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Simple proposal in a restaurant

kevindd992002

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Apr 6, 2021
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I already have the ring and my plan is to propose this month but I still don't have a concrete idea of how to do it. I'm thinking of a simple proposal. After dinner in a semi high-class restaurant, I'm thinking of maybe being led by a waiter outside or to a special room where desert is waiting there and then that is also where I will pop the question. Exactly the same idea in this thread:


I don't want anything super fancy. It would be just the two of us and I want it intimate and private. My ears are open to any alternatives. Can you please help?

Thanks.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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I like the idea a lot, its a classic! Personally I also wouldn't like people around or too much fuss. The proposal should just be about the two of you! I like the idea of popping the question at dessert instead of earlier. If you'd like to minimise movement around perhaps see if a private dining room is available and do dinner start to end in the dining room, ending with the proposal?
 

kevindd992002

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I like the idea a lot, its a classic! Personally I also wouldn't like people around or too much fuss. The proposal should just be about the two of you! I like the idea of popping the question at dessert instead of earlier. If you'd like to minimise movement around perhaps see if a private dining room is available and do dinner start to end in the dining room, ending with the proposal?

I called a potential restaurant and they do have a private dining room. Wouldn't that be too obvious though? I just don't want to spoil the surprise even though she kinda expects that I'm proposing very soon, lol. I'm all for minimizing movement but want to make sure that I still surprise her.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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I called a potential restaurant and they do have a private dining room. Wouldn't that be too obvious though? I just don't want to spoil the surprise even though she kinda expects that I'm proposing very soon, lol. I'm all for minimizing movement but want to make sure that I still surprise her.

Is there an occasion of some kind coming up that you could oestensibly be celebrating? Like a friend of mine, her boyfriend did a very similar proposal and basically said it was to celebrate her birthday.

Another thing you could do is to arrange with the restaurant (you’ll probably need a manager or something involved) to make it so they “comp” you the private room for some reason. So you speak to them, tell them you’re proposing and it’s a secret so you would like that you get the private room “by chance” (of course you actually pay for the room in advance or something). Maybe the maitre d can say something like “I’m sorry sir we can’t find your reservation” then you push back and say “no no I’m sure I made one, here is my reservation etc” and then the manager apologises, says the tables are all booked, but they can comp you the private room for the inconvenience or something.
 

bludiva

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is there somewhere else that's private or special to the 2 of you that you could go for dessert? maybe they could have the special table there at the 2nd place? or you could do something like, hey, after this let's get some ice cream and go to that garden/bridge/whatever special view point
 

kevindd992002

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Apr 6, 2021
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Is there an occasion of some kind coming up that you could oestensibly be celebrating? Like a friend of mine, her boyfriend did a very similar proposal and basically said it was to celebrate her birthday.

Another thing you could do is to arrange with the restaurant (you’ll probably need a manager or something involved) to make it so they “comp” you the private room for some reason. So you speak to them, tell them you’re proposing and it’s a secret so you would like that you get the private room “by chance” (of course you actually pay for the room in advance or something). Maybe the maitre d can say something like “I’m sorry sir we can’t find your reservation” then you push back and say “no no I’m sure I made one, here is my reservation etc” and then the manager apologises, says the tables are all booked, but they can comp you the private room for the inconvenience or something.
Having an occasion as an excuse would make it so much easier but unfortunately both our birth dates are still far off.

Aha, I kinda like that comp pretending idea. That will definitely put a bit of a blow to my gf's mood which will be perfect as preparation for the big question. So with that, I guess I shouldn't have the private room decorated with anything romantic so as to not give away anything, right? I might also need to ask help from any of the staff to take a video of that special moment.

P.S. I'm nowhere near a romantic person so my gf will easily smell something is going on if she sees anything romantic before the end of dinner :)

is there somewhere else that's private or special to the 2 of you that you could go for dessert? maybe they could have the special table there at the 2nd place? or you could do something like, hey, after this let's get some ice cream and go to that garden/bridge/whatever special view point
I cannot think of a special place to the two of us but I'll think harder.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Having an occasion as an excuse would make it so much easier but unfortunately both our birth dates are still far off.

Aha, I kinda like that comp pretending idea. That will definitely put a bit of a blow to my gf's mood which will be perfect as preparation for the big question. So with that, I guess I shouldn't have the private room decorated with anything romantic so as to not give away anything, right? I might also need to ask help from any of the staff to take a video of that special moment.

P.S. I'm nowhere near a romantic person so my gf will easily smell something is going on if she sees anything romantic before the end of dinner :)


I cannot think of a special place to the two of us but I'll think harder.

