She’s here :) and advice needed

[jBright]

Hi all!

2.03 RB G SI1 XXX

Thank you so much to everyone that has helped me get this far! We just got the loose diamond in and will be bringing it to our local jeweler tomorrow . Sorry I couldn’t figure out how to take better pictures!! I’m between 3.5-4 finger sizes.



I am very excited and have been sharing the details with one girlfriend in particular. And I should really be posting this in a different thread but these threads have more traffic. My friend said that I should tell people that my boyfriend picked out my ring. But... I picked everything out and will be picking out the exact custom setting I want also. Yes, my boyfriend has the final say, as he has to pay... but I’m confused on what to do. Lol. My two most recent girlfriends who got engaged acted surprised when they were proposed to, but come to find out... they both had a hand in designing their exact ring. And I just don’t see the point in faking the funk.

so I was just wondering, have any of you guys picked out and designed your engagement rings? And if so, what do you tell people when they compliment you or ask you if he picked it out his on own?

I will be designing the setting, but I’m going to tell the jeweler to contact the BF directly when it is done so he can pick it up and “surprise” me whenever. Can’t wait to come back w the finished product and as a fiancé!!!

thanks so much for reading this novel!!
XOXO

 

[mrs-b]

Gorgeous diamond - and congratulations!

I have to say, tho, it seems these days that the contortions people go through to achieve 'the perfect proposal' have really gotten out of hand. But here's a benchmark which is too often ignored....

If in doubt, tell the truth.

And even when not in doubt.

If you picked it out, you picked it out. I'm sure if something had seemed wrong to either of you about doing it that way, you wouldn't have done it that way in the first place. So - given that both you and your BF obviously think there was nothing wrong with you picking out the diamond and the setting, what earthly reason would you have to make-believe for other people that you sat around like a simpering miss, waiting for a man to present you with a seal-the-deal piece of jewelry? As for other women who try to add to the pressure women feel by implying our fiances / husbands should somehow be capable of reading our minds and presenting us with the perfect piece of jewelry...well...it just seems kinda 'low self esteem' to me.

Believe me, when you tell people you're marrying a man who allows you to express your own taste and that you were able to receive the *perfect* ring for you, most of them will be secretly (or not so secretly!) jealous! I'm sure some will huff and puff along the lines of "ooohhhh - but that's not romantic!" But a great marriage was never built on someone else's idea of romance. What it IS built on is having a partner who lets you be fully yourself.

Which you have obviously found.

To which I say - well done!

Looking forward to seeing your beautiful diamond in its setting - and best wishes for a life of love, happiness, and mutual respect.

 

[tyty333]

@mrs-b Couldn't have said it any better myself!

 

[Gemly]

Hi all!

2.03 RB G SI1 XXX

Thank you so much to everyone that has helped me get this far! We just got the loose diamond in and will be bringing it to our local jeweler tomorrow . Sorry I couldn’t figure out how to take better pictures!! I’m between 3.5-4 finger sizes.



I am very excited and have been sharing the details with one girlfriend in particular. And I should really be posting this in a different thread but these threads have more traffic. My friend said that I should tell people that my boyfriend picked out my ring. But... I picked everything out and will be picking out the exact custom setting I want also. Yes, my boyfriend has the final say, as he has to pay... but I’m confused on what to do. Lol. My two most recent girlfriends who got engaged acted surprised when they were proposed to, but come to find out... they both had a hand in designing their exact ring. And I just don’t see the point in faking the funk.

so I was just wondering, have any of you guys picked out and designed your engagement rings? And if so, what do you tell people when they compliment you or ask you if he picked it out his on own?

I will be designing the setting, but I’m going to tell the jeweler to contact the BF directly when it is done so he can pick it up and “surprise” me whenever. Can’t wait to come back w the finished product and as a fiancé!!!

thanks so much for reading this novel!!
XOXO

Wow!!! Look at those arrows. Love it!!

 

[pearaffair]

DH and I picked the ring together. I just said: we make all big decisions together; why would this be any different?

Congrats!!!

