Should I change my Asscher setting?

[moonflower0906]

Hi there. I've lurked on this board for tips but never posted before. This time I'm hoping to get some more specific advice.

Last year, my fiance took me ring shopping to pick out the exact ring I always dreamed of: an Asscher solitaire on a thin rose gold band, with white gold prongs. We specifically wanted something different than any rings we normally see. I loved solitaires since they highlight the one diamond. I also thought it would make the Asscher, which I've loved for years, stand out since its a unique cut and we didn't know anyone else who had one.

We got engaged and I was very happy with it. Here it is below right after a cleaning at it's very cleanest and the side setting:


Stats:
1.35 carats
H color
VVS2
Very good cut
Very good (or excellent?) symmetry
No florescence
1.0 ratio

I picked out two wedding bands for it for a stacked look. We haven't gotten married yet. The stack:

The two bands:

1. Classic rose gold pave
2. White gold with rounds and baguettes

The entire set was thought out carefully to be a play on contrasts of metal and pave, white gold and rose gold, brilliant cuts and step cuts.

Then over the months, I started to feel like the ring wasn't sparkly or white enough. It's super sparkly right after its cleaned but the stacked photo gives a more accurate look at it on a normal day. I did some research and found out we basically did everything we could to not make it sparkly: we chose a step cut, we didn't choose white gold and we got a solitaire. After reading that, I started to question the choice of the ring and eventually we spoke to our jeweler.

Our jeweler has been pretty flexible with the swapping the setting and even says he will let us return one of the wedding bands to pay for an increase in a new setting, if that's what we wanted.

I considered changing the shape of the diamond entirely but he said we'd have to upgrade the diamond by a lot more than we were willing to and he urged me to not since the Asscher is so unique and I've wanted it for so long.

He recommended a halo but we personally don't like halos. We tried 3 stone but it looked clunky (I am quite petite). So, this left a pave band. I tried a few on and it came down to these two:

Option A:


This band is thinner so it matches the width of my other bands but our jeweler says with such small diamonds, it won't increase the shimmer factor that much.

Option B:

Apologies for the weird angle on this one.

Our jeweler recommends this one because he says it's wider and the diamonds will shine more but the fact its wider than the wedding bands bothers me! I've seen stacked rings with different widths but it's usually the wedding band that's wider, not the engagement band.

If I have 2-3 pave bands, I will probably get a plain band eventually because I think stack rings need some metal. I'm keeping the option for adding bands in the future open-ended.

He also recommends I consider switching to white gold because it'll make the ring shine more. I am hesitant since rose gold is my signature color. :/

It seems to me if I have an Asscher, I need to either choose to make it white gold and/or add side diamonds OR accept that it won't be as sparkly with a rose gold solitaire setting.

I have a few options here.

1. Buy either pave band in white gold but still keep my rose gold band and maybe the second white gold band. Convince myself that one band is enough rose gold.
2. Buy a pave band in rose gold and match it with the rose gold pave wedding band or both. Accept that it'll be a bit less shiny.
3. Buy the wider pave band (option b) and match it with the white gold band because its the slightest bit thicker but will still be off.
4. Change my solitaire to white gold and keep the other two bands (Swap the order I wear them in). Convince myself that one band is enough rose gold.
5. Forget the entire thing and accept that it won't be as shiny. Don't bother with the thin pave band because it doesn't make enough difference. Clean my ring with the ultrasonic cleaner every week, which my jeweler says will not harm the ring. Trust that the two wedding bands add the bling factor. I'm worried that I'm getting confused and second guessing myself with all the wedding decisions I've had to make and maybe I should stick to my guns on my long time vision.

So I guess I have a few questions here I could use advice on:

1. Is there any way to have a sparkly ring when it's set in rose gold? What about rose gold solitaire?
2. What can be done to enhance the sparkle factor of an Asscher diamond?
3. Is it weird if the engagement band is wider than the wedding bands?
4. Which do you guys like?

Thanks in advance for making it this far!

