setting issues *sigh* again...

[larussel03]

Brace yourselves, this is long...

As many of you here know, I got engaged in January. I've only been on sporadically since b/c I had a class (which is now finished) 2x a week at night and started freelance writing for a magazine.

Since then THE ring has been giving me little issues off and on. First, the setting was tarnished on the inside and slightly on the outside (little dark grey spots on my white gold setting). FI and I took it back to the jeweler that he purchased the ring from and with a little grumbling, the jeweler there cleaned the setting. I had pointed out to the jeweler that the diamond did not look as though it was set evenly, and that there was a tool mark in one of the prongs, but he insisted it was fine and I was confident that he knew better and off we went. He did not adjust the diamond, did not do anything about the tool mark.

Then last month I was in florida with my friends at a Greek restaurant where napkins are thrown around as part of the fun and low and behold I look down and my diamond is SIDEWAYS in the setting. I was so glad that I had looked down when I did b/c if I had tipped my hand and it fell onto napkins and I picked some up and threw them I'd never find it again. The diamond is insured but still...

So, it goes back to the jeweler...who then says I must have knocked it real hard (which I guess is possible, I dont remember hitting it but I guess it could have been "just right") and when FI told him that I hadn't, the jeweler said that I must have fudged the details b/c I was embarassed and that I had obviously bent the prong back b/c he could not slide the diamond back in....which made me a little mad b/c he's a) insisting that I had left out details to my FI and b) I wouldn't BEND the PRONG back. What is that all about??? Anyways, we get the ring back and the jeweler says I can now "punch walls" with it and the diamond will not fall out. Fabulous.

So I have the ring back for a day and notice that I swear that one of the prongs does not rest against the diamond fully. I dismiss it, thinking I am so paranoid, then I look at it and try to nudge it, and note that I cannot push it up or down in the setting. Good, I think. Then at work, I was running my finger along the edge of the diamond (the gertile part I think), and notice that I can shift it left and right a few degrees. A VISIBLE few degrees. Visible to myself, my FI and my best friend. So now I'm not wearing the ring again b/c the diamond is not in there snugly and I'm worried it could fall out again. We have to go back, yet again, although FI and I have not yet had time in the last 2 weeks to bring it and again I am ringless. I hate not wearing it, but to tell you the truth I'm not as heartbroken as the first time b/c I'm actually GETTING USED to having problems with it! (OK that's a dramatization, I'm upset to not have it, but you get the point)

I'm so frustrated and don't know waht to do. Some friends advise we see another jeweler but this one's always done great work before for my parents and their friends. I'm at a loss for what's really wrong and nervous to wear the ring, even once it's fixed! I only wear it when I'm home in my apartment. The rest of the tme it lives in the sock drawer in its box.

My boss says it's a "sign"...I'm thinking yeah, maybe that I need a new jeweler.....

 

[strmrdr]

that stinks :{
maybe try a more protected or lower setting this time?
some settings just dont work for some people.
And find a different jeweler.

 

[Cathers]

Sweetpea, I am so sorry to hear of your ring troubles, not to mention how it must make YOU feel. For me personally, I have quite a hard time speaking up if something is wrong IE: steak not cooked quite right and so forth. This is a different matter all together. You have gone back several times, only to be questioned and sounds like even reprimanded for things that you have"done" to this ring...like you would deliberately "do" anything to it!*doh* Is this person the owner of this store? If not, go over his head. If so, I would consider my alternatives very carefully. This sounds to me like poor workmanship, and terrible customer service. He is hostile to you because he knows he messed up, and you called him on it! Grrr poor customer service just gets me riled.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/30/2006 11:21:10 PM
Author: strmrdr
that stinks :{
maybe try a more protected or lower setting this time?
some settings just dont work for some people.
And find a different jeweler.

Yeah, my setting had been set up high before...he actually lowered it (shortened the prongs) upon my request when FI took it to have the diamond reset in it, to just above the baskety part...I guess this way if it does get loose enough to fall out, it won't go out of the ring......

 

[Cathers]

can you post some pics for us?

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/30/2006 11:32:15 PM
Author: Çã†hër§
can you post some pics for us?

Before: you can see that the stone is soley held by the 4 prongs, it does not rest against the horizontal bar, but the jeweler assured FI that this is a perfectly safe setting (which I think it's supposed to be...) Sorry it's blurry, I don't have a high qual digital camera

 

[ilovesparkles]

Yikes, sounds serious! I would be so aggravated! Not sure what to tell you to do but jsut wanted to lend you some GRRRR support!

 

[larussel03]

another before...I can''t get an after, but it sits lower against the horizontal part of the setting...my dig camera keeps shutting off b/c I''m out of batts

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/30/2006 11:43:36 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 5/30/2006 11:32:15 PM

Author: Çã†hër§

can you post some pics for us?

Before:

yikes no wonder it got knocked out way too much prong above the support bar and a very very high setting.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/30/2006 11:46:06 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 5/30/2006 11:43:36 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 5/30/2006 11:32:15 PM

Author: Çã†hër§

can you post some pics for us?