What you could do, if you go with the “pretend comp” idea, is to not have them decorate the room or anything so as to not let on anything, but perhaps provide them a bouquet of her favourite flowers to bring out along with dessert, and ask them to pipe “will you marry me?” On to the plate of dessert (this works if it’s a slice of cake or something which comes on a plate. Most fancy restaurants will do that). So when you ask for dessert they bring out a plate of chocolate cake (for example), along with a bouquet of flowers, and take some pics/videos of your proposal.

If you want to extend the celebrations, you can either book a room in a nice hotel as a surprise afterwards or just set up something romantic at home (I would personally prefer the latter). Bonus points if you can have a friend come into your house while you’re out for dinner and do stuff like put champagne in the fridge, lay out some candles (if you get fake candles maybe the friend can even switch them on for you), maybe put (fake) rose petals on the bed (fake ones because real ones might mess up the sheets); maybe get some nice bubble bath so you can run a nice romantic bath when you both get home for you two to enjoy together.
 

kevindd992002

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What you could do, if you go with the “pretend comp” idea, is to not have them decorate the room or anything so as to not let on anything, but perhaps provide them a bouquet of her favourite flowers to bring out along with dessert, and ask them to pipe “will you marry me?” On to the plate of dessert (this works if it’s a slice of cake or something which comes on a plate. Most fancy restaurants will do that). So when you ask for dessert they bring out a plate of chocolate cake (for example), along with a bouquet of flowers, and take some pics/videos of your proposal.

If you want to extend the celebrations, you can either book a room in a nice hotel as a surprise afterwards or just set up something romantic at home (I would personally prefer the latter). Bonus points if you can have a friend come into your house while you’re out for dinner and do stuff like put champagne in the fridge, lay out some candles (if you get fake candles maybe the friend can even switch them on for you), maybe put (fake) rose petals on the bed (fake ones because real ones might mess up the sheets); maybe get some nice bubble bath so you can run a nice romantic bath when you both get home for you two to enjoy together.

I like your ideas :)

As for the celebration extension, we live in a condo and I doubt I can pull of a romantic setting in the small space that we have but I'll see what I can do. I'm sure she will love this part if I decide to push through with it.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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I like your ideas :)

As for the celebration extension, we live in a condo and I doubt I can pull of a romantic setting in the small space that we have but I'll see what I can do. I'm sure she will love this part if I decide to push through with it.

Sorry for taking over your proposal haha but I absolutely love planning them and I’ve done so for all my friends!! You could set up the romantic surprise in your bedroom instead of the whole flat - give a friend your key, or if you will be meeting her at the restaurant without her coming home first, set it up yourself. If you don’t have a bathtub skip the bubble bath type stuff and just have a romantic playlist ready, candles, champagne and petals on the bed. Simple but romantic!
 

kevindd992002

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Sorry for taking over your proposal haha but I absolutely love planning them and I’ve done so for all my friends!! You could set up the romantic surprise in your bedroom instead of the whole flat - give a friend your key, or if you will be meeting her at the restaurant without her coming home first, set it up yourself. If you don’t have a bathtub skip the bubble bath type stuff and just have a romantic playlist ready, candles, champagne and petals on the bed. Simple but romantic!

No need to apologize, you're helping me a lot! I suck at these things, lol. Thanks again, I'll see what I can come up with regarding the romantic part of the plan.
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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No need to apologize, you're helping me a lot! I suck at these things, lol. Thanks again, I'll see what I can come up with regarding the romantic part of the plan.

Best of luck!! Happy to help if I can, if you run into any other snags.

Also for the playlist, there are several of them on Spotify or YouTube, I’m sure. Or you could make your own.
 

kevindd992002

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Best of luck!! Happy to help if I can, if you run into any other snags.

Also for the playlist, there are several of them on Spotify or YouTube, I’m sure. Or you could make your own.

Thanks! For the "pretend comp" idea, would it be better if before serving dessert I pretend to go to the restroom and when I get back I be the one bringing the flowers and the one serving the dessert will follow behind my back? As soon as my gf sees the flowers, she'll immediately get the idea. And then the dessert gets served (almost at the same time she sees the flowers) and she sees the words "will you marry me?" on the plate?
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

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Dec 5, 2019
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Thanks! For the "pretend comp" idea, would it be better if before serving dessert I pretend to go to the restroom and when I get back I be the one bringing the flowers and the one serving the dessert will follow behind my back? As soon as my gf sees the flowers, she'll immediately get the idea. And then the dessert gets served (almost at the same time she sees the flowers) and she sees the words "will you marry me?" on the plate?