 

[the_mother_thing]

Your rings and asscher are pretty, but metal color and changing wedding bands won’t make your asscher sparkle more/less; but they may change the appearance of any body color and/or may distract the eye from the ER diamond with additional sparkles. It’s also important to know that an asscher isn’t going to behave/sparkle the same way a round brilliant will; that’s just the nature of that particular cut, which has more broad flashes than the ‘splintery’ sort of flashes you see in rounds. Keeping diamonds clean at much as possible is the only way to keep them performing & looking their best. Also, step cuts owners frequently comment how quickly dirt/oil accumulates on this cut in particular, so basically incorporating a daily cleaning routine will yield the best results in that regard ... all you need is a soft toothbrush, some dawn dish soap, and 2 minutes a day.

If - incorporating after daily cleaning - you still feel like your asscher isn’t giving you the light show you want, then it may be best to save up funds and change the engagement diamond to something that delivers what your eyes want to see.

 

[Yelena]

Hi Moonflower, it looks to me like you have been trying on a round brilliant solitaire with diamonds on the band and comparing it with what you have and it’s giving you grief and making you doubt your original engagement ring choice.

Perhaps don’t worry about the sparkly bands right at this moment. Isolate the main attraction and compare that. If you had to choose the Asscher diamond on its own (not in a setting) or a round brilliant diamond on its own (not in a setting), which one would you choose?

If you can answer this question easily, then you know that you are either going to keep the Asscher or that you really prefer round brilliant cuts.

If you like them both, then you are like a lot of us here and you just_love_bling You are in fabulous company, if I may say so myself. If this is the case then I see a round brilliant in your future. Significant birthdays and anniversaries are in your future so you can plan another ring to join your Asscher at some point in time.

I suspect you just want more sparkles so perhaps all you need to do is stack your Asscher with bands that give you the right amount of bling. Personally I liked the picture of the first stack that you posted (where you can see a bit of your computer) but I would like to see the sparkly bands on either side of your ring, as well as just on one side, in order to compare the ‘bling factor’.

If you are confused and going backwards and forwards and you are feeling like it’s stressful and difficult, then hold off and don’t do anything. Keep the Asscher and figure it out after the wedding is behind you. Remember, this is meant to be fun, not stressful.

 

[AV_]

I like your current ring...

How about a wedding band with larger diamonds - perhaps around 10pts each?

 

[foxinsox]

Keep the rose gold shank that you love and is your thing - your basket is already white gold so really won’t benefit much more from having a WG shank as well. I think you have a cut which isn’t super sparkly because that’s kinda how asschers just are. You do need to clean it daily if not twice daily - like @the_mother_thing says, it’s 2 mins (if that) and a soft toothbrush.
You could look into an underhalo to give it a little zhush like this one posted by CVB and give you some of that sparkle you’re looking for. I wouldn’t go for a pave shank personally - they’re delicate if not made properly and I don’t know how well it would go with the quieter look of the asscher. A plain band and more stackers would look really good though

 

[headlight]

Your rings and asscher are pretty, but metal color and changing wedding bands won’t make your asscher sparkle more/less; but they may change the appearance of any body color and/or may distract the eye from the ER diamond with additional sparkles. It’s also important to know that an asscher isn’t going to behave/sparkle the same way a round brilliant will; that’s just the nature of that particular cut, which has more broad flashes than the ‘splintery’ sort of flashes you see in rounds. Keeping diamonds clean at much as possible is the only way to keep them performing & looking their best. Also, step cuts owners frequently comment how quickly dirt/oil accumulates on this cut in particular, so basically incorporating a daily cleaning routine will yield the best results in that regard ... all you need is a soft toothbrush, some dawn dish soap, and 2 minutes a day.

If - incorporating after daily cleaning - you still feel like your asscher isn’t giving you the light show you want, then it may be best to save up funds and change the engagement diamond to something that delivers what your eyes want to see.

