Should I mention this to house guests?

[kenny]

Recently, because of my SO's declining health, my in-laws often stay in our house.

Our water heater is way out in the garage.
It takes several minutes and (2.5 gallons of wasted cold water) for the hot water to reach the bathroom faucet.
My SO and I don't wait; we just wash hands with in cold water.
Obviously, we wait for hot water for showers, personally, I save that 2.5 gal in a bucket for a toilet flush.


We have this type of faucet.
Move the lever right for all cold, left for all hot, and the middle for a mix.
SO and I always leave it full right.

Our in-laws always leave it in the middle, though I suspect they did not wait for the hot water to get to the faucet.
If so, that means wasted water and gas.

I don't like waste.
I'd never tell them what to do in their house but this is our house.

Should I explain all this to them, or not?

 

[mtsapphirelovingannie]

I am sorry about your SO's health. I would not bring up this issue with your in-laws. It seems like a minor issue during a stressful time.

If you have access to the pipes, you can buy pipe insulation that may help. It is easy to install.

 

[Bron357]

Buy a locking device so it has to stay to the right ?
Unfortunately, re training “old people” is very difficult (I know, I am one and I am very difficult!).
You might have to roll with the punches as they say.
It’s very annoying I’m sure but it’s probably pointless telling them, they’ll probably forget what you said anyway.
Another old person issue.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Overall, the "hot" water used to wash your hands (and truly get them clean), pays dividends to everyone's overall health and wellbeing

cheers--Sharon

 

[kenny]

HI:

Overall, the "hot" water used to wash your hands (and truly get them clean), pays dividends to everyone's overall health and wellbeing

cheers--Sharon

That's what I always thought.
Recently I've read stuff saying water temp doesn't make much difference.

https://www.today.com/health/right-water-temperature-wash-hands-may-surprise-you-t112239

 

[cflutist]

Nice faucet, we have the same ones.
With the drought in CA this might be a touchy subject.
I would explain it to your in-laws because they are considered family but would not mention it to other house guests.
My house is plumbed for circulating hot water (almost instant hot) so we leave it in the middle. Washing hands in cold water reminds me of camping in the National Parks.

Sorry about your SO.

 

[canuk-gal]

That's what I always thought.
Recently I've read stuff saying water temp doesn't make much difference.

https://www.today.com/health/right-water-temperature-wash-hands-may-surprise-you-t112239

Yes, friction plays a big part. Outside of surgeons, who scrubs their hands/nails?

Perhaps your family is accustomed to their "hot/warm" hand wash routine. If people are happy to wash their hands, regardless of temp--that is a good thing. I would never discourage that--not worth your well being to point it out (stress, a few bucks). Hope all is well with you and yours.

cheers--Sharon

 

[nala]

You should do whatever makes you happy.

 

[kenny]

Thanks all.
I'm not going to mention it.

I'm weird and Spock-like. (that robot-like "Vulcan" on Star Trek)
I've come to realize how little I take people's feelings into account; rather I'm guided by what makes the most sense.
Wasting water/gas/money by pulling hot water only half way from the garage makes no sense; it uses only water from the 'hot' tap that is still cold.

This is not about getting people to use cold instead of hot water.
If I were to bring this up I'd first state, "By all means use hot water if you ARE waiting for it to arrive, no problem! ... but if you are not waiting for the water to get hot, then leave the faucet fully right in the cold position"

There's a lyric in a Paul Simon song that resonates ... "Maybe I think too much."

 

[kenny]

Just had a thought.
I could turn the hot water valve under the sink to off.
If they tell me there is no hot water I'll know they really use it.
If I hear nothing they don't use it and I'll just leave it off during their visit.
MIL did tell me the kitchen sink's hot water was cool when she tried to wash dishes yesterday ... then I relit the pilot light in the garage.

 

[kenny]

Apparently I'm like the Dutch.

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20180131-where-dutch-directness-comes-from

Partial snip:
...
To Coates, the differences between his native Britain and the Netherlands were immediately noticeable. In Great Britain, he says, people tend to communicate and behave in a way that minimises offense to other people.

“You don’t talk too loudly on the train because it’s not too nice for the people in your compartment; you don’t play your music too loud in your apartment because it’s not so nice for your neighbours; there is this constant calibrating of your own behaviour,” Coates explained. But in the Netherlands, there is “the sense that people have the right to say whatever they want and be as direct as they want. And if other people don’t like that, it’s their fault for getting offended.”
...

 

[rainwood]

If these people were normal house guests, I'd say yes. But they aren't. They are your SO's parents who are visiting because he's in declining health. They have enough on their minds and their hearts already.

 

[Matata]

Kenny, have you considered a tankless water heater? They're supposed to be energy efficient. We have a standard one in our garage and it takes a loooooong time for hot water to get to the master bath and I'm having a tankless or instant on type of heater installed this spring.

