Should Women Wear Engagement Rings to Interviews?

[Dancing Fire]

"Don't wear anything that distracts from you, your answers and your accomplishments."

I find this works best, the rest is "garnish". Most inverviewers want to see competency in a well put together package, anything extra can make for assumptions.

agree,don't forget to wear a low cut dress...

 

[maplefemme]

"Don't wear anything that distracts from you, your answers and your accomplishments."

I find this works best, the rest is "garnish". Most inverviewers want to see competency in a well put together package, anything extra can make for assumptions.

agree,don't forget to wear a low cut dress...

*ROAR* It'd distract from the rock... Nice tactic

 

[HollyS]

If you are interviewing for a very conservative occupation, such as corporate lawyer, excessive bling may be considered inappropriate. Otherwise, I'd say no one will really give a hoot.

 

[pregcurious]

I would say don't wear anything flashy, and that changes depending on the situation.

 

[iheartscience]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

It's not fair and it's not right, but it exists, and I want to get hired and get paid as much as I possibly can, so I play the game!

On a related note, my first "professional" job was in academia and there was a very lax dress code. I partook in the lax dress code and wore jeans and nice but casual tops, just like my 2 direct supervisors. However, I think dressing casually harmed my credibility with some of the higher ups in the department. The job was miserable anyway, so I got out as soon as I could, but I've been strictly business/business casual at my jobs since. I don't even wear jeans on Friday.

I now also go by my full name and not the nickname that all my friends and family call me. My nickname sounds less professional than my full name, IMO. Gotta play the game!

Thing2of2, yes you are right that sometimes we have to play the game - especially if we hope to win! My husband actually works at my target organization, so leaving my wedding band off probably would not make sense. Although it is a large place, there is a reasonable chance that the interviewer(s) would know him. For the most part, I think this is an advantage because he is well-liked/respected.

I actually ended up wearing my wedding band to the interview for the job I have now because I relocated due to my husband's job. I figured it would come up in casual conversation and I didn't want it to seem strange, so I wore it! Sure enough, it did come up, although they were PC enough to say "partner," which gave them points in my book!

 

[sillyberry]

If you are interviewing for a very conservative occupation, such as corporate lawyer, excessive bling may be considered inappropriate. Otherwise, I'd say no one will really give a hoot.

That's funny, because I was thinking BIGLAW as one place where no one would remotely care if you had a big engagement ring. Other jewelry pieces might be frowned upon, perhaps, but man I've seen some big rings floating around a law firm!

 

[HopeDream]

I didn't wear my ring to my most recent job interview (on purpose), and I think it was a good move. They hired me, and a few weeks later, one of my supervisors who was at the interview commented on my ring, and said "It's kind of ...big" in a slightly uncomplimentary way. He's not really someone who notices jewellery or brands, so I guess my ring must be more obvious than I think.

( .77ct AVC on a size 4 finger, no sidestones/pave)

Just leave the bling at home for an interview - you can wear it when they hire you.

 

[Gypsy]

I always have and have had no issue. Heck I wore my Aurora Band to my last interview and got the job.

If you are going to be comfortable at a job, be yourself, otherwise the job you get may be perfect for someone that doesn't exist-- but not for you.

 

[centralsquare]

I would have never thought to not wear my engagement ring. Hmmm....interesting!

 

[Dancing Fire]

I didn't wear my ring to my most recent job interview (on purpose), and I think it was a good move. They hired me, and a few weeks later, one of my supervisors who was at the interview commented on my ring, and said "It's kind of ...big" in a slightly uncomplimentary way. He's not really someone who notices jewellery or brands, so I guess my ring must be more obvious than I think.

( .77ct AVC on a size 4 finger, no sidestones/pave)

Just leave the bling at home for an interview - you can wear it when they hire you.

but then they might fire you..

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

If you are interviewing for a very conservative occupation, such as corporate lawyer, excessive bling may be considered inappropriate. Otherwise, I'd say no one will really give a hoot.

That's funny, because I was thinking BIGLAW as one place where no one would remotely care if you had a big engagement ring. Other jewelry pieces might be frowned upon, perhaps, but man I've seen some big rings floating around a law firm!

Ditto. I thought the rule of thumb for law interviews was wedding set ok, but keep everything else minimal.

 

[mrscushion]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.
It's not fair and it's not right, but it exists, and I want to get hired and get paid as much as I possibly can, so I play the game!

Yup, this is what I do as well.

 

[GliderPoss]

Interesting topic! Um certainly never had that problem, guess 0.25ct isn't flashy enough... In fact I've always worn them to show that I'm a mature woman and not the petite teenager I appear to look like...