Everything said here is spot on and I couldn’t agree more. Your diamond and the setting and the 2 bands you've pre-selected in the 1st photo are AMAZING. Love the side view as well. I am totally envious of your diamond and the mounting and the bands you’ve selected. Your specific intent to have the play of different shapes and metals is evident and extraordinary.
None of the suggestions you’ve offered will affect the center stone. Exactly as stated, step cuts do not give the sparkle of a brilliant cut... but they give their own unique and elegant appearance. I have sometimes regretted not getting a step cut! And Asschers are so special! From the photo it looks like a very eye pleasing one, well balanced. I would love to see more images.
I think you need to just clean it daily. I have actually had better success with the Connoisseur brand cleaner in the little jar that comes with the dipping tray and brush than I’ve had with Dawn dishwashing liquid. My diamond is set a little lower than optimal in its mounting and oils get trapped on the pavilion and it’s a pain to get into that area and I feel the grease cutting dish soap has even added to the build up. But the connoisseur brand has been even better on my diamond than my ultrasonic machine with steamer! Give it a try. Just make sure it has no ammonia as that will eat away at your mounting.
I think maybe you are stressed about the wedding - we’ve all been through it so totally normal.
Your rings are gorgeous. Give the diamond a good cleaning and let us know how you feel.
Please post more photos... I love it.

 

[headlight]

Keep the rose gold shank that you love and is your thing - your basket is already white gold so really won’t benefit much more from having a WG shank as well. I think you have a cut which isn’t super sparkly because that’s kinda how asschers just are. You do need to clean it daily if not twice daily - like @the_mother_thing says, it’s 2 mins (if that) and a soft toothbrush.
You could look into an underhalo to give it a little zhush like this one posted by CVB and give you some of that sparkle you’re looking for. I wouldn’t go for a pave shank personally - they’re delicate if not made properly and I don’t know how well it would go with the quieter look of the asscher. A plain band and more stackers would look really good though

Agree here that the pave band isn’t the right look for the Asscher. The elegance of the step cut and especially in the Asscher is so special and classy and we are talking heirloom stuff here! A future daughter you may have or daughter in law or granddaughter will be pining for that ring and the bands you have selected to go with it.
AS STATED, yes to cleaning it twice a day depending on what you are doing that day, like put it to soak while you take off your makeup before bed... then it will be clean for you in the morning. Then say you are going out for dinner, you can give it a quick little clean to make it shine for your evening plans.
To avoid dirt build up, I would suggest you don’t wear it in the shower, put lotion with it on, etc. Don't wear in pools and jacuzzis... not only because sunscreen will get on it but also chlorine will eat away at your mounting.
When you get your bands, and take off your rings, don’t let the diamonds in any of the bands or e-ring come in contact with one another as diamond will scratch diamond. Always store them separately from one another.

 

[headlight]

Hi Moonflower, it looks to me like you have been trying on a round brilliant solitaire with diamonds on the band and comparing it with what you have and it’s giving you grief and making you doubt your original engagement ring choice.

Perhaps don’t worry about the sparkly bands right at this moment. Isolate the main attraction and compare that. If you had to choose the Asscher diamond on its own (not in a setting) or a round brilliant diamond on its own (not in a setting), which one would you choose?

If you can answer this question easily, then you know that you are either going to keep the Asscher or that you really prefer round brilliant cuts.

If you like them both, then you are like a lot of us here and you just_love_bling You are in fabulous company, if I may say so myself. If this is the case then I see a round brilliant in your future. Significant birthdays and anniversaries are in your future so you can plan another ring to join your Asscher at some point in time.

I suspect you just want more sparkles so perhaps all you need to do is stack your Asscher with bands that give you the right amount of bling. Personally I liked the picture of the first stack that you posted (where you can see a bit of your computer) but I would like to see the sparkly bands on either side of your ring, as well as just on one side, in order to compare the ‘bling factor’.

If you are confused and going backwards and forwards and you are feeling like it’s stressful and difficult, then hold off and don’t do anything. Keep the Asscher and figure it out after the wedding is behind you. Remember, this is meant to be fun, not stressful.