 

[daisygrl]

Hi all!

2.03 RB G SI1 XXX

Thank you so much to everyone that has helped me get this far! We just got the loose diamond in and will be bringing it to our local jeweler tomorrow . Sorry I couldn’t figure out how to take better pictures!! I’m between 3.5-4 finger sizes.



I am very excited and have been sharing the details with one girlfriend in particular. And I should really be posting this in a different thread but these threads have more traffic. My friend said that I should tell people that my boyfriend picked out my ring. But... I picked everything out and will be picking out the exact custom setting I want also. Yes, my boyfriend has the final say, as he has to pay... but I’m confused on what to do. Lol. My two most recent girlfriends who got engaged acted surprised when they were proposed to, but come to find out... they both had a hand in designing their exact ring. And I just don’t see the point in faking the funk.

so I was just wondering, have any of you guys picked out and designed your engagement rings? And if so, what do you tell people when they compliment you or ask you if he picked it out his on own?

I will be designing the setting, but I’m going to tell the jeweler to contact the BF directly when it is done so he can pick it up and “surprise” me whenever. Can’t wait to come back w the finished product and as a fiancé!!!

thanks so much for reading this novel!!
XOXO

I picked out everything. My husband just paid. I tell people that we have a collaborative relationship and a ring was not an exception. However, I must admit that I do feel uncomfortable when people ask these kind of questions. Unnecessary to me. Wish us happiness instead (thinking to myself.)

 

[Bron357]

I 1000% chose my own ring.
Heavens, spending a huge amount of money on such a special piece of jewellery requires input from the recipient.
Maybe in the “traditional days” (And absolutely no disrespect to anyone who upholds these traditions) like no sex before marriage, no living together a “surprise” engagement ring was a “surprise”.
I appreciate that some ladies do get a fabulous engagement ring chosen solely by their partner (who we hope came here and got great advice and guidance) but many is the lady who went “oh, that’s nice” and promptly starting thinking about how it could be improved or upgraded.
Own your own experience. Be proud that it was a joint effort, you’re getting married that is totally “joint”, start how you intend to finish.
And as for ladies who feel obliged to act “surprised“ for the benefit of family or friends - that’s a bit silly.
Like the girlfriend of mine who felt obliged to declare that her 8 and a half pound baby was premature rather than conceived before marriage (and they had been living together for 5 years).

 

[MissGotRocks]

You picked it out with his blessing so just own it. I agree with Mrs-b in that the quest for a perfect engagement story goes far and above the level that I ever knew. My husband took me ring shopping so that I could show him what I liked. He chose in the end but it wasn’t too hard - just a diamond in a six prong solitaire ring - lol! Neither of us knew anything about diamonds back then and my ring was actually wrapped up in my Christmas present that year. We knew we were getting married and there was no elaborate proposal. Don’t let other people sway you to make up a story for the benefit of others. Just be grateful that he cares enough to want you to have a ring that you adore - and it looks like you are well on your way to having that! Please come back with pics when the ring is completed and congrats - both on your engagement and having chosen a wonderful guy to share your life with!

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

Congratulations on your stunning new diamond! As others have said, tell the truth. A collaborative effort is something to be proud of.

 

[maryjane04]

Congratulations!! Your diamond looks fantastic!!

I actually think those people are too nosy and once the hype is over they will all forget about your engagement and no one will ask about it in a few months or after you get married.

My partner presented me with a less than ideal ring, which I wish he had consulted me on, or least with somebody! It's been 10 years and finally I get to design my own ring (painful and expensive process).

And nobody even asks about my original e-ring.. I think the most important thing is communication and the fact that you have something you adore and will be happily wearing forever. A marriage is about communication and respect. Some men don't have the jewelry gene as I have learned but it's not to say that they don't have other great qualities.

Own your ring.. It's beautiful and people will be less concerned with the details and just drool over that sparkle!