 

[MAC-W]

I always have and have had no issue. Heck I wore my Aurora Band to my last interview and got the job.

If you are going to be comfortable at a job, be yourself, otherwise the job you get may be perfect for someone that doesn't exist-- but not for you.

+1.



I've worn my ring to my last 4 job interviews and got offered 4/4. In fact one of those offers I turned down and then got counter-offered as an incentive to go to that company (I didn't take it).

It would never even occur to me not to wear my ring. Its such an integral part of who I am I would feel more self-concious not wearing it and consequently not perform as well in interviews.

Mind you I'm not a 20-something graduate fresh out of Uni. If I was, I might think differently, cos I can see how it could definately be an age thing as well.


ETA: It might also be proportional to how much your ring is perceived to cost versus how much salary you are asking for (and how much experience you are offering). eg, your ring is perceived to cost more than your annual salary - BAD! 10% of your annual salary - no problem Dont know if that the case or not - just a theory.

 

[stephbolt]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

It's not fair and it's not right, but it exists, and I want to get hired and get paid as much as I possibly can, so I play the game!

On a related note, my first "professional" job was in academia and there was a very lax dress code. I partook in the lax dress code and wore jeans and nice but casual tops, just like my 2 direct supervisors. However, I think dressing casually harmed my credibility with some of the higher ups in the department. The job was miserable anyway, so I got out as soon as I could, but I've been strictly business/business casual at my jobs since. I don't even wear jeans on Friday.

I now also go by my full name and not the nickname that all my friends and family call me. My nickname sounds less professional than my full name, IMO. Gotta play the game!

Thing2of2, yes you are right that sometimes we have to play the game - especially if we hope to win! My husband actually works at my target organization, so leaving my wedding band off probably would not make sense. Although it is a large place, there is a reasonable chance that the interviewer(s) would know him. For the most part, I think this is an advantage because he is well-liked/respected.

I actually ended up wearing my wedding band to the interview for the job I have now because I relocated due to my husband's job. I figured it would come up in casual conversation and I didn't want it to seem strange, so I wore it! Sure enough, it did come up, although they were PC enough to say "partner," which gave them points in my book!

I've always heard the same as Thing2, that you should leave your rings at home to avoid being discriminated against if you are a woman of childbearing years. Your personal life shouldn't be a factor in the interview, but unfortunately, the bias still might exist and it's nearly impossible to prove that was the reason you were not hired.

That being said, I wore my wedding set on the last interview I went on, but I was interviewing for a full time position within a company that I was already a contractor with, so they already knew I was married. I wish I had just gone with the band though, because I noticed when I was out at lunch with my now-boss and another coworker that my diamond was much bigger than theirs, and it made me a little self-conscious, though I have no idea if they noticed it or not. They hired me, so it couldn't have been that big of a problem.

 

[nfowife]

when I taught I did not wear my engagement ring to interviews. I certainly wore it every day to work, but I felt like it was a bit too much for a job interview for a job that paid just slightly more than my ring cost.

 

[kelpie]

Everything about the interview should be conservative: from a sedate well fitting suit, to grooming and makeup/fragrance. I wore just .80 diamond eternity band to my last interview. The context of the job matters too...I was interviewing for work on HIV/AIDS in Africa so maybe even that was too much bling. Meh, but I got the job. My interview piece-de-resistance is a bright red leather attache case from jack georges, it only has copies of my resume and application in it but it projects "I'm a winner". In my head it does at least.

 

[Laila619]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

 

[Alistra]

Kelpie, your attache sounds like a fun accessory!

I know this varies a lot, but wearing a conservative suit were I want to interview would make me stand out - in a bad way! I plan to wear something nice, but nice business casual not a tailored suit nice. It is a very casual environment (except for some of the upper management). Again, I guess it pays to know your audience.

 

[eleguin]

There are lots of reasons that an interviewer is not supposed to base a decision on (such as marital status, age, religion, etc) but they do, and no one will ever know exactly why they made a decision. My friend who works at a hedge fund frequently interviews people and she tells me that she (and other interviewers she works with) has a bias against hiring people who they'd need to invest time to train who may not deliver the returns that they're looking for. Such as married women who may have a child at any time and then either leave the company or take flex time. And she's also said that when she interviews people who are orthodox and need to leave early on Fridays and cannot work on Saturdays, that is in the back of her mind. She thinks about busy season and month end and how that person may not be as dependable as someone w/o ties who is willing and able to be a slave to the job.

I never wear my rings (e-ring or w-band) or designer purses when interviewing. The interviewer will form perceptions about you based on what they see. Whether they should or shouldn't is another story.