 

[canuk-gal]

Just had a thought.
I could turn the hot water valve under the sink to off.
If they tell me there is no hot water I'll know they really use it.
If I hear nothing they don't use it and I'll just leave it off during their visit.
MIL did tell me the kitchen sink's hot water was cool when she tried to wash dishes yesterday ... then I relit the pilot light in the garage.[/QUOTE


Your family is doing dishes? Do they like cold and snow?

 

[mtsapphirelovingannie]

Just had a thought.
I could turn the hot water valve under the sink to off.
If they tell me there is no hot water I'll know they really use it.
If I hear nothing they don't use it and I'll just leave it off during their visit.
MIL did tell me the kitchen sink's hot water was cool when she tried to wash dishes yesterday ... then I relit the pilot light in the garage.

If I was the recipient of this "trick" as a house guest I would feel very unwelcome.

Rather than the subterfuge, I suggest you politely explain your concerns.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

When I wash my hands I wait for the water to get warm, the cold water hurts my hands. If the water didn't get at least warm I would probably tell the homeowner that they were having problems with their plumbing. But I'm also in NY which means if the water is not heated it's just above freezing. If it was Cali temp I'm not sure if it would matter.

 

[Maria D]

I'm confused, why would they place the handle in the middle if they did not want (and were therefore not waiting for) the water to get warm/hot? I feel like I'm misunderstanding how it works. We leave our faucet turned all the way to the right because the default is getting cold water to drink. We don't drink warm water. But if I want to wash my hands or have very hot water for washing pans I turn it to the appropriate position and wait for the water to get to the right temp.

Are you saying they leave the handle in the middle position even if they want cold water? Are you sure they aren't just shutting it off in middle position but when they want cold water they turn it on to the right?

 

[KristinTech]

Don’t be like Spock! I’m sorry about your SO, and this whole situation must be stressful for everyone. If anything, I might place a nice little note that lets guests know, “Warm water takes about 60 seconds to reach the faucet” or something like that. Then guests will know and choose what they need or want.

 

[kenny]

Kenny, have you considered a tankless water heater? They're supposed to be energy efficient. We have a standard one in our garage and it takes a loooooong time for hot water to get to the master bath and I'm having a tankless or instant on type of heater installed this spring.

Thanks, yes.
When our WH finally dies I may get that, though it would require expensive upgrades to the electrical wiring.

BTW, I think I mentioned when I bought this house almost 20 years ago the inspector told me the WH must be replaced immediately since it's so old.
It's still going strong.

I'm a super tightwad with money.

 

[kenny]

I'm confused, why would they place the handle in the middle if they did not want (and were therefore not waiting for) the water to get warm/hot?

Well, it's possible they may be as impatient as my SO and I are so they just wash with whatever temp of water comes out first and are not even paying attention to where the lever is.

I could understand this being so insignificant to to some folks that it's not even worth paying attention to ... purely speculation on my part.
I mean, look at how wasteful zillions of Americans are in zillions of ways.
If there, is a green scale 16 years of knowing them tells me I'm on the green end, and they are on the opposite end.
If they were on the green end with me they would want to know about this topic so they could help avoid waste.

I don't know whether they are waiting for the hot water or not.
All I know is the faucet gets left in the middle or the hot position whenever they leave the bathroom.
( I guess I could enter after they exit and feel the pipe. If hot, then they are waiting.)
If they are waiting for and using hot water, all is well.

Of course I have no problem with anyone using hot water or with the 2.5 gallons of cold water that gets wasted down the drain to get the hot water to the faucet.
(I'd never ask them to be as whacko as I am by saving that 2.5 gal in a bucket. Though my MIL did ask what the occasional water in the pale was for. I told her and she said that's clever, and good for California's drought.)

If they are not waiting for the hot water to reach the faucet then water/gas/money is being wasted.
As it is I'll never know.
I now accept that and am letting it go.

...

Are you saying they leave the handle in the middle position even if they want cold water? Are you sure they aren't just shutting it off in middle position but when they want cold water they turn it on to the right?

I'm not sure.
I have not asked them and do not have a spycam in the bathroom , and based on responses here I won't bring this up with them.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I wouldn't tell them either. They must be super stressed out about your SO's health. I would be kind and let it go.

 

[TooPatient]

Another point of view...

I have never seen a faucet like that. (Love the look, btw!) Our faucets that don't have hot/cold on separate handles have to be near the middle when shut off or they don't go off. This is what I grew up with too.

They probably already feel a bit out of place in a home with such nice things. Mentioning that they can't even turn water on/off correctly would probably just make them feel even more out of place.

 

[Calliecake]

I’m sorry about your SO Kenny. It sounds like a stressful time for all of you,

Don’t laugh but I would put the lever back to the middle position after using the faucet just because it looks perfect that way. I would also dry off any water that may have splashed onto the faucet. Could it be your SO’s mom is a neat freak?

