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Should I be offended?

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,908
I'd be offended too. I dealt with a vendor that communicated like this. Guess what? They lost a client, forever, and I will never recommend them to anyone. Which is too bad, because I tend to be a person that works with the same people over and over again and sing their praises wherever possible.

I have empathy for small businesses. I really do. High stress, small margins. You have to be scrappy. I have a lot of friends who are artists / artisans, and many of them are bad communicators, both written and spoken. But then they have to lean on other people to help them run their business (e.g. someone to manage comms / front end of service) - and those that don't figure out how to do that, don't thrive in our consumer-centric society. Being eccentric / quirky because you are more "mechanical minded" is not an excuse anymore.

And as a paying client, it should absolutely not be your burden to manage their bad communication style. In fact, it sucks.
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
1,457
This is a tough one.
I have kinda been in the same position.
How would you feel if the vendor plain said they couldn’t honor the original quote? Better or worse?
In the end - do what makes you most comfortable, regarding giving them a tip, or moving on and never using them again, or whatever.

Retail is sometimes tough (communications as well) for small business that don’t really plan it out as a retail for profit business.

When I first said the mm size, and was quoted the price, I said "that sounds great and in line with the budget as I don't expect it to be much over a carat." He never corrected me when I wrote that so the cost was what I expected. I don't plan on paying more at this point. I will also use them again if needed because they have really pretty things; I'll just plan on buying what is already available.
 

luckygreen317

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
56
I agree with you, the comment was unnecessary. When my emails have been misunderstood, I have made it a habit to call. Written messages don't take into account the inflection of voice and other nuances that could have soften the exchange.
If this is a vendor worth continuing the relationship, I personally would call to talk through. Maybe worth letting them know how you perceived their comment. If not, another reason to take your business elsewhere. Your $300 project could turn into a $30,000 project someday.
 

dk168

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Messages
8,640
IMHO, him not being very good with his guestimate and/or business acumen is not your problem.

Personal opinion and all that.

DK :roll2:
 

Rfisher

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
3,414
I did have a very honest (I think) vendor with whom we have done some things over the years do something like this on a low-end item. The fix ended up being a lot more complicated than anticipated and he could not honor his initial quote. We paid the extra $. No hard feelings. I understood what he was saying and I don't want him to lose money.

This situation is more understandable than OP’s,
IMO.
Misquoting the extent needed of a fix once started is different than
Oh hey- I lost money with you / I could have gotten more from someone else making a larger stone with the rough I chose.
Would removing the laughing and simply stating ‘hey for future reference I did a dummy, I’ll honor it, but future projects won’t be like this’ be perceived different? My opinion- yes.

You didn’t mislead the vendor or take advantage of them, @Mreader. Rest easy.

The passive ‘haha’ method of letting you know about it is another different issue. Is it banter? Passive aggressive? Pity ploy? Innocent Humor ? Who knows?
 
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strawrose

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 24, 2014
Messages
1,084
:doh:Maybe next time he should do a separate cutting fee on top of the carat weight? Yeah, that was unprofessional.
 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2013
Messages
1,504
The passive ‘haha’ method of letting you know about it is another different issue. Is it banter? Passive aggressive? Pity ploy? Innocent Humor ? Who knows?

This is what sticks out to me too. I wouldn't use the word "offended" if I got this email...but definitely uncomfortable, almost as if I was being guilted? Personally, I like to clear the air so I would respond to let the vendor know how they came across. Not in an accusatory way of course. But then again, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable commissioning a piece from them again in the future. So never mind, maybe it's a moot point to respond at this point :)
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
11,007
I have only ever commissioned one piece of jewlery
A Turquoise and pearl ring
My bench was long in the tooth
He stuck to his quoted price and told me in such a way that it had just squeeked in at the price in such a way that i know i got a very good price
So no offence taken
 

JackTrick

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
396
I did have a very honest (I think) vendor with whom we have done some things over the years do something like this on a low-end item. The fix ended up being a lot more complicated than anticipated and he could not honor his initial quote. We paid the extra $. No hard feelings. I understood what he was saying and I don't want him to lose money.

A similar thing happened to me, although the seller offered to respect the original quote. While it felt a little awkward to be in the position of being the one to decide, I opted to pay for the time it took (not the original quote). I put a high value on folks creating unique and special things, and I want them to feel compensated for their time.