 

[JMac1980]

I’m new here too. My partner took me shopping on 47th street in 2012 and we bought the biggest diamond we could afford without knowing a thing (he paid). I am now selling that ring and adding to it financially myself to get my dream Victor Canera setting and new diamond. After we bought the ring back in 2012 I walked out with it on my hand and we went to TGI Fridays . The staff sang to us and brought to chefs out to see my huge rock (3ct) and gave us free beers. It wasn’t fancy but was really fun and so us. I don’t regret anything and don’t feel like I have to fake it so it sounds more romantic than it was. You do what is right for you. We are 14 years together with three beautiful girls so a good proposal story is only part of your story x

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Beautiful diamond! I think its fun and wonderful you get to select and design your own ring with your partners blessing. That's ideal in my opinion -- enjoy!

 

[scouty]

Beautiful diamond!! I happily told my friends and coworkers that I picked out my diamond and setting. I think it’s indicative of a good partnership. When my ring got delivered we opened it together. My husband surprised me with the actual proposal location and date. Having seen the ring in advance did not change the moment!

 

[Spring Day]

Beautiful diamond! Congrats on picking a great one! I’m in the final process of getting my ER custom made and I was the one that did everything from start to finish. I don’t think the BF even knows what my ring looks like but he knows that I am very particular so he let me have full control. I admit he was a bit bummed that he wasn’t able to surprise me with a proposal but I told him that he can have the ring once it’s finished and stash it away until he’s thought of the perfect plan and he got excited after that. So, in a way it’s still kind of a surprise for me. I know what the ring looks like so I won’t be disappointed but he will be in control of the when and where of the proposal.

I always feel like being honest is the best way to go. Might be cuz I’m a horrible liar. But also lies catch up to you and tend to bite you in the butt. And some may wonder why you would lie about such a trivial thing. And if anything, I find that I’m proud of my BF for letting me do my own thing because it showed how much he respects my wishes and wants me to be happy.

Congrats again!!!

 

[stonehunter20]

i love this thread!! agreed with all above. be yourself and be you! dont let what others think bother you! if you want to be part of the process designing the ring you want, go for it! at the end of day, it's your feelings that matter the most!

 

[SandyinAnaheim]

I did what I wanted to also. My husband had a specific budget and I went 1.5x over that, so I paid for the difference of what I wanted...I waited long enough to merit that. Your diamond is GORGEOUS!! You did well. Enjoy the process! Your ring should bring you pleasure for many years to come.

 

[jBright]

Thank you everyone for your replies!! You guys sure did reaffirm my feelings. I have such a big mouth, I am the type of friend that will tell you where I bought my $5 shirt on sale. I’ve never understood why people are “greedy” with deals, I want to share the wealth!

I told my girlfriend that I was so excited to be engaged so I can finally share all of my newfound knowledge of diamonds from both my jeweler and PS!!

I also told my her that if I even dared to tell people that my BF picked out the ring, himself, they would totally know I’m lying! Lol. He’s not the type to make a big fuss and would probably just pick the first thing he sees. I ran this by my BF and he agreed no one would believe that story.

all of my family and friends knows me and knows that I am completely neurotic.. so I think they’ll understand that I wanted the perfect ring for ME!

thank you, again, so much ladies! I agree honesty is the best policy. I just wasn’t sure if I should keep completely silent or implicate myself. Lol. I will, if asked, let them know that I picked everything and he paid. A complete collaborative team effort.

Will report back, hopefully sooner than later, with the final product!

XOXO

 

[Catmom]

In about 5 weeks it will be 40 years for us and even 40 years ago I picked out my own setting. We used hubby's grandmother's diamond and both went to the jewelry store to find a setting I liked. Believe me, picking your own ring is not new. Love what you designed and be proud of it! By the way, your diamond is gorgeous!!

 

[Natylad]

Gorgeous diamond - and congratulations!

I have to say, tho, it seems these days that the contortions people go through to achieve 'the perfect proposal' have really gotten out of hand. But here's a benchmark which is too often ignored....

If in doubt, tell the truth.

And even when not in doubt.