I was thinking something similar to this... perhaps get a brilliant cut stone for a pendant or diamond stud earrings if you don’t have, etc. because, as stated, there will be many gift-giving (receiving!) opportunities as the years unfold.
Personally, I think changing for a round is opening up a huge Pandora’s box. If it isn’t to highly specific standards that happen to work together in a very specific way, your round won’t be as spectacular as another person’s round and I’ve really struggled with this and wish I had just went with a marquise. I think fancies are easier to select because it’s anout pleasing shape and avoiding bow ties.
I know rounds are the most popular and I, too, went for a round but honestly, you see them all the time and especially with the pave mounting you tried on. While totally beautiful as the reason so many choose that, you have something so, so unique, special, exceptional. And I personally love how you were going to stack just on the 1 side. To me, THAT is what makes your ring stand out. Just the fact that you got an Asscher makes it stand out. Go even further with the Rose gold. I just can’t emphasize this enough. After seeing your ring and the very confusing maze of selecting the proper round, I’m seriously bummed I didn’t go for my true love, a marquise... which is what I had when I got engaged 30 years ago and traded it for a round (not the one I have now). I made a huge mistake and am heartbroken over it. I would give anything to have that diamond back. And that’s something else you may want to think about... how will you feel about giving up the diamond you were proposed with. Many here on PS have changed their original diamonds and are totally fine with it. I was, as well, back in the day. But after years of marriage I began to see what that diamond meant. So just some food for thought.
Excellent advice you’ve been given by others here to not make any changes until you get through the wedding.

 

[monipod]

Your ring is just gorgeous. I was so close to getting an Asscher but for my first big purchase, I decided I wanted maximum bling and size (hello marquise) which unfortunately an Asscher is not known for. They are however stunning and I plan on having on one day still
I do think an Asscher looks amazing in a three-stone setting with baguettes which won't be so chunky but might add some mirrored sparkle to the overall look.
Maybe a dot/dash band of baguettes and baby Asschers will also help?

 

[Wewechew]

I LOVE your setting, but then again I’m a solitaire girl. Your whole set is to die for. If I worked with you, yours would be one of my favorite sets in my office and I’d be staring at your hand whenever I could do it without you catching me. Seriously.

That said- I know of at least one emerald cut wearer that carries alcohol pads in her purse to wipe down her stone during the day if it starts looking dull and needs a quick pick me up.

 

[headlight]

I LOVE your setting, but then again I’m a solitaire girl. Your whole set is to die for. If I worked with you, yours would be one of my favorite sets in my office and I’d be staring at your hand whenever I could do it without you catching me. Seriously.

That said- I know of at least one emerald cut wearer that carries alcohol pads in her purse to wipe down her stone during the day if it starts looking dull and needs a quick pick me up.

I, too, have total ring envy!!!

 

[headlight]

Your ring is just gorgeous. I was so close to getting an Asscher but for my first big purchase, I decided I wanted maximum bling and size (hello marquise) which unfortunately an Asscher is not known for. They are however stunning and I plan on having on one day still
I do think an Asscher looks amazing in a three-stone setting with baguettes which won't be so chunky but might add some mirrored sparkle to the overall look.
Maybe a dot/dash band of baguettes and baby Asschers will also help?

While I love the stack you’ve selected, that just doesn’t seem to be doing it for you. I think, as mentioned, perhaps the solitaire is not what you want (although in an Asscher in rose gold it is such a stand-out).
These suggestions here are excellent! Love the 3 stone idea! Baguette sides would be fabulous. Adds just enough without taking over. And even though you are now adding more step cut to the step cut, it is cohesive and still keeps it an elegant, classic, heirloom worthy piece.
If you keep the solitaire, what about a band of all Asschers? I would not get the stones too large as to not compete with the engagement ring. My friend has an all Asscher band and it is to die for.

 

[SimoneDi]

OP, I love your ring and the bands that you have selected to stack with after you get married.