The vendor in the OP was...well. Certainly laying it on a little thick. Which isn't great. But while I can understand a number of folks talking about how 'people should know/communicate better, that's just part of being a business,' ehhh, that just makes me feel kind of crummy. But then, I'm a pretty terrible capitalist, and lord knows I can be a little messy/sloppy. I can forgive some awkward messages and clumsy business stances, if in return an artist I appreciate gets to keep making cool stuff.
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
1,457
Many of you keep mentioning the word "tip" like you would tip in a restaurant. Is this a thing with cutters? I apologize for my ignorance but didn't know tipping a gem cutter was a thing.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
11,007
Many of you keep mentioning the word "tip" like you would tip in a restaurant. Is this a thing with cutters? I apologize for my ignorance but didn't know tipping a gem cutter was a thing.

Good point
We don't tip in my country
Is this a thing we need to know when using overseas based vendors ?
A tip on top of the exchange rate on top of the NZ govt's 'Amazon' tax would make things even more exspensive especially with no knowledge of the percentage one is expected to tip ?
 

Spring Day

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Messages
720
Many of you keep mentioning the word "tip" like you would tip in a restaurant. Is this a thing with cutters? I apologize for my ignorance but didn't know tipping a gem cutter was a thing.

That sounds utterly ridiculous. I strongly believe in tipping well for people in the service industry but they get paid minimum wage or less while working their butts off. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure these gem cutters set their own prices so why should we be pressured or obligated to tip them? I have felt this pressure before from another vendor and I think it’s completely wrong and puts the consumer in a horrible position. How much money should I fork over so I won’t be talked s*** about? What if I gave more than they expected and now I’m out that extra money?
I would rather be charged extra upfront. I don’t mind paying more for good work at all!
 

Rfisher

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 19, 2013
Messages
3,414
Many of you keep mentioning the word "tip" like you would tip in a restaurant. Is this a thing with cutters? I apologize for my ignorance but didn't know tipping a gem cutter was a thing.

i don’t think its a thing, as far as I am aware.

i think it was originally brought up as it could be a way to think of the additional monies to make up for vendors mistake in calculation once buyer was made aware , and was voluntarily paid. that you did it out of appreciation for their craft. Whether it’s the amount the vendor might have stated or an amount of your choosing.
that’s the way I took it as the word was being used in this thread.
 
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peppermintpatty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 15, 2008
Messages
644
@Mreader, not by what the vendor in question said, but by the little extra's the vendor added on to what they said. I have a feeling I know who the vendor is. I hope I am wrong. I don't think I am. That is out of line. If they miscalculate the amount, that is their mistake. Not yours. They will hopefully learn from their mistake and move forward accordingly so it doesn't happen to them in the future.
Try to enjoy your new stone and know that you did nothing wrong. That is up to that individual to do a better estimation next time when they are doing a custom project..
They are the professionals, it is their job to know what it should cost. Above all else we should not be made to feel bad when we did nothing wrong.
 

MrsBlue

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
Messages
396
I almost feel bad for the cutter for shining this light on their own lack of preparation. Not knowing the cost of the rough or their own time? Yeesh.

This is not something a buyer should reward with more money. Or more business. Still, I sincerely hope the vendor is more careful in the future.
 

PinkAndBlueBling

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 16, 2017
Messages
917
Oh, it's lovely! And so sparkly!:love:
 

voce

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 13, 2018
Messages
4,421
edited to add - I take that back bc Daniel M has been great and I dealt with him recently.

Are you saying that you commissioned the stone from Daniel M on Etsy? As far as I know, he's not a gem cutter, but a jewelry designer/gem setter, so I would expect him to have little experience quoting custom cut gemstones.

The ring turned out great. :)
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
1,457
Are you saying that you commissioned the stone from Daniel M on Etsy? As far as I know, he's not a gem cutter, but a jewelry designer/gem setter, so I would expect him to have little experience quoting custom cut gemstones.

The ring turned out great. :)

No sorry for the confusion- I was saying that lately when I’ve dealt with a jewelry or stone purchase it seems something has gone awry with the seller or jeweler. Then I remembered that this was NOT the case with Dan.
 

voce

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 13, 2018
Messages
4,421
No sorry for the confusion- I was saying that lately when I’ve dealt with a jewelry or stone purchase it seems something has gone awry with the seller or jeweler. Then I remembered that this was NOT the case with Dan.

Thanks for clearing that up! Dan has been super great with my projects, and I plan to send more his way later, so you see why I would be concerned, if it was him? Anyway, I wholeheartedly look forward to your new thread because the ring turned out beautifully!
 
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