 

[iheartscience]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

How would they know this from an application? I've never been asked my marital status on an application.

 

[kelpie]

Kelpie, your attache sounds like a fun accessory!

I know this varies a lot, but wearing a conservative suit were I want to interview would make me stand out - in a bad way! I plan to wear something nice, but nice business casual not a tailored suit nice. It is a very casual environment (except for some of the upper management). Again, I guess it pays to know your audience.

Yes it does. I've only done one internship but when I showed up for the interview in a skirt and blazer I was sorely overdressed and one of the first things the interviewer said was, "Oh, we really didn't expect you to dress up" (he had called and scheduled the interview only a few hours earlier). But it can be tough to read, that was a special interest organization interfacing with capitol hill which are usually as conservative as they come.

 

[mrscushion]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

How would they know this from an application? I've never been asked my marital status on an application.

I think laila is probably thinking that most married women in the U.S. go by "Ann Peterson Jones" -- maiden name - married name combos that are pretty obviously two last names. It's true that this is often a give-away for me when I read women's names somewhere, e.g. on LinkedIn, but not all women in the U.S. do that and definitely not in too other countries from what I know.

 

[mrscushion]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

How would they know this from an application? I've never been asked my marital status on an application.

I think laila is probably thinking that most married women in the U.S. go by "Ann Peterson Jones" -- maiden name - married name combos that are pretty obviously two last names. It's true that this is often a give-away for me when I read women's names somewhere, e.g. on LinkedIn, but not all women in the U.S. do that and definitely not in too many other countries from what I know.

 

[iheartscience]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

How would they know this from an application? I've never been asked my marital status on an application.

I think laila is probably thinking that most married women in the U.S. go by "Ann Peterson Jones" -- maiden name - married name combos that are pretty obviously two last names. It's true that this is often a give-away for me when I read women's names somewhere, e.g. on LinkedIn, but not all women in the U.S. do that and definitely not in too other countries from what I know.

Ah, gotcha. Yeah I kept my name, so that wouldn't be a giveaway for me.

 

[Laila619]

I never wear my e-ring to job interviews. I usually don't wear my wedding band either, because married women are viewed as less stable than unmarried women (i.e. they'll get knocked up and quit). Plus I don't think my marital status is an interviewer's business.

I would assume most interviewers already know a woman is married from the application though, unless she still goes by her maiden name?

How would they know this from an application? I've never been asked my marital status on an application.

I think laila is probably thinking that most married women in the U.S. go by "Ann Peterson Jones" -- maiden name - married name combos that are pretty obviously two last names. It's true that this is often a give-away for me when I read women's names somewhere, e.g. on LinkedIn, but not all women in the U.S. do that and definitely not in too other countries from what I know.

Yes, exactly mscushion. And also, sometimes the application will ask if you've gone by another last name in the past, and since I changed my name, I have to say yes. Then I assume they figure out I'm married. Ah well.

 

[Alistra]

Thank you to everyone for sharing your different perspectives and experiences. I guess for me the bottom line for me is that I want to take care to not do anything to be eliminated from consideration. Of course this is a personal thing, and since I can't read minds I will never know each individual interviewers biases.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think it is too complex for a simple yes or no answer.

It depends on the job and the attitudes. For example, in some fields a woman being high status might be a good thing -- though this is relatively rare I suspect .

It depends on the woman and her personal style and way of presenting herself. For example, the woman considered "high maintenance" in the story by an earlier poster would likely have been considered high maintenance no matter what she wore. The same clothing *could* have connoted high status and sophistication in a woman who IS high status and sophisticated but not high maintenance.

It depends on the weather

I will admit in my field I would not wear my ring to interviews. It is unusually large for an academic and I would not want to distract anyone in a situation where judgement is the rule of the day. I also lock and load my bazoongas

 

[Haven]

I think it is too complex for a simple yes or no answer.

It depends on the job and the attitudes. For example, in some fields a woman being high status might be a good thing -- though this is relatively rare I suspect .

It depends on the woman and her personal style and way of presenting herself. For example, the woman considered "high maintenance" in the story by an earlier poster would likely have been considered high maintenance no matter what she wore. The same clothing *could* have connoted high status and sophistication in a woman who IS high status and sophisticated but not high maintenance.

It depends on the weather

I will admit in my field I would not wear my ring to interviews. It is unusually large for an academic and I would not want to distract anyone in a situation where judgement is the rule of the day. I also lock and load my bazoongas

HA! Belly laugh of the day.
Love it.

 

[Indylady]

That said, I tone my look down for interviews as far as it will go, in full knowledge of the above. You've got to get to a certain level of the game before you can start changing the rules.

Yes..very true!