I think it’s very tempting to start thinking about the what-ifs of a possibly different setting or diamond once you have a ring and have worn it for a while. You said that the ring you selected was your dream ring and I do think it’s beautiful. I personally also prefer the Asscher shape on you vs a round, but it is obviously completely up to you as to what you decide to do.

As others mentioned, it is important to keep your ring clean in order to keep it sparkly. The dawn and brush recipe is always good, but I found that I personally prefer this cleaner - you just spray brush with a delicate brush and voila - ring looks clean and shiny again! I’d recommend you do that every morning.

P.S. reading again your post, you seem to think that your rose gold setting is the reason that your stone appears “less” sparkly/not as bright. That is not it. You already have a while metal basket. Changing the setting to all white gold won’t dramatically change the appearance. The best thing you can do it keep your ring clean and enjoy your lovely bands once you add the to the stack!

 

[lydial]

I prefer the setting you already have with your chosen wedding bands over the suggested re-do’s. Get a sparkly watch!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I have an asscher, I originally had it set in a white gold solitaire and I just wasn't super in love with it. I eventually reset it into a bezel halo and happily wore it for over a decade before eventually upgrading (it's now in the same halo but converted to a pendant). For me, it was all about the bezel more than the actual halo. IMO a bezel really exaggerates the awesome shape and steps of an asscher. No prongs to cover up the corners AND I swear it helps keep it a bit cleaner by protecting the entire girdle. Check them out!

 

[Ally T]

All of the above. Your ring is classy & beautiful. It just performs differently & needs a bit more cleaning than average. I would certainly stick with the bands you have chosen & live with them for a couple of years. If it's still bothering you then, you might have worked out what exactly you want to change without being hasty. Plenty of PSers have sold a diamond & gone on to regret it almost immediately.

Don't over think things & enjoy your beautiful ring - it looks perfect on you!

 

[whitewave]

Asscher lover here,

1) asschers get filthy fast! Get a magnasonic ultrasonic at Amazon and use 3/4 hot distilled water and 1/4 mr clean citrus and clean that baby every day.

2) I reset mine from a solitaire because the setting wasn’t showcasing the depth of the ring and so it just looked meh. Let me try and find before/after photos.




This is the reset. Caysie van Bebber did it.

Mine is 1.52 G vs1 from blue Nile

CAD:

 

[whitewave]

I wear a $200 thin band from B2c I bought in their clearance jewelry section. After DH wakes up, I’ll have to get him to open the safe and I’ll put it all out and take pics. Mine went from boring girl next door to vaa vaa vaa voom lol

 

[whitewave]

Oh, I also have videos on IG user Yatcube but Gia cuts videos weird so sometimes the ring is nearly off the screen lol

I do think my Hidden halo Adds to the sparkle factor.

Oh, and it’s very likely the Pavillion of your stone is filthy and this makes a big difference in appearance.

 

[nala]

I have an asscher, I originally had it set in a white gold solitaire and I just wasn't super in love with it. I eventually reset it into a bezel halo and happily wore it for over a decade before eventually upgrading (it's now in the same halo but converted to a pendant). For me, it was all about the bezel more than the actual halo. IMO a bezel really exaggerates the awesome shape and steps of an asscher. No prongs to cover up the corners AND I swear it helps keep it a bit cleaner by protecting the entire girdle. Check them out!

Ummmm did I miss a major thread? Are you holding out on us? Would love to see your upgrade and your pendant!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Ummmm did I miss a major thread? Are you holding out on us? Would love to see your upgrade and your pendant!

I would if I could but we're not allowed

 

[headlight]

I have an asscher, I originally had it set in a white gold solitaire and I just wasn't super in love with it. I eventually reset it into a bezel halo and happily wore it for over a decade before eventually upgrading (it's now in the same halo but converted to a pendant). For me, it was all about the bezel more than the actual halo. IMO a bezel really exaggerates the awesome shape and steps of an asscher. No prongs to cover up the corners AND I swear it helps keep it a bit cleaner by protecting the entire girdle. Check them out!