 

[Maria D]

For some reason I thought you were talking about the kitchen sink but I just reread your original post and see that you clearly said bathroom sink. Now I’m more confused than ever

Of course they are wanting warm water! I mean I would it’s just more comfortable to wash hands in warm water even if it could be proven to be negligibly more sanitary than cold. It sounds like you are saying you don’t mind if they wait for the water to turn warm, even if it means wasting 2.5 gallons of cold water. But, if they intended to wait for warm and then got tired of waiting for it so went ahead and started and finished with cold, thereby getting the hot water heater running in vain - then you are irked. I’m glad you’ve decided to let this go. I don’t know how one can communicate that one doesn’t mind if you waste a lot of cold water to get warm if warm water was actually the intent but one does mind if you gave up too soon and didn’t stick with your intentions.

Also, I’ve had the same experience as Too Patient: single handle faucets that leak if they aren’t shut in the middle.

 

[PintoBean]

This is interesting bc my kitchen faucet is also like that and even if I use the cold or hot, when I have it off my habit is to shift the lever back to center bc that looks neutral and balanced to me. The off position has no reflection upon if I just used cold or hot.

 

[missy]

No I wouldn't. Guests are guests and for me the number one rule when having guests over is to be gracious and a good host. So I wouldn't say a word. it's not a big deal and they won't be there forever.

 

[pinkjewel]

I just wanted to touch on the subject of tankless water heaters. Unfortunately, they are not "instant" hot water heaters despite what you may have heard. I've had them in my last 2 new houses, so I know. They can actually take quite awhile to send hot water to your taps. However, once they are on- they won't run out of hot water like a normal hot water tank can. I still like them and would always get one installed over a regular water heater. One thing I would also note is if you live in a climate that has freezing temps- don't let them install it outside. When our temps got cold recently lots of people who had them outside had frozen pipes!

And about your question, Kenny- I voted "No". I try to be as hospitable to a guest as I can and I personally like to wash my hands in warm water, not cold as cold water tends to dry my skin quicker.

 

[monarch64]

I want to write a poem called “The Telltale Faucet.”

As a guest I’d never consider the issue of waste; I’d be patient enough to wait for hot water, though. Growing up it took forever for water to get hot in my bathroom and I just assume I need to wait whenever water runs cold for more than a few seconds at someone’s house.

Kenny since you’ve made mention of what the water pail is there for and your MIL thought it was clever, I think it’s possible to tell your SO’s folks without it being offensive. I have an idea of how I personally would approach it: “oh by the way, I keep meaning to tell you but we’re used to it so I forget—it takes a minute for the hot water to reach the bathroom sink, so if you want hot water you’ll have to give it a minute or just leave it on cold, that way the water heater doesn’t have to work and waste energy. You know how I am about conserving resources, haha.” Maybe tweak that to something light that would actually come out of your mouth and move on. Your MIL was receptive before and mentioned the drought. I’m guessing from reading this thread that she’d feel the same about the water in the bathroom.

If anything it will give you all something to talk about and I disagree that now is not the time because things are stressful. In my experience the heaviness of dealing with health issues in a loved one can be alleviated for a little bit by some levity or by focusing on something else. Kenny nor his in-laws have control over his so’s health, but they CAN control their utilization of resources. And they can direct any anger or stress either towards the bathroom sink or at Kenny, giving them an outlet to express some pent up grief and sadness. See Kenny, you may actually be helping.

I just don’t think it’s healthy to tiptoe around folks for etiquette’s sake. Just my personal philosophy. There are ways to approach things so that people don’t feel personally slighted or uncomfortable or that they’ve done something wrong. Put the onus on yourself as trying to help them be as comfortable as possible with their hot water preferences and explain your intentions of conservation at the same time. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

 

[tyty333]

I just wanted to touch on the subject of tankless water heaters. Unfortunately, they are not "instant" hot water heaters despite what you may have heard. I've had them in my last 2 new houses, so I know. They can actually take quite awhile to send hot water to your taps. However, once they are on- they won't run out of hot water like a normal hot water tank can. I still like them and would always get one installed over a regular water heater. One thing I would also note is if you live in a climate that has freezing temps- don't let them install it outside. When our temps got cold recently lots of people who had them outside had frozen pipes!

And about your question, Kenny- I voted "No". I try to be as hospitable to a guest as I can and I personally like to wash my hands in warm water, not cold as cold water tends to dry my skin quicker.

You mean my teenage kids would have no incentive to ever get out of the shower??? Right now, the only thing that gets them out is the hot water going
cold or me yelling at them to get out!

Kenny...you're lucky you dont have teenage kids...talk about wasteful!

 

[OoohShiny]

You mean my teenage kids would have no incentive to ever get out of the shower??? Right now, the only thing that gets them out is the hot water going
cold or me yelling at them to get out!

Kenny...you're lucky you dont have teenage kids...talk about wasteful!

I lol'd a bit at this - IIRC there's a whole other thread about showering times, and I am definitely not quick - I couldn't have a 'military' 5-minutes for 'a sh**, a shower and a shave'...

No-tank systems are common in the UK - with houses and flats so tiny generally, not needing the space for a tank is a benefit, plus one doesn't have a whole heated tank going cold while one is at work all day!

@kenny - I recall there are 'instant boiling water' taps, which are installed next to the kitchen sink and remove the need for a kettle. Presumably their temperature setting could be turned down to hand-washing temperature