trillionaire
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2008
- Messages
- 3,881
FBIL was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last March. He lost is job 2 weeks earlier, but had coverage through his wife''s employer. He had the cancer removed and was put on thyroid replacement meds. His last visits to the doctor showed his THS level was 55! Any docs would know that normal range is from .5 - 5.0, so this is crazy high. He was supposed to get some blood work done and also a CT scan to see if there were additional issues, but then they lost their coverage. FSIL lost her job in late December, so as of Jan 1, they had no coverage unless they opted for COBRA. COBRA was going to cost $1200/month for the family. Now, my dad is a doctor, and FBIL called my dad and talked to him about his options, insurance, etc, during mid Dec and my dad called and told me everything, because FBIL and his family were probably going to need financial help from FI and I and from FI''s parents, and he wanted to make sure that everyone understood the situation.
Since then, I don''t know what has transpired in terms of communication within FI''s family unit, but FI was really upset last week because FSIL signed up for COBRA coverage for herself and the 6 month old daughter, at a rate of $200/mo and FBIL, with his questionable health, will be uninsured, or has to look for high risk health insurance. Now, I don''t know whether they discussed splitting up the insurance, or if FSIL made a unilateral decsion, I really have no idea. I don''t really trust FBIL to be honest about what''s going on, because he has a pretty sketchy track record in this arena. On the other hand, FSIL is a total straight-shooter who doesn''t candy coat anything for anyone, even when she should, lol. There is still time left for them to change the COBRA coverage from 2 people, to the whole family, but they would need to talk to FI and FI''s parents, as well as FSIL''s parents to see if they are willing to help them with the costs. (my dad even said that he would help) I personally think that $1000 a month between 3 families is doable, while they look for jobs (FBIL is freelancing and FSIL had a second round interview last week!), but no one can help if they don''t know help is needed. The issue is, that if FBIL has a lapse in his coverage with his pre-existing condition, no one has to pick him up with coverage for at least a year. My dad says unequivocally that he can''t afford to take that risk with his levels being so far out of range. He could have a cancer recurrence with the types of numbers that he has now, and the medication does not seem to be managing it. My worry is that they try to save money now by foregoing coverage for FBIL, but end up in a crisis and bankrupt, as they have no savings or even assets at this point in time. I think it would be better to pay a little now to help them maintain coverage than to try to bail them out if something happens.
So, the bottom line is, FI''s parents are totally out of the loop, and FBIL is stonewalling. He won''t really address questions about his health and what is going on, and it''s not really even possible to get a straight answer out of him. FI won''t say anything to his parents, because he feels that there is no point if his brother is not going to follow through on what he needs to do anyway (which has been his track record.) Naturally, I am very concerned, and am not sure what, if anything, should be done. My inclination is to talk to FSIL and see what she knows and how she feels, and if they do want to consider the $1200/mo COBRA, then getting FI''s parents in the loop if necessary. However, I am NOT married to FI and don''t want to overstep any boundaries. FI and I have had more than a few heated conversations about this topic, and FI doesn''t want to talk about it anymore because FBIL is always dropping the ball. I suggested that he talk to FSIL, and he said that I should talk to her. (I wouldn''t do so without his consent) I''m not the type to meddle in other people''s affairs, but health is not something I think that anyone can afford to take lightly.
any advice? Mind my own business? Talk to FSIL? Any doctors who can weigh in?
I''m really at a lost, and it''s very time sensitive...
Since then, I don''t know what has transpired in terms of communication within FI''s family unit, but FI was really upset last week because FSIL signed up for COBRA coverage for herself and the 6 month old daughter, at a rate of $200/mo and FBIL, with his questionable health, will be uninsured, or has to look for high risk health insurance. Now, I don''t know whether they discussed splitting up the insurance, or if FSIL made a unilateral decsion, I really have no idea. I don''t really trust FBIL to be honest about what''s going on, because he has a pretty sketchy track record in this arena. On the other hand, FSIL is a total straight-shooter who doesn''t candy coat anything for anyone, even when she should, lol. There is still time left for them to change the COBRA coverage from 2 people, to the whole family, but they would need to talk to FI and FI''s parents, as well as FSIL''s parents to see if they are willing to help them with the costs. (my dad even said that he would help) I personally think that $1000 a month between 3 families is doable, while they look for jobs (FBIL is freelancing and FSIL had a second round interview last week!), but no one can help if they don''t know help is needed. The issue is, that if FBIL has a lapse in his coverage with his pre-existing condition, no one has to pick him up with coverage for at least a year. My dad says unequivocally that he can''t afford to take that risk with his levels being so far out of range. He could have a cancer recurrence with the types of numbers that he has now, and the medication does not seem to be managing it. My worry is that they try to save money now by foregoing coverage for FBIL, but end up in a crisis and bankrupt, as they have no savings or even assets at this point in time. I think it would be better to pay a little now to help them maintain coverage than to try to bail them out if something happens.
So, the bottom line is, FI''s parents are totally out of the loop, and FBIL is stonewalling. He won''t really address questions about his health and what is going on, and it''s not really even possible to get a straight answer out of him. FI won''t say anything to his parents, because he feels that there is no point if his brother is not going to follow through on what he needs to do anyway (which has been his track record.) Naturally, I am very concerned, and am not sure what, if anything, should be done. My inclination is to talk to FSIL and see what she knows and how she feels, and if they do want to consider the $1200/mo COBRA, then getting FI''s parents in the loop if necessary. However, I am NOT married to FI and don''t want to overstep any boundaries. FI and I have had more than a few heated conversations about this topic, and FI doesn''t want to talk about it anymore because FBIL is always dropping the ball. I suggested that he talk to FSIL, and he said that I should talk to her. (I wouldn''t do so without his consent) I''m not the type to meddle in other people''s affairs, but health is not something I think that anyone can afford to take lightly.
any advice? Mind my own business? Talk to FSIL? Any doctors who can weigh in?
I''m really at a lost, and it''s very time sensitive...