That's a great idea... the bezel. I completely forgot until I just read this that I have a very delicate bezel around my emerald that I, too, made into a pendant. I will post a photo later today. Even the slightest bezel makes a big statement and seems to "bump up" the size of the stone. As stated, the prongs do cover it up a bit. On the emerald I will post later, it had originally been in a ring and it was so "tucked" into its setting that I didn't realize it has much more of a presence once it wasn't hiding as much under prongs and had the slightest of bezel to outline it which, in a sense, sort of "underlined" it, as in "giving something some emphasis"!

 

[headlight]

Asscher lover here,

1) asschers get filthy fast! Get a magnasonic ultrasonic at Amazon and use 3/4 hot distilled water and 1/4 mr clean citrus and clean that baby every day.

2) I reset mine from a solitaire because the setting wasn’t showcasing the depth of the ring and so it just looked meh. Let me try and find before/after photos.




This is the reset. Caysie van Bebber did it.

Mine is 1.52 G vs1 from blue Nile

CAD:

@whitewave Absolutely stunning... in both versions!!! The split shank just may "be the ticket" for OP... really highlights the center stone as in a soli, but gives that extra little "umph" we all love here!

 

[headlight]

Is a Magnasonic different from an ultrasonic???

 

[headlight]

OP, I love your ring and the bands that you have selected to stack with after you get married.

I think it’s very tempting to start thinking about the what-ifs of a possibly different setting or diamond once you have a ring and have worn it for a while. You said that the ring you selected was your dream ring and I do think it’s beautiful. I personally also prefer the Asscher shape on you vs a round, but it is obviously completely up to you as to what you decide to do.

As others mentioned, it is important to keep your ring clean in order to keep it sparkly. The dawn and brush recipe is always good, but I found that I personally prefer this cleaner - you just spray brush with a delicate brush and voila - ring looks clean and shiny again! I’d recommend you do that every morning.

P.S. reading again your post, you seem to think that your rose gold setting is the reason that your stone appears “less” sparkly/not as bright. That is not it. You already have a while metal basket. Changing the setting to all white gold won’t dramatically change the appearance. The best thing you can do it keep your ring clean and enjoy your lovely bands once you add the to the stack!

Thank you for the recommendation for this cleaner!!!

 

[OdetteOdile]

When I look at that picture of your current ER and stack, I think it is absolute perfection! It is perfect on your hand, and the proportions of the stack are just right! This type of cut is very sleek and sophisticated. If you liked that look from the start, I feel like you can pull that off! However if you are unhappy with it, I think people have given some excellent ideas here for changes you could make.

 

[headlight]

Oh, I also have videos on IG user Yatcube but Gia cuts videos weird so sometimes the ring is nearly off the screen lol

I do think my Hidden halo Adds to the sparkle factor.

Oh, and it’s very likely the Pavillion of your stone is filthy and this makes a big difference in appearance.

So, so true re: filthy pavilion and making a big difference. I think a really great cleaning will start the love story all over again with the e-ring. I was struggling to find a good cleaner and was getting really bummed about my diamond and venting to my husband and venting to everyone on this forum looking for answers, etc., and now after fining a good cleaner I feel much better about it.

 

[whitewave]

Is a Magnasonic different from an ultrasonic???

Same thing. I think magnasonic is a brand of ultrasonic

 

[headlight]

So here’s my emerald cut that I reset as a pendant that has a bezel around it (just noticed it is like a double bezel with mil grain:

It was super teeny before, tucked deep in a vintage style ring mounting. This emerald is .86 ct., GIA VS2, H color

 

[whitewave]

So here’s my emerald cut that I reset as a pendant that has a bezel around it (just noticed it is like a double bezel with mil grain:

It was super teeny before, tucked deep in a vintage style ring mounting. This emerald is .86 ct., GIA VS2, H color

Oh that is pretty, and yes, you gained a lot of presence.