Before:

yikes no wonder it got knocked out way too much prong above the support bar and a very very high setting.

I'm so upset that the jeweler would not think this...that was actually one of my first thoughts when FI gave it to me, but he said he had brought that up and the jeweler said it's fine...
I'm so freaking mad : (

ETA: I'm also still kind of worried b/c the stone still does not rest against the bar, the point of the bottom of the diamond is about where the bar ends, and the girdle is about a millimeter or two above where the bar starts

 

[strmrdr]

there needs to be some room above the bar in that design if the prongs are about a 1/3 as long above the bar as in the first photo it should be ok.

 

[tawn]

I think perhaps the definition of a good jeweler" to a non-PS''er....might be totally different than "good jeweler" to a PS''er!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 5/31/2006 1:00:49 AM
Author: tawn
I think perhaps the definition of a good jeweler'' to a non-PS''er....might be totally different than ''good jeweler'' to a PS''er!

I think you may have just hit that nail on the head!

 

[firebirdgold]

Even good jewelers mess up sometimes.
My mother had several runs of bad luck getting her ring repaired with a great jeweler. She then took it to a guy we know who''s top-level but he didn''t listen and messed the ring design up.

Good luck on getting it fixed properly!

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 1:00:49 AM
Author: tawn
I think perhaps the definition of a good jeweler' to a non-PS'er....might be totally different than 'good jeweler' to a PS'er!

Really? How So? I think most ps and non ps'ers would define one as good work and excellent customer service/benchside manner. Although right now I'd settle for a sturdy setting that I'm not paranoid about

He treats my parents and their friends like gold, but from my and my experiences with him, I'm just uncomfortable with him b/c he kind of acts like we're bugging him. When my dad went in and complained, he actually said "oh, I didnt realize it was your FSIL and daughter" and apologized to him...it really should not matter who we're related to.

I just want my stone to not fall out or be loose anymore...I hate pestering people and feel like I"m being such a pain to him, but then I realize this is not my fault and it's my E ring...just stinks

 

[jaz464]

Why put up with this? Why do you feel guilty for "pestering him"? At this point, I would go in there and make a huge scene. Then, I would get a safer setting and a better jeweler.

Is the setting warrantied by him?

 

[denverappraiser]

Sweetpea,

You’re right to stop wearing it. A diamond that moves in the setting, even a little bit is a VERY bad sign. Even if it’s not at risk of falling out immediately, diamonds are very hard and gold is very soft. The stone rattling around in the mounting causes the prongs to wear from the inside out and it quickly becomes a disaster.

I think an appraisal would help here. It’s not the value that’s at issue, what you’re looking for is an independent evaluation of the craftsmanship. This, in turn, can be used to go back to the jeweler to tell them exactly what you want done, to go to a different jeweler to get it fixed or to file a claim against the insurance for damage (if it’s damaged). If you already had it appraised by an appraiser who was working for you, not the seller, ring them up and discuss the problem with them.

A good benchworker could probably tell you all of this for free and it’s probably not all that difficult a question but an appraiser will put it in writing and sign their name to it. An independent appraiser is in a much better position for this sort of thing because they can’t be accused of badmouthing a competitor in order to steal a sale.

I agree with Storm, that looks like a tall setting and the stone is set in it to make it even taller. Was this one of your objectives? This isn't all bad news. If the conclusion is that you need have the stone reset lower to make it secure (which is what I suspect), it's probably possible to do this. Making prongs shorter often both possible and relatively easy. Making them longer is hard.

Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

 

[anchor31]

I''m sorry this is happening to you, Sweetpea! I don''t understand why he treats you that way, he can''t expect to keep you as customers if he treats you like dirt! And what''s the deal about being so nice to your dad and apologising to him when he realised you were his daughter? He sounds like a snob...

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 8:10:06 AM
Author: jazmine
Why put up with this? Why do you feel guilty for ''pestering him''? At this point, I would go in there and make a huge scene. Then, I would get a safer setting and a better jeweler.


Is the setting warrantied by him?

It may be guilt I feel or just apprehension over how I''ll react if he treats us the same again. I can be very calm but if someone pushes me I''ll definately fly off the handle, so that''s why I''ve pretty much let FI deal with it b/c I dont want to end up saying anything I''ll regret later. Hopefully we''ll be able to go down on Saturday and have him fix it...I guess I''ll give him a 3rd chance but then that''s it. Maybe I should call ahead and let him know, but I''m not sure exactly what to say to get the point across that he really needs to make this right without getting angry and emotional. This has really put a damper on what is supposed to be an exciting time for me. I can''t even wear the freaking ring half the time I''ve had it!

 

[jaz464]

Date: 5/31/2006 10:22:11 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

I guess I''ll give him a 3rd chance but then that''s it.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 10:51:35 AM
Author: jazmine

Date: 5/31/2006 10:22:11 AM

Author: *~Sweetpea~*



I guess I''ll give him a 3rd chance but then that''s it.

