. I am thankful that there were never any mishaps, but it is ALWAYS a risk.
I can't imagine the stress that most teen moms are under. I watch my neice try to juggle school, an unhealthy relationship and her children (yes, multiple now). She is under more stress than 99% of adults I know, yet she manages to keep it together because she feels it's what she needs to do for her kids.
ETA: I religiously watched the first season of 16 and Pregant as well as Teen Mom. I just watched the Nikkole episode of 16 and Pregnant from this season and that was very, very sad. Her desperation to keep her toxic boyfriend was hard to watch.
Tacori E-ring
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And what was even more shocking to me was that on the reunion show Lea''s mom mentioned she might be pregnant...again...
Meg, Would I have been a good mother at 16? I guess there is no way of knowing that. I do know that age does NOT equal maturity. I have always been very mature, very aware of consequences. I know I would have not drank, smoked, or taken drugs while pregnant (either as a teenager or now). I know I would have not chosen to date around instead of taken care of my child like Farrah. I know my parents would have been supportive but not enablers. If the baby got up early it would be me not my mom caring for him/her.
Sizzle, thank you for sharing your story. You are obviously a strong, determined person that you have accomplished all you have with a child. You are right. We are all human and as humans we make mistakes. But I really do believe most of us are just trying the best we can with the cards that have been dealt to us. I think this show may not show EVERY kind of situation but it does do a good job showing the struggles that teen pregnancy brings. The "Pregnancy Pact" obviously glamorized being a young mother and that made be truly and deeply sad. Some girls are looking for unconditional love and their answer to that need is to have a child.
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