If you picked it out, you picked it out. I'm sure if something had seemed wrong to either of you about doing it that way, you wouldn't have done it that way in the first place. So - given that both you and your BF obviously think there was nothing wrong with you picking out the diamond and the setting, what earthly reason would you have to make-believe for other people that you sat around like a simpering miss, waiting for a man to present you with a seal-the-deal piece of jewelry? As for other women who try to add to the pressure women feel by implying our fiances / husbands should somehow be capable of reading our minds and presenting us with the perfect piece of jewelry...well...it just seems kinda 'low self esteem' to me.

Believe me, when you tell people you're marrying a man who allows you to express your own taste and that you were able to receive the *perfect* ring for you, most of them will be secretly (or not so secretly!) jealous! I'm sure some will huff and puff along the lines of "ooohhhh - but that's not romantic!" But a great marriage was never built on someone else's idea of romance. What it IS built on is having a partner who lets you be fully yourself.

Which you have obviously found.

To which I say - well done!

Looking forward to seeing your beautiful diamond in its setting - and best wishes for a life of love, happiness, and mutual respect.

Very well said @mrs-b

 

[barbie86]

Gorgeous stone! Also, I am so jealous of women with smaller fingers, stones look even bigger lol.

Re what to say, I think it's totally personal. I did most of the leg work with mine (not engaged yet, proposal coming when my divorce comes through): I spent AGES looking at stones and picked the stone, and designed the setting, signing off on the CAD. I also shopped around for quotes. OH set the budget, and I cared that he liked it, but his input was minimal. However, once I signed off on the CAD and it was paid, communications switched to OH; so I won't see the finished ring until he proposes, as I still wanted a small surprise.

In my case, if someone asks if he picked it himself I will be honest. I don't really see the point in lying. Plus most close friends have seen the design already

 

[jBright]

@mrs-b our YG Queen does always have the best advice. Thank you

@barbie86 that’s my plan!! Just finalized the setting today!! And after approving the renderings I’ll hand it off to the bf!

I picked 14k yellow gold solitaire with a white gold head w dainty flushed claws and a hidden halo. The jeweler said it’ll be 5-6 weeks.. I’m thinking because of the delays from Covid. Was hoping it‘d be done before my birthday in mid August, but doesn’t look like it. He also confirmed that my finger size is a 3.5 negative. So probably a 3.4

thanks again ladies... this forum is the best!!

 

[daisygrl]

@mrs-b our YG Queen does always have the best advice. Thank you

@barbie86 that’s my plan!! Just finalized the setting today!! And after approving the renderings I’ll hand it off to the bf!

I picked 14k yellow gold solitaire with a white gold head w dainty flushed claws and a hidden halo. The jeweler said it’ll be 5-6 weeks.. I’m thinking because of the delays from Covid. Was hoping it‘d be done before my birthday in mid August, but doesn’t look like it. He also confirmed that my finger size is a 3.5 negative. So probably a 3.4

thanks again ladies... this forum is the best!!

Re: the finger size, I am 3.5 but I had my ring done in a 4 size (it spins and I like it that way) but, since most don't i would suggest size 3.75 for you - fingers get swollen in a hot weather and the ring might become uncomfortable. Just my two cents.

 

[jBright]

Re: the finger size, I am 3.5 but I had my ring done in a 4 size (it spins and I like it that way) but, since most don't i would suggest size 3.75 for you - fingers get swollen in a hot weather and the ring might become uncomfortable. Just my two cents.

Thanks @daisygrl !!

the jeweler mentioned because were in the summer months, I should be fine?? Hopefully so! But he did mention because it’s a solitaire i could resize if necessary as much as i want! And he could do it within like 10 minutes. Lol. But hopefully I won’t have to! *fingers crossed

I did try on a size 4 and I feel like it would fall right off of my clumsy fingers! Lol. Would be a definite nightmare.

 

[doberman]

My husband proposed to me sans ring. He didn't want to have to pick out something so expensive on his own. So we went into the city with his sister and found a diamond and setting. I will never understand the faux gyrations around proposals these days all for the sake of views on social media. I find it very fake and sad.