Honestly it''s not that I want to go back to him, it''s that FI and I cannot afford right now to go out and purchase a new setting with another jeweler, so this one has to make this right. Either that or I''ll call him, give him a piece of my mind and go to my friends'' jeweler where they got their engagement ring, may be the better option, but FI worries about diamond switching, but we had it appraised so it''s pretty unlikely...

 

[denverappraiser]

Date: 5/31/2006 11:05:19 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

... we had it appraised so it''s pretty unlikely...

Call your appraiser and discuss the issue of craftsmanship. Do they agree with the jewelers explanation that it''s probably your fault or do they feel that there may be a problem with the mounting, the assembly, or both?

Niel Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Professional Appraisals in Denver

 

[firebirdgold]

I must admit, I''m pretty baffled as to why the jeweler would set it so high in the first place. Are you sure he did the work and not an underling?

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/31/2006 11:47:53 AM
Author: IndieJones
I must admit, I'm pretty baffled as to why the jeweler would set it so high in the first place. Are you sure he did the work and not an underling?

there are tons of people with that setting with the stone that high.
It helps steep/deep diamonds look better and look bigger and it was highly popular a few years back.
I know of 4-5 people with similar settings that all got engaged within a short time of each other and all have had problems.
The prongs are 2 long and 2 weak.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 11:44:52 AM
Author: denverappraiser

Date: 5/31/2006 11:05:19 AM

Author: *~Sweetpea~*


... we had it appraised so it''s pretty unlikely...

Call your appraiser and discuss the issue of craftsmanship. Do they agree with the jewelers explanation that it''s probably your fault or do they feel that there may be a problem with the mounting, the assembly, or both?


Niel Beaty

GG(GIA) ISA NAJA

Professional Appraisals in Denver

We had the diamond appraised but not mounted, so we''ll probably have to go and have one with it mounted as you suggested...I did not know you could do that. I just dont see how it could all be my fault as I am not a rough and tumble person, I''m very easy on jewelry, I dont play sports, I dont do much physical stuff that would knock the ring, and I''ve never had issues with any other jewelry before like this, and I have a aquamarine set in a similar setting to my ering that''s been fine for years and years.

I''ll let you all know how it goes once i get this straightened out.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 12:00:15 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 5/31/2006 11:47:53 AM

Author: IndieJones

I must admit, I''m pretty baffled as to why the jeweler would set it so high in the first place. Are you sure he did the work and not an underling?

The prongs are 2 long and 2 weak.

I think this is most likely the issue as well...hopefully the prongs can just be tightened so the diamond cannot spin anymore and this will be over and done with.

Thanks everyone for the help!! I really appreciate it, at least wehn I talk to him, or another jeweler I''ll know exactly what to suggest and mention.

 

[lizz]

Yes, I agree to get a new jeweler. I would work with someone who will give much better customer service.

 

[Stone Hunter]

This jewler needs to apologize to you and your FI. And fix the setting too!

I''m surprised he gives such good service to your parents and their friends. Are they getting service or does he just charm them to death? Some people work like that and everyone loves them.

Best wishes. Hope this is fixed SOON.

 

[asscherisme]

Wow, that stinks. Its the jewelers problem. He is the one who is lying and screwing things up, not you.

I would absultely not go back there.

And I have never seen such a high set diamond in my real life, never. That thing is so darned high no wonder it keeps coming loose. You may knock it and not even know it.

Are you sleeping with it? I can''t imagine it not getting all caught up in the bedding when you sleep. That could be doing it.

I would get it set lower. And if a new jeweler can''t work with that setting I would start over with a new lower setting. And then I would would have your fiance take back the old setting and get his money back. If the jeweler won''t then maybe put it in dispute with the credit card company if thats how he paid.

When you get it reset make sure the diamond is set lower. Trust me, after 11 years of marriage a lower set diamond is the way to go. Especially if you are planning on having kids. High set is tough enough with no kids but when you are changing diapers, bucking car seats, pushing the swing etc a high set diamond will end up more in your jewelry box than your finger because it will be a pain.

By the way, pretty diamond It just needs a good safe home!

Good luck.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 5/31/2006 1:18:09 PM
Author: asscherisme
Wow, that stinks. Its the jewelers problem. He is the one who is lying and screwing things up, not you.


I would absultely not go back there.


And I have never seen such a high set diamond in my real life, never. That thing is so darned high no wonder it keeps coming loose. You may knock it and not even know it.


Are you sleeping with it? I can't imagine it not getting all caught up in the bedding when you sleep. That could be doing it.


I would get it set lower. And if a new jeweler can't work with that setting I would start over with a new lower setting. And then I would would have your fiance take back the old setting and get his money back. If the jeweler won't then maybe put it in dispute with the credit card company if thats how he paid.


When you get it reset make sure the diamond is set lower. Trust me, after 11 years of marriage a lower set diamond is the way to go. Especially if you are planning on having kids. High set is tough enough with no kids but when you are changing diapers, bucking car seats, pushing the swing etc a high set diamond will end up more in your jewelry box than your finger because it will be a pain.


By the way, pretty diamond It just needs a good safe home!


Good luck.

Thanks for the input, asscher!

The diamond has been set lower, even though the jeweler felt it was unnecessary, but is still loose...