I love this, maybe after bringing her the flowers, you can say a few words and get down on one knee when the dessert is brought out?
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Thanks! For the "pretend comp" idea, would it be better if before serving dessert I pretend to go to the restroom and when I get back I be the one bringing the flowers and the one serving the dessert will follow behind my back? As soon as my gf sees the flowers, she'll immediately get the idea. And then the dessert gets served (almost at the same time she sees the flowers) and she sees the words "will you marry me?" on the plate?

Oh that’s a great idea! Perhaps have someone ready to take pics when you come back with flowers (if you want those pics) so that you can capture her shocked expression. You may need to time it well - ideally you go to the restroom, on your way back from the restroom you collect 2 waiters (one to bring the dessert, the other to take pics). They wait outside the door of the private area as you take the flowers to her and capture her shocked reaction from the door. Then you go down on one knee and say a few words while the other waiter quickly places the dessert in front of your girlfriend and you pull out the ring just as the plate with “will you marry me” is in front of her. Tricky, but can be pulled off, and she will be over the moon!
 

kevindd992002

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I love this, maybe after bringing her the flowers, you can say a few words and get down on one knee when the dessert is brought out?
Yeah, I should say those words when I bring her the flowers since she'll right away know that it's happening. I've to think of what to say though :)

Oh that’s a great idea! Perhaps have someone ready to take pics when you come back with flowers (if you want those pics) so that you can capture her shocked expression. You may need to time it well - ideally you go to the restroom, on your way back from the restroom you collect 2 waiters (one to bring the dessert, the other to take pics). They wait outside the door of the private area as you take the flowers to her and capture her shocked reaction from the door. Then you go down on one knee and say a few words while the other waiter quickly places the dessert in front of your girlfriend and you pull out the ring just as the plate with “will you marry me” is in front of her. Tricky, but can be pulled off, and she will be over the moon!
Yes, the pictures are important, for sure. Should I verbally say "will you marry me?" at the same time she sees the words in the dessert plate in front of her? This is gonna be tricky indeed :)
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Yeah, I should say those words when I bring her the flowers since she'll right away know that it's happening. I've to think of what to say though :)


Yes, the pictures are important, for sure. Should I verbally say "will you marry me?" at the same time she sees the words in the dessert plate in front of her? This is gonna be tricky indeed :)

I think it’s ok if you can’t time it exactly, of course it would be cool if you could but in practice it probably won’t work like that. The good thing is that she will be excited and blown away anyway!
 

peacechick

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Love the plan! No suggestions except to say I wouldn’t worry about her knowing what‘s happening once she sees the flowers, she also needs to process and enjoy what’s happening too! I have a couple of friends who had the proposal flash by so quickly they actually blanked out and couldn’t remember the details afterward— a photographer is definitely a good idea.
 

kevindd992002

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Got it. I've asked a friend to be a photographer and he asked two more of our friends to be another that would take pictures from a different angle and another one to do video. I told him not to tell others but he couldn't keep his mouth shut, lol. I kinda feel it would ruin the intimate moment if there's too much pictures going on plus with an audience of three people and the waiter.

Is video really that important?
 

kevindd992002

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Also, for the flowers, my gf loves tulips and that's what I'll give her, twelve of them. Do you think it's better to give her 12 reds or 6 red + 6 pink?
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Got it. I've asked a friend to be a photographer and he asked two more of our friends to be another that would take pictures from a different angle and another one to do video. I told him not to tell others but he couldn't keep his mouth shut, lol. I kinda feel it would ruin the intimate moment if there's too much pictures going on plus with an audience of three people and the waiter.

Is video really that important?

Personally I don’t think I would want video, pictures is enough. I agree that the romantic intimate moment is what is most important.

As for which colour of flower - I think red and pink might clash? So 12 red might be safer :)
 

MagpieMama

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Random thought, but if she knows you’re planning to propose soon anyway, will she suspect and spend all dinner waiting for the other shoe to drop, while hardly touching her food?

Also, given that she knows you will be proposing *soon* could you tell her you want to scope out a potential spot for future engagement photos (or company/church picnic, family reunion, etc) before dinner?
Maybe some lovely gardens? Or a park or local landmark? In a frequently photographed place you could have the photographer hidden in plain sight.
Then you can go to dinner to celebrate!
Dinner can be a quiet/romantic affair with just the two of you, or you could have both sets of parents waiting to celebrate with you. Either way you could have a private dinning room beautifully decorated.
I recommended this to my cousin’s fiancé, although he got impatient and did something else.

That said, my MIL hijacked my husband’s proposal plans and insisted he propose on the spot at her house. Not especially romantic and very disappointing for both of us, but we’ve been married for ages now and couldn’t be happier. The proposal is fun/exciting, but a long and happy marriage is where the real magic and romance is found.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
 

kevindd992002

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Personally I don’t think I would want video, pictures is enough. I agree that the romantic intimate moment is what is most important.

As for which colour of flower - I think red and pink might clash? So 12 red might be safer :)

Got it. Oh and when saying those few words before actually popping the question and showing the ring, am I already in a kneeling position?

Random thought, but if she knows you’re planning to propose soon anyway, will she suspect and spend all dinner waiting for the other shoe to drop, while hardly touching her food?

Also, given that she knows you will be proposing *soon* could you tell her you want to scope out a potential spot for future engagement photos (or company/church picnic, family reunion, etc) before dinner?
Maybe some lovely gardens? Or a park or local landmark? In a frequently photographed place you could have the photographer hidden in plain sight.
Then you can go to dinner to celebrate!
Dinner can be a quiet/romantic affair with just the two of you, or you could have both sets of parents waiting to celebrate with you. Either way you could have a private dinning room beautifully decorated.
I recommended this to my cousin’s fiancé, although he got impatient and did something else.

That said, my MIL hijacked my husband’s proposal plans and insisted he propose on the spot at her house. Not especially romantic and very disappointing for both of us, but we’ve been married for ages now and couldn’t be happier. The proposal is fun/exciting, but a long and happy marriage is where the real magic and romance is found.
Whatever you decide, good luck!

Good idea but it's too late since the proposal is set for tomorrow and I went with the pretend idea above :) I agree that the life together that comes ahead would be more important, for sure.
 

MagpieMama

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Got it. Oh and when saying those few words before actually popping the question and showing the ring, am I already in a kneeling position?



Good idea but it's too late since the proposal is set for tomorrow and I went with the pretend idea above :) I agree that the life together that comes ahead would be more important, for sure.

The most important part of the proposal will be getting to hear from you how you feel about her. Congratulations, and best luck tomorrow!
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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Got it. Oh and when saying those few words before actually popping the question and showing the ring, am I already in a kneeling position?



Good idea but it's too late since the proposal is set for tomorrow and I went with the pretend idea above :) I agree that the life together that comes ahead would be more important, for sure.

Best of luck for tomorrow!! I don’t think it matters whether you’re already kneeling or not, both would be fine. It’s more about what you’re saying for your girlfriend. I think from a pictures point of view though, if you’re already kneeling you might get better pics. So go with whatever is most comfortable, if you’re not awkward about kneeling while talking then that’s better but if you’d rather be holding her hand and looking into her eyes, go with that instead.

congratulations and can’t wait to hear how it all goes!!
 

kevindd992002

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She said YES!:dance:

The "pretend comp" scheme was epic, lol. The restaurant staff said that her angry reaction towards us not having a reservation was very genuine that they kind of got scared for a bit, haha. Before the last dessert, I entered the room with the flowers, gave it to her, but she still had no idea what's going to happen. She thought it was just a casual giving of flowers. Then my friends got into the room with the usual face masks and apron on them, then I started my speech. She then realized what was happening and broke down in tears right away. She had no idea it was my friends taking pictures/videos until after she said yes because she was so caught up in the moment. After the moment, everything from the reservation error up to me on my phone more than usual (because I was chatting with my friends on what to do) all made sense to her and she was over the moon!

Overall, it was a success. Thank you everyone for the help. I really appreciate it :mrgreen2:
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

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She said YES!:dance:

The "pretend comp" scheme was epic, lol. The restaurant staff said that her angry reaction towards us not having a reservation was very genuine that they kind of got scared for a bit, haha. Before the last dessert, I entered the room with the flowers, gave it to her, but she still had no idea what's going to happen. She thought it was just a casual giving of flowers. Then my friends got into the room with the usual face masks and apron on them, then I started my speech. She then realized what was happening and broke down in tears right away. She had no idea it was my friends taking pictures/videos until after she said yes because she was so caught up in the moment. After the moment, everything from the reservation error up to me on my phone more than usual (because I was chatting with my friends on what to do) all made sense to her and she was over the moon!

Overall, it was a success. Thank you everyone for the help. I really appreciate it :mrgreen2:

YESSSSS!!! Congratulations!!!! It sounds like it went off even more perfectly than imagined! Wonderful news!
 
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